« IELTS Writing Task 2: your real opinion isn't always best | Main | IELTS Speaking: 3 simple tips »

Thursday, January 07, 2016

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

WOW, they the most frequently used sentences in my task 1.....

1. The bar chart compares the percentage of...
"display" is nonsense as the chart is intended to compare something to reach a conclusion.

2. A deep analysis of the bar chart provided reveals...
it's nonsense to say a glance reveals something, but an analysis can reveal some patterns or a glance can show something.

3. From an overall perspective, it is clear / evident that...
The "it" in the original sentence has no reference.

4. It's noticed in the pie chart that...
There is not subject for the action "looking".

5. It can be seen in the figures that...
OR
The figures show that...
The "as" can function as a pronoun, so the sentence is rephrase as following:
That the figures show that ... can be seen.
you can fell a little bit redundant.

1. displays > shows or compares
I've seen your post before. just the verbs-show, illustarate or compare- is enough to paraphrase the verb in introduction part.

2. A glance at the chart provided reveals ..
> It can be seen that ... on the chart shown.

3. From an overall perspective, > Overall,
From the evidence taht > X

4. > It is noticeable that ...
The first phrase seems to be unnecessary

5. > The figures show that ...
I think it's repeated. the verbs 'seen' and 'show' have the same meaning.


it's a bit tricky to explain why they are wrong. I'll wait your claer answer, Simon.
Thank you.


Regards,
Daisy.

1,The bar chart displays the percentages of
2,At a glance, the bar chart reveals
3,Overall, it is clear from the evidence that
4,Looking at the pie chart, it is noticeable that
5,As it can be seen that the figures show

5, As it can be seen that

Those sentences do not have any big problems, boss


No


Pro

Blem


1. The bar chart displays the percentage of...
- One can use the word 'display' in presenting something that is concrete. In this case, the said term is inappropriate as the chart surely presents data which is in abstract form.

2. A glance at the bar chart provided reveals...
- In general, charts and figures are made to make interpretation/comparison more understandable. In this phrase, 'glance' is incorrect and misleading.

3. From an overall perspective, it is clear from the evidence that...
-

4. Looking at the pie chart, it is noticed that...


5. As can be seen, the figures show that...

1. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of...
2. A thorough look at the bar chart reveals...
3. It is clear that...
4. In the bar chart, we can see immediately..
5. Clearly, the figures show that...

The bar chart compares the percentage of

A glance at the bar chart reveals

overall, it is clear that

it is noticeable that

it can be seen, the figures shows/illustrates that

1. The bar chart displays the percentage of...

"Displays" is not a good word choice. A better sentence would be “The bar chart shows the percentage of…”

2. A deep analysis of the bar chart provided reveals...

“A deep analysis” is not a well-formed phrase, and neither is “provided reveals” for this task. A better sentence would be “The bar chart shows that…”

3. From an overall perspective, it is clear from the evidence that...

“Perspective” is not a good word choice and neither is “evidence” “Overall, the chart clearly shows that…”

4. Looking at the pie chart, it's noticed that...

The gerund "looking" is not the best word choice and “it’s noticed” is not a good word choice either. A better sentence would be “When the information in the pie chart is considered, it can be seen that…”


5. As can be seen the figures show that...

The "as" is awkward in this phrase, and so is the verbs “seen”. It’s just not the right word. The sentence needs to be changed to… “The figures show that _______ can be seen.”

Remember:

It’s not so much that the grammar is not right, it’s the word choices in these examples. It’s best to write clearly written phrases and sentences, with well-formed and correct word choices. All of the examples above use words that are inappropriate and unclear.

5 As can be seen from the NOUN

1.-> (Apart from the given question, I suppose that when you show percentages of something, a pie chart is probably more appropriate rather than a bar chart...)
2.-> At a glance, the bar chart reveals...
3.-> Overall, it is clear that...
4.-> Looking at the pie chart, it is noticeable that...
5.-> It can be seen that the figures show...

All the answers are not clear enough. I really need the confirmation from you, Simon.
Thank you.

1. The bar chart displays the percentage of...
displays -> shows

2. A glance at the bar chart provided reveals...
A glance at the bar chart provided, it reveals

3. From an overall perspective, it is clear from the evidence that...
delete the bold words
From an overall perspective, it is clearly that

4. Looking at the pie chart, it is noticed that...
If we look at the pie chart, it would be noticed that..


5. As can be seen, the figures show that...
As it can be seen, the figures show that..

Hi Simon,

writing "Year olds" or "years old" is correct or both are ok?

Thanks with love,

According to Master mentioned "don't use these phrases" so I decided on how to rewrite the sentence and cross out those phrases if its sound is strange, seems the meaning is not English perhaps those are interpreted from their mother tongues or reference the other editions try to revise.

1 The bar chart shows the data about / described the percentage of Noun (cross out the displays )
2 The bar chart reveals that /gives information about (+ that S V )
3 Overall, it is clear from NOUN
4 It is noticed that the pie chart show the data about ( + It pronoun ,is used to refer to the Subject “ the pie chart”)
5 As can be seen from the NOUN that (add the propositions : from before the Noun )

1. The bar chart shows the percentage of .... that/who...........

2. The bar chart gives information about ............

3. Overall, ............... It is clear from the chart that.........

4. Looking at the pie chart in more detail, we can see that......

1. The bar chart compares the percentages/figures of....
2. The given bar chart reveals....
3. Overall, it is clear that....
4. It is noticed from pie chart that......
5. As can be seen from the chart, the figure for.....

3. Overall, it is evident from the chart that.....

Hi Simon, I read a lot of articles of Task 1 from somethere( not your lesson), but I found most of them put the main points or general trend in last paragraph ( paragraph 4). Should be a problem if I write general trend in the last paragraph? Or write the main points in second paragraph is better than last ,which most native speakers will do?

Tina

Both ways are absolutely fine. However, sometimes it is easier to see the main trends before you look at the details, and, because the overview is absolutely essential, it might be good to finish it early so you can make sure it's done if you run out of time.

ANSWERS FROM SIMON:

First, it's important to point out that there were no grammar mistakes in the phrases. In each case, the problem is that there is something 'unnatural', unnecessary, or inappropriate in the phrase. Here are my suggestions.

1. I wouldn't use "displays". "The bar chart displays" seems strange to me as a native speaker. Just stick with "shows", "compares" or "illustrates". Read this lesson:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2014/07/ielts-writing-task-1-shows-compares-illustrates.html

2. "A glance at the bar chart reveals" is very strange - no native speaker would write this. Although the meaning of "glance" is to look quickly, this word isn't appropriate in this context. Just use: "It is clear that" or "it is noticeable that".

3. Just write: "Overall, it is clear that...". Adding the words "perspective" and "evidence" just make the phrase seem forced and unnatural. The examiner won't be impressed.

4. Don't write "it is noticed that". Change it to "it is noticeable that".

5. "As can be seen" and "the figures show" seems like unnecessary repetition to me - too many words for such a simple job. Just write "we can see that..." OR "the chart shows". Don't write both phrases together.

NOTE:
The overall problem that I'm highlighting in this lesson is that so many students think that "difficult" linking phrases are the key to a high score. They are not!

Remember: the examiner wants to read your description of the information shown on the chart. Use short, simple linking phrases, and spend more time describing the information in detail. This is the key to a high score. Look through my task 1 lessons to see how I focus on the information rather than the linking.

Thank you.

thanks Simon. I highly apprecitate it !

They can all be replaced by the phrase that examiners like, and want to see - namely


Overall,

Ngoc Anh
Vietnam

It seems that we have a common sense that what IELTS focuses on is the way we express it not the content. That's why we focus on linking. I'm kind of confused now.

Hi Lynn,

I can see why it's confusing for so many people.

My explanation is that "linking" is NOT the way you express ideas - it's only the way you CONNECT them together. Also, when I talk about "content", I'm not saying that you need to have brilliant ideas - it doesn't matter whether your ideas and opinions are simple, complex, strange, right or wrong. The examiner is not judging the quality of your THOUGHTS, but he/she is judging the quality of the LANGUAGE that you use to express those thoughts.

Remember: IELTS is a language test, so the examiner wants to see ideas expressed using good language. The problem with linking is that anyone can learn a list of linking phrases. The ideas between each linking word/phrase are what really show your language level.

I hope this makes sense!

Actually I am still a bit confusing that I've bought a IELTS writing book, and most of samples in the book shows ''at glance bla bla...''or given a figure... something like these write in the begging... and it will be higher score (in books)...
But your suggestions are different with...

But I will follow yours because it is easy to remember.

Hi Lene,

It's really disappointing to hear that books recommend that kind of thing. Please believe me that memorised linking phrases are not enough to get you a high score.

Ok, I will follow your way.
Thanks for replying! :)

1.The bar chart displays the percentage of...
the subject of "display" should be some analyis but not
the information can be saw directly.
2.A glance at the bar chart provided reveals...
not the glance reveals something but the chart.
3.From an overall perspective, it is clear from the evidence that...
the former sentences is the same meaning with the latter one.
4.Looking at the pie chart, it is noticed that...
the object is "it", so the verb "look" should not be continuous tense
5.As can be seen, the figures show that...
the topic of writing task 1 is to ask you describe the charts to others to let them know the information quicker, so writers should suppose the viewers can not see the charts.

I don't know what I'm talking about hhh.LOL

Thank you so much, Simon! I feel so lucky to have known your website through recommendation of a Chinese IELTS teacher Chris Tang. Best wishes to you!

I feel obliged to thank you my brilliant teacher... How lucky I am finding this loveable blog before I take IELTS 😊😊😄

Hi Simon

You are just perfect teacher.

Greetings from Istanbul

Thank you, Simon!

Hi Simon!
Provided is a pie chart which compares....
Is this phrase also inappropriate for the task 1? Thanks ahead!

Hi simon
help me to write report process before and after

It can be clearly seen that,
It is crystal clear that,
First and foremost point to assert my view is that,
From the overall analysis,
Overall,It is vivid from the first look that,

The bar reveals the percentage of...
The bar chart provided reveals...
From the graph, it is clear that...
As can be seen in the pie chart, it is noticed that...
As can be seen from the graph, the figures show that...

Hi
A glance at the graph provided reveals... This sentence recommended in Wrire Right book for getting 7+:(

Hi Parisa,
Could you please post the entire essay here?

I am sure there must be other reasons for 7+

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)