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Thursday, January 17, 2019

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S.o could help me check my intro and overview, please! Thank you in advance :)

The bar charts illustrate the gender distribution of people attending physical activities frequently among six different ages group in Australia.

It is clear that men living in Australia were more active than women almost at all age groups. Also, While males tended to do physical activities more regularly when they got older, the reverse trend can be seen in their female counterparts.

This is my try. I made it a bit longer than what exam requires to make practice. I hope there are not so many glaring errors (this is my first attempt).
----------------------
The chart illustrates the gender distribution of Australian people used to physical activity for different age cohorts in 2010.
Overall, we can observe that men percentage vary within around 40%, as concerning for 35-44 group, and nearly 53% for the youngest one; females, instead, show the lowest rate at roughly 47% in the elderly (over 65s) and reach a peak of slightly more than 53% in the 45-54 range.
As the illustration suggests, different gender trends are noticeably. While men doing physical activity percentage drops suddenly after 24 by just over than 10%, females' one increases, even if by just over 1%. Whilst this tendency is confirmed for the following age cohort too, after 44 year men percentage exhibits a gradually rise, meanwhile females remain steadily at around 53% to diminish by just below than 3% for 65 and overs.
To conclude, starting from a situation where men are at prevalence in 15-24, rates appear almost the same in the oldest group. Remarkable gaps where females overcome men can be seen in the other cohorts, which the lowest one is in the 35-44 (exactly 3%) and the greatest in 45-54 (little more than 10%).

Dan

1) The chart shows not merely a distribution but specifically percentages: not percentages of the nation as a whole, but percentages of each particular age/gender cohort.

2) The chart heading states "doing regular physical activity": this might include physical laboring and work, and also jogging swimming at the beach. "Attending" implies a particular location or course, and thus is inaccurate.

3) age[not plural] groups[plural] in Australia.

mascherado

Your report is missing the overview, and so your score for Task Achievement will be Band 5.

I suggest you either follow the process here, or check back through previous examples by clicking on the sidebar marked Writing Task 1.

hi simon

ı really dont know where ı will start in writing

what should ı do first study?

I got 5.5 in my ielts writing twice. This is my introduction and Overall and I need 6.5:)

The bar chart compares the proportion of male and female from Australia who did physical exercise regularly in the year 2010.

Overall, nearly half of the Australian people attend physical activity regularly in their lifetime, and it is also noticeable that women tend to do more exercise than men on average.

Wanda

Thank you a lot, Wanda!

Hi, everybody!
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australians by gender and six age groups who did physical activity regularly in the year of 2010.

Overall,it can be seen that around the half of Australian men and women participated in regular physical activity in the represented year. In addition, women under 25 years old did such activity more then men totally.

This is my attempt.
Thanks for your help, in advance.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of two genders in various age groups who participated in exercises in the year 2010 in Australia.

Overall, it is clear that more women took part in physical activity than men in most age groups. However, in the age group of 15 to 24, there were more number of men participated in physical activity than that of women at 52.8% and 47.7%, respectively.

Among women, the percentage of female grew as their age get older which made the age group of 45 to 54 the highest participation rate for 53.3%. However, there was a sharp drop of the proportion from 53% to 47.1% from the age group of 55 to 65 and over.

In contrast, among men, the percentages of their physical activity in all age groups were under 50%. Also, the proportion of their participation continuously dropped from the age of 15 to 44, at 52.8% to 39.5%, respectively which made the 39.5% is the lowest their rate. However, their participation percentage rose back up from the age of 45 to 65 and over, at 43.1% to 46.7% in that order.

1) We cannot provide an arithmetical average as the number of individuals in each category is not the same, so the best option is to state a range: ... varied between (lowest) percent and (highest) per cent.

2) The percentage for women is generally higher, except for the youngest age bracket.

3) The percentage for men is less consistent across the age cohorts, and, in the 35-44 age group, has the lowest participation level of all.

This is my answer:
In 2010, Australian gender did approximately over 39% regular physical activity.
The chart shows the figure for Australian men did more regular physical activity than women only in 15 to 24 age group.
Australian men did regular physical activity the same with women only in 65 and over age group.

Please comment and criticise and correct mistakes. Thanks


The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australians by gender and six age groups who did physical activity systematically in the year of 2010.

Overall,it can be seen that around the half of Australian men and women participated in regular physical activity in the represented year. In addition, women under 25 years old did such activity more then men totally.

According to the data, the percentage of men aged from 15 to 24 consisted of just under 50%. Other age groups of men represented percent up to 46.7 from 39.5 as minimum for the middle age group of male between 35 and 44 years old.

In comparison, the percent of Australian women who took place in physical activity in regular order fluctuated around 50%. The majority of female respondents involved in such activity were from 35 up to 64 years old of proximately 53%. The proportion of other age groups was between 47.1% as minimum for elder women and 48,9%.

Sorry must be
According to the data, the percentage of men aged from 15 to 24 consisted of just OVER 50%.

This is my essay, I really appreciate if someone could check my words. Thank you

The bar chart compares the proportion of people in both genders doing physical activity regularly by six age groups in Australia in the year 2010.

It is noticeable that more than third of Australian in all age groups frequently taking physical activity. Also, males were more likely to do such activities than their female counterparts for the majority of age cohorts.

According to the chart, 52,8% of women aged 15 to 24 were regularly taking physical activity; this was the highest figure for female compared with any particular age groups. In contrast, the lowest figure was for women who were from 35 to 44-year- old, at 39,5 %. In "25 to 34", "45 to 54" and "65 and over" cohorts, The percentage of females doing regular physical activities was roughly between 42,2% and 46,7%.

Looking into the figures for males, More than half of men who aged from 35 to 64 was physically active in regular intervals. There was only a slightly different figure for men in three other age groups. In the elderly cohort, Both genders had almost the same percentage of physically active people at about 47%.

Male=men=gray scale
Female=women=black scale

Aleksandra

https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2015/05/ielts-writing-task-1-using-in-terms-of.html

"In the year of" is over-dramatic.

-> The bar graph shows the percentages of Australians who regularly engaged in physical activity in 2010. The results are divided by gender, and into six age brackets, each covering a decade, from age fifteen up.

Overall,it can be seen that around the half of Australian men and women participated in regular physical activity.
-> Generally, women exercised more than men, except in the 15-24 age cohort. Men, however, exercised significantly more than women in the middle four age groups covering the ages from 25 to 64.

in the represented year No need to repeat: the information is in the introduction.

The detail section will need to be rewritten to provide the underlying figures to support the assertions in the overview.

The bar chart gives information about the participation of regular exercise based on sex and age in Australia in 2010.
It can be clearly seen that more than 40% of men and women in all age groups do exercise regularly in Australia. In addition, in all the age groups, the number of women who participated in regular physical activities are more than men except the first age group (15 to 24).
Looking at the chart in more detail, it is evident that regular exercise attendance for men aged 15 to 24 was 52.8 %, and that of women in the same age group was 47.7%. This figure for men in the 25 to 34 age group dramatically decreased to 42.2%, and this downward trend continued to 39.5% for men aged 35 to 44, which is the lowest figure in the chart. In contrast, the number of women who did regular exercise experienced a gradual upward trend to 52.5% for the 35 to 44 age group.
Turning to the remaining data sets, the attendance of men to regular exercise in the 55 to 64 age group showed an increase of about 15 % from the men aged 35 to 44. However, the number of women who worked out remained the same at roughly 53% in 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 age group. Finally, approximately the same percentage of men and women aged 65 and over participated in the regular exercise at 47%.

Hi
I try writing1 here for the first time

It seemd to be odd or not good but I get brave ^^

The chart provides information regarding Australian men and wemen doing regular activity among 6 different age gruots in 2010.
In terms of men, the rate of the age group of 15 to 24 recorded 52.8% which was the highest, followed by the age group of 25 to 34 with 42.2% and the age group of 35 to 44 with 39.5% as the lowest value. And then, there was a gradual increasing trend to 46.7% in the age group of 65 and over.
Turning to women, the percentage of the age group of 15 to 24 was 47.4% and then the rate of women doing regular physical activity experienced a slight rise to 53.3% in the age group of 45 to 54. However, there was a very slight drop to 53% in the age group of 55 to 64, followed by a comparatively steep fall with 47% which was the lowest in the age group of 65 and over.
Interestingly, more men did regular physical activity than women just in the age group of 15 to 24 and the smallest difference between men and women appeared in the age group of 65 and over.
Overall, the rate of most age groups except 15 to 24 age group was below 50% in men, while the percentage of all groups in women leveled out near 50%.

The bar char represent the data in terms of proportion of exercise attendees for both females and males through 6 different age groups in Australia in 2010.

It is noticeable that the percentage of physical activity vary widely in each gender groups. Comparatively, over 24-year-old, every females group outraced the ratio of men in 2010.In contrary to this, youngest group, 15-24 , was in favor of males.

Here is my answers
    1. It is clear from the bar chart that around a half of Australian did exercise regularly in 2010.

    2. Overall, the number of men was greater than that of women in most of age groups.

    3. As can be seen from the chart, age groups falling between 25 and 64 obviously refered to more physical activity than the others.

This is my attempt.
Thanks for your help, in advance.

The bar chart provides information about the proportions of Australian’s people who systematically exercise in both genders by age groups in the year 2010.

Overall, it is clear that regularly have had physical activity around half of Australian’s people in the different ages of groups. It had seen that women tend to have exercised more than men in the almost entire groups, just group of the males under 25 years overstepped the females.

Looking at the diagram, we can see that the lowest part of males attended the regular exercises, 39.5%, in the group between 35 and 45 years. While the most significant number of men, 52.8%, had physical activity until 25 years. In 2010, the proportion of men who did the sport experienced a downward trend until 39.5%, in the older groups increased slightly to 46.7%.

In comparison to males, the females groups between 35 to 65 years have shown the most significant contribution to their health by doing exercises and have reached above 50% in these groups. Only one group that is older than 65 years of Australian’s people in both genders: females and males, received quite the same number of percentages such as 47.1 and 46.7 respectively.

Overall, around 40% to 60% men and women doing regular physical activity regardless of age. It was noticeable that except for those who are younger than 24, female Australian are more enthusiastic about doing sports than men. Among all, middle aged group of men had seen the lowest percentage of doing regular physical activities.

It is clear that only 15to24 age group male did more regular exercise than female but above than 25 age all women did more physical activity on the daily base than men.

This is my attempt.
Thanks for your help

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females in Australia who frequently do exercise in 2010.

Overall, more than 40% of people in both genders have physical activity in all of age groups. Also,it can be seen that the bigger number of women participate in those activities than male.

Dan
[]
The bar chart compares the proportion of Australian men and women doing physical activity regularly by gender and age group in the year 2010. There are six age groups, each covering a decade, starting from fifteen up.

It is noticeable that more than third of Australian in all age groups frequently [Where does it say frequent? Regularly could mean once a month.] taking [needs a finite verb form] physical activity. Also, males were more likely to do such activities than their female counterparts for the majority of age cohorts.

[In English speaking countries, the decimal point is a full-stop or period.]
According to the chart,[superfluous] 52,8% of women aged 15 to 24 were regularly taking physical activity; this was the highest figure for female[just one?] compared with any particular [Other?]age groups[why plural]. In contrast, the lowest figure was for women[No it was not!] who were from 35 to 44-year- old, at 39,5 %. In "25 to 34", "45 to 54" and "65 and over" cohorts, The [Capitalization issue]percentage of females doing regular physical activities was roughly between 42,2% and 46,7%.

Looking into [at] the figures for males, More[Capitalization issue] than half of men who aged from 35 to 64 was[->plural] physically active in [wrong preposition]regular intervals. There was only a slightly different figure for men in three other age groups. In the elderly cohort, Both[captialization] genders had almost the same percentage of physically active people at about 47%.

Nam

1) "Exercise" is also a verb: better than 'did' exercise.

2. The figures are percentages. Nowhere are the actual numbers shown. For all we know, the number of men could be a tenth of the number of women.

3. As can be seen from the chart, [superfluous]
age groups falling between 25 and 64 obviously refered to [poor word choice and spelling] more physical activity than the others.

Lucy Yoo:

Where is the overview?
[]
Hakan:

The bar char [a barbeque?] represent the data in terms of [easier just to use 'shows'] proportion of exercise attendees [hot a phrase appearing on Google books] for both females and males through 6 [six] different age groups in Australia in 2010.

It is noticeable that the percentage of physical activity vary[singular/plural?] widely in each gender groups[singular/plural?]. Comparatively, over 24-year-old,[for those over 24] every females[singular/plural?] group outraced[poor word choice: too dramatic] the ratio of men in 2010.In contrary to this,[not a phrase on Google books] youngest group, 15-24 , was in favor of[wrong prepositional phrase] males.

Dear Simon
Here's my answer

1. Just under half of all Australians exercised on regular bases in the year 2010.
2. More women than men did regular exercise in most of the age groups, and males were less active than females.
3. The elderly females aged 65 and over were less active among women of different age groups, while males between their mid-thirties and mid-forties were the least active among all Australians.

Thank you for your amazing blog Simon
Best wishes for you in new year

Little revision

1. Just under half of all Australians exercised on regular bases in the year 2010.
2. More women than men did regular exercise in most of the age groups, and males were less active than their female counterparts.
3. The elderly females, aged 65 and over, were less active among women of different age groups, while males between their mid-thirties and mid-forties were the least active people among all Australians.

Zara

Thank Zara a lot! It's beneficial! I truly appreciate it

"do/did exercise regularly" is rare on Google Books.
"take/took regular exercise" is far more common.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=exercised+regularly%2Cdo+exercise+regularly%2Cregular+physical+activity%2C*_VERB+physical+activity%2Ctake+exercise+regularly%2Ctook+regular+exercise%2Ctake+regular+exercise%2C&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cexercised%20regularly%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cdo%20exercise%20regularly%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cregular%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bincreased_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bincreasing_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdecreased_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bincrease_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breduced_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpromote_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BIncreased_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpromoting_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badapted_VERB%20physical%20activity%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctake%20exercise%20regularly%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctook%20regular%20exercise%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctake%20regular%20exercise%3B%2Cc0

The bar chart compares the proportion of male and female from six age groups doing physical exercise frequently in Australia in the year 2010.
It is clear that around half of Australian people in all age groups shown did regular physical activity. Overall, there were more women taking part in such activities than men in all six categories.

1. The average percentage of the Australians who took physical exercises regularly was about 50% in 2010.

2. The tendency of doing physical activities of men having different age groups in Australia fell slowly on the other hand, for women, we see a gradual increase for the same age groups by the year 2010.

3. The is a considerable change that we notice for the age group 65 and over, where both males as well as females showed less interest in attending in physical activity.

This is my full essay, I really appreciate if someone could check my words.
And thank you Simon for your incredible website!!

The bar chart compares the proportion of male and female from six age groups doing physical exercise frequently in Australia in the year 2010.

It is clear that around half of Australian people in all age groups exercised on regular bases in the year 2010. Overall, there were more women taking part in doing physical activity than men in most of all six categories.

Looking at more closely to the bar chart, the Australian males aged 15 to 24 were the most active in doing exercise among man of different age groups, accounted for 52.8%. By contrast, the man respondents involved such activities were from 25 up to 44 years old, with only 40.8% averagely. A stable increase in the proportion of other male age groups reflects that more men did regular physical activity when they got older.

At the other end of gender, the younger and older women from six age categories were the least active in doing exercise frequently, with just over 47%. The majority of the female between 35 to 65 years old have shown the most significant contribution to their health, with an average of 53%, followed by women aged 25 to 35, with 48.9%.

But I want to describe two things in the overview paragraph.

1. More women than men pay attention to their body management among all six age groups.
2. The largest gap between the figures for men and women stood at the category of 45 to 54.

Claire

The largest gap was in the 35-44 age group.

Tom:
-> on a regular basis
-> engaging in regular physical activity
-> in all but one of the six age cohorts

->Looking at more closely at the bar chart,
-> taking exercise
-> accounting for
-> male respondents
-> on average
-> a steady increase

-> The majority of females

Correction: looking at the bar chart more closely

The given bar graph illustrates the proportion of active Australian males and females who workout on a daily basis in the year 2010.

Overall,the level of activity in men, as the age advances showed an initial upward trend followed by a slight drop .In contrast, females show a small fall in the activity level followed by a gradual rise as they age.Throughout the period,males seemed to be more actively involved than the females.

This is my essay. Hope someone would take a look and leave a comment. Thanks

The chart illustrates the proportion of Australians who engaged in physical exercises regularly by gender and six age groups in 2010.

Looking at the chart, it is clearly evident that women tended to do exercise more than men except for the youth group. In addition, the largest number of people exercising was recorded for women aged 45 to 54. By contrast, men aged 35 to 44 registered the least number of individuals exercising.

In the adolescent group, the number of men taking exercises accounted for a proportion at 52.8%. Meanwhile, females made up a bit smaller proportion at 47.7%. An opposite allocation can be seen in four other age groups from people aged 25 to 34 to individuals aged 55 to 64, with the number of males taking exercises accounted for around 40%, while the number of women doing physical activities most made up more than half, except for women aged 25 to 34 which constituted a proportion at 48.9%.

Comparatively, the distribution of the senior citizens taking exercises was rather uniform. In particular, the number of men doing exercises comprised a proportion at 46.7%. The figure for females was only slightly higher at 47.1% of the total women.

Mkhan
1) As an adjective "given" usually comes directly after the noun.

2) "Regular" might mean two or three times a week: it does not necessarily mean on a daily basis.

3) "Physical activity" might just mean a round of golf and does not necessarily mean a "workout", which implies strenuous exercise.

Cuong Vu

1) ->engaged in physical exercise: https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/exercise

2) "Looking at the chart": superfluous.

3) "clearly evident": tautology, plus the whole phrase is superfluous.

4) to do exercise -> to exercise

5) for the youth group: how old are they?

6) "registered": nice verb !

7) "the adolescent group": how old are they?
It is certainly a good idea to use your own labels, but they must be explained first. People over 18 or 21 (depending on the jurisdiction) are considered adults, so "adolescent" is not correct for 21-24 year olds. Equally, "young adults" would be wrong as 15-17 year olds are not adults. I could not find any good labels for the age cohorts, so rejected the idea of using them. Phrases such as "twenty-something women", do come up on Google Books, but are not academic-sounding enough for Task 1, although they might be suitable for Task 2.
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=twenty+something%2Cthirty+something%2Cforty+something%2C+fifty+something&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ctwenty%20something%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthirty%20something%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cforty%20something%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cfifty%20something%3B%2Cc0

8) the number of men taking exercises [use singular here] accounted for [delete:a proportion at] 52.8%.

9) a bit: this is informal.

10) with the number of males taking exercises accounting for

11) women aged 25 to 34 which (who) constituted [delete:a proportion at] 48.9%. ...comprised [a proportion at] 46.7%

12) Comparatively, -> In contrast,

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=registered+*+growth%2Cregistered+a+*+decline%2Cregistered+a+10+percent&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cregistered%20%2A%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20negative%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20high%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20positive%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20significant%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20higher%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20impressive%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20substantial%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20rapid%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20phenomenal%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cregistered%20a%20%2A%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20sharp%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20slight%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20marked%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20significant%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20steady%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20further%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20substantial%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20steep%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20small%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregistered%20a%20marginal%20decline%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cregistered%20a%2010%20percent%3B%2Cc0

Thanks cara so much

1. Overall, the average percentage of both genders doing regular exercises is around 45 per cent in 2010.
2. The greatest gender-based differences in the percentage of regular activity participation are found in age groups of 35-44 and 45-54, compared to the almost negligible difference in the 65-and-over group.
3. The highest percentage of men regularly participating in physical activities is found in middle-age groups (35-64-year-old), while the figure for women falls into a younger age bracket at 15-24.

Sorry, all the three sentences in my last post should be in past tense.

1) is ->was
2) are -> were
3) is ->was; falls ->fell

Thanks.

Thank you so much Beyonce!!

Jojo

a) "Gender-based differences" is fine: but "gender gap" might also do.

b) -> found in the 35-44 and 45-54 age groups

c) "while the figure for women": "figure" in the singular referring to one number (other than money) is not common. In academic writing it often refers to a diagram. Here it might refer to a woman's body. -> the number

See here:
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/figure

Thank you very much colette! The subtle differences between words are really hard to detect for a non-native speaker. Thanks!

this is my try


(indent)Overally, the most apparent thing which is shown in chart is that despite the start of percentage was different between two groups, in the end, two groups ended almost same percentage

and I will describe my BODY 1, 2 sections for similarities and differences

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of female and make citizens of Australia in six age groups , who exercised physically on a regular basis in 2010 . Units are measured in percentages .

Overall , it is clear that overal percentage of Australian women who engaged regular experiences were noticably higher than that of men . While the highest figure was was 45-54 aged females , the lowest one was 35-44 years old males.

Here is my writing. Hope someone can help to point out my mistakes.

Presented is a bar graph illustrating the proportion of Australian nationals of each gender cohorts in 6 age brackets who performed physical activity on a regular basis in 2010.

In general, the percentage of females engaging in physical activity consistently outnumbered that of males in most of the age categories. Moreover, approximately 40% to 50% of nationals in all age groups, regardless of their sexes, performed physical activity regularly. In addition, there was only an incremental margin between the figure of both sexes for the elderly group.

Comparing males of different ages, for the first three age groups, the figure of men gradually diminished from 52.8% to the bottom at 39.5%. Starting from age 45, the proportion of male individuals performing physical activity regularly climbed again mildly from 43.1% to 46.7%.

As for females, in the first four consecutive age groups, the figure, which increased from 47.7% to 53.3%, showed a positive relationship with age. Albeit a decline in the last two age groups, there was still a greater proportion of females than males in terms of having regular physical activity.

Here is my try

The bar chart compares Australian males and females in six age categories in terms of daily physical activity they participated
It is clear that average proportion of Australian men who did physical activity everyday outpaced that of women. Furthermore, the percentage of middle-aged men engaged in daily physical activity was highest, while the figure for female at the same age was lowest.

Hello everyone! ;)
Could someone evaluate my answer please?

Here we have a percentage chart of Australian men’ and women’ regular physical activity in different group ages in 2010. According to the information given we can see that highest percentage for men doing regular physical activity falls in the age group of 45 to 54 when for women it’s an age group of 15 to 25. Overall age groups of Australian men’s regular physical activity was not changing rapidly and never dropped below 47%. Women’s physical activity, instead, was decreasing for approximately 5% with every age group, reaching its lowest 39,5% in the age group of 35 to 44 and increasing after again, reaching its highest 46,7% in the group of 65 and over. The only time when women were doing more regular physical activity than men is in the age group of 15 to 24. Despite all the percentage and age differences mentioned above the percentage of the age group of 65 and over is almost the same for both men and women.

the look of my answer

The bar chart illustrates regular physical activity of Australian male and female in different age groups by percentagewise in the year of 2010.

Overall, male and female saw a considerable different change in the figures. While male start the period in a peak of figures, female started the figures little bit below the starting point of male. However, both of groups saw the similar percentage at the end.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian males and females in different age groups who did regular exercise in 2010.
It can be clearly seen from the chart that women are more inclined to regular physical activity compared to men except for the age group of 15 to 24. Moreover, as the age increases from 25 to 64, the increase can also be observed in the percentage of people doing exercises.

Can somebody please provide a feedback?
According to the bar chart, men who fall under the age group 15 to 24 have a higher percentage compared to women in the same age group, that is 52.8% for men and 47.7% for women. On the contrary, in the age group of 25 to 34, it is exactly the opposite of that, the percentage of women(48.9%) is higher than that of men(42.2%).
In the three age group which are 35 to 44, 45 to 54, 55 to 64, women have almost the same percentage respectively 52.5%, 53.3% and 53. A slight increase can be seen for men from first to third age group. For the group of age 65 and over, men are at 46.7% and women are at 47.1%, which is almost the same.


Hi there!
Could anyone evaluate my answer? Thanks

The given bar denotes the proportion of Australian males and females in diverse age groups who did constant physical training in 2010. A glance at the graph reveals that Australian females' activities are higher than Australian males', as they are getting older.
Australian women's percentage in doing physical activities at the age of 15-24 was 47.7% and then climbed up just under a half at the age of 25-34. This trend was gradually increased along with the age and reached the peak at the age of 45-54, which account for 53.3%. After age of 55, the females' percentage was insignificantly slumped to be 53%, and then slightly dropped around 6% at the age of 65 and over. However, this percentage was still higher than men's percentage.
At the onset, over a half of Australian males at the age of 15 to 24 did regular physical exercise. Along with the age, the proportion was decreased and reached the lowest point at the age of 35 to 44. However, the number of Australian men's proportion was gradually increased after age of 45 from 43.1% to 46.7%.
To sum up, Australian males did more regular physical activity than women when they were teenager until mid-twenties. In contrast, after mid-twenties Australian males did less constant physical activity.

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