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Thursday, October 03, 2019

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The green groups show a relative short distance. While the yellows groups used by people to reach a long distance destination

The green group show a decrease in distace, while the yellow group has an increase in distace

The methods in green group are in decrease trend, while the ways in yellow group are in increase trend.

The groups have been marked through two different color according to increase or decrease.

They are grouped on the basis of increasing and decreasing over the time period show. While the yellow colur code is used to show an increasing trend, the green colour shows the decrease in travelled path from the year 1985 to 2000.

Walking\bycicle\local bus represent short-distance transport and are related to the flow of local population on a daily basis, which is on the decrease. While other modes, like car and taxi, which are mostly dependent on vehicles and engender longer movement, are on the decline between the two years 1985 and 2000.

LU

-> The data for travel by walking, bicycling, and on local buses all relate to short-distance commuting, and these modes have declined, while other modes, including cars and taxis, which facilitate longer journeys, show a decline when the two years 1985 and 2000 are compared.

[NB spelling: bicycle]

LU

But of course travel by car and tax actually rose. So the last sentence should read: show a rise when the two years 1985 and 2000 are compared.

I can see similarities and slight differences in the two groups.
In the green ones, modes of walking and bicycle went down but means of local bus.
In the yellow groups, most modes rose dramatically between 1985 and 2000.

increasing & decreasing trend

Please check my writing guys. I'm very thankful if u guys point out my mistakes so I can learn from it and be better :)

It is obvious that how far of travel had made by english people using form of transport, increseased considerably from 1985 to 2000.Cars were the most transportation that being used in both years.

Take a closer look at the table, it is clearly that the amount of distance made by car, soared significantly to 1607 miles over 15 years of period. The english people who referred public transportation such as train, long distance bus and taxi became a popular trend, which were also the reason why the distance in miles had a slight rise from 289 to 366, 54 to 124 and 13 to 42 respectively. With people had some conditions, they choice different form of travel like subways, planes, etc... to move, which increased the amount of distance to 135 miles from 1985 to 2000.

Along with the increasing trend, people who travelled by individual vehicles such as bicycles, maybe foot or even public local bus had some downgrade. It is also the reason why the distance in miles of these transportation dropped to 10,18 and even to 155 between 1985 and 2000

(184 words)

Katori

Where does all this information come from? Where is the introduction? "Take a closer look at the table": what table? None has been mentioned so far. This is a report and the first paragraph must report on the sources, and so should paraphrase "The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Average distance in miles traveled per person per year, by mode of travel."

"It is obvious": obvious to you, but not to the reader, because the reader may not have the data in front of them.

It is clear that there has been a significant increase in travel [No: the table specifically excludes overseas travel. This must be made clear in the report.] by English people using [which?] form of transport, which increseased [spelling!] considerably from 1985 to 2000.[This sounds like all the data for the intervening years is available, but we have just two distinct years here: who knows what happened in between?] In both years, cars were the most-used mode of transportation.

" it is clearly": why an adverb?

"the amount of distance made by car": how exactly do cars 'make' distance?

"over 15 years of period" -> over the fifteen-year period: again, this sounds like the intervening data is to hand.

"english": even Hobbits are capitalized.

"The english people who referred ... became a popular trend, which were ...": yes, English people can be quite trendy, but here we are talking about travel, not people.

"With people had some conditions": and what is the subject of the verb?

"they choice": their choice, or they choose, or they chose?

"a slight rise from 289 to 366, 54 to 124 and 13 to 42": these rises are 27%, 229%, and over 300% respectively. None of them are "slight", which would have to refer to a rise of under ten percent.

"etc...": oh no, do not use this in Task 1. It tells the examiner that you lack vocabulary.

"subways": this has a different meaning in British English. Do not introduce material not mentioned in (or deduced from) the data.

"Along with the increasing trend": sorry, which one is being referred to?

"people who travelled by individual vehicles": you mean there were other people who traveled on two vehicles at the same time, perhaps in opposite directions, with one foot on each vehicle?

"maybe foot or even public local bus [service?] had some downgrade": nothing about that in the data. I have recently downgraded my foot to a lower status and pay rate despite some complaints.

"dropped to 10,18 and even to 155": well that does not tell me anything useful, as I don't know what they dropped from, as I do not have the data in front of me.

Apologies, a bit testy this morning

Cheers, keep trying. It can only get better.


@Fruzsi
Thank for your feedback , I didn't think that I made lots of mistakes like this. Especially about the meaning which I felt quite good at it. Study IELTS myself never feel this hard but I have to move on and fix these mistakes. Thanks again for pointed it all out, I'm very appreciate it

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