IELTS Writing Task 1: 'while' sentences

I often write 'while' sentences in my task 2 introductions and conclusions (see yesterday's lesson for example). I also like using 'while' in writing task 1 to make comparisons.

In the following example sentences, notice the position of 'while' and where I put the comma that separates the items being compared.

1) 'while' at the beginning of the sentence:

While the number of people who travelled by train increased gradually, the number of bus passengers fell steadily.

2) 'while' in the middle of the sentence:

In 1970, around 5 million UK commuters travelled by car on a daily basis, while the bus and train were used by about 4 million and 2 million people respectively.

Comments

[Ios]

Whats you main motive to put comma in the middle of sentence and why its important please tell us in innovative way.👍

[sjm]

los

I don't know what you mean by 'innovative way' but I would encourage you to do your own research - you will find many explanations online and you can choose which one you like best. Here's one:

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-before-while/

[Wanda the brave]

@ los

Cambridge make the following comment:

"When a subordinate clause comes before the main clause, we commonly use a comma to separate the clauses. However, we do not always do this in short sentences:

If you get lost in the city centre, please don’t hesitate to text us or phone us.

If you get lost just phone us."

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/writing/punctuation

They also make some comments about "unless" which could also be applied to "while" (and most subordinating conjunctions):

"When unless comes before the main clause, we use a comma:

Unless it rains, we’ll go for a picnic by the river tomorrow.

When the main clause comes first, we don’t need a comma:

They won’t come unless you invite them."

This follows the modern practice of not putting commas in unless they are needed for easy comprehension and reading, which after all was and is the purpose of punctuation, right from the middle ages in England where it first began. Prior to this there were no spaces between words or punctuation, as is the still the case with modern Thai.

This shows that sometimes a comma is used and sometimes not:

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&ei=OWhaW4f6GZWroATk77v4CA&q=%22possible+while%22&oq=%22possible+while%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...11767.12444.0.13134.5.5.0.0.0.0.185.366.0j2.2.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..3.0.0....0.094oe0083fk

[liu]

Dear Simon, one of my examiners, he has been mentioned finding the trigger words when you are studying so those linking words or paraphrase is triggered to succeed to write an essay. if we are good at to use them.
For example, paraphrase: in theory... in reality,
linking word : while ..
please clear my thinking .

[Leil]

Hello ,
Did i write this sentence correctly using 'while' ?
In my opinion,it would be financially problematic to authors to produce books , while selling them freely.
And my another question is whether the word 'produce' make sense in this sentence.
Please help . Thanks.

[gioletta]

@ Leil

"while" in your sentence is grammatically correct, but it does not make much sense to me, as I cannot understand the situation. Do you mean the authors would pay for the costs of production and the books would be given away free-of-charge?

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_NOUN+produce+books&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_NOUN%20produce%20books%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bpublishers_NOUN%20produce%20books%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bwriters_NOUN%20produce%20books%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&ei=_9xhW432OM6noASuman4DA&q=%22writers+produce+books%22&oq=%22writers+produce+books%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...356537.360815.0.361296.19.17.2.0.0.0.222.2380.0j7j5.12.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..6.0.0....0.gYMGY2QifX4

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=problematic+*_ADP%2Cproblematic+for+*_NOUN%2Cauthors+*_VERB+books&year_start=1800&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cproblematic%20%2A_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bproblematic%20in_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20of_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20because_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20as_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20than_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20if_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20at_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20by_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20since_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cproblematic%20for%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20women_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20children_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20people_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20students_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20reasons_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20men_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20patients_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20feminists_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20individuals_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproblematic%20for%20feminism_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cauthors%20%2A_VERB%20books%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bauthors%20write_VERB%20books%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bauthors%20wrote_VERB%20books%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bauthors%20writing_VERB%20books%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bauthors%20published_VERB%20books%3B%2Cc0

Perhaps:
...it would be financially problematic for writers to produce books as giveaways (for sale a no charge)

[gioletta]

-> at no charge

[Mifta]

@simon
I’m quite confused using commas in sentences.I knew that when conjunctions begin sentence (although,as,since,while ,before) then there will be a comma to separate the clauses and to represent the conjunctions itself ,but when they are written in the middle no comma is needed.But here you’re post are telling otherwise. Please help me to get rid of confusion.
Thanks

[Khe]

@ Mifta

The graph below shows that in sentences with "..... it while" a comma is sometimes (less commonly) inserted between "it" and "while". So in this case either is acceptable, perhaps depending on the context.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=it+%26%2344%3B+while%3Aeng_us_2012%2Cit+while%3Aeng_us_2012%2Cit+%26%2344%3B+although%2Cit+although%2Cit+%26%2344%3B+whereas%2Cit+wheareas%2Cit+%26%2344%3B+while%3Aeng_gb_2012%2Cit+while%3Aeng_gb_2012&year_start=1800&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cit%20%2C%20while%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cit%20while%3Aeng_us_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cit%20%2C%20although%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cit%20although%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cit%20%2C%20whereas%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cit%20%2C%20while%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cit%20while%3Aeng_gb_2012%3B%2Cc0

The article below explains the difference:

https://www.theguardian.com/media/mind-your-language/2014/sep/04/mind-your-language-commas

There is an overview of the use of commas in English on Wikipedia here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comma#Separation_of_clauses

As a general rule, commas are inserted to make it clear to the reader how to phrase the sentence and where a slight pause is appropriate: there is no hard-and-fast rule in many cases.

[Leil]

@gioletta
While has also meaning relating to time, right ? Not only comparison ,i think ?

[Leil]

@gioletta
Writers produce books with money, right? After production if books will be spreading freely,as a result writer will not get income. I mean, it is gonna be difficult for him financially. And i intendly used 'while' in order to see if its second meaning is understandable or not. I hope you understand.
Thanks.

[Khe]

@ Mifta, Leil

My understanding is that "while" has three meanings:

1) re time, with the "while" clause coming before the main clause (and separated by a comma) or after the main (with no comma separator)

Eg John was fine while attached to the safety harness, but ....

2) re concession (= although) coming first (and separated by a comma)

Eg While John sounded fine, we had concerns for his safety.

3) re contrast (= whereas) usually coming after the main clause, and more likely to be preceded by a comma.

Eg ... so John was fine, while I was left dangling over the edge.

See here (section 2):

http://random-idea-english.blogspot.com/2014/08/exploring-concession-and-contrast.html