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Wednesday, October 31, 2018

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People have different views on whether the benefits and
Although there are some disadvantages in developing AI, I completely agree with the idea that AI will make great contribution to the society.

1: Negative impact:A:Lots of people may lost their jobs like drivers
B: can be hacked by people who have intention to
do something bad.
C: may attack people, pose risks on people's life

2: Positive impact: A:autonomous car free people to do something else
B: reduce the accident rates in workplace or driving
C:High risky jobs in mining, deep sea research,
space exploration can be done

In conclusion: we should embrace the new technology which benefits the whole society

BP- 1:-On the one hand, many think that artificial
intelligence is going to influence humans
in a positive way and I agree.
(i) world economy will be bettered-robots can work
fast and efficient.
(ii) bridge the gap between the rich and the poor-
mass production with reduced cost will ensure
availability of latest goods to poor.
BP-2 :- On the other hand, it is often believed
that technology take over man can be
detrimental.
(i) prevalent of unemployment- automatic
machines would take away most of jobs.
(ii) Risky - people with negative intention can wreak a havoc on others by altering the software of machines which otherwise are supposed to aid human functions.

People have their different thoughts towards the usage and miss usage of the AI.
As i agree that it has it's own cons and pros.

Pros:It makes every task EEEA
(Effective,Efficient,EASY and Accurate)
related to any of the field such as
defence,education,automation,art &
craft and so on.

Cons:Despite of its benefits,some how it
diminishes the real value of human beings.
It effects the memory,relationship,
lifestyle and more over the internal/real
beauty of the human beings.

People have different views in the recent advancement of machine technology in different fields such as artificial intelligence has positive or negative influence in their coming lives. I believe that artificial intelligence is developed by humans, hence it could be controlled and operated where it's the most applicable as needed.


On the one hand, many people believe that artificial intelligence is the best technology for achieving impossible targets or goals in various fields including satellite based data assimilation, underground movement of water etc


On the other hand, it is argued that artificial intelligence would not be superior as compared with human intelligence and could not replace our brains. Therefore, the invention of AI is not widely acceptable in our life. Example..........

Finally, from my prospective, AI has been benefiting in many fields to facilitate the people life in order to reduce the human efforts. Such as driverless tractor and agriculture machinery in very hot regions have played as vitol role.

Conclusion......

people have unparallel views about the pros and cons of artificial intelligence. Some people believe that AI is the blessing for humankind because of the multitasking ability, however other consider AI as a great threat as they are replacing the human in many ways. In this case, I would argue that AI is far more beneficial for us despite some of its drawbacks.

Disadvantages:
1.AIs are overcoming human capabilities leaving them unemployment and inactive. Example....,

2.AI could be destructive if It is operated by criminals or misconceptions.

3. AI requires high maintenance and repair cost.

4. It ruins human creativity and innovative thoughts.

5. Machine simulations make people immoral and obsessive. Eg. Games

Advantages:

1. AIs are doing different types of calculation and computational tasks at the same time. For Instance,...... computers.

2. Nano Robotic technology is using in the Medical field. It detects damaged tissue and mends them.

3. AIs are widely conducted for ocean cleaning such as collecting plastic debris from the sea water.

4. Future, I would be possible to repair ozone layers with Nano Robots.

5. They could be used for interplanetary exploration and spare research.

5. It also is used as the lecturer in the classroom which would be more comfortable for students.

6. there are various other tuffs that an AL could be processed such as babysitting, online guard, washing, preparing foods, driving vehicles and so forth.


my opinion, in spite of some noticeable drawbacks, I hope Al is the potential power which going to make our lives much easier and convenient as well as It will able to build our planet earth far beautiful beyond our imagination.

On the one hand, postives of AI.
Aritical intelligence reduce ambiguous and mistakes in comparing with human, and increaes degree of precession and accurancy of any tasks.
AI can work without any breaks rather human beings which certainly increaes in work effiecncy and productive.
furthermore, AI has modern algorithm and codes enable into their system which less training and operation cost.
Due to AI People ordinary job will become easlier convinent and safer such as cleaning, cooking, washing clothes etc.
On other hand, negative influence of AI on human
1.AI capabilities of perform multiple task simualteoasly it soon replace human for most common jobs like driving, cooking, customer care, hospita l, and consequences in surge in uemployment, povery rate.
2.AI verstaile to accopmlish given duty make human being more lazy and retard which will have negative impact on their health.
3.Al can possible to anything and extinction of human being will be danger and what role will human being have in society will be complicated.

Simon, I have a question about the writing.
Could I use how many to replace the number of when doing paraphrasing the introduction of writing task1?

BP1.

- Agreed that AI would take humanity’s life into the next level of living experience.

- Example 1. Human workforce will be replaced by robots, especially in some simple repeatable tasks such as packaging or storage control. Some companies such as Amazon and Google have been using these kind of AI equipments.

- Example 2. Auto pilot for transportations, brings human society significant influence in tourism and travel industries. Some countries have been developing these kind of technics, Japan and China.

- Reaffirm position that AI has brought huge benefits to the world.

BP2.

- Argue that there might be potential risks in developing AI, however, it is still possible for developers to make a control of these AI technologies.

- Example 1. It is true that computers might be able to program themselves in the near future, but it is also possible for people to write a specific code to prevent it from doing it.

- Example 2. Follow up the first example, once its been put in control, it would significantly reduce the potential risks that the society is worring about.

- Emphasize that it is possible to control and reduce the rate of the threats it is likely to happen in AI technologies.

Conclusion

The benefit which AI can bring outweigh the potential risks it might have cause.

It is critical to consider that the sector of artificial intelligence (AI) is emerging quickly. While some argue that this development will make our life easy to live, I would agree with those who think that this will cause more pressing problems.

One of the crucial reasons why some people support this innovation is that it is fundamentally designed to take a weight off from our shoulders. Nowadays, in industries like mechanical, automobile and pharmaceutical, many functions are largely executed through the computerized automatic systems, which have shown improvements in productivity and accuracy of particular tasks, and significantly reduced human errors. Another reason is that they might have read in the latest research articles that robots will soon be available to do our everyday activities. This can be best illustrated by the invention of self-driving robot cars, which almost nullify the human need for driving them.

Nevertheless, I think that this technology might pose some life-threatening risks. Unlike humans, computers do not possess the skill of independent thinking. If some errors occur in their programming, they would likely to cause fatal consequences to individuals as well as to our societies. Many human deaths, for instance, in a few industries operating through automation have been reported because of computer programming errors. The other detrimental effect of this innovation is that the majority of people will be replaced by computerized machines and thus they may become jobless. In such condition, they might be unwillingly forced to participate in some criminal activities just to fulfill their basic needs, and ultimately it will become difficult to live in such societies in spite of having all modern technologies.

In conclusion, although progress in the field of artificial intelligence will have positive effects on our lives, I think that this innovation would cause more harm than good.

people's views differentiated with the general potentiality of Artificial Intelligence. some people believe that AI has significant impacts on human's lives whereas others think that the advancements of AI eventually be a threat to our existence. I, however, would argue that the progressions of AI definitely be the blessing for our next generation and upcoming.

On the one hand, artificial intelligence is working in almost every sectors in the world and it is unavoidable that human life is speeding up with the inclusion of artificial intelligence. Despite their usefulness, the world may be anticipating enormous problems related to AI. First of all, AI requires high maintenance and repairing cost which is sometimes hard to bear by the organization that runs them. For example, a high intellectual supercomputer needs apex security because once it fails in control it consumes much labor and revenues to rejuvenate. Needless to say, AI is taking place and jobs of people leaving them lazy and immobilized. In addition, AI meant to be destructive and aggressive if they anyway misguided or handled by mischiefs of the criminal group. further, prominent scientists all around the world are expressing their warning sighs about probable threats of AI since computer base intelligence are reaching human level according to cognitive ability. Perhaps, they would dominate our earth if they surpass our power of imagination, so it's our solemn responsibility to hold them back before the time has gone.

On the other hand, apart from the possible drawbacks, It is to be believed that the considerable advantages would wipe out the disadvantages of AI. At present, our life is being fortunate with the blessing of AI which can never be denied. In fact, the developments of robotic technology make our lives more easy and flexible. Nowadays, Artificial Intelligences are deploying in different risk works such as coal mining, rescue operations, fire extinguishing, as a result, fatal deaths are decreasing day by day. Most importantly, nano-robotic technologies are using in medical, ocean, space fields. For instance, doctors are injecting nano-robots into the veins of the patients which can detect and repair damaged tissues. Additionally, robots are expected to send outer atmosphere to mend the decaying ozone layers and interplanetary space for space research. Furthermore, marine biologists are already have conducted AI into the ocean to clean ocean's debris like plastics, pellets and so forth.

To conclude, considering all visible demerits of AI, I hope the merits of AI broadly outweigh its mischiefs and It will open a new horizon for the next generation to cope up with it in near future.

Plz check my mistakes......

1.Introduction:
- paraphrase the question
- give opinion: believe that AI would be beneficial rather than detrimental.
2.Drawbacks:
- cause unempoyment, robots replace humans in most fields.
- some people may take unfair advantage of AI to harm others: cause wars, conflicts...
3. Advantages: enhance human's quality of life:
- make it convenient: self-driving car
- increase productivity: macines can work ceaselessly and tiredlessly with high accuracy.

With the advancement of artificial intelligence (AI), machines become better at imitating human’s behaviours. Some people feel threatened that AI may replace human beings. Yet, despite its potential downfall, this essay will discuss people’s optimism towards assimilating AI in the near future.

The emergence of AI is worrisome for some people in fear of being outsmarted. Unlike humans, AI learns at an unprecedented speed. Although the technology is still new, Google has already invented AI that defeated the world champion in chess. This, for some people, poses a threat for human’s future status. Admittedly, the threat of human being replaced by AI in the workforce cannot be overlooked. Due to it mechanical nature and connection with the Internet, human cannot compare with AI in terms of knowledge and working efficiency.

Nonetheless, the development of AI technology is undeniably beneficial to humans. It has become the trend of technological companies, like Apple, to combine AI technology in their products because they recognise the convenience that AI offers. In the near future, AI will be refined to respond to users’ requests more effectively. Not only is AI technology convenient, it is also life-saving. AI technology can be applied to medical science that monitors the users’ health and alerts them in need. Therefore, AI technology is constructive to society when properly adapted to daily life.

Overall, the benefits of AI technology outweigh its potential dangers. If AI is properly assimilated to daily life, it will unveil a new era in which AI and human coexist.

(251 words)

Thank you for taking a look at my work, I've been getting 6.5 in writing but I really need a 7. Feel free to correct my work, I really need it.

I would like to ask for questions like 'to what extent' and 'give your own opinion, is it better to agree with one side instead of having a balanced viewpoint?
I know that it's ok to be neutral about different topics. But for IELTS, will it be easier to write an essay if I just agree with one side?

Hi Dorothy

0) "machines become " -> machines have become, OR machines are becoming
OR With every advancement.... machines become

1) "despite its potential downfall,": does this refer to AI? Did you mean "downside(s)"?

2) "this essay will discuss": in their model answer British Council use "I believe" instead.

3) -> for people who fear being outsmarted ?

4) "Admittedly,": does not fit context and is unnecessary anyway. Do not over-use linking adverbs, particularly at the start of a sentence. There is no need if your sentences follow a logical progression.

5) human -> humans (as a noun throughout)

6) to its mechanical nature

7) "Nonetheless": overcooking the linkers again. At least bury it later in the sentence -> ... is nonetheless undeniably ....
OR maybe just leave it out altogether.

8) -> trend for technological companies, to ...

9) -> patients’ health

10) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=assimiliated+into%2C+incorporated+into&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cassimiliated%20into%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cincorporated%20into%3B%2Cc0

1. Topic sentence
People have different views about advantages and disadvantages of Ai in the next decades.
I support the idea that AI will bring benefits to human life if we develop AI to improve life quality instead of the purpose of control people.
2. Main paragraph 1:
- AI is everywhere in our life: Siri, google self driving car, domestic robots, ...
- in near future: AI has been used not only in consumer products but also in factory, robots for more efficient delivery, AI helps doctor in diagnosing and treatment , medical X ray reading....
- AI HELPS people do better, save time...
3. Main paragraph 2:
- unemployment
- bad purpose
4. Conclusion
- agree that AI should be continually developing but improve human life as health care, safety reasons as self driving car, ....

Topic:People hold different attitudes towards the impact of artificial intelligence on real world.

While the artificial intelligence have muscled into our real world, I do believe it brings numerous convenience to our life.

Main paragraph1:
1. products are manufactured by factory in mass quantity, which lacks of delicacy only appearing in hand-made things.
such as T-shirts, jeans are wore in the whole world
2. stream-line work leave people tired and boring. We always hear the news that some plant workers suicide themselves because of endless work and huge stress.

Main Paragraph2: artificial intelligence also bring about benefits to us.
1. Machines are better in locating flaws compared with unaided eyes.
2. the advanced technology in hospitals saved many lives.
3. the progressed teaching system can involve students who live in remote areas in the educational courses in developed countries.

There are both positive and negative effects of implementing artificial intelligence to our daily lives.

On the one hand, some negative impacts would be expected such as weakening the ability to think oneself. Since artificial intelligence does things on behalf of you, you will forget how to do that yourself as if people tend to forget Chinese characters after PC remembers and provides them just by pronunciation. Also if you would like to make the most of artificial intelligence, it is required to provide your personal information for example your preference of food. Considering the high speed of its development, appropriate legislations are not ready to cope with that ethical issue.

However, there are more positive impacts which artificial intelligence could provide. One is rising the efficiency of human activities. There are many simple tasks which do not require humans to use their brains like copying information from websites to excel files. Such tasks often triggers human errors and take time to finish. Introducing artificial intelligence can accelerate the efficiency and let humans focus on more complicated and creative works. Another merit is it can be a good solution to cover the working population decrease. Considering the birth rates of the most developed countries have begun to decrease, it is critical to increase the number of people to sustain the current economic development. In some areas, artificial intelligence could cover up and replace some job positions.

In conclusion, from an economic point of view, there are more positive influence artificial intelligence will provide to our society.

Dorothy Young

Sometimes it is easier to take a more extreme one-sided stance, as it makes "your position clear throughout", which is one of the marking criteria. Sometimes the question explicitly asks for "both views" or a discussion, so you need to practice both types of answer, and just make sure you answer the question properly.

Hi Akiko

1) ...implementing artificial intelligence to in our daily lives.

2) ...can be expected, such as weakening the ability to think for oneself.[note the comma]

3) ... in the same way that people tend...

4) PC: write out in full: it also means "politically correct"

5) -> it is necessary to provide

6) -> information, for example your food preferences [note the comma]

7) 'legislation': usually uncountable https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/legislation

8) 'rise' is intransitive. If there is an object use 'raise'.

9) "However" at the start of a new paragraph is quite obtrusive. (see Band 9) In some circumstances this may be warranted, but consider moving it along -> There are, however, more ...

10) "Such tasks often triggers": grammar !

11) "work" is seldom plural, usually only in the context of civil engineering.

12) -> the decline in working population

13) -> make up for and replace...

14) -> there are more positive influences provided by AI than negatives.

Raju

That's 428 words. That's a lot to write in the exam. I would suggest you prune it by at least a third.

Note: "AI is being deployed","are being used".

Thank you so much for your feedback! They are really helpful!

It is critical to consider that the sector of artificial intelligence (AI) is emerging quickly. While some argue that this development will make our life easy to live, I would agree with those who think that this will cause more pressing problems.

One of the crucial reasons why some people support this innovation is that it is fundamentally designed to take a weight off from our shoulders. Nowadays, in industries like mechanical, automobile and pharmaceutical, many functions are largely executed through the computerized automatic systems, which have shown improvements in productivity and accuracy of particular tasks, and significantly reduced human errors. Another reason is that they might have read in the latest research articles that robots will soon be available to do our everyday activities. This can be best illustrated by the invention of self-driving robot cars, which almost nullify the human need for driving them.

Nevertheless, I think that this technology might pose some life-threatening risks. Unlike humans, computers do not possess the skill of independent thinking. If some errors occur in their programming, they would likely to cause fatal consequences to individuals as well as to our societies. Many human deaths, for instance, in a few industries operating through automation have been reported because of computer programming errors. The other detrimental effect of this innovation is that the majority of people will be replaced by computerized machines and thus they may become jobless. In such condition, they might be unwillingly forced to participate in some criminal activities just to fulfill their basic needs, and ultimately it will become difficult to live in such societies in spite of having all modern technologies.

In conclusion, although progress in the field of artificial intelligence will have positive effects on our lives, I think that this innovation would cause more harm than good.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People differ in their views regarding whether movies should be watched in a cinema. While some argue that, nowadays, films can be watched on the electronic gadgets like smartphones, laptops or tablets and it is unnecessary to see them in a movie theatre, I would agree with those who think that they ought to be seen in a cinema for the real experience.

One of the crucial reasons why some people think this way is that many of the new movies are readily available on the particular membership websites like Amazon Prime or Netflix, thus they can be easily seen on our phones or tablets per convenience. Another significant reason is that it might be difficult for many people to spare free time, especially for movies, from their busy routines. In such cases, they may prefer to watch movies on their electronic devices, in multiple parts, rather than to go to a cinema and spend hours to watch a single film.

However, I believe that to enjoy the finest details of films, they should be watched in a cinema instead of on small electronic appliances. This is because the special effects like VFX, animation, HD visual and sound effects seen in many of today’s movies can be enjoyed maximally in a cinema, and most of mobiles and tablets are not supportive to display these effects with equal clarity. Moreover, whereas movies can be enjoyed with family members at home, the feel of watching them in a large hall with a large group of people cannot be matched.

In conclusion, although it would be convenient and time-saving to watch films on our phones or laptops, I think nothing can replace the cinematic (audio-visual) effects and group enjoyment we get by watching them in a cinema.

Sorry for posting both essays twice on the site, but I really want to know the errors I made in both!

is that important to write too much just as above written in 250 words? kindly guide me on this also as i am a new comer here.

tanu garg

Write at least 250 words. Get used to writing 270-300, so that you do not have to waste time counting in the exam. It may be difficult to write more in the time available.

Hi Vishaal

Use google books to check you phraseology: if your phrase does not come up on google books, then it is very probably inappropriate or not natural.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=make+our+life+easy+to+live%2C+make+life+easier&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cmake%20life%20easier%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=t9fdW_2rMIuBvwSmvIDoBA&q=%22take+the+weight+off+our+shoulders%22&oq=%22take+the+weight+off+our+shoulders%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...6948.10514.0.10811.12.11.1.0.0.0.165.1418.0j9.9.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..2.1.163...33i10k1.0.20wWfpFDuWQ

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=remove+the+need+for+human&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cremove%20the%20need%20for%20human%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=xNfdW4H9MZWWvQSFkI3QBw&q=%22pose+potentially+life-threatening+risks%22&oq=%22pose+potentially+life-threatening+risks%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...240069.250714.0.250939.41.39.1.0.0.0.193.4686.0j30.30.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..12.8.1103...0j33i10k1.0.dXyVRgQjn24

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=wdjdW-6LEIn6rQH-67qYBw&q=%22are+not+capable+of+independent+thinking%22&oq=%22are+not+capable+of+independent+thinking%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...128721.128721.0.129747.1.1.0.0.0.0.146.146.0j1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.fOpbuK2mkLM

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22have%20a%20positive%20effect%20on%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en

I was surprised by your conclusion: perhaps need to make your position clearer throughout.

people's views differentiated with the general potentiality of Artificial Intelligence. some people believe that AI has significant impacts on human's lives whereas others think that the advancements of AI eventually be a threat to our existence. I, however, would argue that the progressions of AI definitely be the blessing for our next generation and upcoming.

On the one hand, artificial intelligence is working in almost every sectors in the world and it is unavoidable that human life is speeding up with the inclusion of artificial intelligence. Despite their usefulness, the world may be anticipating enormous problems related to AI. First of all, AI requires high maintenance and repairing cost which is sometimes hard to bear by the organization that runs them. For example, a high intellectual supercomputer needs apex security because once it fails in control it consumes much labor and revenues to rejuvenate. Needless to say, AI is taking place and jobs of people leaving them lazy and immobilized. In addition, AI meant to be destructive and aggressive if they anyway misguided or handled by mischiefs of the criminal group. further, prominent scientists all around the world are expressing their warning sighs about probable threats of AI since computer base intelligence are reaching human level according to cognitive ability. Perhaps, they would dominate our earth if they surpass our power of imagination, so it's our solemn responsibility to hold them back before the time has gone.

On the other hand, apart from the possible drawbacks, It is to be believed that the considerable advantages would wipe out the disadvantages of AI. At present, our life is being fortunate with the blessing of AI which can never be denied. In fact, the developments of robotic technology make our lives more easy and flexible. Nowadays, Artificial Intelligences are deploying in different risk works such as coal mining, rescue operations, fire extinguishing, as a result, fatal deaths are decreasing day by day. Most importantly, nano-robotic technologies are using in medical, ocean, space fields. For instance, doctors are injecting nano-robots into the veins of the patients which can detect and repair damaged tissues. Additionally, robots are expected to send outer atmosphere to mend the decaying ozone layers and interplanetary space for space research. Furthermore, marine biologists are already have conducted AI into the ocean to clean ocean's debris like plastics, pellets and so forth.

To conclude, considering all visible demerits of AI, I hope the merits of AI broadly outweigh its mischiefs and It will open a new horizon for the next generation to cope up with it in near future.

I need correction of my writing....... plz help me.

Raju

https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

thanks, #Oleg your recommended blog may really be helpful.

Here is my essay about this intriguing topic. I'd be very happy to see your comments about it. So feel free to let me know what you think of it.


Artificial intelligence is on the rise in recent years. While some people believe that it would bring considerable benefits to humans, others argue that great risks could be posed by this kind of intelligence. Personally, I am persuaded that artificial intelligence would be more beneficial rather than detrimental.

On the one hand, the fact that AI is processing rapidly could be seen as a threat to humankind. Due to its outstanding capacity of working, robots are likely to outperform humans at any cognitive tasks. Many people could, consequently, be at hazard for unemployment. For instance, doctors could lose their job as robots are more accurate and prudent at doing surgery and caring patients. Furthermore, if humans are no longer the smartest on the planet, we could not be sure whether we can continue to control the world or not.

On the other hand, Artificial Intelligence could definitely enhance humans’ quality of life due to a noticeable number of advantages it offers. Firstly, it makes our life much convenient by automating everything. For example, while sitting in a self-driving car, people can either accomplish their work or take relaxation. Secondly, as AI has the ability to work ceaselessly and tirelessly with incredible speed, it can certainly boost the productivity in any field it works on. Finally, if humans are threatened with losing our occupations, they will be likely to work doggedly and thus improve their qualifications to compete with AI.

In conclusion, I believe that the positive effects offered by AI in terms of upgrading humans’ living standard outweigh the disadvantages.

Thi

1) "in recent years" = a period of time up till now = present perfect -> AI has been on the rise...

2) "AI is processing rapidly": did you mean "developing rapidly" (or "being developed rapidly"), or "processes data so rapidly" ?

3) -> capacity for work
https://www.google.com/search?q=%22capacity%20for%20work%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en

4)-> in any cognitive tasks
https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&biw=1252&bih=958&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=ej3fW66tAdio9QODg4LABw&q=%22in+any+cognitive+tasks%22&oq=%22in+any+cognitive+tasks%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...4225.7081.0.7601.6.5.1.0.0.0.158.596.0j4.4.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..1.0.0....0.hGjQ27wyfPE

5) -> at risk of
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=at+hazard+for%2C+at+risk+of%2C+at+hazard+of&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cat%20hazard%20for%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cat%20risk%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cat%20hazard%20of%3B%2Cc0

6) -> doctors could lose their jobs : consistent in singular/plural

7) prudent: this word implies a judgement call based on experience, and therefore implies that human doctors are currently making imprudent (and perhaps wild) decisions -> better equipped/more capable/less error-prone

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/prudent

8) -> caring for patients. [But isn't it the nurses who do the caring bit, doctors just do the diagnosis, decision-making and surgery?]

9) Nearly all your sentences begin with a linking adverb. An examiner might consider this over-use, which would limit your score for coherence and cohesion. Some of these linking adverbs could simply be chopped out to good effect.

10) "if humans are ... the world or not": this is really a separate point, tagged on the end of the second paragraph: it really needs to be in a stand-alone paragraph, and have further development in terms of examples, and an explanation of why this is important. So we are not the smartest, why does this matter? It is not enough to state your point: each point needs to be explained, including an explanation of why it matters, with examples, and the causal relationship to the argument. Giving full explanations and developing your argument will boost the content of your essay.

11) -> enhance our quality of life

12) -> more convenient

13) -> boost the productivity

14) -> losing their occupations, they

15) -> upgrading living standards

When I saw the word "disadvantages" in the conclusion I had to look back carefully and found them buried in the second paragraph. Maybe the beginning of the second paragraph should flag and signpost the content better. By all means use linking adverbs and topic sentences to foreshadow what is coming and provide a road map for the reader -> (On the one hand) there are some potential downsides to artificial intelligence. OR Artificial intelligence does have some potential downsides. [Note that using the emphatic "does" here implies a concession is coming, so we do not need "on the one hand" with the second alternative.]

It is commonly stated that the development of artificial intelligence will benefit many individuals in the world. While others argue that society is not ready to cope with advanced technology. This essay will highlight both these views and demonstrate that the advantages will outweigh the drawbacks.

Looking firstly at the negative impacts on artificial intelligence implementation, the most detrimental of which is increasing the unemployment rate. This is because more and more retail industries are installing self-service checkout systems. For instance, Coles, one of the largest supermarkets in Australia, has implemented this system over the last five years. Consequently, many cashiers are fired in order to reduce the cost of wages and it eventually many people have become jobless.

Nevertheless, despite having adverse impacts on unprepared population, the development does present a significant number of positive effects. The most obvious one is automated predictive analysis. Compared to the past, it typically takes an enormous time and effort to predict the sales figure. Whereas, by building the model of data history, with sophisticated algorithms, the machine will produce an analysis that benefits managerial stakeholders. This, undoubtedly, will enable the decision makers to decide the best strategies to deal with other competitors. Furthermore, a self-driving mode in the latest cars that are being developed by Uber and Google might bring advantages to disabled people who are not able to drive and rely on someone who can take them to their destination.

In conclusion, although there are a few detrimental impacts on some people, I strongly believe that the advantages are more valuable. Ultimately, people also will invest more in technology in the future.

Hi Herman

1) "Individuals" is not an all-purpose synonym for "people". The phrase "benefit many individuals in the world" brings to my mind a picture of a crowd with just a number of people highlighted. So to me, "many individuals" might only be just a small percentage of the total, whereas "many people" suggests a much larger percentage, perhaps over half of the total.

2) "While others argue that society is not ready to cope with advanced technology." This is not a sentence; it is a fragment. "While" is not an adverb; it is a conjunction, which means that we need a main clause with another verb as well. -> ...world, while others argue...

3) "Looking firstly at the negative impacts on artificial intelligence implementation, the most detrimental of which is increasing the unemployment rate. There is no finite verb here; "looking" is an adverbial gerund, that is, an adverb here, not a proper verb.

4) "many cashiers are fired" -> have been fired: during a period of time since the system changed up till now = present perfect.

5) "Nevertheless" is too obtrusive, and in fact redundant here: the emphatic "does" is quite enough.

6) Again, "whereas," is not an adverb, and must join two sentences together.

7) "Furthermore, ... destination." : this is a separate point and deserves a separate paragraph, as it has little connection with the rest of the paragraph. One point per paragraph. If your examples are diverse, make sure that there is not one little one dangling on the end of the paragraph, or wrap it up with a transitional sentence at the end.

8) "Ultimately, people also will invest more in technology in the future." No, in English, do not bring in a new point in the conclusion. This is a fatal error.

9) "This, undoubtedly, will enable " -> This will undoubtedly enable... [Flows better and needs no commas.]

I see "Nanda" is one of the original peoples in Australia.

Introduction: AI is popular. while it influences our lives positivley, i would argue that we should consider twice before completely applying this technology into practice.
BP1: on the one hand, we can reap benefits from it.1st, save time convenient;2nd take jobs that are dangerous like research in deep seas or exploration in outer space;finally,help take care of lonely people or the elderly.
BP2: on the other hand, i agree with the opponents as we do not prepare well to welcome this new stage.robots and computers dominate the world and people may suffer from it.lose jobs to make way for robots;are not able to fight against robots that are made of metals; we may be slaved by AI ahead of us if machines are smarter than us.therefore, take every factor into account before we develop this tech.
In conclusion,i believe we ought not to promote people to adapt to the AI-based world before we have prepared well for all possibilities,even though it may bring advantages.

Thank you for your prompt and detailed feedback! They are truly helpful to improve my essay.


Positive impact:
A.Automatic resources could do many things without the hand-working of human.
B.Reduction of time on workplace, so their leisure time will be longer and more interesting.
C.Perhaps: Workplace in everywhere, especially at their own home, so people do not need to commute official
Negative effects
A.Loss works into the artificial intelligence robot such as retail sales, driver.
B.Increasing the rich and poor gaps
C.The older people cannot adapt with the 4th revolution industries

First side:1-Many high risk jobs like mining and firefighting will have done by robots, humans lives will become less worrying.
2-People also will have more free time if they own a humanoid robot which helps them do their chores.
the Other side:Many might get laid off because robots seem to be more efficient then humans

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