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Thursday, May 10, 2018

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Which one is right??

In case of tow graphs.

1. The given pie charts shows......
2. The given pie charts show.......

We know subject is plural we use plural form of verb and when subject is singular we generally take singular form of verb. BUT,some argue that when we take (The given pies...) as a noun we must use singular form of verb.

Is it correct? In this situation we have to write.

For example, The given bar charts shows....

[introduction]
The given bar chart illustrates how many attendances in six different age groups to hospital emergency departments in Northern Ireland between December 2016 and December 2017.
[Overview]
Overall,the major group of visits was aged 75 and over throughout the period, while the smallest group was aged between 5 to 15.In addition, the numbers of three different age categories(people aged 16 to 44, 45 to 64 and 65 to 74) were quite similar over two years.

@Raju

"Pie charts" is termed a compound noun, that is, it is written as two words. However, English is not very consistent about whether things are written as two words or one. For example, "gear lever" is usually two words, but "gearstick", which is the same thing, is often one. The norm for "pie charts" is two words, but it might have been "piecharts" or "pie-charts", in which case it would be clear that "pie" acts like an adjective, and "charts" is the real noun, and being plural, there need be no "s" on the verb.

It is NOT normal to put "given" in front of the noun. It comes after. But in fact it is better without it, as the link below demonstrates: the pie charts show...

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=The+given+pie+charts+show%2CThe+given+pie+charts+shows%2Cpie+charts+below+show%2Cthe+pie+charts+show&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cthe%20pie%20charts%20show%3B%2Cc0

@Sakuna

See comments above re "given".

There is a verb missing: " how many attendances there were in ..."

"attendances" would be followed by "at" hospital emergency departments.

"the major group of visits was aged 75 and over": it was the visitors not the visits that were old.

"throughout the period ": which period? We have two separate months, not a whole year. Who knows what happened in the intervening Jan-Nov?

The last sentence refers to three categories being "similar over the two years": the implication is that the other two were not, which is just not true. The results for each and every category show little change when the two months are compared.

Dear Simon
The chart does not show from December 16 to December 17.
It's December 16 and December 17 , just two months.

Veda,

Yes I know, and we need to be careful about this point. However, I would still argue that the first sentence of my overview is correct.

Before I explain why, let's see if anyone else comments on this point. Can anyone explain why my use of "from... to" is accurate and acceptable?

There are two terms, "year-on-year" and "year-over-year", used to refer to this type of comparison where we have figures for two discrete months one year apart.

The explanation in the link below uses "between .. and" to refer to the months:

"But the year-over-year calculation showed that the number of employed people had increased 1.8 million between June 2010 and June 2011."

https://www.thebalance.com/year-over-year-yoy-growth-calculation-definition-3305970

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/year-over-year

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/year-over-year

The main point is to make clear that we are not reporting MAT (moving annual total) or TTM (trailing twelve months) figures, which represent an annual total.

https://www.pmlive.com/intelligence/healthcare_glossary/Terms/m/moving_annual_total_mat

http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/year-over-year-YOY.html

One way to make this clear is to include one of these phrases in our reporting. The introduction has already delineated the months in question so there is no need to repeat the month and year in the overview. Thus either:

... a slight year-on-year increase in the rate of hospital emergency care attendances among all six age groups.
OR
a slight increase in the rate of hospital emergency care attendances among all six age groups, year over year.

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22year+over+year%22&tbm=bks&ei=OY70WrOxKcf28QXtionYBQ&start=40&sa=N&biw=1222&bih=958&dpr=1

"The pace of export growth moderated at the end of the year, to 18.8 percent year-over-year in December, down from 59 percent year-over-year in May."

"...an immediate year over year reduction from 2001/02 of 46 per cent."

"On a year-over-year basis,..."

"...real GDP grew 2.6 percent year-over-year in the second quarter of 2014. "

"...have jumped by 66 percent in year-over-year holiday growth from 2000 to 2001."

Phrases from newspapers:

....growing faster than the New York Times’ (11% year over year,)...

...was up 14% on this time last year...

...first fall in year-on-year quarterly revenue ...

...is up 3% year on year.

The once relentless year-on-year rise of carbon dioxide ....

The company reported a 59% year-over-year increase in....

Veda &Simon:

"There is slightly increase from A to B."
This is a comparison between A and B and B is larger than A.The number of December 16 is larger than the number of December 17.So I think it is accurate and sensible to say A is December 16 and B is December 17.

Thank you for your examples Simon,here is my writing of both paragraphs:introduction and overview:

The bar chart tells the scale of attendees recorded by age ranges,received treatment services from emergency care departments within Northern Ireland in December 2016 and December 2017.

It clearly shows that there has been a small increase in the proportion of patients throughout all age groups between December 2016 and December 2017, a period of one year.The elderly and infants were those requiring emergency care more frequently than the other groups in both periods of time.

to answer this question" why my use of "from... to" is accurate and acceptable?"

because you begins the next sentence with "In both of those months, " so that is why it's accurate and acceptable. Am I right?

The bar chart illustrates the number of patients visited in six different age groups to accident and emergency care in Northern Ireland in December 2016 and 2017.
In general, there was increase of the attendants in emergency care departments of all age groups from december 2016 to December 2017. In addition to that, old people and young children were the most popular patients in both of those months.

@Rurad

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/popular#Adjective

Unfortunately, in the phrase "the most popular patients ", it sounds as if the very young and elderly had a fan base with the hospital staff, in the same way that a "pop" group is popular. The word you need is "frequent".

@Rurad

"attendants" would be like fight attendants, that is, medical orderlies, nurse aides, and similar staff, but not patients or visitors.

After increase, decrease, rise, fall, decline, growth, and similar, the usual preposition is "in", whereas "of " is generally only used to refer to the rate of increase. Thus there was an increase (of 2%) in attendances at emergency care departments.

The first sentence should read something like:
The bar chart compares the number of patients visiting (presenting themselves at) accident and emergency care departments in Northern Ireland in December 2016 and December 2017, broken down into six different age groups.

We need the word "departments" here, as otherwise "accident and emergency care" would also include first responders in the field from ambulances and so forth.

I have also inserted a second "December" to make it quite clear that we are comparing month to month, and not month to the whole year 2017.

Thanks @Khe

Is it okay if I use "admitted" instead of " went" ?...

eg.)1. People who were aged 75 and more went emergency care unit.

2. People who were aged 75 and more admitted in emergency care unit.

@Raju
meaning #5 here:

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/admit

https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22presenting+at+emergency%22&num=10

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&ei=3Xj2WvpuxcTSBNW3vPAK&q=%22presenting+to+emergency%22&oq=%22presenting+to+emergency%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...43751.45207.0.46223.4.4.0.0.0.0.201.592.0j2j1.3.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..1.0.0....0.FUP5qLMYKkw

https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22admitted+to+emergency%22&num=10

Thanks alot. Where can I find more of this so that I can post and get corrections

@Rurad

It might be a good idea to work back through the previous writing lessons and comments:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/ielts-writing-task-1/

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/ielts-writing-task-2/

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/05/ielts-grammar-vocabulary-correct-or-improve.html#comments

Can someone help my essay by correcting it? I would be so appreciated.

More people are interested in cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance.
Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

It is true that the considerable number of people tend to enhance their physical appearance by helping with cosmetic surgery. While some people stand against cosmetics surgeries strictly, I believe that it should be provided when people feel discomfort from the way that they look.

Plastic surgery could change the life of many people who are not blessed with a good looking. People who have misshapen body part like an ugly nose don't need to endure offensive and bad jokes throughout their all life. Sometimes people act mean even they don't aware of what they comment on. It could affect people who have insecure about a part of their body. Both confidence and self-love play an important role in human’s life. People become more willing to take on new challenges or take charge of their lifes in a whole new way by escalation of these feelings after the surgery.

In addition, some plastic surgery procedures can improve physical health as well as looks. For example, nose reshaping may improve breathing at the same time it improves the aesthetics of the nose. The positive results of the procedure may motivate the person to maintain completely new lifestyle. If person suits up the condition of getting surgical operation done, they should be free to make a decision about own body. The widespread of getting plastic surgery should be seen as a positive trend.

In conclusion, cosmetic surgery is a matter of choice. If you persuaded yourself to get one, I would say cosmetic surgery has a good impact on both appearance and quality of human life.

@BUG
"who are not blessed with a good looking": blessed with good looks.
https://www.google.com/search?q=%22blessed%20with%20good%20looks%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en

"don't": you should know what is wrong with this by now.

"they don't aware" -> they are not aware of

"have insecure" -> are insecure/ have an insecurity

"in human’s life." -> in human life.

"lifes" -> lives

"by escalation of" -> with the development of

"maintain a completely new lifestyle"

"If person suits up the condition of getting surgical operation done" -> If someone meets the criteria for cosmetic surgery, ...

"The widespread of getting plastic surgery" -> Widening use of plastic surgery ...

Avoid using "get" in formal writing wherever possible -> obtain, become, receive etc.

"If you persuaded yourself to get one, I would say cosmetic surgery has ... " : If someone decides to undertake cosmetic surgery, I would suggest that it would be well worth it in terms of improving one's self-image, and thereby the quality of life experience.

My impression, and of course I may be wrong, is that in some cases the phrases used have been translated word-for-word from you own language. This is seldom a good approach.

The chart illustrates the proportion of different age groups of patients in demand of hospital ER service comparing the two months of December in 2016 and 2017.
Overall, the figures of patients arrivals were on a rise over a year.
It is notable that people aged 75 and over the group under 5 were the highest incidence rates in need of emergency care.

@Miley

It might be a lot easier to write the opening if the phrase "age profile" is used.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/age-profile

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/age-profile

That way, we can simply say, for example:

The chart illustrates the age profile of those presenting at emergency care departments for December 2017, as compared to the same month in the previous year.
The results show an uptick across the board, with a notably higher incidence of patients at either end of the age spectrum vis-a-vis those in the middle years.

Note that we "have/report/show" an incidence.

@Kaley

Thank you so much for your informative correction.

FROM SIMON:

Regarding the earlier question about my use of "from...to", I think the comment by hai is a simple explanation:

It's fine to talk about an increase between any two points on a graph or chart (point A and point B). In this case, December 2016 is point A and December 2017 is point B.

But is it ever wrong to use "from...to"?

Yes.

It would be wrong to use "from...to" in the introduction e.g. The bar chart shows... from December 2016 to December 2017.

The chart does NOT show figures from one month to the other. It only shows the figures for the two separate months.

Can you see the difference between using "from...to" in the introduction (which I didn't do) and using it in a comparison sentence (as I did in my overview)?

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