« IELTS Writing Task 2: my mental picture | Main | IELTS Speaking: read, record, compare »

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

1.It is noticible that overall daily spending by business visitors was at its highest and the peak in 2000.
2. Also, the spending trend divides into three different categories.
3. Overall , spending by all three type of travellers fluctuated.
4. Over the ten years from 2000 to 2010,similar daily travel expenditure levels can.be seen for both business and holiday categories.
5.People visiting friends or relatives spent the least.

1. Overall, the average daily spending of business visitors was the highest in the year of 2000.
2. The spending trend was divided into three different categories.
3. Overall, three categories showed fluctuation.
4. It was just a slight difference between the business and the holiday categories precisely at the middle between 2000 and 2010.
5. People spent the least amount of money on visiting friends or relatives.

1.Overall, average daily spending of business visitors reached its peak in the year of 2000.
2. The spending trend was recorded in three different categories .
3. Overall, all three categories went through the period of fluctuation.
4. In 2005, it was just a slight difference between the business and the holiday categories.
5. People who visited friends or relatives spent the least amount of money.

1. overall in the year of 2000 average daily
spending for business the highest.

2. The trend of spending divided into three
categories

3. the three categories showed fluctuation

4. between 2000 and 2010 it just slightly
diffrence between business and holiday

5. the least amount peoples spending was to
visiting and relative

at first,the average daily spending of business visitors was the highest and the peak point in the year of 2000

Hi Simon,

I have a question about the IELTS writing test; regarding the band descriptors, when a candidate shows elements of two bands in one of the assessment criteria in their writing (for instance some elements of band 6 and some of band 7 in Grammatical Range and Accuracy), would they be awarded band 6, 7 or 6.5 in Grammatical Range and Accuracy? In other words, are half bands given to any one of the assessment criteria if the writing contains elements of two bands (such as a 6.5 for Lexical Resource or Grammatical Range and Accuracy). Thanks a lot for your support.

1. In the year of 2000, the average expenditure of business visitors was the maximum and reached to a peak.

2. Also, the spending trend was divided into three board categories.

3. The expenditure of all three classes of traveller were fluctuated over the given time period.

4. From the years 2000 to 2010, there was a similar declining trend between three categories of visitor and the trend was dramatic.

5. Spending on visiting friends or relatives was the lowest comparing with other two categories.

@Yavar
No.

My understanding is that an overall Band 7 in writing means:

1) scoring a total of at least 28 points for Task 2, that is, either band 7 in each and ever category (Task Achievement, Coherence/Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammar Range/Accuracy), or some combination such as 7,8,7,6.

2) There are no half-bands at this stage of the marking: all criteria must be met. For GRA band 7 there are three: uses a variety of complex structures, produces frequent error-free sentences, has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors. Failing even one of these criteria drops the score for that column to Band 6.

3) A score of 27 points (say 7 for all columns except GRA) leads to 6.5 for Task 2.

4) Task 1 is marked on the same basis, but when the two results are combined, Task 2 has double the weighting and the resulting figure is rounded to the nearest half point. This means, if Task 2 is Band 7, and Task 1 Band 6.5, the weighted average is Band 7: (7*2+6.5)/3=20.5/3=6.8333 rounding to Band 7.

5) If your Task 2 score is 6.5, you will need at least Band 8 in Task 1 for Band 7 overall: (6.5*2+8)/3=21/3=7. Band 8 in Task 1, means a total of 32 points from all four columns, so quite a difficult ask.

You may need to check the original graph here:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/02/ielts-writing-task-1-only-6-sentences.html

This shows that there are two distinct points in sentence one: business spending began at ~$260 in 1997, but the peak was ~$330.

In sentence three "fluctuation trend" is a meaningless phrase: a trend is the general direction of a line over time.

@ Khe

I was told pretty much the same thing by several IELTS examiners, but there are half bands for each criterion in the Official Cambridge English Guide, so I asked one of the co-authors of the book and she said that if there are elements of both bands, then half bands are awarded, she alao said that if you achieve 6, 6, 6, and 7 for TR, CC, LR, and GRA, your bandscore is 6.5, which is not what I was told by those examiners, so I sent an email to Cambridge ESOL Helpdesk and the response was that the average of the four criteria is divided and 0.25 and 0.75 is then rounded up, now I'm confused and don't know which one to believe; so I thought Simon might be able to help.

@Yavar
Yes, the website below seems to confirm that, as you state, the average of the four criteria is now in fact to some extent rounded up :

https://tw.ieltsasia.org/en/BritishCouncil-Band-Descriptors

The exact formula for combining the scores from Task 1 and 2 seems not officially divulged.

Examiners are subject to confidentiality agreement about certain aspects of the IELTS examination process.

@ Khe

The website explains the rounding convention across the four skills, not the convention for each skill, I wish Simon would help by answering it,

Hi Mr. Siomon
I am a big fan of yours and also a silent reader. I follow your steps and believe in your teaching style because you have logic for everything.
Today, something happened that forced me to write something on your blog.
I attended an IELTS training class (won’t mention any names) and there, the trainer advised not to write year (specifically in numeric values like 2005, 2008 and all) because this is wrong and unacceptable in IELTS, however, mentioning time period such as: in first three years OR in all the five years is valid.
Well, it was too strange for me and hard to accept. I counter-attacked and said that I’ve read ‘years’ in 9 band Task 1. And she reasoned that I shouldn’t follow any task that says 9 band because those are not authentic.
Then I mentioned that I was referring to Sam MacCarter. And she just couldn’t justify her statement rather she just wrapped up the whole argument, with very vague answer, to avoid any embarrassing moment.
THANK YOU SAM for being HONEST with everybody.

This training session has literally messed up with my mind, because whatever she said, she labeled it as new writing formats or patterns and asked us to follow them. there were so many things that were confusing. Please answer the following doubts.
1. Can we write an example from our own point of view ( for example, I was an average student in the class ……. ) and I know that you have written such type of examples. But still, I need an answer because those trainers reject arguments by saying that those were the things of the past and are not useful or ‘original’ anymore.

2. Can we write any suggestion in conclusion as our own opinion although it is completely different from the points given in the body paragraphs.

I KNOW SAM IS VERY BUSY AND HE MAY NOT HAVE TIME TO RESPOND…. I TRULY UNDERSTAND.
ANYBODY CAN ANSWER WHO KNOWS SIMON’S PATTERNS VERY WELL.
THANK YOU

Hi Mr. Simon
I am a big fan of yours and also a silent reader. I follow your steps and believe in your teaching style because you have logic for everything.
Today, something happened that forced me to write something on your blog.
I attended an IELTS training class (won’t mention any names) and there, the trainer advised not to write year (specifically in numeric values like 2005, 2008 and all) because this is wrong and unacceptable in IELTS, however, mentioning time period such as: in first three years OR in all the five years is valid.
Well, it was too strange for me and hard to accept. I counter-attacked and said that I’ve read ‘years’ in 9 band Task 1. And she reasoned that I shouldn’t follow any task that says 9 band because those are not authentic.
Then I mentioned that I was referring to Ielts-Simon. And she just couldn’t justify her statement rather she just wrapped up the whole argument, with very vague answer, to avoid any embarrassing moment.
THANK YOU SIMOM for being HONEST with everybody.

This training session has literally messed up with my mind, because whatever she said, she labeled it as new writing formats or patterns and asked us to follow them. there were so many things that were confusing. Please answer the following doubts.
1. Can we write an example from our own point of view ( for example, I was an average student in the class ……. ) and I know that you have written such type of examples. But still, I need an answer because those trainers reject arguments by saying that those were the things of the past and are not useful or ‘original’ anymore.

2. Can we write any suggestion in conclusion as our own opinion although it is completely different from the points given in the body paragraphs.

I KNOW SIMON IS VERY BUSY AND HE MAY NOT HAVE TIME TO RESPOND…. I TRULY UNDERSTAND.
ANYBODY CAN ANSWER WHO KNOWS SIMON’S PATTERNS VERY WELL.
THANK YOU


1. Overall, in the year 2000, average daily spending of business visitors was the highest.
2. The spending trend was divided into three different categories.
3. Overall, all the three categories showed fluctuation trend.
4. Between 2000 and 2010, precisely at the middle, it was just a slight difference between the business and the holiday categories.
5. People spent least amount of money when they visited friends or relatives

@Ash

0) It is much more normal to write "in 2012", rather then "in the year 2012", which sounds rather poetic or mystical. The same applies to other years. Here is the statistical proof:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+the+year+2012%2Cin+2012%2C+in+the+year+2009%2C+in+2009&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cin%20the%20year%202012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%202012%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20the%20year%202009%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%202009%3B%2Cc0

1) Typical instructions for Task 2 are:
"Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience."
See: https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/2018-01/Writing_practice_test_1_IELTS_Academic_questions.pdf

2) There should be absolutely nothing in the conclusion, no new ideas, nor suggestions that have not been mentioned earlier in the essay. As for your own opinion, the marking criteria for Band 7 specifically state "presents a clear position throughout the response". Here is Simon's earlier advice for a discussion plus opinion:
"I'd put my opinion in the introduction, in the conclusion, and in one of the main paragraphs (the one containing the opinion that I agree with). It's also possible to put your opinion in all 4 paragraphs, if you believe that money should be spent on BOTH bicycles and public transport essay"

Correction: -> rather than ...


1. First, in 2000, the daily average spending by business visitors was peaked.
2. Also, the spending trend was grouped into three different categories.
3. Overall, the spending of all these traveller types experienced fluctuation.
4. Between 2000 and 2010, the spending of both business and holiday visitors were quite similar, except the middle time with a slight difference.
5. Visitors with the purpose of visiting friends or relatives are considered the least on spending.

@Yavar
Re writing, five years ago Simon stated:
"Just a small improvement in one area will take you to band 7 overall (e.g. 7,7,7,6 = band 7)."

Note in comments:
"I agree with everything except for the 'rounding down from 5.25 to 5'. That's different from the information I have."

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2013/07/ielts-advice-for-people-with-65.html

It may be that there was a small change to the process a few years ago.

Tuan:

1) "was peaked": when used as a verb, "peak" does not have an object, so cannot be passive.
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/peak

2) "trend divided": neither this phrase, nor "trend was grouped" appears on ngrams, with a finite verb. It was in fact "daily spending" that was divided into three categories, each with its own trend. -> spending is shown for three categories

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=trend+divided%2Ctrend+was+divided%2Ctrend+was+grouped%2Cspending+is+shown&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ctrend%20divided%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cspending%20is%20shown%3B%2Cc0

3) "spending...experienced fluctuation": see:
https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22spending+experienced+fluctuation%22&num=10

-> NZ experienced fluctuation(s) in visitor spending..
OR -> showed a fluctuating trend

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=showed+a+fluctuating+trend&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cshowed%20a%20fluctuating%20trend%3B%2Cc0

4) -> Midway between 2000 and 2010/Around 2005, there was .... OR
-> In decade starting in 2000, there was a mild, general correlation between the results for business and holiday categories, except for a short period around 2005.

5) -> The category for .... attracted the least amount of spending.

1.Overall, in the year of 2000, average daily expenditure of business travelers was the highest among the entire period, reaching to the peak point.

2.The trend of spending by visitors was divided into three different categories.

3.Overall, a noticeable fluctuation trend can be seen in all three realms.

4.There is a marginal difference shown on the graph between the purpose of the business and the holiday from 2000 to 2010, precisely at the middle.

5.The amount of expenditure (expenses) spending by people visiting friends or relatives is considered to be the least.

Above sentences revising by myself, and I am a beginner of IELTS but I have been learning a lot from Simon. THANKS and BEST greeting from small Island, Taiwan.

@ Lewis

1) "reaching to the peak point" is not a phrase that seems to be used by native writers anywhere, partly because "peak" already means "a point; the sharp end or top of anything that terminates in a point", so the extra word "point" is redundant. See:
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/peak

The other issue is that in English "to" rarely follows "reach":
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=reaching+to+the+peak+point%2Cpeak+point%2Cpeak%2C+reach+*_ADP&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cpeak%20point%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpeak%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Creach%20%2A_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Breach%20of_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20for_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20into_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20in_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20beyond_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20from_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20by_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20at_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20with_ADP%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breach%20about_ADP%3B%2Cc0

"Reach" often takes a direct object without a prepostion as demonstrated here:
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/reach

Using "peak" as a verb is easy. Alternatively, "reached a peak of $360/in 2000".

2)& 3) See previous comments above to Tuan

3) "Realms" are not categories; it comes from an old word meaning roughly "kingdom": most common phrases here:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=realm+of+*_NOUN&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Crealm%20of%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20possibility_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20ideas_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20art_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20politics_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20nature_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20science_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20England_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20freedom_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20thought_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brealm%20of%20experience_NOUN%3B%2Cc0

4)"between the purpose of the business and the holiday" -> between spending for business and holiday purposes.

5) "The amount of expenditure (expenses) spending" -> ... spent by [past participle is passive in meaning from a transitive verb except for: vanished, changed, bygone]

"is considered to be" almost suggests it is a matter of opinion rather than factual, so there is no reason to use this phrase when simply "was" will do. Why not add "consistently" or "throughout"?

@Zain
1) The word "overall" is redundant and misleading if we are just referring to part of one line on the graph. We could say "Overall, all three lines peaked in the early 2000s and then fell away, showing few signs of recovery" - that is an overview. Starting your overview paragraph with "overall" is quite natural, but for the detail, no.

"in the year 2000": see Khe's comments above.

2) & 3) see my comments to Tuan above.

4) " it was just a slight difference " -> there was ...

5) "People spent the least amount of money ..."

There may be some clues here as to why your results were below Band 7.

@ Raju

1) "In the year of 2000": this sounds like something out of the Vedas -> In 2000
Also see my above comments to Lewis re "peak".

2) See my comments to Tuan above.

3) "were fluctuated"; some verbs in English are normally intransitive [no object] and, like "rise/rose/risen" can never form a passive. Others, such as "raise/raised/raised", are always used with an object and so can form a passive. The third group, like "fluctuate", have a slight change in meaning when used in the passive - it suggests someone or something was causing the fluctuations. So if you write "were fluctuated", the immediate question is by what/whom? So in this sentence a passive is problematic; better to just put "the expenditure ..fluctuated". Note that English does not usually have two verb forms to distinguish between transitive and intransitive, just the meaning changes slightly.

A simpler example is:

The window opened. (intransitive)

The window was opened. (transitive and passive)

There is not much difference in meaning; for some verbs the second version is either rare or not available. Another example:

The gas tanker blew up.

The gas tanker was blown up.

The first might be accidental, the second sounds deliberate.

1.At first, the average daily spending of business visitor was the highest and the peak point.
2.And the spending trend was divided into three different categories.
3.Overall, all three categories showed fluctuation trend.
4.Between 2000 and the middle of 2010 there was just a slight difference between the business and the holiday category.
5.visiting friends or relatives is considered to cost the least of expenses.

1. Overall, at first, in the year of 2000, average daily spending of business visitors was the highest and the peak point.
=> Overall, at the first, the average daily spending of business visitors was the highest and at the peak point in the year of 2000.

And the spending trend divided into three different categories.
=> the spending trend is divided to three categories.

Overall, all three categories showed fluctuation trend.
=> Overall, the trend of all three categories shows fluctuated.

Between 2000 and 2010 precisely at the middle it was just a slight different between the business and the holiday categories.
=> At the middle of 2000 and 2010, it was just a slightly different between the categories of the business and the holiday.


Visiting friend or relatives is considered to be the least amount of expenses people spend on.

The category of visiting friend or relatives is considered to be the least amount of costs that people spend on.

1. overall,the average daily spending of business visitors reached its peak by 2000.
2. and the spending of three categories trended in different ways.
3. overall, all three categories fluctuated.
4. there was a slight difference between the business and the holiday categories in 2005.
5. the least amount of expense was spent on visiting friends or relatives.


Overall daily spending of business visitors at first reached peak point as highest level in the year of 2000.

Spending trend has divided three different categories.

All three categories showed how fluctuation trend at overall.

It was just slight different between the business and holiday categories between 2000 and 2010.

People are spend on least amount expenses while they visit to friend or relatives as consideration.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)