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Sunday, June 30, 2019

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sorry, sir. My first time IELTS speaking result is 5.5. After being suggested to use "a dew" (not too many) linking words described as "not natural" by you, I got 6.0. The two exams were taken just two weeks. In other words, my English level was not significantly improved. In short, the 0.5 difference was due to those linking words that are discouraged by you.

Congratulations on making that improvement.

There’s nothing wrong with using a few linking words, but many people do “overuse” them. This “overusing” isn’t really a problem at band 6, but for band 7 and higher we need to aim for more natural linking.

Dear Simon
In one of your writing task2 lessons, you mentioned about a site for another teacher that take your essays and re-write them in the other way.
I cannot find that lesson. Could you possibly share the link of that site again?
best regards

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

State authorities of many nations target the annual income of their countries over any other issues. While this would be advantageous for the advancements in multiple sectors, I would argue that the disadvantage of the rise in the air pollution is more significant.

The primary benefit associated with the prioritizing economical development is that governments can expedite the growth of their countries. That is to say, they could spend large sums of money in the development of certain crucial areas, such as scientific research, medicine, and technology, as they have sufficient financial resources to invest. In 2018, for example, India’s economy had grown by about 5% and due to this the Indian Government has decided to invest 500 million Indian Rupees in the project of developing solar system to generate the electricity. However, I feel that this positive is of no use when people’s health is at risk due to this growth.

That said, the major drawback linked with the focusing solely on the economic growth is that the carbon level in the environment will be boosted. This is mainly because there will be more factories and more vehicles that consume fossil fuel in some parts of the world due to the development and expansion of many sectors, and thus a significant amount of carbon dioxide will be released in the atmosphere. This means that a greater number of people will suffer from respiratory diseases, namely asthma. In Delhi, for instance, many people today suffer from lung-related issues due the massive expansion of chemical industries in the past five years. I, therefore, believe that governments should first think about the well-being of their citizens prior to making any step in the direction of nations’ development.

In conclusion, although states can enhance the progress of some important areas by focusing on their countries’ economic growth, I think that the drawback associated with this in terms of the increase in the level of carbon dioxide and thus increase in the spread of respiratory issues clearly outweighs any or all other possible benefits.

Vishaal:

"Economic growth is the increase in the inflation-adjusted market value of the goods and services produced by an economy over time. It is conventionally measured as the percent rate of increase in real gross domestic product, or real GDP": per Wikipedia.

"Target the annual income" sounds as if you are referring to taxation, where "annual income" is indeed the relevant term. Growth in GDP (gross domestic product) is the relevant term or measure for this essay topic.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_growth

Note the essay is really about relevant criteria for decision-making, not about outcomes.

"economical development" -> economic development: https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=economical+development%2Ceconomic+development&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ceconomical%20development%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ceconomic%20development%3B%2Cc0

"In 2018, for example, India’s economy had grown ..." : wrong tense, use past simple.

"in the project of developing solar system": the "solar system" refers to our Sun, and its associated planets as an astronomic entity.

-> in a project to develop a solar energy system

"on the economic growth": why the article?

"carbon level": carbon is everywhere; the term needed is "atmospheric carbon dioxide levels" (ie 415ppm), or "greenhouse gas emissions". CO2 levels are currently the highest for the last half-million years, at 415ppm, up from 390ppm ten years ago, and 320ppm in 1958. https://www.co2.earth/monthly-co2

https://www.johnenglander.net/chart-of-420000-year-history-temperature-co2-sea-level/

"in the direction of nations’ development." -> national development. Sometimes it does not pay to paraphrase key terms; the essay is more cohesive with some repetition.

"and thus increase in the spread of respiratory issues" -> and the consequent increase in ...

Hmm, 340 words.

Economic theories, particularly neo-liberal theories, tend to ignore "externalities", that is, ecological and environmental issues.....

I wonder whether the IELTS Chief Examiner would set such a broad-ranging question on economic theory in the first place, as it calls for a sound knowledge of the relevant (specialized) terminology.

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