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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

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Hi Simon ,
I' m sorry to post my question again , but I' m really confused about the question in this lesson.
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2012/06/ielts-writing-task-2-unpaid-work-essay.html#comments

I want to answer the question with disagree opinion but I want to write about both sides of arguments. In one of your lessons you said that in some questions this is possible especially when there are certain words like
" only" or " should ".
So I wonder if I can do that for this question . For example,
Can I write,
( It is true that unpaid work done by teenagers in their spare time would be beneficial for them as individuals and their society. However, I disagree that these young people should be forced to do such work).
Then I write 1 body paragragh why it is agood idea and another paragragh about why i disagree with the opinion ( should be forced).

Thanks in advance

Hi la violette,
this is one of the responses that Simon answered in the lesson you mentioned above. it might help you to clear up your confusion.
hope it will help.


i tried to break the question like this.
force to do A , because A is good. Agree/disagree?
if i put your answer here, is like:
1. should do A, and the reason why Ais good
2. should not force to do A, and the reason why force is not good

in my view, for this particular question, it is hard to break Force to do A into two standpoints.

cheers,

Evie

----------------------------simon's answer------------------------------
Hi Albert,

I agree that it's difficult to 'partly agree' with the above question. Either teenagers should be required to do unpaid work, or they shouldn't. It isn't an "advantages and disadvantages" essay. You definitely need to read the question carefully.

Don't worry about 'young people' - it's close enough, and the reader will understand the meaning. Also, it's nice to have some variety in the vocabulary you use.

Posted by: Simon | Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 11:46

Hi Evie,
I really appreciate your efforts for explaining that for me.
I read Simon comment to Albert, and I agree that it would be difficult to answer the question with partly agree opinion, but I wondered only if I can still disagree but write about the 2 sides ? Like what Simon did in this question .
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/11/ielts-writing-task-2-who-should-we-help.html#comments


Thanks again.

Dear Simon,

Analyzing your essays, I found how simple they are!
Really, there is no mystery or secret. However, my problem is that when reading the charts or essay's question, my mind seems to be empty and can't come up with any logical idea.
How can I train my brain to make it works?
Please advise me.

It is better to buy a banana than a cigarette.
To what extent do u agree or disagree.

I completely agree, because in first para cigarette is injurious to health and in second para banana is good for health.

If I partly agree then my argument will be weak.

Hello simon, here you can find my answer below and please can you score my answer? I need to take 6 band at least. Thanks..

Dear fellows, please dont hesitate to criticize and score my answer, i really need to checked by someone else..


Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


It is undoubtedly true that a considerable number of people argues that goverments should not contunie to support and fund older people therefore they should take care by own. From my point of view, Although I accept we al have some responsibilities to save our money and keep it in order to fund ourselves, I completely disagree with the idea that elderly people shouldnt receive any fundings from the state.

On one side of the arguments, some of the people believes expenditure of the financial supports for elderly people is some kind of burden on goverments shoulders. Goverments may spend this money on education, healthcare system or financial services for homeless people. In addition to that, people should work among their whole life for their own futurei furthermore, they should save enough money for their expenses. Lastly, they advocate some of the liberal thoughts which states shouldnt fund their older citizens.

On the other hand, rest of the people claim that goverments should pay salaries and keep funding their older people. Accordingly this argument, firstly, goverments doesnt use their own funds while paying salaries to their eldery people. Because of the social security services, people pays monthly a little amount of money to the goverment due to entitle to earn old age pension. Secondly, most of the developed countries such as France, Germany or the United Kingdom, support and provide income for their older citizens. This management mentality is a current reflection of social democratic discipline. In order to maintain democracy, states should keep to fund elderly people.

In conclusion, Although cutting the support of elderly people’s fundition seems beneficial for societys and may provide to more focusing on other problematical areas such as education, I believe that in terms of social democracy, goverments should fund their elderly people.

Hello simon, here you can find my answer below and please can you score my answer? I need to take 6 band at least. Thanks..

Dear fellows, please dont hesitate to criticize and score my answer, i really need to checked by someone else..

(Sorry, I copied the wrong topic..)


It is undoubtedly true that a considerable number of people argues that goverments should not contunie to support and fund older people therefore they should take care by own. From my point of view, Although I accept we al have some responsibilities to save our money and keep it in order to fund ourselves, I completely disagree with the idea that elderly people shouldnt receive any fundings from the state.

On one side of the arguments, some of the people believes expenditure of the financial supports for elderly people is some kind of burden on goverments shoulders. Goverments may spend this money on education, healthcare system or financial services for homeless people. In addition to that, people should work among their whole life for their own futurei furthermore, they should save enough money for their expenses. Lastly, they advocate some of the liberal thoughts which states shouldnt fund their older citizens.

On the other hand, rest of the people claim that goverments should pay salaries and keep funding their older people. Accordingly this argument, firstly, goverments doesnt use their own funds while paying salaries to their eldery people. Because of the social security services, people pays monthly a little amount of money to the goverment due to entitle to earn old age pension. Secondly, most of the developed countries such as France, Germany or the United Kingdom, support and provide income for their older citizens. This management mentality is a current reflection of social democratic discipline. In order to maintain democracy, states should keep to fund elderly people.

In conclusion, Although cutting the support of elderly people’s fundition seems beneficial for societys and may provide to more focusing on other problematical areas such as education, I believe that in terms of social democracy, goverments should fund their elderly people. (299)

La Violette

There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying that you feel unpaid work should be strongly encouraged but not forced upon young people, and then spending a paragraph on both of these concepts. It shows that you disagree, but not strongly. In this question, the main point that candidates struggle with is that they have to look at benefits to the teenager and society and do so equally.

Monir

IELTS questions are specifically written so that people can have different viewpoints. The example you give is not really an essay question, because one option is clearly positive and the other is clearly negative.

Hi,Simon,thanks for your advices about IELTS essay writing.I am absorbing from your blog and getting a lot of confidences.

Hi Sjm,
Thaaaaanks so much for clearing my doubts.
I really appreciate your efforts in helping us.

Thanks again.

Thank you!!

SJM

Hi Simon,

I tried to write a 'disagree' essay for this question. Please give me some advice and feedback about my writing. Also, I purchased your all writing task 2 video lessons. They are really helpful! Thank you so much.

People have differing views about whether or not governments should help their older citizens. I completely disagree with the idea that retired people should not be given any support fom the state.

In my opinion, governments are responsible for ensuring that their all citizens have a good quality of life. Firstly, the idea of social democracy which means that all members of society should live equally and have same rights to achieve education and health services easily requires this kind of supports for elderly people. Secondly, all people have to pay their taxes to the governments during their terms of employment. For this reason, they can have a chance to receive financial aids for retirement. Finally, elderly people may need to be given more importance and attention in order to ceate a secure environment and improve well-being of all citizens.

On the other hand, nowadays the average life expectancy is increasing especially in developed countries and people live longer than ever before. But most of older people can not find a proper job to make ends meet because of competitive and highly demanding working environment. For example, employers will choose younger and more energetic employees if an elder person apply for such as a position of sales deparment. Probably it will require lots of business trips, shift works and over performance which can not be met by aged people. So, governments should take responsibility for eldercare to tackle with potential problems may arise.

In conclusion, I would argue that providing economic support and welfare for senior citizens is one of the major authorities of governments.

@Hashimi,

Sorry my friend, im not qualified enough to score your essay. Maybe some other candidate could do that.

Take care

Hallo,an essay disagrees with this opinion. hopefully need someone to double check it. likely, an idea is strong enough, grammar, cohesion, and coherence.
People have different views about whether or not governments should help senior citizens. I completely disagree with the idea that elderly people should receive no support from the state.
On the one hand, the government should attend to the needs of elderly and more nursing home should be established. Because the society is becoming ageing and more and more people are single. In my country that has the National pension program, it is meant the state has the financial support to take care their senior citizens when those people are old-ages, such as, the health insurance, retired pension fund, and the retirement plan.

One the other hand, the retirement plan for all , that is the state ensure that people live with pride and without compromising on their standard of living during advancing or the state have pension plans provide financial security and stability during old age when people don’t have a regular source of income. Whilst, the authority offer the money to support senior citizens who do not have a partner, because of the partner was death. Therefore, the government should build the nursing house to take care of those elderly people . At the same time, with an illegal system to hired the quantify nurse, and this scheme pay for it. If the council did not pay an attention to this problem, it would be a burden on their younger generation.
In conclusion, the citizen should have a duty or saving the money for retired life. I double if the government did not help and have a fund to aid the ageing community.

thanks in advanced

Hi Simon

It is my disagree essay. Would you mind giving me your feedback as well as your score about my writing. Thank you so much.

Essay

It is no doubt true that subsidy has had a significant influence on senior citizens. Some adopt a view that taking care of them is their obligation, therefore, it is unneccessary to support them; however, as far as I am concerned, this opinion is flawed.
To begin with, the strongest argument against for this opinion is that one of the most important target in most countries is assuring social equality. If state authorities promulgate a decree in order to stop subsidizing elderly people, it means that inhabitants who have successful careers will be able to enjoy their rest life, in contrast, people gaining low salaries will continue to look for some ways to survive. Hong Kong could be taken as a particularly salient instance of this, many residents aging 65 years and over have to live in extremely small flats because of the lack of income. It will cause social unequality.
In the second place, another key component of the case against this opinion is that government budgets using to assist senior people are considered as a humanitarian action. There are a vast number of cases which each people can not prepare for their retirement plans. To use a common example of this, some old people may have surprised accidents or serious ills. Consequently, they do not have budgets for these problems. If there is not a subsidy from public councils, they may die. Personally, ignorance’s instrumental role of government support is a grave mistake.
In conclusion, I disagree with the idea that elderly citizens have to take full responsibility for taking care of them.

Hello Simon,

I have a question about terms for agreement or disagreement in task 2.
One of my friend said "completely" agree or disagree is used in spoken Engligh, so it is not appropriate to use it in writing. Instead, she suggested me to use "I am adamantly opposed to their view" or "I am entirely in agreement with somebody" after "there is a widely held notion that S + V"
It is actually quite confusing to me because I have been practicing writing under your guidelines. I would really appreciate if I could have your advice on this question.
Thank you very much in advance.

Hi Simon,

I have a question about balanced opinion. If I choose to express a balanced opinion, do I need to write nearly same amount of words in the agree and disagree part? Is it ok that I write 120 words in agree part and 60 words in disagree part? Thanks.

Best,
Ellen

hi simon,

i have a question. on ielts exam i wrote a good essay for task 2 but i can't almost write anything for task 1 maybe three bad sentences. my score was 4.5...well, according to you, what is my score for task 2 ?

Dear all,

I use Simon's introduction to develope the complete essay, trying to immitate his formula. This is my second attempts. Any comments from the community are welcome.


People have different views about whether or not governments should help senior citizens. Although I accept that we all have a responsibility to save money for retirement, I disagree with the idea that elderly people should receive no support from the state.

There are several reasons why it is believed that elderly people should not expect to receive financial support from their governments. Firstly, individuals are primarily responsible for themselves in all aspects of life. People, therefore, need to plan for their future lives, and during service time, they should set aside a certain amount of money for the old age. Secondly, families, especially adult children have a responsibility to look after their parents. When parents reach the old age and are unable to earn a living, young working children should provide them with care. Finally, governments are to care for the whole society, not for a particular group.

Despite all arguments described above, I believe that in some circumstances, government help is necessary. In some countries, some deprived families, which have difficult life, parents struggle everyday for the basic survival needs of their families, and they often sacrifice everything they have for raising their children. They have nothing left to save for the future. When they grow older and reach the retirement age, not all of them are fortunate enough to be looked after by their children. At this age, they are not able to find job to earn a living by themselves. This is not because of their fault, and it would definitely be wrong that governments forsake these senior citizens.

In conclusion, I would argue that in some cases, government support for the elderly citizens, who are homeless and have no source of income, is an obligation

(290 words)

Providing financial support to senior citizens by the State is a highly-debatable topic; different people have varying views and opinions regarding this matter. Although I agree that personal welfare should be an individual's duty to oneself, I disagree with the notion that senior citizens should not receive any amount of monetary support from the government.

As a person in my prime working years, it is one of my priorities to set a portion of my earnings for my retirement. Although, it is still a long way ahead, I find it more beneficial to start early. Investing in different insurance schemes that will cover the retirement period is a worthwhile venture. It is a wise decision that teaches responsibility and financial management as well. Furthermore, insurance policies nowadays can be tailored to your actual needs, are more comprehensive in coverage and has flexible payment methods.

Having a retirement plan laid out allows a person to envision a more secured future. It creates a kind of positive feeling to have the present be enjoyed more. It also gives a person a sense of pride. Everyone should not rely mainly on government funds or insurance systems because sometimes, the coverage is not extensive enough to meet personal needs.

On the other hand, I do not agree with the State for excluding the elderly for financial support. This vulnerable population group should always be a part of the national budget together with healthcare and education. Whether a senior citizen worked for the government or public sector, he/ she should receive a retirement fund since they were taxpayers in their working years which have helped the country in nation building. It is not out of sympathy, but rather something to give back for their contributions. Furthermore, there are many unavoidable instances that drains a person financially and not being able to save up for retirement, and most of the time, the government is their only means of getting by.

In conclusion, it is both wise and prudent to save for retirement while still young and capable to better care for oneself but the government should always act as a back-up system to the elderly people, who cannot, otherwise, take care of themselves. I think it is a humane thing for the State to implement policies like these.

(384 words)

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your wonderful website.

Now, I have a question for this topic.
There is only one side view in question statement, but in your introduction, there are two sides of views.
and then you said "People have different views about whether or not governments should help senior citizens."

However,I only see one view in question"Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because...".

Could you please explain more about this concern?
Cheers

Winston

Hi Winston,

The question asks whether we agree or disagree with the statement. So, the words 'agree' and 'disagree' refer to both sides of the argument: whether governments should help or not.

I hope this helps.

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your reply.

Maybe I didn't tell clearly about my confuse.
What I meant is that statement only mentions "government should not ...", but does not tell "who think", like "some people", "other people".

If statement goes like this: " some people think government should not.... , however, other people think government should...", and then I totally agree your introduction" people have different views..."

Actually, what I am confusing is the paraphrase for the topic sentence , not for the answering sentence.

thanks

Winston

Hi Winston,

I see what you mean. I don't always paraphrase the question statement perfectly - my aim is to introduce the overall topic, and it's fine to do it in the way that I did in the lesson above.

Please Evaluate:


People have different views whether or not government should support senior citizens. Some people argue that spending life by serving the country demands care and help in return by the government. However, others think that they had been paid throughout for their services and should not be entertain after retirement.

There is no doubt that senior citizen are the true assets of a country. Their contributions towards betterment of country could not be neglected in any case. They could server even after their retirement by sharing their useful experiences and observations that could help other citizen of the country in many ways. Elder citizen should be given respect for their work,. Government must take care of the people by providing moral and financial help. There should be monthly funds for these citizen and other facilities such as medical transportation are to be given on discounted rates.

However, it is also the responsibility of individual to invest in some money saving schemes. This could help them after their retirement. For instance, every government offered Special Saving certificate scheme for their people, which give them thrice of the actual amount after ten years. Moreover, there are many others ways of saving money such as insurance, bank deposit etc.

In conclusion, I believe that it’s a mutual responsibility of individual and government to financially helped senior citizens. Senior citizen are the pride of nation because of their endless efforts contributions and commitment towards the country, they should be treated with high esteem and privileged.

Aging population is increasing around the world with the passage of time. Considering this, some analyst hold an opinion that government should not provide aid to elderly people and these people should prepare and rely on themselves for retirement period. I staunchly disagree with above argument for variety of notable reasons.

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