IELTS Writing Task 1: different introductions

Have you ever tried writing several different introductions for the same question? It's a useful exercise. Take this question for example:

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

(Cambridge IELTS 4, page 31)

Here are 3 introductions that paraphrase the question in different ways. Notice that I sometimes use words from the table to help me.

1) The chart compares percentages of Australians from six different family types who were classed as poor in 1999.

2) The table gives information about poverty rates among six types of household in Australia in the year 1999.

3) The table compares different categories of Australian families in terms of the proportion of people living below the poverty line in each one.

Comments

[maja]

MY EXAMPLE:

The table describes percentage of six different types of Australian families who lived poor on this continent in 1999.

[maja]

MY EXAMPLE:
The table describes percentage of six different types of Australian families who lived poor on this continent in 1999.

[marja23]

The table compares to the percentages of various types of Australian families who were living below the poverty line in 1999.

[Common]

the table presents the rate of 6 different family groups living under poor conditions in Australia in 1990

[tuan]

thanks Simon

[Sai Pradeep Dandem]

Hi All, I am practicing writing task 2. Below is my sample essay for the given topic. Can someone evaluate and let me know what improvements can be done to this essay. (Or what the essay lacks)
Topic:
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Essay:
People have different views about teaching foreign language in primary schools. Though there are good arguments about learning foreign language in secondary school, I personally believe that adding second language in the primary school timetable will benefit the child’s personal and career growth.
On one hand, there are good arguments that teaching a foreign language at primary school age will make the child not to concentrate more or master his first language. Secondly, a foreign language may confound the child at this early stage of education. In addition, there are other important subjects which the child needs to be focused more than a foreign language. For example, allowing a child to solve some simple logical puzzles will allow his logical understanding and problem solving techniques, which will not be the case in foreign language learning.
On the other hand, learning a new foreign language increases the child's ability to learn new things. Also it allows the child to have a scope to learn more foreign languages in future. Speaking of other advantages, recent studies had proved that learning a foreign language in early stages of education will build the confidence of the child when he enters into adolescence. Finally, a bi-linguist student in primary education will encounter fewer problems when he enters in secondary school where he has to study the foreign language. Not being trained to learn a foreign language at early stage, the student may struggle hard to understand in later stages.
In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of learning foreign language in primary school. In my opinion, the advantages are more significant than the disadvantages making foreign language learning as advisable. The disadvantages should be thought of as a certain price that parents or children need to pay due to the characteristics of the world that we live in.

[deepak rana]

The table demonstrate about the deference between six family category of Australian family living under poverty in 1999

[Emre]

The chart compares the percentages of Australians living in poverty in six family types in 1999.

[ali]

The table compares the percentage of Australians living below the poverty line in six different family types in 1999.

[ali]

The chart compares different Australian family types in terms of the proportions of people living below the poverty line in each category.

[ziaul huda]

Here is my response to this task 1 question. comments are welcomed.
The table gives the information about the percentage of six different Australian household living under poverty line iin he year 1999.
It is clear that byfar sole parent type of family has the highest number of proportion of people(ie 21%), while the least populor catageory being the eldely couple(ie4%).
There were all household 11%, which makes a total of 1,837,000. Out of which there were bachelor older person were 6%, and the aged couple were 48,000. Next,single without children were considerably higher in proportion with 19% of the total 359,000.
Also, the percentage of couple wotout children was 7%, and the figure for sole parent was 232,000. The remaining couple with children saw a significant increase in the percentage by 12%.

[huy nguyen]

The detailed information about the percentage of some distinct types of families living in poor condition in Australia in 1999 is demonstrated by the allocated table.

[Daria]

Hi, Simon! Is it appropriate to write that families are "living below the poverty line", if it is written in the task just "in poverty"?

[Ly]

hi Simon,
Firstly, i would like to say thank you due to what you are doing to help students worldwide.

I am going to take an Ielts test next week and I get confused in the task 1:
How to use the phrase: " BE RESPONSIBLE OF" in describing line graphs bar charts or table
Is it correct to write:

Japan is responsible of the highest number over the years with roughly 30% in terms of unemployment rate.

Can you give me an example of good sentence to use this mentioned phrase?
Thanks so much!

[ziaul huda]

MR. LY
We cam write this better in this way.
Japan is the most populor country over the period mentied in terms of proportion of unemployment with nearly 30%.

[arthur]

The table compared six types of families in term of living condition

[muffle]

Hi Simon,

Hope you can write a full essay about this topic or at least an overview. I find it hard to write the overview for this kind of topic.

[Hadi]

The table compares the percentage of families who lived under poverty line and categorized in six types of household family in Australia in 1999.
According to the information provided, in 1999, 11% of Australia population with more than 1.8 million people lived under poverty line. Sole parent is far highest and aged couple is far lowest rate among the other household types family.
It is clear that 21% of sole parents with more than 230 thousand people lived under poverty line in Australia. Single, no children families with 19% and couple with children families with 12% prospectively are located in 2th and 3th place.
It seems that the chance of poverty in elderly persons is lower than the others. Only 4% of age couple families with 48 thousand people, and 6% of Single aged person with 54 thousand people lived under pursuer of poverty in 1999.

[Duong]

The chart has showed that there are some difference about percentage of people living under poverty line

[hoang]

the table gives information about the proportion of people who were in 6 different types of australian family in 1991
as can be seen, the sole parent had the by far largest percentage of people with 21%, comprising 232000 people, closely followed by the single person without children, with 19%. while only 4% of older couple with 48000 people living in poverty.
although the proportion of people who are in couple with children was third more than that in family type of older couple, it had the third biggest percentage of people in total.
besides that, the number of people of this survey reached nearly 2 million, making of 11%. however, according to the data, we can realize that it was easy for many family types of couple to become poor household in 1999.

[Elly]

Simon, why didn't you put 'the' in front of 'percentages of Australians' in the 1) sentence you made?? I am still very confused about when I have to put 'the' and when I shouldn't....Could you please explain about this??

[maha]

The table gives the information regarding the percentages of poor families belonging to different categories in Australia in the year 1999.

[Roberta Mori]

Here my essay.
Please give me an answer.

The table chart gives information about the use of several mobile phone features in terms of the percentages of each functions considering the years: 2006 ,2008 and 2010.
It is clear that the main use of a phone has been “make calls”. However, it is better to point out that the slight decrease shown in the year 2010 is likely a signal of a change in action. In addition, it is noticeable that phone users had intensified all the other features by the year 2010.
As a consequence of the recent fast development and improvement of technology, it is possible to understand why for the first year (2006) the table doesn’t show any data for “Search the Internet” and for “Record video”. Moreover, for the same year, the percentages for “Play games” and “Play music” were still low, probably because of the same reason formerly explained.
Compared to “make calls”, which shows a slight decrease in 2010, almost the other features have an increasing trend. However, it is interesting to note that “play games” had a sharp increase (more than double) passing from 17% to 42% in the first two years considered, whereas it falls little in last year. “Play music” is the least used function both in 2006 and 2010 whereas this role is covered by “Record video” in 2008

[Sriharsha]

Hi Simon,

Could you please evaluate my essay and give me the band score for the same

The table illustrates the proportion of six different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Looking at the figures it can be depicted that the categories "couple with children","single,no children","sole parent" would be the top 3 categories with more number of people living in poverty.
While the categories "single aged person" and "aged couple" are having by far the least number of people living in poverty.

21% of the "Sole Parent" category are living in poverty, where as the figures for "single,no children" and "couple with children" are 19% and 12% respectively. The category "couple with children" has the highest number of people living in poverty which is figured to 111960.By contrast, "aged couple" have the lowest figure of 1920.

The overall households living in poverty settled at 11% in a total of 1,837,000 which is fugured to around 200,000.

[sony]

The table compares the percentage of different groups of Australian families below poverty line in 1999.
kindly correct me ..
seeking help from everyone
tx u

[khay]

can this be possible?
The graph gives information on the different family types in Australia and the corresponding percentage who lives in poverty in year 1999.

[toan]

The table gives information comparing percentages of Austrlian from six types of family living under poverty line in 1999.

[ashik]

The chart shows the proportion of several distinct of families living in poor in Australia in 1999.
In this table there has six family type's and percentage of people from each household sort living in poverty.It's clear that only one year measurement in this table.First of all the aged couple was the lowest percentage and it was 48000.On the other hand sole parent is the highest percentage of poverty and the number was 232000.By contrast single aged person and couple which no children was same percentage.Finally all households reached 11 percentage Nd it was 1837000.
To the conclude Australian poverty condition was not good in 1999.

[Ali]

The table illustrates information about different types of families in Australia in terms of proportion of people living below the poverty line in 1999.

It can be clearly seen that proportion of people from sole parent had highest percentage ,while aged couple comprised lowest percentage of Australians. It is also noticeable that there was obvious difference among numbers and percentages of people living in poverty

Regarding main features of table, sole parent had by far the highest percentage of people with 21%,comprising 232 000.closely followed by single parent without children with 19%, while only 4 % of aged couple with 48000 living in poor.

Although there were 12% of Australian families with couple with children, comprising 933 000 which was the highest number in the table except all households, only 7 % of proportion of families stood at for couples without children. The proportion of Single Australians without children living below poverty was fifth as high as aged couples in the period shown in the table.

[Max]

Hi Simon

I don't understand why you use "percentages" in the first introduction. I also found some samples you sometimes use" the percentage of","the number of" or "the quantities of",but in the questions, it is"the percentages of","the numbers of " or "the quantities of".

[xoi]

The table gives information about the percentage of poor people from six different types of households in Australia in 1999

[Behnam]

1)The table compares the figures for different types of family in terms of poverty in Australia in 1999.

2)The table gives information about poverty distribution among different types of families in Australia in 1999.