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Wednesday, March 13, 2019

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Hi, please check my introduction.

Que: Some people think that success is the best measure for Intelligence, While others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways.
WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

Ans: Introduction

Many people sometimes have contrasting views about how a person's intelligence should be measured. While I agree that success is essential, I believe that other types of measurement are just as important.

Please correct my introduction.

https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2019/02/ielts-writing-task-2-choices-plan.html

In this post, you mentioned....... " I hope you can read my handwriting!"

does bad handwriting affects writing tasks in a bad way......???

Dear Simon,
Heaps of thanks for your decent writings and useful tips .What do you think of essays in www.ieltsessentials.com .Many essays on this website are different from the essays you have written here in terms of vocabularies which are often seen in newspaper and English texts which are difficult. What do you mean exactly by less common vocabularies in task 2? one essay I send here from that website.please take a look at it and provide us with the tips you think can help us to not get confused in this regard.
Regards

IELTS Writing Task 2:
For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay Plan:

 Introduction: (1) refer to the task question (2) my opinion – teachers have more influence on intelligence, parents have more influence on social development

 Paragraph 2: (1) teachers are trained to impart knowledge to children and stimulate their intelligence – example – dedicated teachers who inspire youngsters (2) parents may play a supporting role

 Paragraph 3: parents have more influence than teachers on the social development of their children. (1) parents spend more time with their children than children spend in school (2) parents can be role models for their children in a wide range of social situations – give examples

 Conclusion: re-state opinion given in the introduction, paraphrasing some words.

Model Essay:

It is true that school children are at an impressionable age, and two strong influences on their intelligence and social development are teachers and parents. While I accept that teachers may have more influence on the intelligence of their pupils, I would argue that parents probably exert a greater influence on the social development of their children.

In terms of encouraging the intellectual development and stimulating the intelligence of school children, I believe that teachers play the major role. While not all teachers are capable of inspiring their students, they are trained to impart their knowledge of their subject areas in challenging and imaginative ways. For example, some students owe their lifelong love of a subject to dedicated teachers who taught this discipline in secondary school. Of course, at home parents may also reinforce this passion by encouraging study habits during the formative years of their children. Such support is vital for academic achievement.

From the perspective of social development, I think that parents are mainly responsible for guiding their children. Firstly, they spend far more time with their children than any individual teacher is able to do. They can therefore monitor the activities of children outside school hours, at weekends and during holidays. Secondly, parents are able to provide role models in a whole range of situations. These might include showing respect towards elders, choice of friends, or proper behaviour in public when eating out in restaurants.

In conclusion, although teachers probably have a greater effect in stimulating the intelligence of school children, parental influences on the development of children are stronger in social situations.

Hi Simon,

Is it ok to write one sentence in my conclusion? Or should I avoid a one-sentence paragraph?

Hi simon,
i have read your essay plan last Feb. 20, 2019 on this topic. I like how you do it. Do you have a lesson regarding essay planning on this blog? I would like to learn about this too. Thank you so much for your time.

Hi Simon,
i wanna ask you a simple question which confues me everytime when i want to wirte task2. well, i always change my words or sentence pattern, because i donot know which is more appropriate or correct.(it really took me a lot of time!!) and my ideas always be mess....Should i see more sample essay?... Many thanks for your replying!

Simon, Can I have a question which has made me so confused.
Do I have to you only 1 idea for each paragraph, which is so different from the previous one with 2 or 3 ideas for each.
Can you answer my question. I feel so appreciated when hearing the response from you.

Hi Simon.how can I improve my writing, reading, listening, I'm very weak in IELTS.. please help me

MD.Muktadir Ahmad Juned

In English "MD" is used after the name to indicate a medical doctor. It does not stand for 'Mohammad/Muhammad'.

Unfortunately Mr Simon does not have a magic wand for 'instant IELTS', but you can click on the left-hand sidebar on this web-page and work through all the free material he has so graciously provided. If you wish to improve, it is up to you to spend at least three hours per day working at it. Work out your plan, and allocate the time, and stick to it for at least six months.

Hi everyone.

I haven't studied for three months... however, I decided to keep continue my journey. I picked new phrase from this essay.
Have a lovely day;)

dramatic expansion
online media option
countless website.
many of which are free.
this abundance of media
average users
we have to make so many decisions about the content
a personal example of this trend.
thousands of films and series.
Alongside the influence of internet.
we no longer have the limited.
the increasing tendency for
the same is true.
oversea study seems appealing.
this is often more bewildering than beneficial.

In the second body paragraph,I did not understand the meaning of compounding this problem of too much choices.What does it mean?

Hi Simon,
Why don't you use the word "technology" instead of "internet"?
Thanks.

Hi Simon
In this essay it seems you gave your opinion and also stated the effects I.e "it is more bewildering than beneficial".Did the question demand that also? Thanks

Hi Simon
why do you use a personal example here?

Hi Simon,

Could you check my essay for me please?
The same title as the one in this thread.

Modern people seem to be in the dilemma of encountering too many choices. I think despite the inconveniences it sometimes might bring, the overall benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

It is recognized that modern society has presented us with many options in terms of which school we go to, which job we take, and even which destination we choose for vacation. Because we live in a world full of diversity, we are facing countless choices every day. Sometimes this inevitably brings us the fear of making decisions because we are afraid to make the wrong decision. It seems that we might miss out some great opportunities if we have not found the most optimized solution, which as a result, leading to modern people suffer from pressure and distress.

However, despite the pressure we face, modern society provides us with valuable opportunities. Firstly, we have the personal freedom to choose what is the best for our lives. Unlike people from decades ago who can only obey their parents for marriage arrangement, we get to pick the ones we like to live with. As kids, we can choose from all the subjects and study the subject that interests us. Our future career also lies in our own hand. To do things we love and see all the options in front of us is the best way to ensure personal happiness. Secondly, a better way to deal with choice distress is to listen to your heart rather than eliminating potential choices for others. There is nothing negative about having to decide your wedding destinations among 50 countries. It is however, a blessing that have allowed us with enough freedom and wealth to face such situation.

In conclusion, modern life is all about making choices. Maybe it poses pressure onto us but personally I think having many options open is a blessing which we need to learn to appreciate.

Hi Simon, thanks for your sample essay. Though it is clear from your introduction paragraph that you completely agree with this statement, I felt that you were going to discuss the reasons behind this fact when you wrote "I believe that the Internet and globalisation are the two major factors involved". When reading this part of your conclusion "and this is often more bewildering than beneficial", for a second I thought the question was whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

I, as an IELTS exam taker, would not dare write like this in a real exam because I am worried about being marked down in task response. I wonder whether you agree with me in this aspect.

Below is my answer to this question, and I hope to see how you think about it.

Many people today claim that our lives have never been more convenient and that we have many more choices than the previous generations did. While I agree with them that we do have more choices when it comes to the things we buy, I do not believe that most of us are free to decide how we spend our time.

It is true that consumers of the 21st century have easy access to a great many options.Thanks to the rise of low-cost airlines, common people can easily travel to the other side of the planet for an exotic vacation at a fraction of the price that passengers used to pay twenty years ago. Similarly, because of the existence of fast-fashion companies like Zara, new designs are available to fashion chasers every two weeks at affordable prices. The technology world is no different; mobile phones of improved features are released every few weeks.

However, that is not to say people in the modern world have as many options in other aspects of life. One sad truth is that the majority of working-age adults who are physically and mentally capable of working have no choice but to work full time to support themselves and their families. One major reason for this is that living costs have gone up substantially in most parts of the world. For example, it takes young couples many years to save up for a downpayment for a house today whereas buying a house was not so financially-challenging a few decades ago. At the same time, it is becoming increasingly expensive to raise children. As young parents struggle to pay off their own debts, they have to plan to save for their children’s education. Consequently, while women traditionally stayed at home to take care of their households and children, they are now forced to take on full-time jobs in order to have a comfortable life. Meanwhile, a large number of senior citizens today have to continue working so that their living standards would not fall significantly.

It is therefore safe to conclude that most people in this day and age cannot afford to spend their time however they may want, but this is surely compensated by the abundant choices they have in how to spend their money.

Dear Simon,

Why do you use “the” in this sentence when two factors have not been mentioned before?
“I completely agree with this, and I believe that the Internet and globalisation are THE two major factors involved.”
If I don’t use “the” here, will it be wrong and lower my band?

Thank you in advance.

Why do you use “too much choice” here instead of “too many choices”?
“Alongside the influence of the Internet, globalisation is making the world smaller and compounding this problem of too much choice.”
Thank you.

Ha,

1) If you miss "the", the meaning changes. You will then imply that Internet and globalisation are two major factors but that there are other major factors too. i.e. they are just two of the many major factors.

By adding "the", I'm saying that they are THE ONLY major factors.

2) "Choice" can be countable or uncountable, so I'm showing "flexible use of vocabulary" by using both. Most people don't notice things like this!

Hi Simon
I have noticed that you used personal examples in several writings. Is it okay to use personal life experiences for 7~9 bands?

Thanks

hi simon,

for this writing I wrote in a way that these days we have many choices but government and big companies manipulate people to use specific part of them..
is that right?

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