« IELTS Writing Task 2: try this exercise | Main | IELTS Speaking Part 2: family celebration »

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

The line graph shows us the percentage of young people who live in England aged 16-24 which are unemployed from 1993 to 2012.

It is clear that London registered the highest rate of unemployment of young adults over the whole period given. It is also noticeable that the trend is similar for the all four categories mentioned between 1993 and 2012.

In 1993, the largest proportion of unemployed people aged 16-24 lived in London, about 22% respectively. There were around 17% of them in the rest of England. However, the overall unemployment rate in London and the rest of England was slightly lower, with figures of just under 15% and 10% respectively. Over the next 6 years, there was a decrease of approximately 5% in the unemployment rate of each of the four categories. Therefore, the figure for young people who lived in England and had no job reached its lowest point, with just under 15%.

By 2012, the unemployment rate of Londoners aged 16-24 reached its peak, at 25%. People of the same category of age from the rest of England also reached the highest point, at about 21%. By contrast, there were only around 8% unemployed people for each of the two regions, overall London and rest of England.

Why did you use "which" in line 2 instead of "who"? Thank you!

The line graph compares the changes in the figures for unemployed youngsters in England from 1993 to 2012.

In 1993, London had the highest unemployment rate for 16 to 24 age group, with an approximate of 23%, whereas the unemployment figures for the same age in rest of England was nearly 17%. Over the next subsequent years, the figures for unemployment in London decreased with mild fluctuation to reach a lowest of 15% in 2002. This was followed by a dramatic increase and reached a peak of 25% in 2012. This is the highest figure mentioned in the chart. The unemployment rates of the young in rest of England also reached to the second highest of 20.5% in 2012.

The unemployment rates for overall London and rest of England were also highest at 14% and 10% respectively. These figures decreased gradually until 2009, and remained fairly stable for the next few years. From 2005, the rate of unemployment of both categories showed a gradual upward movement, to reach just under 10%.

Overall, the unemployment rate of young Londoners were much higher than other parts of England throughout the years.

This is a quiet difficult graph to elaborate



The chart demonstrates the change of the unemployed proportion rates in England from 1993 to 2012.

In overall, it is clear that the rates of unemployed percentage are really different to the age group in England. First of all, the percentage of Aged from 16 to 24 started in 1993 with 22% and went down slightly in 1999 at 15% .From 1993 to 2012, this age group reached at peak in total of the unemployment was 25% in 2012. Second, the age group from 16 to 24 Rest of England was not much high unemployed percentage in total. There was a very dramatic rise from 2004 to 2009 at 18% in 2009. According the line chart, the age group Over London and Overall Rest of England reached the lowest unemployed percentage between 1993 and 2012. With the age group Overall London, it dropped slightly at 15% in 1993 and went down 7% in 2008. Finally, the age group Over Rest of England also declined as the same the age group Over London with the lowest point at 4 % in the year 2004.

In summary, this chart gives the general overview about the unemployed of all age groups. It makes clear that the unemployment in England intends to increase and go on for next few years.

The line graph compares percentages of young people aged 16_24 who are unemployed in the UK between 1993 and 2012.
young adult unemployment rate,Although overall unemployment rate of London and rest of England experienced a downward trend, saw a upward trend.
the number of unemployed people aged 16-24 in London and rest of England were 22% and 18% respectively in 1993. It decreased moderately with a constant fluctuation until 2002 before experiencing a upward trend and hitting a peak (25%) in 2012. On the other hand,This rate in rest of England fluctuated steadily with downward pattern until 2001 before experiencing a upward movement. It reached 20% in 2012.
Overall percentage of unemployed people in London and rest of England are 15% and 10% in 1993. Their trends were downwards with a steady fluctuation until 2006 before experiencing a slight increase by 2012.


please rectify my writing. thank you

The graph illustrates a trend of unemployment rate of young people who live in England aged 16 to 24 throughout the year from 1993 to 2012.


The percentage of unemplyment of adult living in London was the greatest at the beginning of the period at about 22% and showed a downward trend until the year 1999 at 15%. There was similar changes in the percentage of adult living in other areas. These figures reflected to the overall unemployment rate, which experienced a downward trend as well between 1993 to 1999.

However, there was an opposite trend from the year 2000. The percentage unemployed again showed an upward trend for adults aged 16 to 24 living both in London and rest of England. The unemployed percentage for adults in Lonon reached to peak at 25 % at the end of the entire research period. Besides, the percentage of adults living in other areas showed a surge at about 20% in 2011 and remained stable for one year till the end of the given period.
However, there was an opposite trend from the year 2000. The percentage unemployed again showed an upward trend for adults aged 16 to 24 living both in London and rest of England. The unemployed percentage for adults in London reached to peak at 25 % at the end of the entire research period. Besides, the percentage of adults living in other areas showed a surge at about 20% in 2011 and remained stable for 1 year till the end of the given period. Although the percentage of overall employment for adults both in London and rest of England was not the highest at the end of period at 9% and 8% respectively, it generally showed an upward trend with 3-year fluctuation from 2006 to 2009.

The employment rate of adults aged 16 to 24 both in London and the rest of England experienced similar trend over the period from 1993 to 2012, which had a downward trend for the first half of the period and an upward trend for the second half of it.

Is it alright to write conclusion like this?

The employment rate of adults aged 16 to 24 both in London and the rest of England experienced similar trend over the period from 1993 to 2012, which had a downward trend for the first half of the period and an upward trend for the second half of it.

PARAPHRASE TOPIC SENCENCE:

The chart illustrates how unemployment rates of English young people have changed during a period from 1993 to 2012.

OVERALL STATUS:

The unemployment rate of 16-24-years old, both in London or elsewhere of England, is higher than overall level. Moreover, Londoners of different ages have a higher unemployment rate than other English people.

TWO PARAGRAPHS OF SPECIFIC DETAILS

In 1993, more than 20% youngsters aged 16-24 in London didn’t have a job, slightly higher than those in the rest of England, which stood at about 17%. Overall, the unemployment rate of London citizens reached at 14%, compared to 10% for other British people. During the following decade, there was a decrease of people employed in England.

By the year of 2012, the percentages unemployed for the young has reached its maximum, at 25% and 20% respectively for Londoners and other Englishmen. By contrast, the overall level of unemployment in London had a slight increase, reaching at 9% at length, marginally higher than that in the rest of England.

(161 words)

Hi Simon,

I'm a newbie in IELTS. Below is my introduction, please let me know if there is any problem with it.

"The line graph compares trends in proportion of young people aged 16 to 24 who are unemployed in the UK from 1993 to 2012."

Hi Simon,

I know my question is unrelated with the topic, but I want to ask you if you are doing an online teaching???

The line chart illustrates how the young grown-up unemployment rates changed in London and the rest of England over a twenty-year period.

General speaking, the percentage of unemployed people aged from 16 to 24 in England increased slightly whereas the number of young adults unemployed overall witnessed downward trends.

In the year 1993, the percentage of people aged from 16 to 24 in London was about 22% and that in the rest of England was around 17%. Both of them decreased gradually in the first ten years, the former reached its low at approximately 15% in 1999, while the later hit its lowest point at nearly 11% in 2001. From 2002 onwards, the number of unemployed youngsters in London and in the rest of England both grew dramatically to 25% and 20% in 2012 respectively.

In contrast, the proportions of young adults in London and of the other youngsters in England were just about 14% and 10% respectively at the beginning of the period. Both of them experience decreases to less than 10% in the year 2012.

I know my writing has many problems. I look forward to getting some advice from you Simon and all of you readers. Thanks!

Hi, i'm struggling with my writing so i've tried to do this chart, please help me correct my mistakes :)

The graph illustrates changes in unemployment rates of young adult who are between 16 and 24 in London compared to the rest of England in the 20 years period. According to the data, the percentage of youngsters in London who have been out of work is the highest proportion, which was 22% in 1993 then fluctuating unstably and reaching a new peak at 25% in 2012. It was absolutely dominated when comparing to the unemployed of overall London, which rate was shifting around 10 to 15 percent less than the adolescents’ figure. Additionally, the similar trend was applied for young adults of the rest of England who were unemployed at the rate of 17.5% in 1993 then having stabilized at 20% since 2011 and the gap was significantly alerted due to the fact that the number of overall England people generally stood at 8% in 2012. In conclusion, the unemployment rates have been fluctuating through time and those figures demonstrate that the young workforce finds it difficult to have a job in England

The line graph gives information about the percentage of younger people who were unemployed in four different groups in the UK from 1993 to 2012.

It is noticeable that each category experienced general fluctuations during the 19-year period, and the young adults who is 16-24 years of age in London were the most majority. The amounts of categories of aged 16-24 in Britain were upward, whereas the percentages of groups of overall in England were downward.

Specifically, there were about 22 per cent of people in group of aged 16-24 in London in 1993, and the figures for this group peaked at 25 per cent in 2012. The number of aged 16-24 in the rest of England accounted of approximately 17 per cent, and reached to a little more than 20 per cent. On the contrast, there was a gradual drop in group of overall in London from roughly 15 per cent to just under 10 per cent, as well as the group of overall in rest of England from 10 per cent to around 8 per cent during the period.

I am not good in English language but I want to give an advice. I think that it is important to understand the graph. I read some introductions written on this section about this task, unfortunately some introductions goes to another direction. It does not relate to the graph. I think that if we write the introduction as simply as we can without adding any details that does not relate to the graph is better than otherwise.

Tra Pham, it supposed to be who as you said, not which as I wrote. My bad! Thank you for mentioning it! :)

@liliana. By 2012, unemployment rate ...has reached its peak. In 2012, unemployment rate reached its peak. Give me an advice because I'm pretty sure that Simon taught us about this.

The given chart indicates the proportions of young people who were unemployed in the UK from 1993 to 2012.

In 1993, the unemployment rate of 16-to-24 teenagers in London was high at around 22%, whereas that in the rest of England was only about 17%. Afterwards, these two figures dropped with some fluctuations and reached their lowest points of 15% in London and 12% in the rest of England in 2002. Subsequently, the percentage of unemployed youngsters in London skyrocketed to the peak of 25% in 2012 compared to the related figure for the rest of England at almost 20% in the same year.

The total unemployment rate in London and the rest of England were at approximately 14% and 10% in 1993 respectively. There was a quite large difference between them. Then, they both declined moderately. Until 2012, the figure for London and the rest of England stood at around 8% to 9% , whose percentages were similar.

In conclusion, it is clear that London had the most serious unemployed problem in the whole England throughout the period. Besides, young adult was the main people without a job between 1993 and 2012.

The line graph compares the proportion of unemployed youngsters aged 16-24 in England over a period of 19 years.

Over the whole period given, the unemployment rate, among specified age group, in both of London and rest of England had increasing trend whereas, the figures for overall London and overall rest of England had decreasing trend.

In 1993, around 22% of young people in London were unemployed. This figure was more than twice as much as the figure recorded for overall rest of England. The proportion of unemployed individuals in London and rest of England, on the other hand, were close together, with 14% and 17% respectively. The figures for all categories were then sharply decreased until 1999.

Between 1999 and 2004, while the number of jobless individuals in London was experiencing fluctuations, the figures in other categories leveled off. In the year 2012, after more than 10 years of considerable fluctuations, London reached its highest number of unemployed young people, at 25%. The rest of England had the second highest number, with 20% of jobless youngsters. The figures for overall London and overall rest of England, however, reached their lowest point, with almost 9% and 7% respectively.


Band 7+

The line graph compares the unemployment rate of young workforces in London and the rest of England.

Overall, there was an increasing trend in the unemployment rate of young adults in London and the remaining cities. In contrast, the overall unemployment figures for London and the rest of England experienced a decline trend.

In 1993, the percentage of unemployed young workforces stood at nearly 22%, while the figure for young adults in the remaining cities was about 5% lower, at 18%. Both numbers decreased gradually before it started to grow considerably in 2002. By 2012, the unemployment rate for both groups reached to its highest number of 25% and 20% respectively.

The percentage of overall employment rate in London dropped quickly from just under 15% in 1993 to nearly 7% in 2001, and it then fluctuated with moderation over the remaining period to finish to approximately 9% in 2012. Similarly, the overall employment rate for rest of England shared the same pattern, with the number declining from 10% in 1993 to 7% in 2012.

The line graph shows the unemployed percentage in different ages people in England between 1993 to 2012.
It is clear that in this graph above sixteen years and we can see four line rate.The highest unemployed rate was 25% at 2012 and 16 to 24 aged people in London.In this case we can also see the lowest rate was under 15% at 1999 at the same aged.On the other hand overall London unemployed was 15% on 1993 and 1997 to 2012 in these time unemployed rate was almost average.At the final position overall rest of the England on 1993 unemployed rate was 10% and after 15 years later it is below 10%. Another aged was 16 to 24 rest of the England between 2001 to 2003 unemployed rate was stable.
In the conclusion,the over all figure unemployed was the greatest matter in England and only 16 to 24 aged people at the end was decreased unemployed.

Hi Simon, I found too many information in this graph, could you please explain how to decide which ones are essential?

The graph compares the unemployment rates of 16 to 24 years old London young citizens over a period from 1993 to 2012 with other three groups of people in England, namely same aged young citizens from the rest of England, all aged population of London and the rest of England.

Generally speaking young people were more likely to be unemployed and living in London was connected with higher probability of out of work. Furthermore, young people from London had the highest unemployment rates.

For all the four groups, the changes of unemployment rates can be roughly divided into two distinct phases; the first decline phase and the second increase phase. The lengths of each phase were slightly different among the groups. In other words, young adults from places other than London had the shortest first phase, from 1993 to 2001, which was closely followed by young adults and all population of London by one more year, while the population of the rest of England lastly finished their first phase in 2004.

The unemployment rate for London young citizens was kept above all the other groups. In 1993, it was 22 per cent, which was respectively five per cent, eight per cent, and 12 per cent higher than young people from other places, overall London citizens and overall England population. By the end of this 20-year period, the gap between the two young people groups was kept at five per cent, with both groups’ rates rising three per cent. Nevertheless, the gap between young people and general population was enlarged. In 2012 young people were twice likely to be unemployed than general population.

The line figure compares the trends unemployment rate on young workforce in London and the rest of England over twenty years.

In 1993, young adults unemployment rate in London was 22%, then gently declined to 15% in 2002. However, it had been raising until reached the peak at 25% in 2012;. The trend of the rest of young people in England were similar as young Londoners which less 5% than London's teenagers of the rate as average.

In overall age groups, Londoners was a little bit higher unemployment rates than the rest of England's people from 1993 to 2012. There was approximately 15% unemployed London adults and 10% for England's people. The unemployment rates slightly reduced though 1003 to 2004 and reached the bottom at 4% in 2004 of England's workforce. Moreover, the rates were increased to 8% in 2012.

In conclusion, the overall trends of different age groups and region people in England were similar and age 16-24 remain the highest unemployment rates from 1993 to 2012.

Simon
Please give your sample answer to this essay task. Thanks alot.

A glance at the graph provided reveals information that the percentage of unemployment in young adults in England over a nine-teen year period between 1993 and 2012.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there was a fluctuating trend in the number of people who unemployed of young adults over the whole period given. It is also noticeable that the trend is similar for the all four categories mentioned.

Looking at the details, at regards in 1993, the largest proportion of unemployed people aged 16-24 lived in London,the overall rest of England accounted to 22% and 10% respectively. There was a slight dip in 2002 with the percentage of unemployed people aged 16-24 felt into under 15%. After that, having risen exponentially in the following year and reached at 25% in 2012.

If we look at the aged 16-24 rest of England, the figure was similar trend. Starting at 17%, the second highest compared to two line remain. There was also slight dip in 2001 with around 11%. After that, having grown remarkably following years and finished at over 20% in 2012.

By contrast, with two graphs remain, there was a gradual decline over the period. Although, there was a slight dip in period between 2000 and 2005. After that rising again gradually, the overall London and overall rest of England leveled off at 9% and 7% respectively.

The line graph compares the proportion of unemployment rates among young adults and rest of England over a period of 20 years from 1993 to 2012. It is clear that the overall trend of four categories are almost similar,although the unemployment rate in London was higher than rest of the England throughout the period.

The line graph illustrates the trend of unemployed young individuals in London and the rest of England from 1993 to 2012.

Overall, it can be seen that London has the highest unemployment rate from the given time frame. It is also noticeable that the trend of unemployed young adult in London and England are fairly the same as well as the overall rate for both areas.

To begin, there were 22% unemployed young adults in London in 1993, around 5% difference from England. The proportion of unemployed young adults in both area experienced a significant fall at the beginning of 2000. the unemployment rate of England and London rose significantly and finished at 20% and 25% respectively.

The overall unemployed in London's workforce stood at just below 15%, compared to only 10% in England. Both location experienced a drop in unemployment rate, 2% loss noted on England's unemployment rate while a massive 5% decline in London which finished at 9% in 2012..


------please help!!! I need to get 7 in writing and I always get 6 on it----

s

Hi
I have a question, can I start my introduction by using these kind of phrases: "In the illustrated line graph, the trend of unemplyment....." ?


The line graph compares the percentage of unemployed young adults in London and the rest of England from 1993 to 2012.

It is noticeable that while there was a decline to the figures for the overall unemployement rate in London and the remaining cities over the period shown, there was an increase in the trend of unemployed young individuals in London and the rest of England. Overall, the figures for young adults in London had the highest unemployment rate in all groups.

In 1993, the proportion of unemployed British people aged 16 to 24 accounted for about 22%, while the percentage of young English people who did not have work was lower, at about 18%. Both figures experienced a decline before they started to gradually rise in 2002. By 2012, the figures reached their highest peak, at 25% and 20%, respectively.

By contrast, the percentage rate of the overall unemployment rate in London plummeted down from just under 15% in 1993 to about nine percent in 2012. The figures for the overall unemployment rate in the rest of England saw a similar trend from 10% in 1993 to about 7 in 2012.

Hi simon,
Kindlly assess write up or give a sample answer for correction, thanks

The line graphs compares the variations in unemployment rate among all including young people aged 16-24 in England over a nineteen year period.

It is noticeable that the trend (downward-upward)for the four selected categories are quite similar. However,the London group aged 16-24 records the highest proportion of job seekers over the entire period.

The percentage of young people not working in England and London, similarly decreased gradually over the first nine years from around 22% and 17% respectively in 1993 to 15% and just over 10% in 2002, a decrease of 7%. However, despite fluctuations in the trend, values rose steadily to their highest points in 2012 at 25% and 20% respectively.

The proportion of total non-working population in London and England started off at just under 15% and 10% respectively in 1993, with a steady decline over the first eight years, then levelling off at 7% and 5% between 2001 and 2006. Following this, was a slight increase over the rest of the period with values remaining at just under 10% for both groups.

177words.

Dear simon,

why did you use wıth for "with just under 15%." instead of "at " ?

The line graph illustrates the variation in the unemployment proportion of the young from 16 to 24 years old in England over the period from 1993 to 2012

I want to see

The line graph compares 16 to 24-year old people with the rest of adults in terms of the percentage of unemployment over the period of 20 years in London and the rest of England, from 1993 to 2012.
It is apparent that the number of jobless people at the age of 16-24, regardless of their residence, illustrated high rates, while for other individuals, it demonstrated low rates over the period shown.
In 1993, the proportion of people without a job who age 16-24 in London and the rest of England was about 22% and 17% respectively. By contrast, the respect numbers of jobless individuals in the aforementioned regions were approximately 14% and only 10%. Over the following 8 years, levels of unemployment saw a slight fall of 10% amongst citizens from all groups.
By 2012, the percentage of unemployed young adults living in London had risen to about 25%, and others in this age group residing in England had increased to almost 21%. Moreover, between 2001 and 2005, the unemployment rates for dwellers in London and the remainder of England remained relatively stable at around 7% and 5% respectively and by the year 2012, there had been a nearly 3% increase in the unemployment percentage of each 2 categories.

Hello dear simon.
Do we have the structure"reached a low of" or " reached a low at"? Whats the difference? What should come after? The exact number or the amount of decline?
Thanks alot.

The graph reveals the percentage of young people living in England who were unemployed from 1993 to 2012.
It is noticeable that the nation saw considerable fluctuations and similar trend in all categories, with lows during the period of 1997 to 2008.
Gradually decreasing from nearly 22% to less than 15% between 1993 and 2002, the unemployed aged 16 to 24 in London then increased dramatically over the remainder, with the peak of 25% in 2012. Meanwhile, there was a downward trend in the overall unemployment rates in England, from nearly 14% in 1993 to 7% in 2008. The percentage then went up to approximately 10% in 2012.
There was a sustained decline in the rest of young adults aged 16-24 having no jobs in England, with 17% in 1993 and 11% in 2004, before a sharp increase to 20% in 2012. The percentage in the rest of England fell slightly and gradually from 10% in 1993 to less than 5% in 2005, and then rose dramatically over the rest time surveyed with its peak in 2011.

The comments to this entry are closed.