IELTS Writing Task 1: corrected sentences

Here are my corrections for the sentences that I showed you last week.

1) Sentence containing mistakes
In 2005, School A faced major problem in Following Instructions about 42%.

Corrected version
In 2005, 42% of children in school A had difficulty following instructions.

2) Sentence containing mistakes
In comparison to 2005, spelling and following instructions have doubled over 10 years.

Corrected version
In school B, the proportion of pupils who struggled with spelling and following instructions doubled over the 10-year period.

3) Sentence containing mistakes
For example, 6% students having troubles in spelling in 2005.

Corrected version
For example, 6% of students in school B had trouble with spelling in 2005.

4) Sentence containing mistakes
Handwriting accounted level off with 28% in two years, yet it was the most percentage of the problem in 2015.

Corrected version
Handwriting became school A’s most significant problem in 2015, although the percentage of children experiencing handwriting difficulties at that school was the same in both years.

5) Sentence containing mistakes
Followed by the same number 35% of students in listening skills and verbal expression of ideas.

Corrected version
In 2005, 35% of students in school A were struggling with listening skills and verbal expression of ideas.

Comments

[Mohammed kotb]

I want to know how to connect the words to buid a good sentences

[Kami]

Hello Mr Simon,
In sentence 4, corrected one, there are two questions that I would like to ask. Firstly, was "although" used in the middle of a sentence, would it be correct to use a comma before the word "although"? Secondly, the word "experienced" should have been used in place of "experiencing",seeing that it occurred in the past. Will I be asking you to clarify those asked above please?

[Kami]

Thirdly, why "the" was not used before the word "most" in the same sentence that I pointed out?

[Tam]

Hi Mr Simon,
Can you tell me and other students what are the mistakes of each sentence above (why they are wrong?)?
thank you so much.

[ANH]

@Tam:

Using "experiencing" in sentence 4 is correct because "experience" is not the main verb in this clause. "Experiencing handwriting difficulties" is a verb-ing modifier of children. Sentence 4 can be rewritten as follows:

"... although the percentage of children who experienced handwriting difficulties at that school was the same in both years"

"Was" is the main verb in this clause.

Hope it helps.

[Tam]

Dear ANH,

In my opinion, "children experiencing handwriting difficulties" is the shorten form of "children who experienced handwriting difficulties":) that's not my question but it's interesting to know your view.

thank you.

@ Kami:

why there is no "the":
in my opinion, "the + most + adjective + noun" is the correct form of superlative comparison. but here we have "school A's most significant problem" = "the most significant problem in school A". therefore, there is no "the" before "most".

why it is "experiencing" not "experienced": you can read ANH's explanation :)