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Saturday, April 06, 2019

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Yes, sir basic is important. In cricket too we do net practice much to learn. If basic right, other comes nicely. Thanks you sir!

Very True. It is essential to minimize mistakes first and then learn something new to impress the examiner.

Thank you Simon for the wonderful site.

Hello Friends,
I appreciated if anyone provides comments on my essay. Thank you
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In many cities, people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
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It is true that many people are spending their life alone. There are many reasons why they choose the solitary lifestyle, and in my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects.
There are two most important reasons why people choose to live alone. The first reason is freedom. Those who want to live alone have an idea of living by themselves and experiencing daily challenges. Tackling those problems allow them to become independent as an individual and will help them to grow mentally and psychologically strong. The other reason which leads to a lonely life is the focus. Many people who have a goal which needs a complete dedication choose to live single to focus on their target. My cousin sister, for instance, who wanted to become a musician lived alone away from family to pursue her career in music.
On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. One can learn from mistakes and develop confidence and never again be worried if the same challenge will come in the future. The experience will help to tackle the troublesome situation more confidently. On the other hand, isolation from the social group can sometimes lead to stress and anxiety. In many cases, people who are living alone have found suffering from mental health issues. It is also true that a lonely life might be annoying and the alone person sometimes died early due to boredom.
In conclusion, people who live alone for different reasons might not always found the single life as a good outcome.

Sorry friends,

Now it is easy to identify each paragraph. I appreciated if you help me improve.

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In many cities, people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
-----------------------------------------------------
It is true that many people are spending their life alone. There are many reasons why they choose the solitary lifestyle, and in my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects.

There are two most important reasons why people choose to live alone. The first reason is freedom. Those who want to live alone have an idea of living by themselves and experiencing daily challenges. Tackling those problems allow them to become independent as an individual and will help them to grow mentally and psychologically strong. The other reason which leads to a lonely life is the focus. Many people who have a goal which needs a complete dedication choose to live single to focus on their target. My cousin sister, for instance, who wanted to become a musician lived alone away from family to pursue her career in music.

On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. One can learn from mistakes and develop confidence and never again be worried if the same challenge will come in the future. The experience will help to tackle the troublesome situation more confidently. On the other hand, isolation from the social group can sometimes lead to stress and anxiety. In many cases, people who are living alone have found suffering from mental health issues. It is also true that a lonely life might be annoying and the alone person sometimes died early due to boredom.

In conclusion, people who live alone for different reasons might not always found the single life as a good outcome.

Jigna

1) I would appreciate it if you would/could help me ....

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=I+would+appreciate+it+if%2Cappreciate+it+if+you+*&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CI%20would%20appreciate%20it%20if%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20would%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20%27d%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20could%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20did%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20will%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20do%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20kept%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20can%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20and%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20were%3B%2Cc0#t1%3B%2CI%20would%20appreciate%20it%20if%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20*%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20would%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20'd%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20could%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20did%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20will%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20do%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20kept%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20can%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20and%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bappreciate%20it%20if%20you%20were%3B%2Cc0

This is a fairly formal phrase. "Please could.." would have been fine.

2) "spending their life alone", "solitary lifestyle": these suggest they have no contact with other people at all, like a hermit in the Hindu Kush. People can live alone, but have a large social life through work and outside-work activities.

3) "the solitary lifestyle": wrong article. There are many varieties of solitary lifestyle; they are choosing one of them. "The" would imply there is only one under discussion.

4) "and experiencing daily challenges": are you implying that people who do not live alone do not have daily challenges? And that people who live in families or with friends do not become strong? Or do you mean self-reliant?

5) "a lonely life": this is an emotional state, not the same as the topic "living alone", which is a physical state. Yes, one can lead to the other sometimes, but this has not been stated. Also, one can feel lonely in a crowd or when living with family or flatmates.

6) "to live single": this means either not married or not involved in a romantic relationship. One can live single, and still be physically living with friends or family.

7) Consider adding a final sentence to the second paragraph to wrap up this part of your argument and relate it back to the question.
Actually, your argument is twofold: living alone makes you stronger, and it may help you achieve your goals.

8) "if the same challenge will come in the future." Usually present simple in this clause.

9) "the troublesome situation": article error.

10) " people who are living alone have found suffering": people living alone have been found to suffer ...

11) "a lonely life might be annoying": how so? Please explain why.

12) "the alone person": 'alone' cannot precede the noun cf: standalone project. the person living alone

13) "died": why past?

14) "died early due to boredom.": please explain how this works. I've been bored sometimes so why aren't I dead yet.

15) might not always found : grammar !

16) "the single life": unmarried?

Need to distinguish clearly between "solitude", "loneliness", and living alone.

Also consider the criteria for positive/negative:
a) mental health
b) cost
c) freedom from parental restrictions
d) impact on society as a whole if many people live alone: extra housing, more people spending free time in social activities.
e) ability to pursue a job involving travel or remote location.

While some people may enjoy travelling extensively on business, others find being away from friends and stuck in some blank hotel room is not to their taste.

Thank you Khe for your valuable comments.

I guess I need to think very specific and more relevant ideas for every IELTS questions.

Thank you again.

@ Jigna, Dear, I've read your essay for once and then try to write using your concept but somewhat different way.......

anyone can help with corrections. it's a bit longer.


In many cities, people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

It has been seen that many people are living alone in the major cities in the world for several reasons. The two obvious causes of being alone are freedom and focus on contents. I personally believe that loneliness brings both positive and negative consequences in human lives.

To start with, in this industrialized era, ample people use to live in solitary to avoid social pressure and individual responsibilities. Freedom is one of the reasons for isolation because people have the tendency to feel independent to express their inner thoughts and expectations which means they are no longer rely on others or barred by any intervention. Another important thing is to focus on the goal and to be attentive to their personal aspects. Students, for example, especially university students intend to be alone and live far away from home to be more productive and spend time studying hard to secure a successful career and in this case, focusing on contents is very crucial. It is thought that lonely people can learn from their mistakes and able to take repeated challenges with great optimism. Lastly, people now in the city area are living in the form of small family to keep pace with limited income and high expense.

Being alone teaches people to become more confident and prefers not to be afraid of failure, as well as to be more confident, enthusiastic and endure to their failures. This intention to stay alone could bring enormous achievements and joy in later life without any hesitations. Young people can easily be influenced by the successful lonely people and eventually, this passion create plenty of genius in the society.

Despite these positive outcomes of being alone, there are still some ferocious impacts that are being carried by the state of loneliness, are basically anxiety and frustration. Also, people may suffer from psychological and mental disorders when they live in solitary for more than a while. Finally, family bonding and mutual understanding could be hampered by the effect of being lonely.

To conclude, stay alone might not always bring happiness and success in one’s life, if so, people should take into account both the pros and cons of loneliness with an unbiased view.


Akter

1) "It has been seen that": redundant

2) -> major cities of the world

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+major+cities+*%2Cthe+major+cities+of+*%2Cthe+major+cities+in+*%2Cmajor+cities+of+the+*&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=

3) "The two obvious causes of being alone are": "reasons for" might be a better fit.

4) "focus on contents": "contents" in the context of living would mean furniture, appliances, drapes, electronic, musical and sports gear, house contents in general. ?????

5) Loneliness is a negative experience: solitude is more neutral (or positive).

6) "Ample people": ambiguous; it might mean near-overweight people.

7) Some people are accustomed/used to living.

8) "In solitary: usually refers to time in solitary confinement in prison.

9) "Isolation": often used in the context of hospital/medical isolation to prevent the spread of contagious or infectious disease such as Ebola. -> social isolation

10) -> people are better able to get in touch with their inner thoughts and feelings ??

11) -> forestalled/prevented by any outside interference ??

12) "thing": objective? factor? "Thing" betrays a lack of accurate vocabulary.

13) -> to their personal needs??

14) -> absolutely crucial: non gradable.

Akter

15) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_VERB+repeated+challenges&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_VERB%20repeated%20challenges%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bfaced_VERB%20repeated%20challenges%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bface_VERB%20repeated%20challenges%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsurvived_VERB%20repeated%20challenges%3B%2Cc0

16) " living in the form of small family ": flat-sharing

17) -> people on limited incomes are flat-sharing to cope with rising expenses.

18) "Being alone .... prefers": ?? incoherent.

19) "endure to their failures."

20) -> without any hesitation [singular]. Odd meaning in this context.

21) "by the successful lonely people " : why the article?

22) "this passion create": singular/plural?

23) "in the society.": which society? No article if generalizing.

24) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADJ+impacts&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Benvironmental_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bnegative_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Beconomic_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badverse_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsocial_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpotential_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsignificant_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpositive_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmajor_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhuman_ADJ%20impacts%3B%2Cc0

25) "impacts that are being carried by": impacts involved in

26) "there are still some ferocious impacts ... are basically anxiety": incoherent grammar: two verbs.

27) -> could suffer as a consequence of feeling lonely.

28) -> staying alone might not always bring

29) "life, if so": comma splice

30) "pros and cons of ... with an unbiased view": obvious pre-memorized portable phrases.

I understand that this was an attempt to up the vocabulary level, but, as is often the case, the end result is that it tends to point up how much more there is to learn!

@Gabi

Thanks for your proper checking. The corrections that you have indicated are very useful and I have learned something new. Basically, Loneliness can never fit this essay and some other words and phrases. I have no idea that this essay does worth even 6 overall. By the way, you are always welcome to check my writing, Gabi.

Akter

Although your essay has several grammar and punctuation mistakes, my guess is that it would meet the criteria for Band 6. To improve, I would suggest reading around the topic. For instance:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201808/how-people-who-live-alone-conquered-loneliness

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/05/living-alone-single-person-households-uk

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/homed/living/105534276/forget-the-stigma-living-alone-is-actually-better-for-you

http://archive.stats.govt.nz/browse_for_stats/people_and_communities/Well-being/social-connectedness/social-networks/living-alone/social-advantage-disadvantage.aspx

Familiarize yourself with relevant ideas, and vocabulary!

Thx so much for your help! I've been trying so hard to get band7 on writing, but unfortunately I got band6. 5 several times. Had I known about this website and Simon, I would probably have passed the test. I'll take the exam next month in Shanghai, and I hope I can get band7 on writing!

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