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Wednesday, June 26, 2019

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Sir, God ideas sir, specifically, in 2 para, thanks

Nowadays city dwellers in many nations prefer to live on their own or in a single-parent family more than in a joint family. I think this is a negative development as this would not only affect the upbringing of their children negatively but also cause them to suffer from certain psychological illnesses.

When inhabitants of urban areas decide to live in small family units, their offsprings might develop certain negative traits and habits. As persons from the immediate family, such as grandparents, are often unavailable in such family groups, many parents have to rely on some strangers working as babysitters, who usually are not as sincere as the immediate family members in their responsibilities, to take care of their children. In such a situation, it is highly likely that children would develop bad behavior under the influence of their friends, television, and the internet due to less or even no restrictions. In India, for example, in recent years, cases of the juvenile delinquencies have been on the rise due to fewer family role models.

In addition, people living in nuclear families often have to suffer from mental disorders due to less human interaction. That is to say, they might not have many persons or even anyone to talk or to share their problems at their homes, and thus have to rely on passive distractions, such as television, or the internet, instead of the real human interactions. This gives them feelings of isolation and alienation and causes them to suffer from mental issues, such as severe depression, anxiety, and phobia, due to boredom and loneliness. For instance, a survey conducted by the WHO has revealed that depression is the most common psychological problem among working people who live in small family units.

In conclusion, I strongly believe it is a negative trend that a greater number of people living in metropolises today choose to live alone or only with their wife and children rather than in a large and extended family as this would hamper the growth of their sons and daughters, and lead to mental diseases.

Hello Simon. Thank you for your sample essay.
Can I choose both negative and positive for this question? I will give reasons why it is positive in one paragraph and reasons for negative in one paragraph.
Is it OK?
I hope to hear from you soon

Modern urban dwellers prefer to live alone or in nuclear families in contrast with our ancestors living in large family groups. In my opinion, this development is beneficial for the society because it reduces conflicts in families and as a result the youngsters grow up as good-tempered members of a society.

First of all, a person living by himself has opportunity to become fully independent member of a society. It is freedom to make our own decisions from tiny to huge one without any concern. We can make our own choice what to eat for breakfast, what dress to wear, play games or not, do renovation in a house or not, how arrange everything, etc. As a result, there is no unnecessary tension between family members and everyone has freedom to choose the way of their lives.

Secondly, a nuclear family unit where only immediate family involve helps people to maintain the budget more efficiently. It is easier to cooperate among two people rather than large extended family is involved. For instance, if a husband decided to buy a car, he would need to convince only his wife and nobody else. It means fewer conflicts and healthier atmosphere in a house hold. Thus, this way of life has positive consequences for children as well because if they are brought up in calm, satisfied environment, they will more stable emotionally and achieve more success in their lives.

In conclusion, I believe that recent trend of living life separately from the other members of a family is a positive development. This is because it allows adults to make their own decisions reducing conflicts among family members and helping to nurture children in a healthy, psychologically stable environment.

Thanks Simon

Mirabella

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+contrast+with%2Cin+contrast+to&year_start=1800&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cin%20contrast%20with%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20contrast%20to%3B%2Cc0

"our ancestors living in large family groups" -> our ancestors, who lived in large family groups. (Note the comma for this non-defining relative clause).

"as good-tempered members of a [No article required for society in general.] society."
('Member of a society' suggests someone who belongs to 'Friends of the Earth', or 'The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals' or similar.)

"to become [Missing article] fully independent member "

"It is [provides] freedom to make our own decisions from tiny to huge one without any concern."

"We can make our own choice as to what to eat for breakfast, what dress to wear, whether to play games or not, do renovation in a [to renovate the ] house or not, how arrange everything, etc.

"everyone has the freedom to choose [the way of their lives]"

"where only immediate family are involved"

"to maintain the budget" -> keep within budget
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_VERB+the+budget%2Ckeep+*+the+budget%2C+keep+within+budget&year_start=1800&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bbalance_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbalancing_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpreparing_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bapprove_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bprepare_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breduce_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bopening_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bopened_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcut_VERB%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Ckeep%20%2A%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bkeep%20within%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bkeep%20down%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bkeep%20to%20the%20budget%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ckeep%20within%20budget%3B%2Cc0

-> It is easier for two people to cooperate than for a large extended family.

"and [missing article] healthier atmosphere in a household [One word]"

"in [missing article] calm, satisfied [-ing ?] environment"

"they will be/become more stable"

"I believe that [Missing article] recent trend "

"it allows adults to make their own decisions [Missing comma - non-defining] reducing conflicts among"

Vishaal

'Offspring" is a collective noun like 'staff', 'cattle' or 'police' and so is rarely pluralized.

Thanks Zsofi

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In many countries, a growing number of husbands and wives decide to live their lives without children. While this is advantageous in a sense that they can save a significant amount of money for their old age, the feeling of isolation and loneliness is the main disadvantage.

When married couples do not have children, they can save a huge amount of money for their lives after retirement. This is mainly because the cost of education, medical, and childcare has been on the rise in the recent years. In such a costly environment, if mothers and fathers have more than a one child, it will become almost mandatory for both of them to work for the extended hours just to satisfy the need of their offspring. In India, for example, annual fees of primary education in most schools are around 100 thousand Indian Rupees, which is almost 50% of the annual income of any middle-class family.

Despite this benefit, the main drawback to married people who have no sons or daughters is that they would often feel alone and detached. This mostly happens when they become old and need some emotional support from the one very close to their heart, and in such time, if anyone of them died in the young age due to certain reasons, the other person’s life would become miserable, and thus he or she would more likely to suffer from psychological illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, or phobia. For instance, many elderly people living in old-age homes have been found to suffer from numerous mental issues as they usually lack an emotional touch of their children and grandchildren.

In conclusion, although married people can gather a large amount of money for the future by deciding not to have children, they often feel a sense of alienation and this causes them to acquire some psychological issues.

Dear Simon
In one of your writing task2 lessons, you mentioned about a site for another teacher that take your essays and re-write them in the other way.
I cannot find that lesson. Could you possibly share the link of that site again?
best regards

Undeniably, in the majority of nations individuals tend to live in nuclear families instead of joint families. In my opinion, this trend has a detrimental impact on both individual and social level.

To begin with, on an individual level this development has numerous negative effects on the attitude or thinking ability of a person. In ancient time, people prefer to live in joint families which will eventually put a less economic burden on the mindset of a person. Apart from this, in older times mothers could give more attention to domestic chores as well as take care of the babies this was only possible because of the other family members were there to help them such as grandparents and so on. For example, nowadays working parents cannot nurture their children, however, they have to hire a babysitter or admit their child in preschools, such arrangement may have a negative impact on the parent-child relationship in the upcoming years.

In addition, it is seen that parents and children have less interaction or they spend less time with each other due to their hectic schedule. So if individuals live in large family units younger ones will never feel alone as they have someone with whom they can share their trouble or problems with them. Another reason is in this contemporary world, most people spend their leisure time watching television or chatting with friends on social media. These technological gadgets are very harmful to health as this equipment also bring a sedentary lifestyle. As a result, children are becoming more impatient or aggressive in nature. For instance, if small families are converted into extended ones, children can gain moral values or other valuable skills rather than wasting time on the internet.

To sum up, in this modern time period, various smaller family units can be seen in comparison to the extended family units, I would say that this trend may bring several negatives consequences in the future.

Ruby:

1) While "undeniably" is on occasion used at the beginning of a sentence, I would not start an essay in this way.

https://books.google.co.nz/books?id=-VrPnYS-C1oC&q=%22undeniably,%22&dq=%22undeniably,%22&hl=uk&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiozZORgJvjAhVGU7wKHTmrBic4MhDoAQhjMAk

2) The term "joint family" seems to be used in India, but its meaning outside this context is unclear. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/joint_family#English

"Extended family" would be a more general term, and probably more accurate when looking at families around the globe.

3) "on both individual and social level." -> on both the individual and society as a whole. OR on both the individual level and the social level (whatever "level" would then mean in this context).

4) "In ancient time": usually plural in this phrase, although notably singular in the poem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_did_those_feet_in_ancient_time

5) "people prefer ": past/present/future?

6) "...people prefer to live in joint families [Missing comma, absolutely essential here.] which will eventually p...."

7) -> put a smaller/decreased economic burden

8) How can one put an economic burden on a mindset ? This is incoherent.

9) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+older+times%2Cin+olden+times%2Cin+olden+days%2C+in+the+olden+days&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cin%20older%20times%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20olden%20times%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20olden%20days%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20the%20olden%20days%3B%2Cc0

10)"give more attention to domestic c" -> pay more attention to ...

11) " as well as take care of the babies [Run-on sentence] this was only ... "

12) " because of the other family members were there .. " : "because of" is a preposition, not a conjunction.

13) "their children, [Full stop or (semi-)colon required.] however, they have to"

14) " admit their child in preschools, " -> have their child admitted to preschool ... OR place their child in daycare

15) "preschools, [Must have a full stop here: run-on sentence.] such arrangement "

16) it is seen -> it can be seen/it is often seen

17) "So if individuals live in large family units [missing comma] younger ones .."

18) " with whom they can share their trouble or problems with them."

19) "this equipment also bring a sedentary lifestyle": subject/verb agreement.

20) " various smaller family units can be seen in comparison to the extended family units, [Run-on sentence.] I would say th..."

Need to brush up on punctuation!

In many countries nowadays, more and more people are living alone or in a small isolated family as opposed to living in a large family with extended members. This has several potential consequences to the family.

living alone or in a small family not only leads to have less support for family but also have negative impacts on children. The couples without their parents need to send their children to daycare or call nannies for help. This increase their financial expenses. Some money could be saved if grandparents taken care of the children. Without living with other relatives, people would need to spend their time with friends, watching TV or surfing internet. So, their behavior is influenced by those factors instead of their own parents or other relatives. The children are also affected in isolated family environment. They may mimic the characters in the TV or from the internet to learn bad behaviors. And this may further lead to rising juvenile delinquency. The family role model is a good way of reducing this if many relatives lived together.

In addition to the impacts mentioned above, It has some psychological effects due to less human interactions. There are factors may contribute to low mood, such as spending too much time on TV or internet, instead of real human interaction. People with more relatives would not feel bored, lonely, isolated and alienation. Many mental problems arise when people have no one to share their life stories, especially when they are down. If we do not timely release internal tension by having chat, it would build up and might lead to anxiety and depression. The children are also affected by boring environment, they would have no close playmates such as cousins. They spend hours of time on TV or internet along with their parents. They easily learn from movie or game characters, mimic their bad actions. In some cases, lacking family role model might lead to juvenile delinquency.

In conclusion, living alone or in small family without more relatives have negatives impacts on both adults and children.

The second paragraph included extra sentences related to the juvenile delinquency.

resubmission:

In many countries nowadays, more and more people are living alone or in a small isolated family as opposed to living in a large family with extended members. This has several potential consequences to the family.

living alone or in a small family not only leads to have less support for family but also have negative impacts on children. The couples without their parents need to send their children to daycare or call nannies for help. This increase their financial expenses. Some money could be saved if grandparents taken care of the children. Without living with other relatives, people would need to spend their time with friends, watching TV or surfing internet. So, their behavior is influenced by those factors instead of their own parents or other relatives. The children are also affected in isolated family environment. They may mimic the characters in the TV or from the internet to learn bad behaviors. And this may further lead to rising juvenile delinquency. The family role model is a good way of reducing this if many relatives lived together.

In addition to the impacts mentioned above, It has some psychological effects due to less human interactions. There are factors may contribute to low mood, such as spending too much time on TV or internet, instead of real human interaction. People with more relatives would not feel bored, lonely, isolated and alienation. Many mental problems arise when people have no one to share their life stories, especially when they are down. If we do not timely release internal tension by having chat, it would build up and might lead to anxiety and depression.

In conclusion, living alone or in small family without more relatives have negatives impacts on both adults and children.

Yusupjan

1) "Consequences for the family" is more common.
https://www.google.com/search?q=%22consequences+for+the+family%22&tbas=0&tbm=bks&ei=Y5AfXbihE8GP9QPr9JeABw&start=50&sa=N&ved=0ahUKEwj43r2Hrp7jAhXBR30KHWv6BXA4PBDy0wMIaw&biw=1251&bih=960&dpr=1

2) -> Living alone (capitalization).

3) -> leads to having ('to' is a preposition here.)

4) -> Living alone or in ... but also has

5) -> Couples living away from their parents

6) "This increase": subject/verb agreement?

7) -> Some money could be saved if grandparents took care of the children.

8) -> When living with other relatives, people would be able to spend their time with friends, watching TV or surfing internet. ???

9) -> the characters on the TV or the internet

10) "to learn bad behaviors": this implies the acquisition of poor behaviour is intentional, knowingly done, and deliberate.

11) "The family role model is a good way of reducing this if many relatives lived together." -> Living in an extended family setting provides a greater variety of role models, and should lead to better behaviour and a reduction in juvenile delinquency.

12) "above, It": capitalization.

13) -> isolated and alienated.

14) -> when people have no one to share their life stories with,

15) "by having a chat"

16) ->living alone or in small family without more relatives has negative [no 's'] impacts

@gioletta
Thanks a lot.

Nowadays there is a growing trend that urban dwellers prefer to live separate or in nuclear family system rather than in combine family system. According to my point of view, it is a productive trend as it ensures self and financial independence as well as helps in avoiding unnecessary interference.
Living alone or only with your immediate family promotes self-reliance in every aspect of life. That is to say having freedom to choose what to cook, what clothes to wear, in what field or area you pursue your career and how the leisure time should be spent gives you true satisfaction. Furthermore, it disciplines your ability to manage your financial expenditure as you know how to spend your income within your budgetary frame. As a result, you become more responsible not only in your house chores but also in dealing with your finances. You will be more organized and mature and at the same time doing many things the way you want them to be done.
Another reason is living in bigger family units depends upon the ability to compromise many things that should be ranked on the top of your priority list in your daily life. For instance, taking decisions on petty issues will pass through chain of approvals coming from each hierarchical level of the family leading towards loss of interest in life and prevents you from taking many positive yet challenging initiatives. The reason is when you have to do everything after getting it screened or approved from every other member residing in your house; you will develop a feeling of losing control over everything you possess, most importantly your brain. The fact is all the time you will be in undesired guilt that many things are being overlooked that obviously are no point of worrying if living alone.
In conclusion, living your life according to your wish and upbringing your kids in best manner are only possible if you discourage living in extended families.

Afshan Mahmood

https://www.google.com/search?hl=uk&tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22a+growing+trend+for+%22&num=10

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=is+a+growing+trend+*&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cis%20a%20growing%20trend%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20toward%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20in%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20for%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20towards%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20among%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20away%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20a%20growing%20trend%20and%3B%2Cc0

-> trend for urban dwellers to prefer

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+a+*+family+system%2C+in+a+combined+family+system%2C+in+an+extended+family%2C+with+an+extended+family&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cin%20a%20%2A%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bin%20a%20joint%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20dysfunctional%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20nuclear%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20conjugal%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20patriarchal%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20closed%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20changing%20family%20system%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20an%20extended%20family%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cwith%20an%20extended%20family%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=According+to+my+point+of+view%2C+In+my+view&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CIn%20my%20view%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?hl=uk&tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22as+well+as+helping+to+avoid%22&num=10

Topic sentences:

Smaller families are not likely to access help from relatives and this could have adverse effects on their children.

Living a solitary life may be detrimental to a person's mental health.

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