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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

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Hi,Simon,
I wonder if it can be same way to write the topic which advantages and disadvantages?

@Yuan

In planning the essay, I do write down:
Body:
para (1) - disadvantages: "There are several disadvantages to XYZ. It ..."
para (2) - advantages: "XYZ has several advantages. It ...."

But the topic and subject of each paragraph still remains XYZ. This will work with both types of paragraph (as in Simon's blueprint above), and most importantly provide good cohesion.

Yuan,

For an "advantages and disadvantages" essay, just use two of the "three idea" paragraphs (i.e. use the orange/green/blue paragraph twice).

Dear Simon

I really enjoyed how logical your explanation was in the mental picture.
I believe the most important thing to consider in IELTS writing, especially task 2, is to have a well-logically developed way of writing.

Students in school and university learn far more from lessons with their teachers compared to other sources, such as the television or the internet. Do you agree or disagree?


It is true that the main channel of students in schools or universities accepting education is going to class, in which knowledge is being instilled into students’ minds on class by teachers. While I understand that there should be some other education sources to provide supplementation, like the internet, I agree that the most efficient way for students’ study is attending class.

In my opinion, there is no deny that we need diverse education methods, because some education sources own their advantages which attending class lacks. For example, there are two merits when students study online. First of all, there are many education materials in the internet, including substantial teachers and various study materials, students can proactively choose the teacher or the pattern they like best. In addition, a student can customize the study plan and pace according to his or her condition, instead of passively digesting a great deal of knowledge and matching the schedules from teachers.

However, taking class is making an unparalleled role in people’ s study. Firstly, a class creates a serious, forcible but efficient study environment, in which students focus on listening and seeing what teachers show. This means you can not lay on the sofa and wear a headphone at your apartment to take a lesson like what you do in online study. Secondly, when confronting confusion in class, students can instantly lift hands to ask the teacher in person, which is a very useful teaching method. Finally, vibrant communication among students is also a sole feature and a huge advantage when attending class.

In conclusion, we do need multiple study sources to satisfy various study demand of students, However, attending class must be the main one.

@he li

1) To me, it is important to answer the question very precisely in your introduction, and even more so in the conclusion. Sometimes trying to paraphrase the question does not help. So "I agree that the most efficient way for students’ study is attending class", is about efficiency, not about quantity or how much learning takes place. Similarly, concluding that "attending class" should be the main source of study is a recommendation, whereas the question is more factual. It only needs a straightforward conclusion like: I agree that students learn more from teachers in-school or in-college that outside.

2) -> the main channel for education is attending class at school or university. OR ->a teacher in a classroom setting is the main avenue/method/medium of education

3) -> in which knowledge is instilled into students’ minds in class by teachers.

4) -> there is no denying that

5) -> sources have particular advantages

6) -> there are two benefits

7) -> experienced teachers

8) -> according to his or her situation

9) -> student can pro-actively customize

10) -> taking classes plays an unparalleled role in

11) forcible -> challenging

12) -> lay on the sofa wearing a headphones

13) -> as you can in online study

14) -> raise their hand

@khe

Thank you.
Yes, I find that I misunderstood the question.

Correction: -> lay on the sofa wearing headphones

Please help me to correct some potential mistakes from the essay. Thank you in advance.

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it . What are the reason? Is it a Positive or negative development.


It is true that lots of people who are not economical just tend to use money to pay for their various needs in daily life without saving any money. While I understand that spending money is inevitable because the main purpose of making money is spending it to satisfy our demand of living, I have conviction that spending money without saving is absolutely a negative development.

In my opinion, the main reason why scores of people always use out all money they have unintentionally or intentionally is that people could obtain delight and convenience through using a variety of products they spend money to get. You like drinking wine because it makes you feel tipsy and high, you love travelling because it gives you amazing sceneries and pleasure, you enjoy wearing a classy watch because it enhances your image and confidence. However, the problem is everything has a price, you have to pay for it.

Despite of considerable pleasure consumption produces, there are two factors we should take into consideration when reviewing the negative influences about blind consumption without a frugal spirit. Firstly, without saving enough money, how do people handle an emergency in life, such as the advent of an abruptly serious disease. Secondly, Life is not equivalent to consumption. There are many costly challenges we will face, like children education and the caring of old parents, hence it is ridiculous that people enjoy the spree of consumption with ignoring these future encounters.

In conclusion, although we indeed need to spend money because of our diverse demand in life, we should save money for uncertainties and our plan in the future.

@he li

There is something odd about the question. Firstly, "What are the reason" - should that be reasons? Also, "development" makes it sound as if this is a new phenomenon, but people have been spendthrift, or miserly since money was invented, so what is new?

This means that your opening statement, "spending money without saving is absolutely a negative development", answers the question but still sounds odd to me: better ".. is a negative approach/characteristic".

"always use out all money they have" -> always use up all the money they have.

The first sentence of the second para is somewhat roundabout, and missing the phrase "impulse spending". Perhaps: many people are impulsive with their purchasing, or beguiled by advertising, tempted by the latest fashion, enticed by easy credit, or are seemingly unable to prioritize, stick to a budget, or live within their means.

Be careful with using "you" to mean people in general in an IELTS essay. Although "you" sounds very natural, it might be safer to use "people" and "they" in formal writing: -> People like ...makes them...they love..gives them ... etc

"Despite of the considerable pleasure "

"the negative influences about blind consumption without a frugal spirit-> the negative consequences arising from wild, inordinate, lavish, indulgent shopping and expenditure, and excessive, unbridled consumption.

"advent" usually refers to something good -> abrupt onset of serious/life-threatening disease.

children education -> child education

and the caring of old parents -> and caring for elderly parents

"the spree of consumption" -> spending spree

"with ignoring these future encounters." -> whilst failing to set aside funds for both foreseeable and unforeseen eventualities.

"because of our diverse demand in life, " -> because of life's diverse demands

"and our plan in the future" -> and plan for our future.

advent vs onset:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=advent+of+*_NOUN%2C+onset+of++*_NOUN&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cadvent%20of%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20television_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20Islam_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20Christianity_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20Christ_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20World_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20computers_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20antibiotics_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20radio_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20independence_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Badvent%20of%20spring_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Conset%20of%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20symptoms_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20puberty_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20action_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20illness_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20labor_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20menstruation_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20pain_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20disease_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20winter_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonset%20of%20fever_NOUN%3B%2Cc0

diverse vs varied:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=diverse+*_NOUN%2C+varied+*_NOUN&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cdiverse%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bdiverse%20group_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20groups_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20ways_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20forms_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20elements_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20range_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20interests_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20backgrounds_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20sources_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiverse%20cultures_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cvaried%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bvaried%20forms_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20experience_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20activities_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20interests_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20ways_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20experiences_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20types_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20diet_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20aspects_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvaried%20career_NOUN%3B%2Cc0

spree:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+spree%2C&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Ba%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bshopping%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bspending%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbuying%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bkilling%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdrinking%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdrunken%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bshooting%20spree%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcrime%20spree%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADJ+eventualities&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bsuch_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpossible_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcertain_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfuture_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bother_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmost_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bvarious_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunforeseen_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmany_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BSuch_ADJ%20eventualities%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADJ+demands&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bnew_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpolitical_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsuch_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bconflicting_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bother_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsocial_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bheavy_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Beconomic_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bgreater_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmany_ADJ%20demands%3B%2Cc0

unbridled:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=unbridled+*_NOUN%2Cunbridled+consumption%2C+excessive+consumption&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cunbridled%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bunbridled%20passion_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20power_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20enthusiasm_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20competition_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20lust_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20discretion_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20passions_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20license_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20imagination_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bunbridled%20capitalism_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cunbridled%20consumption%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cexcessive%20consumption%3B%2Cc0

inordinate/lavish/indulgent :

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=lavish+*_NOUN%2Cinordinate+*_NOUN%2Cindulgent+*_NOUN%2C*_ADJ+shopping%2Clavish+shopping%2Cindulgent+shopping&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Clavish%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Blavish%20use_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20praise_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20scale_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20expenditure_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20gifts_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20hospitality_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20display_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20hand_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20parties_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blavish%20entertainment_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cinordinate%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Binordinate%20amount_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20number_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20length_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20delay_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20desire_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20amounts_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20love_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20ambition_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20power_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Binordinate%20fear_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cindulgent%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bindulgent%20smile_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20father_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20parents_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20mother_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20attitude_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20parent_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20man_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20husband_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20eye_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulgent%20view_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bmain_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bnew_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsuburban_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bregional_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bstop_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blarge_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmajor_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Blocal_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdowntown_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bonline_ADJ%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Clavish%20shopping%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cindulgent%20shopping%3B%2Cc0

@Sunita

Thank you very much

I have trouble developing the essay without straying from the point and writing something unnecessary. Would anyone can give some suggestions and point out my grammar mistakes? Thank you soooooo much!

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

With more mature medical conditions and flouring economy, the population of the world is booming. According to some survey,the percentage of young upbringings exceed that of the senior citizens, which is a delightful trend because of the benefits it brings.

To maintain progress of the society from both financial and technological aspects, new bloods are supposed to be injected to the world,accounting for the energy inside, the curiosity towards anecdote as well as the passion for jobs. Even though humans are liberated from several professionals, some jobs are still physically demanding where only the young are equipped. When taking the personal development into consideration, younger ones obtain more talents to be detected or their bad behaviors are more likely to be converted while the elder are glued to their stereotype thinking and method and nearly nearly impossible to be transformed.

Regarding to welfare, too many senior citizens may result in financial burdens of the countries. Providing that the population of retired people exceeds the working ones, the tax that levied will fail to support the pensions and public medical care,not to mention the development of infrastructure and education. What is worse, bankrupt would happen, ending up with thousands of refugees.

However, drawback still exist beneath this circumstance and that is the lack of experienced people.It is well-known that knowledge and wisdom amass despite the loss of time. A society filled with innocent ones embrace the expected future with more obstacles.

In conclusion, we should show gratitude to the status quo, which does not mean we have aversion toward the elder people. Besides, population control should be conducted to avoid going extreme where senior population is just a tip of the iceberg.

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