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Wednesday, March 28, 2018


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It is true that, the way employees dress has not any impact on work quality, so employers should allow them to wear whatever they like.Although, I agree with this view to a certain extent, I also believe that wearing uniform is necessary in some professions.
What about this introduction?
Can anyone correct my grammer mistakes(if there are)?

Below is an attempt to write a short answer in a balanced way.

In this modern age, some members of the working population believe that there should be no restriction in their choice of attire and rather, it is important to focus on employee's performance. While it is good to have a broad minded view about this matter, I think the solution to this puzzling issue largely depends upon the nature of work of each employee. Situations arise where businesses may get affected adversely if certain employees dress inappropriately, whereas, in other instances there may not be any problem. Hence, I tend to partly agree that workers should be allowed to dress as they wish provided it does not affect the work or business negatively.


People have different views about whether or not employers should set a dress code policy. Although I accept that the most important factor determining the performance level of employee is the quality of task completion, I disagree with the idea that dress codes and appearance at work should not be controlled and monitored by organizations.

It is sometimes argued that employees should be free to choose what they want to wear at workplace as long as their work efficiency is not compromised. While certain level of professionalism is necessary when it comes to dressing up for job, it is completely agreed that workers are not subjected to any restriction over type of clothing at work premisis.

It is sometimes argued that employees should be free to choose what they want to wear at workplace as long as their work efficiency is not compromised. While certain level of professionalism is necessary when it comes to dressing up for job, it is completely disagreed that workers are subjected to any restriction over type of clothing at work premisis.

Now-a-days proper dress choice and skillfull work are highy prioritised by the some organisations but not the all. Although, there is no particular rules and regulations for wearing specific outfits but fine clothes choice is inevitable in this regard. Corporate offices are like hire employees who are very workaholic and have the strong sense of apparel. In fact I am not fully agree with this conception that employer shoul not have awareness about their worker's dress code.

Shoul I need correction for my introduction? ??

Anyone can check my errors. Welcome.

I think with categorizing workplaces it is possible to have a balanced view

There is strong argument that office fashion is not the most significant concern in working environment and workers'performances is totally a key factor from the views of employers. While I agree that productivity of employees is of importance, I believe that regulation on dress code should not be forgotten.

@Raju, I am not a native speaker.

1. Now-a-days = nowadays
2. by the some organizations = not sure, but doesn't sound.
3. but not the all WHAT?
4. Although there are no particular rules and ... will be correct.
5. Why do you use although and but?
6. Maybe Corporate office do like?
7. In fact = In fact,
8. I am not agree = I don't agree
9. with this conception = with the conception that
10. employer and their?
You have many grammatical mistakes. And I didn't understand your introduction. We will wait for native speaker.
Good luck.


1) "It is true that, the way...": a comma would go between "true" and "that" (to divide the clauses) but in modern English it is not necessary or usual.

2) "has not any impact" -> has no impact/has little impact

3) "Although" is not an adverb like "however", so does not require a comma after it. Make sure you know how to use "although" correctly and practice using it in both writing and speaking: it is the hallmark of a good level of English.

4) Your position is not clear: you start off saying it is true, and then you only agree "to some extent". Maybe start: "In many jobs the way employees dress has little impact on ..." The other issue is exactly what you are agreeing with, as the opinion in question actually makes two assertions. To what extent do you agree that "employers should not care", and to what extent should the quality their work be the sole criterion for employee appraisal?


Just two minor comments:


There is a double negative in your second sentence: "I disagree .... should not..". It is usually clearer if rephrased, for example:
I agree with the idea that (in many situations) dress codes and appearance at work should be controlled and monitored by organizations (for reasons of health and safety or to present/promote a consistent company image).

Nagendra Kumar:

1) Countries have different traditions of writing style. Over the last sixty or so years, there has been a movement in English toward clear, concise, plain English, where overblown rhetoric is avoided. These ideas have been applied both in government and business. See here: http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/free-guides.html

On this basis, the following phrases would either be redundant, overblown, or long-winded:

"In the modern age" (redundant)
"members of the working population" = people
"attire" -> dress
"While it is good to have a broad minded view about this matter, I think the solution to this puzzling issue" -> It all depends on ...

Overblown and redundant language might leave the examiner somewhat underwhelmed. Instead, just put your point across using crisp, pellucid, straightforward, even prosaic writing. Boost your content and argument, not your prose.

2) " whereas, in other ": no comma here, the grammar and punctuation is the same as for "but".

Yes, i think we can write a balanced answer.

Some people view the work quality of employees as being more important than a type of clothing that they wear in the workplace. While i agree that it is essential for employees to produce a quality work, i believe that the manner in which they dress should not be dismissed as unimportant.

(hopefully the introduction makes sense.)

Background reading:












Band 5 states: "may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution", which suggests that referencing and substitution is something we ought to be doing.

Of the two, I prefer referencing. It is more accurate, more concise, cleaner, and aids cohesion. "It" in the previous sentence is a good example of referencing.

Substitution involves paraphrasing, but tends to muddy the meaning. Do we mean something different? Is "attire" in some way different to "dress", or "apparel". Most assuredly, yes, there are different usages, shades of meaning, and connotations.

So my thinking is to go for referencing wherever sensible, and not to use paraphrases willy-nilly just because someone said it will get you extra marks.

AFAIK there is no penalty for using a phrase from the question provided that it is less than four words long. Sometimes the question itself seems to include a paraphrase: for instance, "should not care about the way their employees dress" is a somewhat roundabout way of saying "should not impose a dress code". Perhaps this is deliberate, so that essay-writers are freer to include words such as: dress-code, uniform and so on. A kind of test of vocabulary.

My take, yes, paraphrase where needed to avoid over-repetition, but using keywords from the question, particularly in stating your position in the introduction and conclusion can ensure that the question is directly addressed, and elsewhere can aid cohesion if not overdone.


What works for me, is having a good selection of semi-generic referencing phrases in stock. For example:
"Of the two, I prefer referencing. This technique/method/approach is more accurate ...".

Other useful referencing phrases:

This mindset/attitude/behavior ...

This argument/criticism/line of thinking ...

This item/product/line/service

For Task 1:
This group/segment/sector/category/cohort ...

For "dress code", we could use "the code" to refer back.

"Dress regulations" implies there is a written rule, like in the army, whereas "dress code" could well be unwritten, or verbal.

Clothing required under health and safety rules and regulations is not, to my mind, a dress code. It seems to be called "safety clothing" or "work-wear" or "protective clothing", and "regulations" is appropriate.


1) If your standpoint is that "office fashion is not the most significant concern", how can the argument for it be described as "strong". Your position must be clear and consistent throughout.

2) "workers'performances is totally a key factor from the views of employers." -> from the employer standpoint, the key factor/criterion is on-the-job role performance.

3) "that regulation on dress code should not be forgotten." -> dress code compliance should not be overlooked. [or: compliance with the relevant dress code]
OR ... is also a factor in job performance outcomes.



"While a certain level": singular countable noun usually needs an article or determiner.

"it is completely disagreed that workers are subjected" : I completely disagree with the idea/concept/argument that workers should/can/may be subjected ...

the type of ... : singular countable noun

premises (spelling)


Never use one adjective when three will do !

This is a good practice technique, and with a conscious, concerted and sustained effort (and thesaurus.com) will expand, develop, and enhance your English. Just do not overuse, or overdo it, or let it run riot in the exam, or in real life, as in the end it becomes tedious, tiresome, and irritating to the reader. But a little tripling in the exam might be a good thing.

I cannot understand "because what matters is the quality of their work"
Is it mean that employers do not concentrate on way of dress of their employee and should be focused on quality of work?
please anyone describe this

MY FULL ESSAY. ALso, I made some corrections and updates to my introduction after @M'ambo's suggestions :)

People have different views about whether or not employers should set a dress code policy. Although I accept that the most important factor determining the performance level of employee is the quality of task completion, I also believe that in many situations dress codes and appearance at work should be controlled and monitored by organizations to provide safety and health measures and promote a consistent company image.

(Below I will explain my views on one side of the argument)

In general, companies have a dress code policy that lays out detail what workers can wear to work and what they can’t. However, most of the today’s workers believe that quality of their finished task is much more important rather than their clothing and expect no dress code policy from their employer. In most instances, people who are not happy with attire requirements affecting their performance in duties quit their job. For example, my former colleague, a professional with more than ten years experience, who love dressing up and more comfortable wearing with cuts and designs that fit her body had to leave a job due to the fact that she were not comfortable with dressing style described in our company’s dress code policy. This situation forced my company and its partners to some extent let employees wear comfortable clothes and concentrate only on their job responsibilities and handle complex assignments.

(below I also recognize the opposite view)

On the other hand, it should not be forgotten that there are some job types which require specific personal protective equipments. The purpose of personal protective equipments is to lessen employee exposure to hazards when administrative controls are not feasible or effective to reduce these risks to acceptable levels. For example, in all construction companies it is compulsory to wear helmets, goggles and coveralls in order to protect body from injuries. Furthermore, companies’ business attire requirements from their employees are understandable as some companies want always to be in line with company image and attract investors. That’s why the sales people tend to dress more formally because they see clients.

In conclusion, although the ability of performing a job proficiently is an important element of work performance, we should not ignore dress code policy of the some companies which are acting in best interests of both their and employees.

@ dilini
No. Here, employees think that the most important thing at work is the quality of work which are done by them. And they are against of dress policy.


For people in sales, it is relatively easy to assess performance by reference to how much they have sold (and possibly the number of complaints). It does not much matter what they wear, although usually they dress smartly to succeed.

For some other jobs, numerical performance indicators, such as number of operations performed, are also possible, but there are many jobs, such as reception staff, design consultants, or police detectives, where job performance and quality is less easy to quantify, and so compliance with procedures may be the main approach, with general appearance and compliance with dress code become one of a number of factors considered.

The question could be about the criteria weighting, but is more likely intended to address the sort of issues raised in the background reading list provided by M'ambo (see above), and the relative rights of employees to "freedom to dress" and the right of employers to impose their own rules.

Dear Colleagues,
I’m going to sit for the exam on next 07th April.
I bought IELTS Cambridge Books 12, 11, 10, 09 and the last week, I ordered online IELTS Cambridge 08 and 07 for more practice. Unfortunately, the online shop has send 08 and 07 without CD/ audio tracks for the listening test. I have only one week left for the test. I emailed to Cambridge Support center also but, no reply yet.
If anyone can share with me listing practice voce record/tracks of Cambridge IELTS 08 and 07 would be a great help for me at this juncture. Also, I can share all my resources with you all. My email is: ksamantha021@gmail.com
Great help!

It is thought by some people that companies should mainly focus on the work performance of employees, instead of making restrictions on the wearing of employees. While I accept that some styles of clothing, such as a mini skirt ,are indeed not suitable for appearing in workplaces, I disagree that employers should rigidly regulate the clothing choice of employees.

Please help to correct some mistakes from the essay. Thank you.

It is thought by some people that part of prisoners could be placed to work in communities to provide free services, instead of always being imprisoned in prisons. While I understand there could be a risk as criminals in prison time reentering into the society, I agree that the permission of criminals providing free services for communities is a positive measure.

In my view, the main risk of letting criminals work in communities we would face is that criminals could be apt to commit crime again because the less time of imprisonment may cause insufficient introspection from criminals, failing to extinguish hatred or evil in criminals’ mind. For example, a prisoner who was guilty for several burglaries would be opt to stolen someone’s property again if the prisoner has freedom when he or she works in communities as some bad habit is hardly eradicated in a short time.

In spite of the risk mentioned above, I still believe that giving criminals the opportunity of getting zero-salary jobs in our communities is a positive and humane measure. Firstly, it could ease the lack of labor force in some districts, especially remote places. Secondly, households could obtain direct benefits from free services provided by prisoners. For example, when prisoners work as employees of property companies with no salary, such as concierges or cleaners, house owners in these communities would save money for no charge on property fare from property companies. Finally, compared to live in prison, criminals who work in communities would build better mental health for more socializing in the society.

In conclusion, although we would face the potential risk when criminals obtain the right to live nearby us every day through providing free services in our communities, it is a sensible and positive measure to give criminals this chance.

Hi Samantha,

I've just shared you the records in GG Drive,

Good luck,


Re introduction: there are two distinct issues: health and safety versus dress code. Dress code is not about health and safety; it is imposed for business, marketing, and image reasons (and possibly because of gender attitudes). Sometimes there is an overlap where religious headgear or other items are worn.

I have to agree with M'ambo that substituting "attire requirements" makes it less clear than simply repeating "dress code".

"Dress style" is more common than "dressing style" on ngrams, but it would be simpler just to write: not comfortable with the company dress code.

"Dress policy", "dress standards" "dress requirements": none are anywhere near as common as "dress code", so it would seem more natural to repeat "dress code".

There is nothing in the marking criteria about paraphrasing, only a warning from British Council: "do not copy whole sentences from the question – you will receive no marks for this", and also: "do not repeat ideas using different words".


-> ability to perform

@he li

"I disagree that employers should rigidly regulate the clothing choice of employees" -> I disagree with the idea that employers have the automatic right to rigidly regulate ...

So no uniforms for flight attendants and the like?

Re your essay: hard to comment without knowing what the question was.

Thank you)


I think it is up to candidate to include or not discussion about PPEs in different fields since the question doesn't directly ask about dress code in business environment.

I got your point to some extent that "Dress code is not about health and safety", however, I again believe that in this case candidate can play with ideas and use "dress code" in general meaning as long as IELTS doesn't assess our general knowledge in specific fields. I think examiner will be satisfied with the ability of consolidating the ideas using the wording like, dress code, HSSE and PPE.

See excerpt from NHS Foundation Trusts' Work/Dress Code Policy and Procedure;

The policy
has been introduced to protect the safety of patient/service users and employees by
ensuring the uniform and appearance at work/dress code of employees complies with
infection, prevention and control requirements, Health and Safety legislation and to ensure
that all employees present a clean, smart professional image

Topic: Some people argue that employers should emphasise employees job performance more than their attire. In my opinion, It is vital for staff to provide the high quality work, however, the dress code for work should be depending on the position of the job.

P1- agree with uniform, It is essential to have a dress code in some company
1, company uniform with logo, customers identify and respect staff.
2, dress code include uniform, shoes, hairstyle, nail, accessories.
3, the example of medical staff, nurses and ambulance officers.
4, appropriate clothes and appearance provide high-quality customer services.

P2- it is unnecessary to have an appropriate attire in the certain job.
1, it is ok to wear casual cloth, artist, inventor or creator.
2, the customer won't judge the company by staff’s cloth, if they cannot see staff.
3, ex apple support person, work from home on the internet, it is not necessary to wear the uniform.
4, some time work in an office, have to be presentable for other staff members.

Con: In conclusion, I believe that it is crucial for staff to present high-performance work in any employment, however, the company only should have a strict dress code for the certain job.

Yes, you are right, "dress code" can be used more generically. Perhaps better to say there are two facets: business/corporate/image versus health/safety aspect.

Yes, but why not include something more controversial, such as high heels for women only, or religious head-coverings, or mini-skirts for female flight attendants? See M'ambo's reading list. Don't you think this is unfair or exploitative? What are your thoughts?

This type of question most probably doesn't require a 100% balanced answer. Cambridge books on this topic suggest the IDEAS>PERSONAL VIEWPOINT structure and one only has to make a concession to achieve some balance.

Hi Lolita

First of all, Thank you for your attention to my essay plan.
My paragraph 1-2, perhaps, covered what you mentioned, such as shoes is for high-hells, accessories for religious head-cover and uniform for mini-skirt. I might add them as an example.

I read some of the articles from M’ambo’s reading list. They are very useful and I have learnt the various amount of collocations and phrases, Thank you.

I should include more controversial opinion, however, a balanced answer for this essay should not be too much argumentative
Personally I think that it is crucial for the companies to address their dress code properly in terms of customer service and company image. I think it is fair for the companies if the female staff are dismissed in order to wearing high-hell shoes and a mini-skirt or a religious head-band.

To answer Simon’s question: yes we can write a balanced answer.

We first need to partly disagree with the statement, because it suggests that dress code should be seen as less important than work ethic, but we need to argue that they are equally important. So, the aim is to argue against the first half of the statement and agree with the second half of the statement.

Here’s a possible introduction:

It has been suggested that employees can have no dress code at all provided that they are a good worker. In my opinion, however, I believe that wearing appropriate clothes to work should be seen as important as a strong work ethic.

Peopl’s opinion differ as to weather or not employee can drees themselves by thier style. Whlie there are some strong argument against same dress, I still can not fully agree that opinion.

Those who believe employers may place emphasis on employees' behavior a working. It is true to some extent, but it is not a complete picture. For some vacation, the employees are unnecessary for identity themselves by dressing, such as Internet technology, teachers and sellers. Actually, there are some countries where the company does not restrict dressing on the daily working day as an only special day. What's more, their performance and highly qualified working efficiency are the standards that can gain well wages as well as their commuting to and from what dressing cannot influence their jobs.

For those who observe clothes should be unified may believe that they represent the image of the entrepreneur. The uniform illustrates that the company is regularly organised. In addition, the strategy of unified clothing is that imposed employee paying attention to working, instead of talking about who is the most beautiful dressing, especially female staff. In fact, for some profession whose character and context decide to wear the uniform as important as the quality of their working. For instance soldiers, doctors and police, the professional humans who are crucial for every country and even every person and own their particular clothes

Can you help me correct the essay on last comment or give some advice about writing?

Thank you!!

In addition, I also want to practice speaking for IELTS, If you would , Please leave your contact but I’m a student, I have no ability to pay for you.

Thank you!!!!

It is true that people have different views with regard to whether employers should force employees to wear certain type of attire. Although some people argue that it is an unnecessary burden on workers, I believe dress code still plays a crucial role in the company.

There are several reasons that people might hold that employers ought to allow people to wear whatever style or type of clothes they prefer. One possibility is that dress code might be considered as a form of control, in the sense that employees would feel loss their right of freedom. Therefore, the members of firms in which employees do not have any regulation on apparels would be likely to have higher work efficiency, which also drives their businesses become successful. Another objection is that some corporations force people to wear revealing outfits, high-heels, and do consistently reapply makeup. By doing so, the regulation on clothes would be seen as a racial discrimination, which is unacceptable conception in modern life.

Despite of the arguments mentioned above, I do believe the norm of dress plays is important in the company. Firstly, the criterion prompts the sense of identity in companies. In other words, traditional dress code consolidates workers, so it could prevent people from being job-hoppers and also become more loyal and integrity. For example, there are numerous multinational corporations like Google encourage to wear their uniforms and it somewhat causes to a stronger sense of belonging. The employees who work for these companies are likely to have more motivation, which also leads to a successful career prospect. Therefore, these corporations are expected to increase the revenue simply because they take about workers’ clothes.

In conclusion, it is clear to me that dress code is a necessary norm in company, and that firms not only can have more profits, but also have a grope of employees who have high loyalty.


"that employees can have no dress code at all" -> that there is no need for employees to have a dress code at all

The original question seems too global or generalized: that is, "employers" implies (nearly) all employers, whereas in practice with some jobs uniforms are necessary, with others protective clothing, and with others smart business-wear, and with back-office jobs there are often no special requirements beyond being decent and presentable. It is just a matter of what is appropriate and reasonable in each situation.

The British phrase for this is "horses for courses", which is certainly fine in the speaking test.


That might mean a "balanced" view would simply be more situational and flexible.


"Peopl’s opinion differ" -> People's opinions differ

"weather" -> whether

"employee can drees themselves by thier style": -> employees have the right to dress as they wish. (babies cannot "dress themselves"; children often can by the time they start primary school)

Whlie -> While

"there are some strong arguments" "against same dress": do you mean uniforms?

"I still can not fully agree that opinion": confused, which opinion are you referring to?

Charlotte, looking at the rest of your essay, I am mostly confused. Some of the phraseology is good, but the overall coherence and logic of your argument unclear to me.

Maybe this is where Simon's thirteen sentence answer structure and plan would be helpful.


"but also have a grope of employees ": unfortunate misspelling here. Checkout all the various meanings, and be careful with this word:



->(Grammatically okay) There are those who believe employers may place emphasis on employees' behavior at work.
-> (Clearer meaning) There are those who believe that dress code compliance is irrelevant when evaluating employee performance. In some cases this is true, but it is not the whole picture. There are many back office jobs, where it is unnecessary for employees to identify themselves as such by wearing a uniform or smart business-wear. There are also companies in which the dress code is not enforced on (casual) Fridays and people dress down accordingly, so the dress code can hardly be essential to their job performance. In these cases it is high quality, efficient, job performance which brings results and generates company income, and the standard of dress is irrelevant.

I hope I have understood your intended meaning correctly. I have stuck with "there are" to maintain cohesion, as this paragraph is just one side of the argument. Hope this helps. This topic involves complex ideas so it is harder to write simple sentences.


There are several reasons that people might hold that employers ought to allow people to wear whatever style or type of clothes they prefer. -> There are several reasons why dress codes are viewed as redundant, unnecessary, inappropriate, and potentially oppressive.

"...would feel loss their right of freedom" -> in the sense that it constitutes an infringement on their right to freedom of dress.

"firms in which employees do not have any regulation on apparels " -> firms with no official dress standards/requirements

"drives their businesses to become successful"

"the regulation on clothes would be seen as a racial discrimination, which is unacceptable conception in ..."-> This is often viewed as a form of gender discrimination, which is unacceptable in ...

Either "despite" or "in spite of".

"the norm of dress plays is important in ..."-> dress standards/norms play an important role in ...

"Firstly, the criterion prompts the sense ..." -> Firstly, they provide a sense ... They also help to retain workers, and prevent ...

" corporations like Google, which encourage employees to wear their uniforms"

"it somewhat causes to a" -> it may create a ...

" because they take about workers’ clothes" -> partly because dress standards are part and parcel of the company culture.

I think Sergey is right; we do not need a 50/50 answer. It is enough to point out one or two situations where a dress code, uniform, or protective clothing are essential to job performance. The other side could be there are also cases where employers enforce unnecessary or genderist dress codes.


In your last paragraph, it seems as if you are trying to use big words, and paraphrase everything. Also, it is easier to generalize countable nouns in the plural. For example: "The uniform illustrates that the company is regularly organised"-> Uniforms are necessary in some situations, such as airports, so that there is a clear differentiation between staff and passengers. (At least, I think that is what you mean.)


Thank you so mach, I am a senior student and just learn writing for IELTS . you could correct my essay that is very useful for me

Firstly."Whlie there are some strong argument against same dress”—this is my against
Secondly, I try to use some example to prove,I think I failed Actually , I do not how to express my view, my teacher who teach me some paraphrase

thirdly, I try to express “uniform” with serveal form . but I cannot search more words in my mind

Last, Thank your again, My dear friend


Can you give me some advice?
If I cannot fully agree both opinions, How can I write the Introduction?
Like this essay , I think some people need uniform, but some people who are unecessary for dress code


It is certainly true that in some countries, "employers are within their rights to tell their employees to abide by a certain dress code at work." But I believe that is not the whole picture.

Quoting from this article:


I would write without paraphrasing at first, just to keep it simple. You can avoid the need to paraphrase like this:

"Uniforms are very necessary in some jobs. They also project a company image and .... They are widely used by police, airlines, ....".


The trick is to write a short sentence at the beginning of each paragraph or section to introduce the topic. For example:

Sometimes protective clothing is essential. It ....

Dress codes are should be fair and applied equally. They ....

This technique is called substitution, sometimes it is a pronoun, or a phrase like "This idea ...". Notice I have used "this technique" to refer back to the examples.


Thank you very much, so kind of you
I will try your methods

I saw the article that you send me, that is excellent
I will constantly look through the website

thank you from my heart


I think we have some native speakers here. Would you please mention their indenting?

I'm looking for a good answer of this task 2.


Agree and disagree that some employers care about dress code of workers and others does not. Also, mostly it depends on what kind of work industry that people work in.

Firstly, I agree that owners hire people because they are talented, not just they are in neat and nice suit.
- Personal skills, techniques, work experience are more important elements when they are hiring , especially in engineering and software developer position : comport and casual clothes are mostly accepted. They have to ware safety shoes or helmet but it is not necessary to wearing the black office suits.

On the other hand, how you wear is related with your successful project ending or making profit on your work
in business and marketing & sales department : important to wear proper clothes
- To give a positive first impression to customer or clients
- Make a better results and profit. Investor trust people who looks ready to work rather than people wear in too comport pants.
- People in business clothes could feel more confident and have a higher self-esteem rather than wearing jeans while important conference or meetings.

Dear Ilkin, Lolitha,

Thank you so much for your valuable comments.

can you help me to correct the essay ?
or Do you konw where can correct IELTS writing?
I will exam next month

It is true that the traditional cultures have disappeared as a result of quickly developing modern technology. While some cultures will be forgotten as technology developing, I believe that the others will be always with us.

On the one hand, in the past, various cultures can carry out happiness or lifestyle. However, with the development of technology, those that may be irrelated to people's life need. For example, decades ago people were used to writing letters to friends or relationship so that expressed emotions. Today, People hardly write something by letter, instead of Internet or phone. Definitely, it is more effective and convenient. There are lots of cultures like that kinds of letters, which losing less or even little influence on society.

On the other hand, for a part of human, traditional customs are still playing an important role in life. Similarly, those that do not disappear as the advanced In China, every festival is told by a fantastic story, children can get it from a textbook or elders. When the day is coming, people will celebrate by ancient form.Other customs, such as farming all over the world, are improved by modern technology, but the most original of methods to the farm are still used all the time.

In conclusion, maybe some cultures have been lost in the river of history, but most of those are survived and boomed.


Hard to comment without knowing what the question was.


Here's an article about farming in China and the impact of cultural and technological changes. I have no idea whether the article represents a true and fair view of the situation, though.


While some argue that setting a dress code at work is not significant since it does not directly influence work productivity, in my opinion, creating a dress code policy is beneficial, to an extent, not only to employees, but also to the work in general.

Some people view wearing a uniform irrelevant to one’s work performance and will not yield any positive effect in the workplace. This can be true since what you are wearing is something that does not play a direct role with most of the things you do at work. Take for example an office worker who spends most of the time at a computer or his/her desk in a closed cubicle. Whatever you wear, may it be formal, casual, or semi-casual, it does not change your level of productivity.

However, there are other jobs where one’s outfit that I think may make an impact. Upfront workers, such as receptionists, should be presentable enough to receive customers or guests. One good example is those people who meet others face-to-face wherein one’s attire may leave either good or bad impressions. This is true among businessmen. In these situations, even though how you present yourself with your fashion preference may not directly affect how you carry out your responsibilities, it could affect social interactions which are important in such jobs.

In conclusion, although one’s clothing preference or dress code at work does directly not influence productivity, its relevance is worth considering depending on the nature of work.


"Some people view wearing a uniform as irrelevant"

"and consider that it will not yield have any positive effect"

The above sentence seems to simple repeat the idea already acknowledged in the introduction. One solution is to delete the opening "while" clause, and start with something vaguer, such as:
There are indeed differing views on whether a dress code is essential or not. I believe in some jobs/situations/circumstance is may well be conducive to improved work performance and results.

"something that does not play a direct role" -> does not directly affect

"where one’s outfit that I think may make an impact": usually "have" an impact (on something).

wherein -> when/where

"even though how you present yourself with your fashion preference "

interactions, which : non-defining clause needs comma.

only 248 words: better to write about 260 and be safely over the bar.

policy is beneficial, to an extent, -> policy is to some extent beneficial .... (smoother)

policy is beneficial: take out "in my opinion" and change to "policy may well be beneficial" (smoother)

Comma before "since" would mark this clause as an aside/interpolation. (easier to follow the structure)

"Upfront workers" -> Front office workers
"upfront" might mean honest,frank and straightforward, so less suitable.

fashion preference -> fashion preferences (commoner)

"good or bad " -> may leave a favourable impression or otherwise. (avoid good/bad where possible)

My own Corrections:
is may well -> may well
simple -> to simply repeat

...dress code is essential or not. I believe in some jobs/situations/circumstance it may well be ...

@DaNang Thank you for you attention to my essay

sorry,The question is “It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Because my grammar is not good, I really concern about writing

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?


"It is true that the traditional cultures have disappeared": Band 7 mentions the issue of overgeneralizing. -> ...that some traditional cultures...

".. as technology developing develops, I believe that the others ... "

I think the second paragraph is more about changing technology: letter writing was the technology of the time, from the time paper was invented up to very recently.

"On the one hand, in the past, various cultures can carry out happiness or lifestyle. " -> On the one hand, there are some traditions and cultural features which used to make a significant contribution to overall happiness and living standards.

"those that may be irrelated to people's life need. " -> some have become redundant/fallen by the wayside/are no longer needed with the spread of the latest technical innovations.

"to friends or relationship so that expressed emotions" -> to friends and relatives which expressed their emotions/to express their emotions

-> Today people seldom write anything by letter, preferring the internet or phone instead.

->It is definitely more effective (smoother)

lots of-> many (lots of is too informal)

-> There are quite a number of techniques, such as letter writing (and portrait painting) that have been superseded/displaced/supplanted/overtaken/pushed aside by modern technical developments.

"On the other hand, for a part of human some people, traditional customs are still playing still play an important role in life. ": generalizations usually in present simple. Birds fly, fish swim, dogs bark, people fall in love, have children, get old and die.

"Similarly, those that do not disappear as the advanced": -> For instance,

-> every festival is told by tells a fantastic story: a passive verb cannot have an object (except for a few verbs such as give)

get -> find (get is informal; replace with obtain/receive/become...)

-> When the day comes... (generalizing)

-> in the ancient/old/traditional way

-> traditional farming methods are still used

-> some customs, skills, and older techniques have been lost ... but others have survived and are still widely used today.


Thank you dear friend. your suggestion is important for me.I learn a lot

thank you so much. I will correct my essay again

Best bless for you

I think this question is related which job are you doing.

Work dress and costume are really important for some of occupations for instance who is working aviation sector. They have to well dressed every time and well-dressed is part of their job. For that reason owners take care employee's dress always. It is essential as quality requirement. Besides Who is working service industry also work dress also important for them.

But at the same time work dress is not too important the other works such as doctors, engineers, teachers and so on. In my opinion those occupations are reel and they do not need any marketing issue.

Those are my comments related question.

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