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Sunday, August 19, 2018

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Please rate my writing and share your valuable suggestions, Thanks!

Dear Sir,
I am writing to inform you that I have recently visited your sports center last Tuesday evening and my experience of changing rooms was completely disappointing.

The main reason for my dissatisfaction is the cleanliness and hygiene of changing rooms. I saw sports goods are kept anywhere in the changing rooms and used clothes, smelling horrible, of athletes are hanging in the lockers.
I felt disgusted by looking at such an unmanaged changing area in one of the best sports center in the town. I literally felt like vomiting when I inhaled dirty smell that is coming from the used clothes of players.

I would like to give you some suggestions to improve this condition. Firstly, strict rules for changing rooms should be implemented to monitor whether or not players are keeping their sports wears and accessories in a proper manner after its use. Secondly, there should be some fine or punishment for breaking the rules. Finally, daily cleaning should be done in all changing areas to maintain a good and hygienic atmosphere.

Yours faithfully,
Dr. Ajay Patel

Dear sir,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the lack of space and insecurity in changing rooms.
Ever since I joined the sport centre, I have realized that the changing room is not big enough for twenty trainees to do changing their cloths and get prepared for the training at the same time. This is why every time I have to wait several minutes for others to get ready and leave the changing room which is shortens my training session. I hereby suggest to add the area where is located next to the changing room, then there will be an enermous space to do clothing and stuff.
In addition, lately all the padlocks are renewed and the new ones could not be properly locked. It seems that the keys to the new padlocks have to be lubed and stoned.
The supervisor is already informed about above-mentioned issues, however no action is taken until now.
Your prompt reply on this matter will be very much appreciated.

Kind regards,
Babak Alizadeh

helloooo sir, I need help in reading

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to bring into your notice regarding the changing room of sport center where I visited with my friends last weekend and found that the room was in inappropriate conditions .
We are regular users of sports center, been athletes so we usually used changing room very often after our practice sessions .This time we observed that the room was messy ,there was water leakage in the washrooms which make the room more filthy .Also the locks of cupboards where we use to place our clothes while practice were in broken conditions .
We feel very bad as we never expect that from the center because we always pay monthly fees for the maintenance and for other facilities .I think we should hire more housekeeping staff for cleaning purpose as the center is quite spacious and numbers of workers are less .Also one supervisor can be depute personally for the monitoring of housekeeping job .

I'll look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely
Preeti Vyas

Vishaal

1) "I have recently visited ... last Tuesday evening": present perfect is rarely used with a specific time marker such as "last Tuesday". It is used with a marker of an unfinished period, such as "since 1960" (which marks the period from 1960 till now).
Note the difference:
a) "Have you seen John this morning?" (It is before noon, that is, we refer to an event within an unfinished period.)
b) "Did you see John this morning?" (It is afternoon already, so 'this morning' marks specific time in a finished period, and past perfect is used.)

Also compare:
c) How long have you lived in Mumbai? (still there implied)
d) How long did you live in Mumbai? (no longer there)

-> I visited ... last Tuesday evening

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to complain about the inconveniences of the changing rooms at your TYLink Sport Center.

I have been observing the cleanliness and hygience of this room is extremely bad with lots of rubbish, little tissue, and foul smell from uncleaned toilets.

This has caused me lots of trouble when I got to the changing room. First, it irritates me when lots of people in a small room with a totally bad smell of foul from toilets almost everyday I come. Furthermore, when I really need to go toilets, I don't know how to treat it. Last but not leas, gabbish is thrown everywhere on the floor. All that reasons, coming to your sport center is not making me a confortable feeling anymore though I am aware that it is good and beneficial for regular exercises.

It is clear that some improvement should be taken in order to mke me and the rest of your customer come back to your center as normal. First of all, It may need to upgrade the room sizes to accommodate a large number of people at peak hours. In addition, more trash bins should be located with a backdrop reminding customer to put trash in the bin. Finally, hiring a maid or a cleaning stafff to take care the cleanliness of this room on a regular basis. If you could do these things, I would beleive that a wealth of custombers will definitely use your services ever further.

Your sincerely,

John,

Vishaal

2) "extremely disappointing" or "utterly disappointing" are more common, and might sound more natural.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADV+disappointing%2C+completely+disappointing%2C+utterly+disappointing&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bvery_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brather_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmost_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsomewhat_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmore_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Boften_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bso_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bgenerally_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bextremely_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bparticularly_ADV%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ccompletely%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cutterly%20disappointing%3B%2Cc0

3) Probably more natural to stick with past tense throughout. "is" -> was

4) sports goods are kept -> gear is left

5) -> members' smelly clothing

6) -> one of the best sports centers in the town

7) -> when I smelt the stench coming from ...

8) -> sportswear (uncountable)

Just my thoughts.

@ gioletts

Thanks a lot!

Babak

1) to do changing their cloths .. -> to change at the same time.

2) -> which is shortens my training session

3) "to do clothing" -> to get changed

4) -> recently all the padlocks have been changed (present perfect because the event happened at an unspecified time in an unfinished period: up till now, cf yesterday the padlocks were changed: past simple, specific time in finished period)

5) Again: The supervisor has already been informed about above-mentioned issues, however no action has been taken as yet.

6) For exam purposes, if you begin with "Dear Sir", end with "Yours faithfully". This is the traditional format.

See gioletta's comments above re present perfect.

Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter to inform you about the conditions in your sports centre. It was during last weekend when I came to your sports centre for the very first time and frankly saying it was not a pleasing environment.
In every sports centre there is need of a good changing room, as everybody is expected to change their clothes after doing sports activities, but the room used for changing in your centre was very messed up and stinking. Dirty clothes and equipments were here and there without any proper organization. Also, due to this reason the room was smelly.
Personally, I feel this as very serious situation for one of the best sports centre inside the city, and a danger looming over the future of the centre.
To counter this problem, there should be strict rules for the members of the centre, and repercussions should be there who fails to follow the guidelines. Firstly, clothes which are filled with dirt should be cleaned on a daily basis. Secondly, room should be cleaned before the arrival of members with proper organization of sports items.
Hope to see changes soon.
Yours faithfully,
John Doe

preeti

1) see 6) above. If you start "Dear Mr Smith" with the addressee's name, then traditionally you end with "Yours sincerely" or in USA "Yours truly". For exam purposes, just demonstrate you know the traditional format, otherwise the examiner is left wondering.

2) to bring to your notice the state of the changing room at the sports center, which I visited.... in an inappropriate condition. There must be a comma before "which" here.

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I am writing a complain letter regarding an unacceptable damage of water heater in your bathroom.

Last Friday, I supposed to take a shower after swimming in your sports complex. Unfortunately, when I got into the bathroom and attempted to take a bath with hot water, there was no hot water instead only supplying cold water. Moreover, none of notices were posted to notify the club’s member that the water heater was out of services.

This is a serious issue of which especially during winter time. Originally, I just wanted to reduce my heavy stresses of work in your sports club, but after that, a heavier stress was coming with me because I got cool. This is very disappointing for me of this misconduct.

I would like to suggest you to rectify the problem now with the following actions. Firstly, to post a notice at the entrance to inform all members of the club regarding the issues of the heater and secondly, send certified technicians to repair the heater which is not functioning well.

Looking forward to your immediate responses.

Regards,

preeti

-> We are regular users of sports center and, being athletes, we very often use the changing room after our practice sessions.
On this particular occasion, we ....

->and there ... which made the room even filthier.

-> most of the locks on the lockers were broken.

"We feel very bad" -> We were very disappointed ...

-> there are not enough cleaning staff. Also one supervisor should be made personally responsible for monitoring the housekeeping.

-> I look forward ....

@ Lung Hoang Le

1) Traditionally, if one starts "Dear Sir/Madam", the ending is "Yours faithfully".
See above comments to preeti.

2) "Conveniences": [countable usually plural] (also public convenience) (formal) = a public toilet.
"Inconvenience" is very rarely used in the plural.
-> the poor state of / the appalling state of

3) "observe" is marked "transitive not in progressive" here: https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/observe
-> I have observed/noticed that the cleanliness and hygiene .... extremely poor.

Lung Hoang Le

4) and a foul smell : only uncountable in the sense of the ability to smell.
See: https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/smell

5) Missing verb: when there are lots of people

6) "I don't know how to treat it" -> the stench is overwhelming. (?)

7) -> least, garbage

8) -> For all these reasons, I now feel uncomfortable coming to the gym ....

9) -> some improvement needs to be made

OR perhaps better: some improvements need to be made

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=improvement++be+*_VERB&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cimprovement%20be%20%2A_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20made_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20expected_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20carried_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20effected_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20produced_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20brought_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20sought_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20manifest_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20obtained_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimprovement%20be%20attained_VERB%3B%2Cc0

10) in order to encourage ... the rest of your customers to keep coming

11) It may need to upgrade the room sizes -> room sizes may need to be upgraded ...

12) with a backdrop -> with a notice/reminder

13) "Don’t use a staff to refer to one person."
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/staff

14) Missing verb: -> It may be necessary to hire ...

15) -> I would believe that many customers
(a large number of)

16)"a wealth of": used in specific phrases such as a wealth of information:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=a+wealth+of+*&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Ca%20wealth%20of%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20information%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20material%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20detail%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20experience%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20new%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20data%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20knowledge%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20illustration%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20evidence%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ba%20wealth%20of%20ideas%3B%2Cc0

Sunny

0) You could add in: For the attention of he manager. Presumably, you wish the complaint to be dealt with by the senior person.

1) "to inform you about": more accurately, to complain about the conditions.

2) There is not normally any preposition in front of "last" (next, this, that, each, every) in expressions of time.

Something more like: Last weekend I paid my first visit to your sports centre and to be frank, I was less than underwhelmed/ it made a poor impression on me.

3) -> there is a need for ...

4) People may be "messed up" (mentally) but rooms are "messy"

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/messed-up

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/messy

5) "Equipment" is uncountable in English.

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/equipment

Check out the following words too: information, news, luggage, advice, furniture, weather, travel, baggage.

6) one of the best sports centres

7) repercussions for those who fail to follow ....

8) Secondly, the room should be cleaned : that is, that room which has already been mentioned. Singular countable nouns generally need an article.

Dear Mr Smith,

My name is Jay Cutler. I am a citizen living nearby your sports centre and often go to the centre to swim. I am writing in regards to problems with changing room in your centre.

There are totally three problems. Firstly, because of the ageing of locks, that using keys cannot open the matched lockers often happened. Secondly, when taking a shower, I often encountered the instability of the supply of hot water, especially in winter. At last, the cleaning work in the bathroom was always not being done on time, leading the stink smell always spread over the changing rooms.

I must say although your centre has a wonderful swimming pool, for me, it is definitely a nightmare to go to the changing room every time. I can imagine many visitors would also have this abysmal experience like me, which must negatively influence the image of the sports centre.

I suggest that you should appoint the staff of the centre to examine all the lockers and heat-water system in the changing room as soon as possible and to do the cleaning work in the bathroom more frequently.

Thanks for taking your time to read my letter. I look forward to your quick response.

Yours sincerely,

Jay Cutler

(211 words)

Dear Simon,
I think there's a typo error in one your very first letters ( first formal letter I believe)

On the 10th May I bought a new washing machine
-----------------------
Correct versions:
On the 10th OF May, I bought a new washing machine

On (No article) 10th of May, I bought a new washing machine

Hi Syd,

I know it seems strange, but we often miss the word "of".

Have a look at the Cambridge dictionary page linked below. You'll see phrases like "Today is the 7th September".

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/writing/dates

Syd

Either is acceptable: in fact omitting "the" is more common (although it is always spoken).

Of course, American English would be "on May 10".

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=on+the+10th+May%2Con+10th+May%2Con+the+1st+January%2Con+1st+January&year_start=1980&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Con%20the%2010th%20May%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Con%2010th%20May%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Con%20the%201st%20January%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Con%201st%20January%3B%2Cc0

Respected Sir,
I am writing to bring into your notice the pathetic condition of the changing rooms of this renowned sports centre.
Firstly all the waste or spare items are dumped into this area and kept in an unorganized manner making this place very congested. Secondly, the ventilation of these rooms is very poor making it a stinking and suffocated place and it is very difficult to be there for short interval of time. Lastly it is very filthy area.
So I would recommend that full time housekeeping staff needs to be employed to keep this area neat and clean provide the satisfactory experience to the visitors. The staff should be advised to keep the spare items in the stores and guide them to dispose-off the waste items . Also, to solve the ventilation issues the exhaust fans can be installed in the place to sooth the environment of this place.
hope to have the better experience on my next visit.
Yours truly,
Sim

@ Terry

1) Dear Sir/Madam as an opening is traditionally followed by "Yours faithfully" as a closure in British English.

2) "I am writing to complain about" occurs fourteen times on Google books:

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22I+am+writing+to+complain%22&tbas=0&tbm=bks&ei=GvR7W6z9AY7N-Qbv6JGoBw&start=10&sa=N&biw=1201&bih=905&dpr=1

"letter of complaint" is also a phrase, but tends to be more used as a heading or in reporting, thus:

"He wrote a letter of complaint".

3)"damage" is uncountable (unless used as a legal term), and followed by "to"

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/damage

In fact, the complaint is not about the damage: it is about the heater being out of action.

4) Usually sports centers have "changing rooms", "showers", "toilets", and perhaps a sauna room. Bathroom would be in an office or private residence. Or perhaps plural.

5)-> there were no notices warning club members that the water heater was out of commission.

6) This is a serious issue of which , especially during winter time.

7) -> to dissipate my work-related stress

"Stress" is much more common in the singular or as an uncount noun:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=work-related+stress%2Cwork-related+stresses&year_start=1980&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cwork%20-%20related%20stress%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cwork%20-%20related%20stresses%3B%2Cc0

-> but the lack of hot water just made things worse.

8) -> I was very disappointed by the lack of service and attention to detail.

9) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+for+an+immediate+response&year_start=1980&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bfree%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bneed%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcalled%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcall%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcalls%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Basking%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Basked%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpressure%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bask%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcalling%20for%20an%20immediate%20response%3B%2Cc0

"response" would be singular here, and refer to the return letter.

Mr Simon

The issues with this General Writing task seem to be very much a matter of General English: there does not seem to be anything peculiar to IELTS as such.

@ he li

1) In English/American culture, starting your letter with "My name is.." is sometimes viewed as juvenile or childish. So best avoided for exam purposes (although in real life you might use it if you are using English for international business, and writing to a country where this type of opening is the norm).

2) "nearby" is an adjective or adverb: the preposition is "near".
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/nearby

3) The phrase is: in regard to

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/with-in-regard-to-something

4) "Changing room" is a singular countable noun, so needs an article (the) or "your". If you think of "the" as meaning "that", it may help.

5) -> There are three (main) issues. (American companies sometimes overreact to the word "problems", maybe because it is seen as too negative.)

https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22there+are+three+main+issues.%22&num=10

6) -> Firstly, it often happens that the keys cannot open the matching lockers because the locks are old and worn.

@ he li

7) ... encountered instability in the hot water supply

8) Lastly the cleaning work in the bathrooms was not always being done on time ... See Khe (4) above.

9) ... so the (bad) smell/stink is always spreading through the changing rooms.

10) -> which must have a negative influence on the image of

11) ... appoint appropriate staff OR (using a passive) ... arrange for the lockers and the hot-water system to be inspected and remediated as required.

12) ... schedule bathroom cleaning more frequently.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salutation#English

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/writing-help/choose-the-right-greeting-and-sign-off

https://www.scribendi.com/advice/how_to_end_a_letter.en.html

https://www.dictionary.com/e/s/sign-offs/#regards

@Sim

"Respected Sir" is not a normal letter opening in modern English, although similar phrases are used in German and Russian.

Sim

1) The phrase "pathetic condition" seems to be more used of people than rooms, buildings and places.
-> the appalling state of the changing rooms

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/pathetic
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+a+pathetic+condition%2Cin+an+appalling+state%2Cin+a+rundown+condition%2Cin+an+appalling+condition%2Cthe+pathetic+condition+of%2Cthe+appalling+state+of%2Cthe+appalling+condition+of%2Cthe+rundown+condition+of%2Cthe+rundown+state+of&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cin%20a%20pathetic%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20an%20appalling%20state%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20a%20rundown%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20an%20appalling%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20pathetic%20condition%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20appalling%20state%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20appalling%20condition%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20rundown%20condition%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20rundown%20state%20of%3B%2Cc0

2)-> Firstly, all the waste... : comment adverbs are usually followed by a comma

3) The phrase "littered with belongings" might be more appropriate.

https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22littered+with+belongings%22&num=10

4) -> suffocating space

5) -> to be there even for a short interval

6)-> Lastly, the whole area is extremely/indescribably filthy and disgusting.

7) New paragraph for recommendations (leave a blank line between paragraphs so your paragraphing is immediately clear to the examiner as there are marks for paragraphing.)

8) -> ...neat and clean, and provide the a satisfactory experience to members. (no article for 'members' as you mean members in general). Same applies to "keep the spare items "

9) -> and instructed to dispose of waste items properly. (no article;same reason)

10) -> exhaust fans (no article as unspecified which or how many)

11)-> ... installed to improve air quality and upgrade the general environment.

12)hope-> I hope (needs the pronoun in a formal or business letter such as this: leaving it out is informal).

Could add at the end: I look forward to your speedy reply. OR Thank you for giving this your full consideration OR ....

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to bring your attention to the changing room.

Firstly, the changing room is too small to accommodate more than
10 people at the same time. Long line up can be seen in the front of
changing room every time i go there.It normally takes me more than
20 minutes to get my sport dress changed. Secondly, many cabinet
lockers are in bad condition, and can be unlocked easily without
using the keys. This led to my phone stolen last week.
Hopefully you can take action to expand the space of the changing
room so that we will no longer to wait for long time. And also, all bad lockers should be fixed as soon as possible to prevent the items missing from stolen. Furthermore, CCTV should be installed to monitor the storage area over the working hours.

yours faithfully.

Paul

Paul

1) "Bring your attention to" is a phrase that seems to be mostly used in a spiritual context, such as "bring your attention to your breathing".

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22bring+your+attention+to%22&lr=lang_en&tbs=lr:lang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=4YV9W9_4J8iIoATl7bPIBQ&start=60&sa=N&biw=1192&bih=954&dpr=1

"draw your attention to" would seem to fit the required context better, and is more common:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=bring+your+attention+to%2Cbring+*+to+your+attention%2Cdraw+your+attention+to%2C*+to+your+attention%2C*+this+to+your+attention&year_start=1940&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cbring%20your%20attention%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cbring%20%2A%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bbring%20it%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20them%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20that%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20something%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20these%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20things%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbring%20problems%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cdraw%20your%20attention%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bbring%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcall%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbrought%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcome%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bit%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcalled%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthis%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcommend%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmatter%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthem%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bbring%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcall%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbringing%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbrought%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcalling%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdraw%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcalled%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Ball%20this%20to%20your%20attention%3B%2Cc0

Alternatively, "bring the (appalling) state of the changing room to your attention" would work.

2) Most style guides suggest that numbers up to twenty be written out in full.
-> ten people
-> twenty minutes

3) -> A long line : as a general rule, a singular countable noun requires an article.

4) -> "in front of" : no article here as it is a set (prepositional) phrase. This (and other set phrases such as "in force", "in place of", "in view of") may be thought of as an exception to the general rule.

5) get my sport dress changed-> to get changed

6) "in poor condition" is the normal phrase. It pays to avoid vague words such as "good", "bad", "thing" in your exam, as they may give the impression that you do not know a more precise term.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+*+condition&year_start=1940&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cin%20%2A%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bin%20good%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20a%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20this%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20the%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20that%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20excellent%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20no%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20poor%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20perfect%20condition%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20better%20condition%3B%2Cc0

7) This led to my phone being stolen last week.
https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&biw=1192&bih=954&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=D4p9W96MC5Gi-Qa6zp6IDg&q=%22led+to+my+phone+being+stolen%22&oq=%22led+to+my+phone+being+stolen%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...7021.8685.0.9189.5.5.0.0.0.0.223.622.0j1j2.3.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..2.0.0....0.CxSd-l7KwNk

8) -> we will no longer have to wait for long time

9) all bad lockers -> all the broken lockers

10) -> prevent items from being stolen: "items" refers to items in general, so should not have an article.

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&biw=1192&bih=954&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=G4p9W6mzBs_l-AbGp7rwCw&q=%22prevent+items+from+being+stolen%22&oq=%22prevent+items+from+being+stolen%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...224894.228818.0.229384.18.17.0.0.0.0.323.2548.0j6j2j3.11.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..12.0.0....0.mOglP3MPBBs

11) -> during opening hours.

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&biw=1192&bih=954&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=AYt9W8GqIoXN-QbKqqnYDA&q=%22during+opening+hours%22&oq=%22during+opening+hours%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...81117.84251.0.84835.20.17.0.0.0.0.378.2952.0j4j6j2.12.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..16.1.202...0.0.xyBue6jiuI4

12) Yours faithfully : with a capital letter

13) "Dear Sir/Madam" is now the usual opening. "Dear Sir" would be considered genderist and unacceptable in some quarters.

In a formal letter, it would be normal to finish with both your family name and your given name, in English culture.

Paul

"line up" does not seem to be quite right:

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/line-up

#3 here:

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/line

-> A long line (American)
OR (in British English) a long queue

Americans "wait in line", Brits "queue up".

Dear sir,
I am writing to you this letter to inform you of an annoying situation with regard to the changing room that I experienced when I visited your sports center last Monday.
My team and I were playing football in your sports center. Everything was fine except for the changing room. The room's smell was horrific, we couldn't stand its smell when we were changing clothes. In my opinion, it might be caused by the toilet nearby. Through the open windows on the wall, the smell had found its way to the changing room. It must have been a terrible experience for any guest who comes to your center.
In the end, I think you should make some moves to improve the situation.
I strongly recommend that you should either shut the windows off or upgrade the cleaning system of the toilet. One way or another, the problem should be solved as early as possible.
Best regard.
Tien

Date : 13/10/2018
Address: Gym centre.

Dear sir/Madam,

I'm writing this litter for complaining about your facility (changing room). I have used it since I was there to change my clothes and it was not clear enough as usually. It was some of juice on the floor.So, I would to mention some solutions to you

1- Do a deal with different contactor team.
2- Send to their supervisor some picture of what are dirty there


I hope my litter has a quick response as soon as possible.

Best regrades,

Sorry

* Make a deal

Dear Sir,

I am writing in respect of the bad state of the changing room A at the flex sports complex, Abuja.

This has been going on for a while, but when I visited last week with my guest, it was as if the problems got worse. I noticed the wallpapers on the walls are peeling off and most of the wardrobes are old and faulty.The toilet seats are really messy. I'd like to call the attention of the management to this.

Have being a loyal customer over the years, I feel this is unacceptable. I think the whole essence of setting up such a facility is to make the customers have a nice gyming experience not to mention that room A was meant for transgenders. Someone might see it as if our rights are been neglected because of our gender.

I know there has been low patronage over time, but a little changes can make a difference. I humbly suggest that the wardrobes should be replaced with the plastic ones, and probably remove the wallpapers.

Awaiting your response.

Yours Faithfully,

Obi Amy

Dear Mr.Derek

I’m a customer at your Fitness Time centre. I have been a regular participant for the three months.

In my opinion, the centre’s equipments are modern and diverse. I also find some convenient offers sometimes. However, I have a complain regarding the changing room which I found very small and stuffy.

I can assure you the vast majority of your customers feel the same, especially when it's crowded you can almost feel suffocated. In addition, most of the time there is no space to accommodate everyone. All that makes me feel irritated and distasteful.

Allow me to suggest some ideas I thought that could help solving this problem. Firstly, the windows should be opened first thing in the morning to let fresh air in. Furthermore, I wonder if there is a possibility to open a new changing room. A step that in my perspective would be very beneficial and meets appreciation from the costumers.

Thank you for your time, and I expect an immediate response from you.

Yours sincerely,

Islam Mustafa

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