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Thursday, April 11, 2019

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"Easy but accurate" is an excellent method indeed. Simon, Could you make a lesson about what the examiners are looking for in both writing tasks? So that students do focus on those aspects. PLEASE!

I would appreciate it if anyone could give me feedback on my INTRODUCTION and CONCLUSION.
-------------------
Question -
People eat more processed food than they did in the past.
Why is this?
What are the effects of this?
-------------------------------------
Introduction -
These days people prefer easy to cook food compared to healthy cooking. This statement is true because they live a busy life than in the past and that results in obesity and other health issues.
------------------------------------
Conclusion -
In conclusion, people who choose processed food due to busy lifestyle have to face obesity and other health problems.

@ Shakhzod

You can easily find the writing assessment criteria which is in public domain that shows exactly what the examiner wants from writing tasks.

Jigna

These days people prefer easy-to-cook food compared to rather than healthy cooking. This statement is true because they people live lead a busy much busier life than in the past and that a poor diet and lack of exercise results in obesity and other health issues.

In conclusion, people who choose a diet largely composed of processed food due to a busy lifestyle have to face obesity and other health problems.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADJ+meals%2Cpre-prepared+meals%2Cready+meals%2Cprocessed+foods%2Cpre-processed+foods%2Cready-to-cook%2C+processed+food&year_start=1980&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bfree_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregular_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsmall_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bown_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhot_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcooked_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bgood_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbalanced_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfrequent_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdaily_ADJ%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpre%20-%20prepared%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cready%20meals%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cprocessed%20foods%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpre%20-%20processed%20foods%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cready%20-%20to%20-%20cook%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cprocessed%20food%3B%2Cc0

Da Nang

Thank you for your valuable comments. I have a doubt here. You have mentioned about lack of exercise in the introduction.

I want to ask you that isn’t that a new idea which might be not relevant to the question?

I might be wrong, but I would like you, or anyone else could help me with this.

Thank you friends

Jigna

Good point. However poor diet does not always automatically lead to obesity: it may lead to being under-weight, or a variety of other diet-deficiency related diseases such as scurvy, rickets, dysentery, and so on. That's why I tossed in 'lack of exercise'. Incidentally, at the start of the 21st century, approximately 20,000 people, the majority of them children, died each day from under-nutrition and related diseases that could have been prevented.

Perhaps more focus on what exactly is meant by 'processed food', and on the industrialization of cooking. For example, flour is in some sense 'processed food'; it has been milled and ground, and people have been eating it for thousands of years. So what is new and different?

I'll leave this for you to ponder.

Da Nang

You are correct.

According to me, not all processed foods are unhealthy. Milk, yogurt, and flour as you mentioned before are some examples that are minimally and/or mechanically processed can be a part of a healthy diet.

However, most of the quick meals are highly processed and contain a high amount of sugar, salt, sodium, and preservatives. These options have been linked to obesity and other health issues such as cancer, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

But the problem is I do not want to mention about minimally processed options. I want a simple essay which talks about the harmful effects of the processed meal.

What are your suggestions in terms of writing a simple and clear progressive essay?

Jigna

Change "According to me" to "In my view" and start with what you have written above from "not all processed foods are unhealthy ... high blood pressure and heart disease." And talk about "highly processed food" from then on.

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