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Thursday, November 29, 2018

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1. In 2008, nearly 8 million children participated in the football game.

2. The number of children attending in football match was approximately 7.5 million in 2008.

3. In 2008, nearly 8 million children participated in the football game.

4. The graph shows that the number of children preferred football was nearly 7.6 million.

5. In 2008, over 8 million teenage participants preferred football, which was the highest number.

Hi Simon,

1/ 3/ Nearly 8 million children participated in football in 2008.

2/ The number of children participating in football was approximately 7.5 million in 2008.

4/ The number of children who preferred football was approximately 7.6 million.

5/ In 2008, football was the highest number of young participants with over 8 million.

I try to identify this mistakes. Thanks.

arch1001face

https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22football+had+the+highest%22&num=10

1. Have participated —> participated
2. Were —> was
3. Had participated —> participated
4. The glance of the graph reveals —> the graph shows
5. Football was..... participants—> the number of teenage participants in football was the highest.

There were nearly 8 million children played football in 2008.

The number of children who attended a football match was approximately 7.5 million in 2008.

In 2008, nearly 8 million children participated in football games.

The graph shows that the number of children who love football was approximately 7.6 millions.

In 2008, football was the most popular sports for teenagers, with over 8 million.

zsófi
thanks

Nearly 8 million children have participated in the football game in 2008.

This was my answer for question 1. I suppose there is no further mistake than "Have". is it a big mistake?

Akter

Oleg provided a detailed review of your original answers further down the page here:

https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/11/ielts-writing-task-1-back-to-basics.html#comments

1/3. In 2008, nearly 8 million children participated in the football game.

2. The number of children attending football match was approximately 7.5 million in 2008.

4. The glance of the graph reveals that the number of children who prefer football was nearly 7.6 million.

5.In 2008, football had the highest number of teenage participants by far, with over 8 million.

1) The phrase "played football" is far more common than "participated in football", which only crops up thirteen times on Google books. "Participation in football" crops up 43 times, and "participated in the football game" not at all.

-> The most popular of the three sports was football, with participation reaching around eight million children.

Compare UK govt report: "In 2015/16, the most popular sport undertaken by children aged 11-15 years old was football (including five-a-side) with over half of children (53.6 per cent) aged 11-15 years old participating in this sport in the four weeks prior to their interview."

2) "The number of children attending football matches" (NB plural): "attending" would refer to spectators, not players.

5) Teenagers are children, but not all children are teenagers: therefore the label is misleading.

Re 1) "nearly 8 million children participated in the football game."

How did they get so many people on the pitch at once?

("the football game" implies one particular football match.)

FROM SIMON:

Here are the problems in each sentence:

1) "have participate" is the wrong tense - just use past simple. Also, it's wrong to write "the" game. The word "the" implies a particular football game, but the sentence is about playing football in general.

2) "attending IN" is wrong. Also, "the number... WERE" is wrong.

3) "had participated in the" is wrong. Wrong tense and wrong use of "the".

4) "The glance of" is wrong - don't use "glance"! Also, "millionS" is wrong. We say "7.6 million" not "7.6 millions".

5) "football WAS the highest number" is wrong. This implies that football is a number.

.....

I would replace all of these sentences with this simple version:

"In 2008, around 8 million children played football."

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