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Thursday, August 17, 2017

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Americans -> US people
Commute -> Travel
Primary concern -> Main issues
Price of travel -> cost of travelling.

Hi Simon,
how many essays should I write a week and how many should be corrected by an expert? I've scored a 7.0 in writing but I really need a 7.5 and I have no clue about what i've been doing wrong.

Thank you

Carla

Check the level eight band descriptors:

http://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/IELTS_task_1_Writing_band_descriptors.pdf

http://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/IELTS_task_2_Writing_band_descriptors.pdf

Also lick on "Questions/Advice" and Tasks 1 and 2 from the menu column on the left

Carla

You need an expert to analyse your writing and advise you what the problems are. Also, in my experience, issues in Task 1 are more common that problems in the essay, so I suggest you focus on Task 1.

How could I make my writing more heavy and nicely constructed and easy to understand. Please give me some tips which may be done at home.

hi, please correct me if you can.


on the other hand, the overwhelming majority, 36%, of people in America would have concerned the most about journies fare. However, roughly a fifth 19% of Americans had believed that safety issues matter, while drivers behaviours, and highway congestion at 17% and 14% subsequently. Eventually, as a small fraction of USA citizens concerned over access to public transportation at 8%, and space for pedestrians at6%.

To begin with, a legitimate reason to nearly a half of 49% of the Americans was to go to and from workplaces. Moving on, about a fifth 19% were travelling because of personal reasons, followed by only 16% went for shopping. However, a minute proportion who had justified that social reasons at 10% and visiting friends accounted for 6%, which was the least reason.

M saini

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/06/ielts-advice-good-writing-seems-too-easy.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/05/ielts-writing-task-2-simple-but-good-introduction.html

The marking criteria for IELTS writing talk about "natural" English, and "semi-formal" or "neutral".

"Google books" is one way to check the suitability of a phrase:

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=%22heavy+writing%22&lr=lang_en&tbs=lr:lang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=6HebWfL1Gsif8QWqw4XwAw&start=20&sa=N

Topic vocabulary is the key:
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/07/ielts-advice-topic-vocabulary-is-the-key.html

Zain

Most of your sentences begin with a linking phrase or word. Simon talks about:

"..cohesion (e.g. linking and comparing) does its job without attracting too much attention."

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2012/07/ielts-writing-advice-cohesion.html

Both "while" and "whereas" are useful for making comparisons in Task 1.

Zain

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADP+personal+reasons%2C+because+of+personal+reasons&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bfor_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bof_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BFor_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfrom_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bas_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bby_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthan_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bon_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthat_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bwith_ADP%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cbecause%20of%20personal%20reasons%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=to+and+from+workplaces%2C+to+and+from+work&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cto%20and%20from%20workplaces%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cto%20and%20from%20work%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=%22the+least+common+reason%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en&gws_rd=cr&ei=qYSbWf26H8md8QX_rqrYCw

Zain

"...who had justified that social reasons ..."

Meaning unclear to me.

anyway appreciate your comments, I will take the points SERIOUSLY.

THANKS

Zain

But wait ! There's more...

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=were+most+concerned+about%2Chad+concerns+about%2Cpassenger+fares%2Cthe+fares%2Cthe+fare%2Cthe+cost+of+travel%2Ctravel+costs%2Cstood+at+10+%25&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cwere%20most%20concerned%20about%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Chad%20concerns%20about%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpassenger%20fares%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20fares%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20fare%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20cost%20of%20travel%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctravel%20costs%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cstood%20at%2010%20%25%3B%2Cc0

Click on the underlined blue phrases below the graph

my introduction as below:
The charts illustrate travelling purposes and influenced factors to commuting of Americans in 2009. In general, the proportion of people travelled for working accounted for the largest rate and the profoundly impacted element to the Americans’ travelling was price of travel.

nhan nguyen

Simon's 2-sentence overview paragraph at the top of this page is more straightforward, and uses simple natural phrases.

Using wild-cards, Ngrams can produce the top ten natural phrases; just click on the underlined blue phrases at the bottom for examples of usage.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=chart+illustrates+the+*&year_start=1920&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cchart%20illustrates%20the%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20relationship%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20general%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20basic%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20use%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20effect%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20various%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20distribution%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20difference%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchart%20illustrates%20the%20growth%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+travelling+purposes&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20travelling%20purposes%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bfor%20travelling%20purposes%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BFor%20travelling%20purposes%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bordinary%20travelling%20purposes%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Band%20travelling%20purposes%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADJ+factor%2Cfactor+influencing+the+*&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bimportant_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmajor_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bother_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdecisive_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsecond_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsingle_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsignificant_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bchief_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bessential_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcommon_ADJ%20factor%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cfactor%20influencing%20the%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20development%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20rate%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20choice%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20decision%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20distribution%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20amount%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20growth%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20level%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20quality%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfactor%20influencing%20the%20size%3B%2Cc0

"impacted" as an adjective does not mean what you think !
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=impacted+*_NOUN&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cimpacted%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bimpacted%20teeth_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20tooth_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20fracture_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20cerumen_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20fractures_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20calculus_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20feces_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20faeces_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20stone_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bimpacted%20areas_NOUN%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_ADJ+element&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bimportant_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bessential_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bnew_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bother_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfirst_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhuman_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfinite_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcommon_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsecond_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Breligious_ADJ%20element%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=travelling+for+working%2Ctravelling+between+home+and+work&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ctravelling%20between%20home%20and%20work%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+largest+*_NOUN&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cthe%20largest%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20number_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20part_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20size_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20amount_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20city_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20share_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20portion_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20proportion_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20cities_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20largest%20town_NOUN%3B%2Cc0

Using natural phrases in the right context will improve your score.

Hello Simon,
Introduction should be the paraphrasing of the written in writing task 1 ? I mean, only one sentences?
Thanks

Bar chart illustrates some reasons why people travel and pie chart shows six main problems of public travelling.

Hi Simon! I‘m confused. In the introduction, you wrote "problems they experienced", then in the overview, you talked about "primary concern of Americans", so is chart 2 showing people's experiences they already had in 2009 or concerns before they decided to travel? It really puzzling when chose expressions in two situations.
Or could anyone help me with this? Thank you a lot!
Plus, pls corrects my grammar mistakes if there's any :)

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