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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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Hi Simon,

I wrote an introduction of this topic.

In the contemporary world, the human race has entered the era of globalisation. People trade and communicate without boundries. Here I will discuss the pros and cons of globalisation and it turns out that the benefits far outweigh its drawbacks.

Thank you!

Hi, Simon.
could you give me some suggestions on the following question.
In today's world, it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific research.
To what extend do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages.
Regards

Thought to share my comments:

Firstly,I do not agree that advantages outweigh drawbacks:

Points: Private companies:

Private companies intention is to increase sales, so they carry out research to generate public interest.

They use this research to endorse their products. For this purpose they pay large sum of money to researchers who conducts research projects.

These companies also have wider network and expertise to carry out research.

On the other hand,
Govt research will be unbiased.

Their intention is to guard public, so they do not have any self interest, unlike private companies.

They can also potray to public both positives and negatives of research to make public their own judgement.

Please feel free to share any other comments.

Sachin

Hi Simon,

I wrote some ideas of adverb's topic

I believe that the benefits may never make up for the drawbacks. The reasons are following:

First, private companies are more interested in the projests which could bring immediate profit to them. So the foundational research is nomally ignored and rarely invested by them.

Secondly, private companies ordinarily chase interest for themselves and do not care about others' interest. So some of the outcomes carried out by their research are adverse to public.

Hi Jean, Adverb and Sachin

It's great to see students using the comments area to help each other!

Jean's introduction for the globalisation topic is really good. Both Sachin and Jean's ideas for Felora's topic are perfect - I don't really need to add anything!

Keep up the good work guys

Simon

Hi Simon

I find your website is very helpful.

Im confused if the following sentence I made is correct. Can you help me with that?

Globlisation promotes the growth of cross-cultural contacts, for instance, the greater international tourism, thereby encouraging the peace between people.

Hi, Simon.
In the following sentence,is it OK to omit the "to" before "force"?
Governments should introduce laws to limit emissions from factories and to force companies to use renewable energy.

Hi Fiona,

Some small changes: I wouldn't say "growth of contacts", "THE tourism" or "THE peace".

Maybe you could write: "Globalisation promotes greater contact between cultures through activities such as international business and tourism, thereby encouraging peace between nations."

I'm glad you find the site helpful.

...

Hi Adverb,

Yes, it doesn't make much difference if you use or omit the word "to". I'd probably include the "to" just for clarity.

All the best

Simon

Hi Simon,

Could you pleae explain why you used 'relationships' and not 'relations'?

Thank you!

Hi, Simon.
Is it Ok to say" In areas where the televised broadcasts are low"
Can I use "low" here?

Is it OK to use" perhaps" in writing?

Thanks

Hi Julia,

You can use either 'relations' or 'relationships'. Both are fine.

...

Hi Adverb,

No, "low" seems strange here. You would need to write something like "the number of... is low".

"Perhaps" is an excellent word to use.

All the best

Simon

Thank you. Simon.

No problem Adverb

Thank you for your help, Simon

No problem Fiona.

Thank you. Simon.

No problem Vahid

Hi Simon,

Could you please make it clear - is this an "Opinion" or "Agree/Disagree" type of Task 2 IELTS Writining question?

Hi Elly,

Good question! I would treat this as a "discuss both views and give your opinion" question. I'd give both sides, but also make it clear which side is my view.

Dear Simon,

Many thanks for your answer!

No problem Elly.

Hi Simon
Thank u for your efforts
I am wondering do i lose marks if I just talk about the benefits ?? I took my exam 2 days ago and I just mentioned the benefits with good examples
thanx again

Hi Jojo,

For questions that ask "do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks" I would normally discuss both sides and make it clear which one outweighs the other (i.e. my opinion about whether there are more positives or negatives).

However, it is possible to answer with only the benefits if you make it clear that you believe there are many benefits and no drawbacks. This is not what I usually recommend, but it's still possible to get a good score using this approach if you wrote 2 good paragraphs about the benefits.

Thanx Simon for your reply
regards

hi Simon
please explain alittle more about globalization and political relationships.
thanks so much

Hi Goli,

Try this lesson too:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/09/ielts-listening-globalisation.html

Hi Simon,
You mentioned that either American English or British English spelling is fine in the IELTS test. But in my country, someone told me that it will lose scores if I use both of them in one essay. I think it is a bit stricter. Is that true?

Hi Lei,

It's best to stick to one spelling system (rather than mix both). However, this is a small issue that won't really affect your score.

Hi Simon,

In your eBook, I doubt that "McDonalds can be seen on high streets in most cities" is a positive of globalisation.

Please consider this.

Cheers.

Hi Simon,

Could you please help me about the the advantages and disadvantages of globalization to the world economy?? I'm really confused when I tried to write an essay about this one...

Thank you in advance

Hi Jenzky,

The lesson above is all about that topic.

Hello Simon,

I bought your e-book few days ago and now I'm struggling with how to connect these ideas to one perfect paragraph.

Not to mention of bodies, I have no idea how to start. I just wrote 'In modern society, it is common to see that' and failed to move on.

HELP ME PLEASE T_T

Hi Suna,

Try doing what I do in the lesson linked below:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/01/ielts-writing-task-2-using-the-ebook.html

Remember that the ebook gives you ideas for "main body" paragraphs, not for introductions or conclusions (you don't really need ideas for these - just look for some of the lessons I've done here on the blog if you want to work on introductions or conclusions).

Hope this helps

It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalisation outweigh the drawbacks?

This essay is not about positive or negative features but which one is better. So I assume candidates will lose score just by writing few ads and disads and then generalising it.

To get a task response 9 band score, candidate must contrast and show the variance that balance out the other side.Alternatively it can be compared and concluded as ' no difference therefore (:DISAGREE)'.

POSSIBLE FORMAT IS :

INTRO ( As usual --> paraphrase the question_+ signal)

Body 1 : merits 1 and 2
demerits 1 and 2 ( just state those-- no need to explain)

Body 2: merit -1 vs demerit 1 or 2 --> contrast : = show the variance with a reason and convince that one side is better or outweigh the other one.

Body 3: do the same as body-1 but do the other merit and demerit.

conclusion: sum up and say which one balances out the other one.

You may go for similarity in the 3rd body but the conclusion will be = no difference.But if you use inductive style such as 'A' side outweighs 'B' sides (in your 2 bodies), then sum up and state A side is better.

Avoid non-sequitur as you will lose mark in the coherence and task response sections.

Remember, these are the questions where students will not achieve 9 band in Task response and Coherence. You have no idea in which section you will lose scores because IELTS only provide you an whole band system which is their secret. This way IELTS makes heck a lot of ...... They want students to think of they lost in the IELTS test because of their grammar and vocabulary.

A poor sojourner.

excellent

Hi Simon,

Please correct me if I am wrong. So for this kind of essay, I will need to state my view in the introduction, benefits of globalisation in second paragraph and drawbacks of it in the following paragraph. Lastly, the conclusion is in the fourth paragraph.

Thank you.

Hi Simon,
I'm struggling with IELTS writing test. I find your website really useful for those who study by themselves like me. This is the first times I post a comment on this. Hopefully to get your response and others for correcting below essay about globalization topic.
Thanks so much!
----------------
It is true that globalization is becoming increasingly vehement that make all of the nations over the world mutually closer than ever. While I accept that this trend could bring societies about some negative impacts, I believe that it is more likely to be a positive tendency.

On the one hand, globalization could be not beneficial for societies in some ways. Firstly, local employees might be exploited by foreign companies looking for a cheap labour in less developed countries. They tend to hire manual labour with unclear terms and conditions of contracts, these workers would be under a pressure of long shift and threat of unsafe environment. Secondly, this trend of development could extremely contribute to creating more waste and pollution. Many developing nations are struggling against factories which are the poor quality of waste processing system as a result of a lack of control over foreign investment.

However, I would argue that above drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits. People now could have access to global brands easily, regardless of their place of living, because trading and manufacturing are globalized. Multi – national companies could do business across the world, their products could be more competitive with a lower price on invested market because of using local labour and materials. The rise in foreign investment can help to reduce the unemployment rate, in turn poverty and social problems. Furthermore, globalization can strengthen political relationships. A strong connection of economy in which they are mutually beneficial, two nations could become more peaceful and friendly in their policy to other.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of globalization are more vital than the possible downside.

Sir, How do you evaluate my work? I have made this based on your ideas and with the help of Jean's comment. I will be very pleased if you tell me where I need to improve?


In the contemporary world, the human race has entered the era of globalisation. People trade and communicate without boundaries. Here I will discuss the pros and cons of globalisation and it turns out that the benefits far outweigh its drawbacks.

The first point to make is that there are some downsides to this process of globalisation, but these are relatively minor. The most significant of these disadvantages is that globalisation can also lead to unemployment and exploitation. As most of companies want to establish their factories in developing countries where labour is cheap, it creates lower chance of employments in companies’ homeland out of having fewer mills. That leads to job losses. In addition, some companies exploit their employees by providing them low salary which is not really reasonable with their hardship works and low quality of working conditions. Furthermore, sometimes global trade causes excessive waste and pollution.

In contrast, there are more major points to make in favour of this process. Firstly, business is now not surrounded by national borders, it is becoming increasingly international and this is called global economy that means free trade between countries. One key benefit of this practice is this can strengthen political relationships which is very important to reach an agreement about any global crisis such as climate change. Secondly, globalization can also create opportunities for employment by encouraging investment in less developed countries. Therefore, a large proportion of unemployed people of these countries can have the opportunity to remove their unemployment. Finally, it could reduce poverty in the developing world and maintain a significant role on those countries’ economy.

In conclusion, although globalization has some negative effects on salaries and working environment, these must be weighed against the political and economic benefits that globalisation offers. In my opinion, I feel that these benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Introduction only,

Technology advancements has led to a more connected world than ever before, and globalisation is increasing at an incredible pace. while there are some disadvantages to globalisation, in terms of trade and communication, i believe that the advantages are far more.

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