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Thursday, June 21, 2018

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The presented maps illustrated the changes which are predicted to take place in a small town named Islip in the future.
As can be seen from the diagrams, the most important change is that the urbanization will be take place in the town in the future. There'll be more and more accommodation and a lot of other modern facilities for the residence....

I can see five changes on the 'planned development' diagram.
1. There is a dual carriageway.
2. The park gets smaller.
3. Pedestrians way replaces main road.
4. There are two areas for new housing.
5. Bus station, shopping centre and car park are builted.

Dear Simon,
May I say that I don't see countryside area on the 'planned development' diagram?

Dear Simon,

I've already commenced watching your video lessons. I'm so content to report that they give me a sense of confidence and peace of mind! However, my primary concern is that how my written essays are going to be evaluated as I do not work with any tutor. Secondly, I've invested over 2 years preparing for IELTS, and I think I need to get it done and over as soon as possible.

I was wondering if you could kindly provide some feedback on my performance! What do you recommend?

My Skype ID is fhorizen.

There are 7 changes in new development of Islip
1)There is now a ring road
2)There is movement for pedestrian only in the centre instead of main road.
3)To the north of the pedestrian,there are now bus station,car park and new housing
4)In the southern part of it,there is a development of new housing
5)There is a way to go for new house in norther n side from the ring road
6)The road is connected between school and park
7)There is dual carriageway to the side of School.

ring road and dual carriageway are the same .

To me:
- The whole town is wrapped by a new dual carriageway
- The main road is turned into pedestrian path.
- Shops and the countryside to the north of the town are replaced by bus station, shopping centre, car park and new housing area.
- Southern housing are partially renovated and expanded.
- The Park is narrowed down.

Trang Nguyen

wrapped -> ringed

If a new road for through traffic is only half a ring, the term is "bypassed".

- the countryside will be removed
- a shopping center with a bus station and a new car park will be constructed in the North of the town.
- the main road is going to be car-free. Instead, vehicles can only run on the outside of the town centre on the new dual carriageway.
- More housings are going to be added to the town infrastructure
- Both the school and the Southern park are planned to be partly destroyed.


traffic: improvement in roads
a 2-way ring road to be added around the shops
pedestrian path added to connect the whole shopping area
traffic: improvement in other facilities
car park to be added
bus station to be added
shops
one row of shops to be moved downwards
one row to be turned into a shopping center
other small changes
park narrowed
several new house to be constructed
overall
environment has been turned into a shoppers' paradise with strong traffic access and considerately-designed distribution of shops

In term of circulation, the linear main road in current planning will be replaced by a circular loop.

The single lane-way will be integrated with dual carriageway,as a result, it will enhance the fluency from both East and West.

In term of site planning, the countryside on northern side will be proposed as new commercial and residential zone, and serve with public amenity, such as shopping center, bus station and car park. While the size of parking area on the south will be reduced and further developed as residential area.

Cars are prohibited from entering the previous main road, and the road is used as pedestrian pathway only.

Dear Simon:

Changes:

-Country side will be removed and the area will be superseded with new items
Park will be turned into a quite smaller one.-
-More land will be allocated to new housing both in the northern and southern parts
-main road will be changed completely to a dual carriageway
-bus station, shopping Centre, and car park are planned to be added in the new city plan
- Main road in central parts will be changed into residential and commercial areas


Some useful collocations and expressions:

To undergo enormous changes
To introduce a couple of new facilities
To experience a plethora of changes
To supersede something with something else
To be halved into


Business district
A built-in area

please check for me. Thanks so much

The diagrams provide information about the layout of Islip town centre nowadays and its planned design in the future.
It can be seen easily from the two maps that there are significant changes between Islip town center’s recent design and its planned improvement. And it seems like that in the future, the contre of Islip town will become more convenient and more modern thanks to the construction of many new buildings and new paths.
The most significant change is the appearance of Dual carriage way covering almost everything of Islip town center. In addition, a row of shops that is above original main way and original main way are anticipated to be replaced by bus station, shopping centre, car park and new housing. Moreover, A path called pedestrians only will be built for commuters from the new housing commuting among the shops, those facilities and be connected to Dual carriage way. An original park is expected to be smaller in order to make room for new housing.
As for the south of Islip town, there is no change in school and housing. However, an original countryside is planned to disappear with a purpose to save place for Dual carriageway construction.

The maps shows changes that is predicted to happen in the centre of a small town named Islip.

1, Main road will be replaced by car-free road.
2, A new dual carriageway is planned to ring the whole accommodation and facilities
3, In the north: Shops will be upgraded to Shopping centre, together with bus station, car park and new housing nearby.
4, In the south: the housing area will be extended, and the park area will be narrowed down.

Firstly,the road: line way to circle and dual carriageway.
Secondly,new house will be built in the northeast and southeast of the town.
Thirdly,the amount of shops will decrease,the countryside will disappear and the bus station,shopping centre,car park will be construct on the original location.
Forthly,the main road now will be used as pedestrians only.

suri evans:

->the present/current layout of Islip town centre. "Nowadays" is far less common than than "present" or "current". It is also more common in fiction than non-fiction. It tends to suggest some contrast with the past, rather than the future. Arguably, it is redundant, as the tense indicates what period is being referred to. Sometimes such adverbs are inserted into English by Chinese speakers because the adverb is needed in their own language.

2) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=It+can+easily+be+seen%2C+It+can+be+seen+easily&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CIt%20can%20easily%20be%20seen%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CIt%20can%20be%20seen%20easily%3B%2Cc0

The less common wording would be used to contrast with a situation where there was some difficulty in seeing.

3) Introductory sentence to second paragraph could be shorter: The redesign makes significant changes: the town center will become more accessible, ....

4) Leave one blank line between each paragraph to make your paragraphing clear: there are marks for paragraphing in cohesion.

5) The overview paragraph could read:
Overall, the proposed changes would seek to improve traffic flow around the town, and provide extra shopping and housing facilities.
The trick with the overview is not to give too much away: simply identify two general points, and provide the detail later.

6) If the two major features are (a) the ring-road and (b) the central development with shops and housing, then it makes sense to have two paragraphs after the overview, one dealing with traffic improvements, and one with shopping and housing. That way we are supporting the two major features identified in the overview.

Thus the third paragraph would describe the ring-road, closure of the high street to vehicles, and development of parking and bus station facilities.

The fourth para would refer to the new shopping centre and housing on what is now countryside: the technical word for this is a "greenfield" development. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/greenfield

7) Be wary of overdoing the linking adverbs at the beginning of the sentence (in addition, moreover): with careful planning they are unnecessary.

Thanks so much Gioletta

JennyHCMC,Vietnam:

See Gioletta's comment re "greenfield development".

@ Raheb:

I would suggest finding a local teacher who is in position to provide feedback on your writing, as it is fearfully difficult to get to the required standard without some professional feedback.

Thank you very much, Kata.
I have prepared for IETLS test since 2014. My aim is to get IELTS 7.5 for overall.

I'm unconfident in Writing task 1. Also, my academic vocabularies are limited.

I greatly appreciate all comments (from anyone) about my works.
I have just posted my preparation on Speaking Part 2 "Describe a time when you want to buy something special."

It would be great if you had a look that post.

Thanks and best regards,
Jenny

There is two visible change appear in the planned development map; first, the shops on the route above the main road will remove, second is parking plot will reduce to its extent.

But still, there are same before the under map, the shops, school and planned housing sector which bottom line of main road's location.

As what we can examine difference from the planned development, dual carriageway will be built instead of remain route of the main road, and it seems to be they trying to develop outlet department.

Newly, built building of bus station, shopping center, car park, pedestrian pavement, and two new plots for a residential area.

I wrote about above topic. I wish somebody will check my wrong parts.

@Jamie

1) Not sure whether you intended this to be a full Task 1 answer or not. If so, then we would need an intro and overview before getting to the detail:

There are two maps, the first shows ....

Overall, the proposed development will provide new facilities for ....

2) "There is are two ... ": subject/verb agreement. Suggest you automatically check this as you go.

3) "the shops on the route above the main road will be removed": "remove" is almost always a transitive verb in modern English. That is it must have an object or be passive.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/remove

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/remove

There are many verbs (like "change") in English which can be either transitive with an object or intransitive (without). There are just a very few pairs of verbs such as rise/raise, fall/fell, which have different forms depending.

4) "Park" in the diagram would refer to a green open space for recreation, not for cars. The idea that "the park will reduce its (own) extent" does not seem to correspond to modern English idiom. -> the extent of the park will be reduced.

There are verbs that can be used in this quasi-passive way: for instance "the window broke". See here:
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/middle_voice

4)-> The school, the shops on the south side of the main road, and the southern housing remain untouched.

5) -> A new ring-road will be built and the existing thru-route pedestrianized.

6) -> The area within the ring-road will also include a new bus station, shopping center, car park and new housing.

7) This is completely off-topic for task 1, as no comment or opinion is allowed, but it does look as if the children will have to cross the new dual carriageway to get to school.

@Hiro

About 4), it's unfortunate that I changed two parts at the last of correcting, "will be removed" and "will be reduced". I knew that it is right in my head but I wasn't sure about it to use frequent passive voice in one paragraph.

About 1), "two visible change" isn't a singular noun phrase? if it has to be plural shouldn't we put 's' behind the change? then we can put 'are', on the other hand I think I should've written in change as plural because of frontal word 'two'

Will it be better to use direction marks instead of prepositions such as 'under'?

Do I completely get rid of my opinion while writing Task1?

@Jamie
Re 1) Yes: there are two visible changes...

8) There are compass marks North/South/East/West on the diagram precisely to make things easier and clearer.

9) Task 1 requires a purely factual description without opinion, speculation or judgement. So it would be possible to state that access to the school in the new development would involve crossing the dual carriageway. However, your own ideas are not required, even if it is obvious that a simple by-pass to the north would be a better option.

@Hiro

Will it be positive in result that I use often idioms in paragraph?

I see, So Task 1 should be written in elements from each new assignment that they will given to you?

@Jamie

The requirement is for Task 1 to be written in a formal style, using appropriate natural phrases: this probably means idioms as such are a bad idea.

Suggest you click on IELTS Writing Task 1 on the left sidebar and review earlier lessons and model answers such as:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/05/ielts-writing-task-1-introduction-and-overview.html#comments

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/05/ielts-writing-task-1-the-overview-is-key.html#comments

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2015/08/ielts-writing-task-1-school-buildings-answer.html#comments

@Hiro

I really appreciate for your helps!
Hope you have a nice day!

Please check for me. Thanks a lot
Given are two diagrams illustrating that one is the current central area of the town of Islip, and the other is the designed plans for its future development.

Generally, it is obvious that the principal changes to the Islip will be the construction of the ring road surrounding the central area. In addition, a variety of developments will be more and more shops and housing along with the planned road.

Nowadays, the main road of the Islip goes through the central district from east to west. The suggested plans are that the original main road will be replaced by the road pedestrians only. However, there will be the dual carriageway ring road in the future, and enclosing the central place of the Islip.
Currently, the shops are accompanying the north and south sides of the main road. Unfortunately, the northern shops of the main road will disappear in the future, replaced by some constructions, such as bus station, shopping center, and parking lots. Besides, the size of the original park will decrease to a lesser degree. Instead, more and more hosing will be taken into consideration in the designed development.

If looked carefully there will be some changes in the Islip town.

In generally according the new plan, Islip city center will be developing. Several items will be added on the existing city plan. Although some buildings or centers place will not be change.

School, park area place will not be change. But School building and park area will be enlarged.

Main road between the shops at North side will be close for vehicle traffic, it will be used only as pedestrians walk way. Instead of this main road new dual carriageway will be done as round around the town center.

Countryside which is North side of town will be cancelled in the new city plan.

Shops area which is the North side at town will be rectified and added new places in there such as Bus station, shopping center, car park and new housing.

In the existing town there is two housing building. One of them is center, the other one is South side of the town. According the develop plan, apart from these additional two new housing will be added, one of them northeast side, the other one is southeast side.

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