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Wednesday, December 13, 2017

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Dear Simon,

I do appreciate your essay plan.
Could you please give me a piece of advice on this question as I feel a bit confused?

In the past, people like to store knowledge in the books. However, at the present time, we prefer to store knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Which sides should I choose to write the essay?
I discuss the pros and cons of storing knowledge in the books, then the pros and cons of keeping knowledge on the Internet. And finally, I will conclude the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.

I look forward to your instruction.

Thank you and have a great weekend.

Lam

@Vu Lam

Simon has previously written:

"This is [also] asking for your opinion. However, the implication is that there are both advantages and disadvantages. So, I would answer this by mentioning both, and by clearly stating which side OUTWEIGHS the other. In other words, this is like a "DISCUSSION + OPINION" question."

And also:

"My advice for these questions is to write a paragraph about each side, and make it clear in the introduction and conclusion which side outweighs the other (i.e. your opinion about whether there are more advantages or disadvantages)."

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/09/ielts-writing-task-2-do-the-advantages-outweigh.html

Hi Simon, I have just finished the test today. While doing the listening part, I changed one of my answers for reading and i was caught, I did cross the answer that I changed but They still reported my case in a report of incident form. Will it affect my test result? Please help me answer my question, Im so nervous now. Thanks you

In the modern society ,it is often perceived in some nations that young age people are more comparsion with greying population .Although huge number of adult have drawbacks of increasing unemployment and social problems but this have more merits such as adopting new technologies and
more money from taxes.

My score L7.5 R7.5 S7 W7. THANK YOU SIMON FOR THE HELPFUL LESSONS.

Paragraph 1:
There are three key reasons why having larger number of youth may be at a disadvantage. Firstly, competition for jobs in the labor market may be fiercely intense as there is oversupply of labor. Consequently, this may lead to possible increase in unemployment. Apart from this, pressure on housing and public services may also arise as young adults are trying to start a new life and be independent from their parents. In this case, they might need to rent a house on their own and take care of their daily needs such as paying taxes, health care, the bills, communication and transportation costs. When the youth unemployment rate is beyond control, more severe social problems may likely to occur e.g crimes and despair.
Paragraph 2:
However, I would argue that there are various advantages that countries could make most out of their younger population group. To cite an example, countries which have young and vibrant workforce such as India are very well-known as one of the top innovative and creative countries. Moreover, young people at such countries are often seen as very excellent at adopting new technologies and conquering the world of twenty-first century. There is no doubt that they are the main players contributing to the increased productivity and engine of the thriving businesses. Their creation and fresh energy are tremendous boost to economy. In this way, government can earn money from taxes as more and more industries are growing and booming, people at employed, thereby everyone is benefited in this favorable framework.

@PZ

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=a+larger+number+of+youth%2Ca+youth+bulge%2Ca+large+youth+population&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ca%20larger%20number%20of%20youth%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ca%20youth%20bulge%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ca%20large%20youth%20population%3B%2Cc0

fiercely intense : (more commonly) particularly intense

.. is an oversupply of labor.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=to+possible+increase+in%2C+to+a+possible+increase+in&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cto%20possible%20increase%20in%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cto%20a%20possible%20increase%20in%3B%2Cc0

...social problems may likely to occur

"crime" is often used to mean crimes in general.

..there are various advantages that countries could use tomake most out of their younger population group.

..have a young and vibrant workforce ..

..young people at in such countries...

@PZ

"very excellent":
https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/quick-grammar/adjectives-gradable-non-gradable

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=very+excellent%2Cabsolutely+excellent%2Csimply+excellent%2Ctruly+excellent%2Creally+excellent&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cvery%20excellent%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cabsolutely%20excellent%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Csimply%20excellent%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctruly%20excellent%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Creally%20excellent%3B%2Cc0

(Ngrams does not seem to support Brit Council position, though)

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=%22twenty-first+century+world%22

"..they are the main players contributing to the increased productivity, and the engine of the thriving businesses"

"Their creationvity and fresh energy are a tremendous boost to the economy. "

"people at are employed, and thereby everyone is benefiteds in this favorable framework. "

I like the explanation below because it focuses on how articles change the meaning (rather than endless lists of "rules"):

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/articles/

Nice vocab I thought !

Hi Simon, I have just written an essay on this topic. Could you give me some comments?
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Answer:
It is true that there are some parts of the world where the number of young people overweight that of old ones. Although some people suppose that this unbalance can bring about many drawbacks, I would argue that its benefits are of more significance.
On the one hand, those who show a worry for this trend have their own explanations. Firstly, the lack of older members in society can entail the dearth of experienced individuals. It is indisputable that the elderly can hold a vast of experiences and skills in various fields as well as high positions in any organizations due to years of working and living compared to younger ones. Therefore, the adequate old population plays an important role in keeping these activities function well. Secondly, the older generation also acts as the role model in shaping children's personality as the majority of them spend their after-working life with their offspring rather than their parents, so this inequality between two generations can lead to the decrease in early education for children.
On the other hand, I still agree that a young population is likely to exert more positive influences on the economy and society. From economical level, it is so absurd to refute that the greater number of the youth can provide the industrial and agricultural practices with an active and high-energy source of labour. As a result, new ideas for innovation would significantly improve the economy in comparison with old and incompatible thoughts with the modern fast-paced world from older people. In terms of societal impacts, the decrease in old population make a dramatic contribution in saving state budget for social welfare such as Medicare and this means that more funds would be allocated to other important priorities like enhancing educational quality in remote areas or facilitating urbanization in the countryside.
In conclusion, despite some negative points of this trend, I am still convinced that its greater advantages should be recognized.

@ly
" the number of young people outweighs that of old ones. "

(Actually it is normal for young people to outnumber the old: the topic is really about a "baby-boom" after a war like WWII, where the proportion of young adults is even larger than usual.)

"Unbalance"-> imbalance

"show a worry": doesn't come up on google.

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=%22create+a+dearth%22

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=%22wealth+of+experience%22

Words like "experience", "crime", "economy" need care with articles and singular/plural.

" the adequate old population" -> " an adequate old population"

" keeping these activities functioning well."

"it is absurd to refute that" does not come up on google.

Neither does:
"despite some negative points of this trend";

but "despite some negative aspects" does.

Simon usually recommends leaving an entire blank line between paragraphs.

@ly
"From economical level" does not show up on google. Modern usage prefers economic when describing the economy of a region or country (and when referring to personal or family budgeting). Economical is preferred when referring to thrift or value for money.(per Wiktionary).

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&ei=wMA7WqX7NIiU8wXM7LuoCg&q=%22From+a+purely+economic+standpoint%22&oq=%22From+a+purely+economic+standpoint%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...32057.34157.0.34504.8.8.0.0.0.0.214.1393.0j4j3.7.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..1.0.0....0.n3vDg-r2Kfo

"the a greater number of the youth can provide the industrial and agricultural practices sectors/enterprises with.."

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=industrial+and+agricultural+*&year_start=1940&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20production%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20development%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20products%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20output%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20workers%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20sectors%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20enterprises%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20activities%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20projects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindustrial%20and%20agricultural%20growth%3B%2Cc0

"in comparison with old and incompatible thoughts with the modern fast-paced world from older people. "

perhaps just something like:

vis-a-vis the timeworn, outdated and conventional thinking/approach (expected/that comes) of previous generations.

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/unoriginal?s=t

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=vis-a-vis%2Cin+comparison+with&year_start=1960&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cvis%20-%20a%20-%20vis%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20comparison%20with%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=educational+quality%2C+the+quality+of+education&year_start=1940&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ceducational%20quality%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20quality%20of%20education%3B%2Cc0

@Mai
In this easy, i will discuss the advantages and the disadvantaged of a rather large number of young people in compare with old people in some countries. I think the advantages can offset the drawback.

In conclusion, the number of young aldus is large than old people in some countries. I think the advantages outweigh the drawback.

hi Simon
kindly review my writing and give me feed back on my email,

These days, it is clearly seen, in some countries, that the proportion of youngsters is comparatively more than older people. Although there are some drawbacks to this situation, I believe that the advantages greatly outweigh the disadvantages.

With regards to disadvantages, first and foremost, having less number of the experienced older age group is a major con in any community. This is because those people are needed to guide the path of development. For example, most of older team leaders have already completed their training and have more than postgraduate degree plus profound and necessary experiences which are requirements for any successful team leader. As a consequence, huge work-related achievement can be offered by having older manager. Secondly, the situation of having more of younger people is a damage to social connection in the family. The reason for this is that older people often tend to communicate more. For instance, our grandparents usually used to socialize more and gather their children.

Talking about advantages, one sticking pro is people less than 50 years old are more energetic, highly productive, and more tolerant towards harsh work environment. The reason is that this age group are keen to formulate their future. For instance, some governments, nowadays, have put some solid roles to assign 60 % from the active leadership positions to youth. As a result, young people are expected to replace older ones in many sensitive top high opportunities. Another advantage is that young people are less likely to get sick. To illustrate, the prevalence of diseases among older people are nowhere near as common as youngster. Therefore, the health-related budget can be saved to more important sectors like education.

In conclusion, despite the presence of some drawback to the situation of having more young people in the community, like experience and social related issues, my firm believe is that the advantages of productivity, tendency to develop and reduce heath budget are greatly outweigh the disadvantages.

hi please check my essay:
These days, it is quite common to see youngsters excelling in various fields and it results in fewer older people working in the various sectors in some nations. However, it is often argued that it is better to have adults of young age in a country. I will discuss the benefits along with some loopholes, followed by a reasonable conclusion.
In this modern world, tech-savvy people are welcomed and preferred in every sphere of life. Therefore, young people with naïve ideas and modern life skills are overtaking the older people having stereotypical old ideas. As a consequence, a company flourishes from an economic point of view, which leads to the development of the whole nation. So, it is beneficial to have young minds in the surroundings.
Adding to this, most of the young people are energetic and devoid of major health issues, whereas older people are always the victim of many dreadful diseases, which makes them less effective for various day to day tasks. On the contrary, young people are ebullient and are infused with enthusiasm. The positive attitude that they bring with themselves helps to achieve various goals. Hence, the abilities that the young people have, played a significant role in any nation.
On the other hands, people opine hat old denizens have more knowledge and experience that must be imparted to young ones. This emphasizes the importance of having older people in the society. Nevertheless, young minds can also get this knowledge from various sources available these days.
In conclusion, the presence of old people having wisdom and knowledge will help to conquer in various fields, but the young citizens with wide perspective are always an advantage to the country.

@harjit
"Adults of young age" does not show up on Google books. There is nothing in the public marking scheme which specifically downgrades writing for repeating the terminology from the question. "Young people" includes sub-adult teenagers. "Young minds" is more suggestive of children. "Youngsters" is unfashionable. This is confusing. Would it not be more natural simply to repeat "young adults" throughout? Would doing so actually improve cohesion? After all the topic is about young adults. "16-25 year-olds" would be more specific.

"Loopholes" does not mean disadvantages; it is used when talking about tax avoidance.

" followed by a reasonable conclusion.": superfluous.

"Naive" generally has a pejorative sense. Fresh?

"..overtaking the older people having stereotypical old ideas whose approach may be outmoded."

"On the other hands" : no 's'

"Adding to this" does not seem to be used on its own as an opening linking phrase on Google books.

"Opine" is marked as formal in some Oxford dictionaries: it may be just too formal in the context of this essay.

"Denizen" is not an equivalent of "people": it is often followed by "of" plus the place they frequent or inhabit.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=denizens+of+*%2Cdenizens+of+the+*%2C+old+denizens&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cdenizens%20of%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20a%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20this%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20our%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20these%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20earth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20heaven%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20England%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20another%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cdenizens%20of%20the%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20forest%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20deep%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20woods%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20air%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20sea%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20jungle%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20earth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20world%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20place%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdenizens%20of%20the%20wilderness%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cold%20denizens%3B%2Cc0

"in the society": which society? In society?

"Nevertheless, young minds can also get this knowledge": "nevertheless" does not seem to fit the context properly. Perhaps:

"..importance of having older people in the society, although young minds can.. ".

Almost every sentence starts with a linking phrase. This might be considered as over-use or too obtrusive. See the marking scheme for cohesion.

"..overtaking the older people having stereotypical old ideas, whose approach may be outmoded."

@Harjit

One possible technique to improve cohesion is to make the topic (here for instance,"young adults") the subject of the sentence:

"In this modern world, young adults are tech-savvy, and thus welcomed and preferred in every sphere of life. They come with modern life skills, fresh ideas and new approaches, taking over from staid and inflexible older generations, and breathing new life into companies, making them flourish from an economic point of view, which leads to the development of the whole nation and many (economic) benefits.

Young adults are ebullient and infused with enthusiasm with a positive attitude that helps to achieve various goals. They are also energetic and devoid of major health issues, with abilities that play a significant role in any nation."

In contrast, older people are always the victim of many dreadful diseases, which makes them less effective for various day to day tasks. .....

Nowadays,in certain countries,the proportion of young group is inclined to be larger probably compared with the elder.And I hold a strong view that it is fairly more beneficial.

In terms of drawbacks of that trend, two mere viewpoints in particular that I am likely to emphasis are arguable and have been paid more attention by public. First of all, it is irrefutable that the percentage with reference to unemployment is soaring in those countries due to the oversupply of young workforces,especially,in high-tech industries.Additionally,housing price is ascending upward resulted from the extensive requirement of residence by young people.

However,the benefits of that inclination are more likely to be brought with the comparison with the disadvantages.Firstly,the efficiency and effectivity of process of work are significantly important which certainly could be stressed and enhanced by the vibrant and creative workforce,since they have been accustomed to adopting ne technologied and scientific skills.Moreover,more money from taxed of their salaries or spendings on products is also supposed to increase the revenue of government undoubtedly.

Overall I conclude that this upwards tendency of larger percentage of young people that the old could definitely bring more merits to our lives especially in the facet of productivity of works and government's revenue.

hi please check my essay above, thanks

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