IELTS Advice: intelligent comments

Yesterday I mentioned that people are writing some really intelligent comments below lessons here on the blog. Today I'd like to share a comment written by Kali. I think this is a great example of 'deep work'.

Kali took five of my task 2 essays and shared the following analysis:

• Each essay averaged 13 sentences, the longest 32 words, the shortest 10 words.
• One in three sentences was complex in the sense that it contained a subordinate, noun, or relative clause.
• On average ONE of the following: "Though/although", "because", "whereas", "while", "whilst",or "if" occurred ONCE per essay.
• "In conclusion" ONCE per essay.
• "Also" almost ONCE per essay.
• Either "On the other hand" or "however" ONCE per essay.
• "This" (as a cohesion device) in two out of five essays.
• "but" occurred on average once or twice per essay.
• "or" comes up about twice per essay.
• "and" seven times per essay on average.

Here's Kali's summary of the above analysis:

In my view, what this demonstrates is that Simon's writing is both normal, and that its simplicity is deceptive. There is comparatively little reliance on connective adverbs, such as "moreover" or "consequently", at the start of sentences. Although some sentences are technically and grammatically more complex, the complexity passes unnoticed to the average reader.

If you find this kind of analysis useful, read the third comment below this lesson (written by csaj). This is a great example of how Google Books and Ngrams can help us.

Comments

[shokhrukh]

here's a more rigorous description of some of the features of Nram Viewer

https://books.google.com/ngrams/info

it's a bit overwhelming. i think it takes time to get comfortable with this service.

[Sachin Kumar]

Can someone please explain how google ngram viewer is useful for ielts general candidate ?

[Oleg]

Mr Simon

If we are not going to use those little connective adverbs at the start of the sentence, we need an alternative approach toward achieving cohesion. In (B) I have rewritten a paragraph with this in mind, keeping the topic, "working hard", as the subject of each sentence. This approach requires sound knowledge of several phrases for cause and effect. I have also split into two paragraphs (and used "also") as there are in fact two separate points.

(A) When a person is described as hard-working, this is almost always seen as a positive trait or attitude. In the realm of education, we expect hard workers to diligently follow instructions, pass their exams, achieve good grades and take their first steps on the path to a successful career. Similarly, in an employment setting, we expect the most motivated, industrious and committed individuals to rise to the top and become leaders or experts in their fields. However, I believe that in some people the desire to work hard can become an When people work so hard that they neglect family and relationships or become stressed and irritable, a positive trait has surely become detrimental.

(B) Working hard is usually seen as a positive trait or attitude. In the realm of education, it oft entails diligently following instructions, in the expectation of passing exams, and achieving good results to provide a platform for a successful career. Similarly, in an employment setting, hard work, industry and commitment are often looked upon as setting individuals up to rise to the top and become leaders or experts in their fields.

Working hard also has a potential downside. Sometimes it turns into persistent overworking and an unhealthy obsession with perfection, where people strive too hard too long to outcompete others or become the best, with the result that they neglect family and relationships or become stressed and irritable. When this happens, I believe hard work is no longer a positive trait, but brings with it detrimental effects and consequences overall.

[Oleg]

I have just noticed Simon has used "similarly" at the start of the sentence as a connective.

[Guojian]

I would like to recommend https://wordnet.princeton.edu/ and https://www.morewords.com/ to study vocabularies.

[Sunita]

"Vocabulary is generally an uncountable, or mass noun in English. It’s neither singular or plural; however it is treated as singular for the purposes of verb conjugation, as most uncountable/mass nouns are.

You can use the word 'vocabularies' but only when you are talking about different kinds/sets of vocabulary. However it is very rarely used." (Perhaps comparatively rarely is more accurate.)

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/vocabulary

The point is that "vocabulary" itself in the singular means "all the words someone knows". It is only pluralized if we are talking about two different sets, for example, American vocabulary vs Russian vocabulary. These vocabularies are different.

The phrase "to study vocabularies" suggests we are looking at sets or groups of words used for different purposes, for instance, technical vocabulary versus marketing vocabulary. If we just mean studying English vocabulary in general then it should be singular - to study vocabulary (as opposed to grammar or cohesion).

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=vocabulary%2C+vocabularies&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cvocabulary%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cvocabularies%3B%2Cc0

[fuad]

great

[Markus]

Interesting analysis. Recently I have been broadening my own vocabulary by using http://www.unscramblerer.com/ It would certainly be cool to see the difference between my own writing style before and after learning more words.