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Thursday, April 25, 2019

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Both the combinatorial charts depict the information about proportion of languages spoken by British students other than English in 2000 and 2010.
At a glance, it is vividly noticed that striking factor being the trend of overall variations in percentage of language used by British pupils other than English. In 2000, German and two other languages share same platform with 10% and after 10 years two other languages upsurged with 5%.In 2000 french and another language moved hand in hand with 15% in following decade it declined and increased with 5% respectively. Further,no other language became half in 2010 of 2000. Moreover, being 30% in 2000 Spanish language rises 5% up to 2010 .
To sum up ,British students use other languages in a low fraction.

nav

Your report seems to be an attempt to impress the examiner. However the result is quite the opposite. The reason is that so many of the phrases used are either over the top, inappropriate or unusual. It would be better to focus on doing a straightforward and accurate job on Task 1 in the time available.

1) We are dealing with tables, not charts. Please research the difference.

2) "Combinatorial charts" does not come up on Google books. You must use natural phrases and collocations to obtain a good score. If you wish to use less common words and phrases, then they need to be used with some awareness of style and collocation. Clearly this is not the case here, so immediately your vocabulary score would head down toward Band 6. Please study the graph below which shows which phrases are natural: they must then only be used in the right context.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+two+*+combined%2Cboth+the+*+combined%2Ccombinatorial+*%2C+combinatorial+charts&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cthe%20two%20%2A%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20are%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20were%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20groups%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20years%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20samples%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20sexes%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20countries%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20parties%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20be%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20two%20companies%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cboth%20the%20others%20combined%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Ccombinatorial%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20optimization%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20explosion%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20problems%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20chemistry%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20problem%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20analysis%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20libraries%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20logic%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20possibilities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcombinatorial%20and%3B%2Cc0

It is vitally important to change your approach and attitude if you wish to score over Band 6 for vocabulary. Simple and natural will get your further in Task 1. Pay massive attention to collocations and context: it is all about style and appropriate language.

3) The phrase "depict the information about" does not come up on Google books. However, the phrases "the tables show" and "the charts show" crop up quite often. As an examiner which would you regard as more natural? Which would be more appropriate in the context? How could you possibly award Band 9 if no native speakers are using the phrase? Imagine that I use some weird phrase in your own language: would you give me high marks just because I had found an unusual word in the dictionary and used it incorrectly?

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=depict+the+information+about%2C+the+charts+show%2C+the+tables+show&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cthe%20charts%20show%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20tables%20show%3B%2Cc0

4) "about proportion of languages ": what is missing here? Please do your own research.
Looking on Google Books, this phrase does come up a little. However if you check the link below, you will see that the authors using it have non-English sounding names such as Shaozi Li, ‎Qun Jin, ‎Xiaohong Jiang,Sarbani Banerjee,Nada Zecevic, ‎Zsófia Maglóczky and so forth. The graph shows the natural phrase, which is of course much more common.
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=about+proportion+of%2C+about+the+proportion+of&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cabout%20proportion%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cabout%20the%20proportion%20of%3B%2Cc0

5) "At a glance, it is vividly noticed ": eliminate these superfluous and redundant phrases.

Enough for today?

Band 7 = "uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation"

Otherwise it is downward to:
Band 6 = "attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy"

Thanks simon ... i will check it today

The two tables show us the percentage of students in one British university who master foreign languages in 2000 and 2010.
The proportion of students who only can speak English dropped during ten years, from one-fifth to one-tenth. In contrast, the figure for those who master more than one foreign language has increased from 10 percent in 2000 to 15 percent in 2010.
Among the other languages, Spanish is the most popular language in these two years with about one-third of students mastering it. While only around 20% of the university's students are able to speak French and Greman with 10 percent of each respectively. In addition, there was a slight 5 percent decrease in the figure of French. As for the proportion of students speaking other languages, the figure rose 5 percent from 15 percent in 2000 in 10 years.
In general, more student can speak more than one language in this university than 10 years ago and the language which enjoy the most popularity is Spanish.

Della

1) "who master foreign languages in 2000 and 2010." It's 2019 now. Tense? Also, being able to speak a language is not quite the same as mastery, which equates to at least IELTS Band 9. It is also possible to speak Japanese, Mandarin or other Chinese dialects, and not be able to read much at all. Mis-paraphrasing the introduction, to my mind, is so misleading that it invalidates all that comes after, so I would be very wary here. There is no penalty for copying a phrase of up to three words from the question or diagram title, or labels. So why take the risk?

2) Usually we write "divided into six categories" at the end of the introduction. We can specify the categories, but in this case I am not sure it will help. However, these two ideas are something to be considered automatically as part of writing the introduction. Here we could simply state: French, German, and Spanish are identified as separate categories. "Another language" as a category refers to speaking one other language only.

3) "who only can speak"": confusing word order.

4) "during ten years": which ten years? If you mean the ten years outlined in the introduction, then there is a word missing.

5) "who master": tense? A period up to a specific date in the past, or by a specific date in the past, needs a special tense in English. What is it?

6) "has increased": present perfect is almost never used with a specific date, and here we have two: 2000 and 2010. Your first choice for talking about the past should be what?

7) It is a good idea to hammer home the comparisons by adding to the introduction: "half as much again".

8) "Spanish is the most popular language": NOT GIVEN: there is no information about the present state of affairs in the tables.

9) "to speak French and Greman": never heard of 'Greman'? Also, misleading as it sounds as if one-fifth of the students speak two foreign languages, which is not true at all.

10) "a slight 5 percent decrease in the figure of French"-> a slight decrease (5%) in the figure for French (as a second language).

11) "speaking other languages": could be misunderstood as referring to all foreign languages including French, Spanish and German. Need to make clear that this is a category with a special meaning. -> categorized as speaking one other language.

12) "more student": would you like some more chicken? No thanks, but I could eat more student.

13) the language(singular) which(singular) enjoy(Why is this plural?)

The two pie charts provide information about the distributions of one university British students in England capable to speak other languages than English in the years 2000 and 2010.

Overall, it is clear that the vast majority of students was able to speak more than one language and the most widely spoken language was Spanish.

It can be seen from the charts that the proportion of students spoken only Spanish as well as English was the highest in 2010 and 2010 (30% and 35% respectively). In contrast, the number of British students talking by the German language in 2010 stood at the same percentage as in 2010. However, the percentage of students spoken French decreased by 5% in the 2010 year compared to the 2000 years. In addition, the proportion of students speaking by another language or two other languages increased by 5 percentages during the ten years period. Also, British students able to speak only English decreased by twice as many in 2010 as in 2000.

Viktorija

1) In fact the phrase "charts provide information about" is seldom used in this situation. "The charts show" is by far more common and natural.

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22charts+provide+information+about%22&hl=uk&tbm=bks&ei=irTCXMaaGYrgrQHAloTQAQ&start=0&sa=N&ved=0ahUKEwjGh9S6n-3hAhUKcCsKHUALARo4ChDx0wMISA&biw=1326&bih=947&dpr=1

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=The+charts+show%2CThe+charts+provide+a%2C*_NOUN+provide+information&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2CThe%20charts%20show%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BThe%20charts%20show%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20charts%20show%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20charts%20provide%20a%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BThe%20charts%20provide%20a%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20charts%20provide%20a%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bdata_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bstudies_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Btests_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breports_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsources_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsystems_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmeasurements_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bresults_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecords_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Borganizations_NOUN%20provide%20information%3B%2Cc0

2) -> the distribution of foreign language competency at one British university. There are six categories: .... (The reader would assume that a British university would be in England.)

3)https://brians.wsu.edu/2016/05/24/majority-are-majority-is/

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=The+majority+is%3Aeng_us_2012%2CThe+majority+is%3Aeng_gb_2012%2CThe+majority+was%2CA+majority+were%2CThe+majority+are%3Aeng_gb_2012%2CThe+majority+are%3Aeng_us_2012%2CThe+majority+were&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2CThe%20majority%20is%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20majority%20is%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20majority%20is%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20majority%20is%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20majority%20is%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20majority%20is%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20majority%20was%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20majority%20was%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20majority%20was%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CA%20majority%20were%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Ba%20majority%20were%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BA%20majority%20were%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20majority%20are%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20majority%20are%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20majority%20are%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20majority%20are%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20majority%20are%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20majority%20are%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20majority%20were%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20majority%20were%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20majority%20were%3B%2Cc0

4) To me, "the vast majority" suggests something toward ninety percent, but in 2000 the results show only eighty per cent, so perhaps it is an overstatement. "A substantial/large majority" ?

5) Your overview does not highlight the increase in foreign language competency in the latter year.

6) -> the proportion of students whose only foreign language was Spanish

7) -> able to speak German

8) stood at the same percentage as in 2010.-> remained unchanged at ten per cent.

9) -> students speaking French

10) -> speaking by another language

11) -> by five percent OR by five points

12) -> the ten-year period

13) decreased by twice as many in 2010 as in 2000-> had halved by 2010.

The two charts compare the percentage of students who were English speakers at one university who also can speak foreign languages in the year 2000 and 2010.

It is noticeable that the vast majority of students were able to speak at least one foreign language as well as English. We also can see that Spanish was the most widely spoken second language among the surveyed group of students.

To be more specific, there were 70% of the students who were able to speak another foreign language in 2000, while 75%of surveyed students were bilingual in the year of 2010. Among these bilinguals, Spanish drew the most fans in both 2000 and 2010, 30% and 35% respectively. Furthermore, the proportion of students who can speak two other languages in addition to English increased from 10% to 15% by 5%.

It is also can be seen that 20% of British students in this university spoke English in 2000, whereas this percentage dropped dramatically to 10%.

Clare

1) Students at universities are often classified for fee purposes as international versus domestic, in the same way as airport terminals, and flights. "Students who were English speakers" would actually cover both groups, so a better paraphrase might be "domestic students". The point is that international students, whose first language might or might not be English, have been excluded from the sample.

2) The phrase "who also can speak foreign languages" is inaccurate. Some can only speak one foreign language.

3) See Bogdan's comments above re "the vast majority".

4) Note that it is more common to put "surveyed" after the noun rather than before.
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+group+surveyed%2Cthe+surveyed+group%2C+the+_NOUN_+surveyed%2C+the+surveyed+_NOUN_&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2Cthe%20group%20surveyed%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20group%20surveyed%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20group%20surveyed%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20surveyed%20group%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cthe%20_NOUN_%20surveyed%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20_NOUN_%20surveyed%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20_NOUN_%20surveyed%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cthe%20surveyed%20_NOUN_%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20surveyed%20_NOUN_%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20surveyed%20_NOUN_%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20Surveyed%20_NOUN_%3B%2Cc0

There are a number of past participles like this, for example: the information provided.

5) "drew the most fans": it is not a rock band or football team: too colorful for an academic report, but might be fine in Task 2.

6) "20% of British students in this university spoke English ": and the other 80% spoke no English at all, despite being raised in the UK? How did they understand the lessons?

Given tables compare percentages different languages which were spoken by the students of a university in England except English in 2000 and 2010.

overall, most of the students at the university spoke in Spanish compared to other languages in the given years. German was the least in the categories, had chosen by the students.


Please, feel free to check my answer. Thanks.

From the given illustrations, 30% of total students and 35% in 2010 used to speak in Spanish which was the highest proportions in language categories. Speaking in another language was the second maximum, increased from 15% to 20% in 2010. Besides, students who did not speak in no other language dropped from 20% to 10%.

Noticeably, German as a chosen language accounted for the same percentage in 2000 and 2010, about 10 out of 100 students. French had its trend fell off around 5% between two years, Finally, students at the university who spoke in two other languages rose from 10% to 15% in two particular years.

The presented tables illustrates the percentage of UK students in one university in Britain whose ability of speaking other languages show in addition to English in 2000 and 2010.

overall,between 2000 and 2010 it depicts a gradual increase regarding Spanish language.5% of students could speak this language fluently.20% of students were able to speak English in the year 2010.But it decrease in 10% of students in Britain.

There isn't a variation of German language.Both the 2000 and 2010 years,equal amount of students
were able to speak German language.

Finally,a small minority of students were able to speak an another language and two other languages.It grows in 5% of students in England.

hello,I'm a new comer to this page.exactly I don't know how i write these charts.can you give me a band score for this?I need to know about my level.thanks for your valuable notes.they are very helpful

Akter/thanu

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=tables+given%2Ctables+provided%2Ctables+presented%2Cgiven+tables%2Cprovided+tables%2Cpresented+tables&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2Ctables%20given%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btables%20given%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTables%20given%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Ctables%20provided%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btables%20provided%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTables%20provided%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Ctables%20presented%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btables%20presented%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTables%20presented%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cgiven%20tables%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bgiven%20tables%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bgiven%20Tables%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cprovided%20tables%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cpresented%20tables%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bpresented%20tables%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpresented%20Tables%3B%2Cc0

These past participles tend to follow the noun, rather than preceded it.

thanu

1) "...tables illustrates" : grammar!

2) "...in university" vs "at university": there is a difference in meaning.

3) -> ability to + VERB
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ability+*_ADP%2Cability+to%2Cability+*+speak%2C+ability+of+speaking&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cability%20%2A_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bability%20of_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20in_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20for_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20as_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20with_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20at_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20than_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20on_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20by_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20that_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cability%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cability%20%2A%20speak%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bability%20to%20speak%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bability%20may%20speak%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cability%20of%20speaking%3B%2Cc0

4) Punctuation & capitalization errors: "overall,between "; "language.5%" ; "languages.It"; "Finally,a"; "his?I "; " years,equal " ; "2010.But"; "fluently.20%".

5) -> .. there was a ten percent decrease ...

Akter

[]

"Given tables compare [missing article] percentages [missing preposition] different languages which were spoken by the students of a university in England except [-> other than] English in 2000 and 2010.

[Capitalization]overall, most of the students at the university spoke in [no preposition required] Spanish compared to [as opposed to/rather than] other languages in the given years. German was the least [spoken] in the categories, [next phrase incoherent:] had chosen by the students.

From the given illustrations, [You do not need to keep referring back to the diagrams or tables: this is covered in the introduction] 30% of total students and 35% in 2010 used to ['used to' might imply that they no longer do: also, there is no evidence that they actually spoke Spanish, just that they had the ability to do so] speak in Spanish which was the highest proportions [had/represented the highest proportion of all the categories] in language categories. Speaking in another [It has not been made clear that 'another language' is a category.] language was the second maximum [second highest], increased from 15% to 20% in 2010. Besides, ['Besides' is argumentative in nature and more suitable for Task 2.] students [The students did not drop: the percentage did. We have no knowledge about student numbers at all: only percentages. For all we know the overall number of students may have halved or doubled when comparing the two years.] who did not speak in no other language dropped from 20% to 10%.

Noticeably, [NO, this does not work as a linking adverb at the start of a sentence.] German as a chosen [We do not know that the second language was 'chosen': for all we know these students might have been raised in a German-speaking immigrant family, so German is their first language and English their second. There are many immigrant "British" families where English is not much used at home, or the parents rarely speak English.] language accounted for the same percentage in 2000 and 2010, about 10 out of 100 students [about one in ten]. French had its trend fell off ['had' here suggests that 'French' is a person who arranged for the falling trend.] around 5% between two years, Finally, [the percentage of] students at the university who spoke in two other languages rose from 10% to 15% in two particular years.

The given charts compare the percentage of British students who were multilingual in the university of U.K. over the period of two years.
Overall, It is clear that the proportion of those students had increased who were able to speak Spanish, Another languages and two other languages over the students who could speak French and no other language.

In 2000, students who spoke Spanish only were 30% that rose upto 5% in 2010. Similar increase in the proportion of Another language users can be noticed. They were 15% in 2000 and became 20% in the last year. In the same way, students of two other languages increased from 10 to 15%.

On the contrary, students who could not speak in other language fell from 20% to 10% in 2010 and 5% decline came in the users of French only. The proportion of German language speakers remain same in both years.

thank you zara.I'ii cheak them.

harjit

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+given+charts%2Cthe+charts+given%2C+The+charts+below%2C+The+charts+above%2C+the+charts+provided&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cthe%20given%20charts%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cthe%20charts%20given%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20charts%20given%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20charts%20given%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20charts%20below%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20charts%20below%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20charts%20below%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2CThe%20charts%20above%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20charts%20above%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20charts%20above%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cthe%20charts%20provided%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20charts%20provided%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BThe%20charts%20provided%3B%2Cc0

The phrase "in the university of U.K" does not mean the same as "at one university in England".

The phrase "over the period of two years" suggests two contiguous years, whereas the years in the tables are not.

"Overall, It ": capitalization error.

The past perfect "had increased" refers to a period before some reference point in the past. So, before when?

-> the proportion of students who were able to speak Spanish increased significantly.

You would need to set up "Another languages" as a category label before using it.

"over the students" -> as compared to the students

"In 2000, students who spoke Spanish only were 30% that rose upto 5% in 2010. ": a 'run-on' sentence with two main verbs.

"Similar increase": missing article.

"students of two other languages": this sounds as if the students are studying two other languages, not that they are already proficient in them.

"On the contrary": this is an argumentative phrase suitable for Task 2. "In contrast" is more suitable for Task 1.

"speak in other language": speak any other language ??

"5% decline": missing article.

"remain": when are we talking about? Past, present, or future?

The pie charts give information about British university students' ability to speak foreign languages in two different years, namely 2000 and 2010.

Overall, the majority of students knew more than one language in 2000 and 2010, and the number of students speaking foreign languages went up over a 10-year period. The most common foreign languages were Spanish, German and French.

It is clear that students with bilingual skill in Spanish and English took up the largest proportion in 2000 and 2010, with 50% and 35% percentages respectively. In 2000, there were 15% students who spoke French as a foreign language, 5% higher than German, while in 2010, an exact same number of people spoke these languages, each making up 10% of the whole population.

Besides French, German and Spanish, some other languages were spoken as students' only foreign language, and the figure was 15% in 2010 and 20% ten years later. A mere 10% of students spoke two languages other than English in 2000, and the figure rose to 15% over a 10-year period. Finally, the proportion of students who mastered no foreign language declined from 20% in 2000 to 10% in 2010.

Thanks a lot, Zara

I'm gonna write it again.

Juana

1) Personally, I am not favorably impressed by the phrase "pie charts give information about". Outside the realm of IELTS, it crops up only once on Google Books. The same applies to "pie charts provide information about".
The phrase "pie charts show" is far more common.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=pie+charts+show%2Ccharts+provide+information+about%2Ccharts+give+information&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cpie%20charts%20show%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ccharts%20provide%20information%20about%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ccharts%20give%20information%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=6vPFXNaCG9i0rQG3-IvYCQ&q=%22pie+charts+provide+information+about%22&oq=%22pie+charts+provide+information+about%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...25326.25806.0.26374.4.4.0.0.0.0.175.341.0j2.2.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..2.0.0....0.IS-eyNsJ9Ng

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=6vPFXNaCG9i0rQG3-IvYCQ&q=%22pie+charts+provide+information+about%22&oq=%22pie+charts+provide+information+about%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...25326.25806.0.26374.4.4.0.0.0.0.175.341.0j2.2.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..2.0.0....0.IS-eyNsJ9Ng

2) "Bilingual skills" is more common than "bilingual skill".
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=bilingual+skill%2Cbilingual+skills&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cbilingual%20skill%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cbilingual%20skills%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bbilingual%20skills%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BBilingual%20Skills%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BBilingual%20skills%3B%2Cc0

3) "Bilingual" implies that one can speak one's first and second languages equally well. This is not necessarily the same as being "able to speak" another language. "Bilingual" would be above and beyond "proficient" [Band 9], which itself is above "competent" [Band 7]. "Able to speak" might include just being able to get by in conversation, with no writing ability at all.

4) "with 50% and 35% percentages respectively."-> at fifty per cent and 35% respectively.

5) "there were 15% students who ": fifteen per cent of the students spoke ...

6) Please note one-word numbers are usually written out in full.

7) " an exact same number of ": exactly the same number of ...

8) "language, and the figure was 15% in 2010 and 20%": ... language, (being) fifteen percent in 2010, (and) rising to twenty per cent ten years later.

9) "Mere": this implies a value judgement on your part which is not objective.

10) "students who had mastered ..."

Thank you, Sunita!
I've learned a lot from your comment:)

Please kindly check on my writing.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of British student who were able to speak another language other than English between 2000 and 2010.

It is clear that in 2000 and 2010 most of the British student spoke other language beside English with Spanish is the most second language that was used.

80% of the British student in 2000 used other language beside English most of the used Spanish with the percentage of 30%, followed by French and German with 15% and 10% respectively. 15% of them spoke another language while 10% spoke another two language.

In 2010 the percentage of the British student who spoke other language beside English rose to 90%. Most of them still used Spanish as in 2010 but the percentage also rose to 35%, followed by French and German both with the percentage 10%. There was an increase in the percentage of British student who knew another language and two other language. It was 20% and 15%.

The two charts above illustrate the percentage of students who could speak other languages besides English in Britain in 2000 and 2010.

It is clear from the graph that Spanish remained to be the most popular second language spoken by students in Britain in both years, which enjoyed a 5% increase from 30% in 2000 to 35% in 2010.

On the contrary, the proportion of students who were capable of speaking only English witnessed a 50% decrease during this peoriod, jumping from 20% to 10%. Similarly, there was also a declination of 5% in the number of students who were able to speak French, with only one-tenth students speaking this langauge in 2010.

The graph also shows that there were 20% of British students could speak another language and 15% two other languages in 2010, demonstrating a 5% rise for both groups compared with the figure one decade ago.

elizabeth

"the percentage of British student" : singular or plural?

"another language other than English " -> a language other than English

"between 2000 and 2010": strictly speaking that would mean the years 2001 to 2009. We just have two snapshots at two points in time and no idea what the situation was in the interim.

"most of the British student": singular or plural.

"spoke other language" : spoke another language

Yes, Spanish was the most common second language. It is important to note the differences between the two years, and make comparisons. Ten percent more students could speak a foreign language. Spanish speakers rose by five percent.

The third paragraph has run-on sentences.
There are more issues with singular/plural. This must be fixed to achieve a good score.

cher

"Spanish ..... which enjoyed a 5% ": the gap is too wide, so the back reference is confusing.

"On the contrary": see Sandi's comments further up the page.

"witnessed": anthropomorphic.

" jumping from 20% to 10%": jumping would be up not down.

"declination": this means a slope: 'decline' is the word here.

"there were 20% of British students could speak ": grammar.

" one decade ago ": 'ago' references now, here we need one decade prior/previously.

thank you Da Nang for your feed back!

your feedback is greatly appreciated, Da Nang.

This table illustrates the percentage of a British university students who could speak other languages beside English, in the years 2000 and 2010.
In 2000, nearly 80% of students were able to speak a second language. This figure has increased by 5% in 2010. Moreover the proportion of students who could communicate in two other languages has increased from 10% to 15% over this decade.
It is evident that in 2000, the most common languages spoken apart from English were Spanish, French and German holding a share of 30%, 15% and 10% respectively.Students who could converse in a second language other than Spanish, French and German accounted for about 15% of the total.
In 2010, while there is 5% rise in the number of Spanish speaking students, a similar rate of decline is observed in the number of French users.In contrast, the portion of German speakers has remained the same at one in ten.

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