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Wednesday, February 01, 2017

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My attempt

The relationship between modern technology and traditional culture has always been a great concern of many. Some people argue that they both cannot go well with each other and I completely agree with the idea. This essay will discuss how technology affects a culture in a bad way.

Firstly, media has played an integral part in damaging the cultures of the world. Advancements in the field of telecommunication have turned the world into a global village. Whatever is available at one corner of the globe can easily be found on the other, which has damaged the uniqueness of any area. This is true for every aspect of life, like the food we eat, the dress we wear, the language we speak. One can see that American culture has become dominant over others, and it is prevailing all over the world. More and more people in Asian countries, for example, are copying the styles of American outfits and street foods in India are widely replaced by KFC and McDonalds. Therefore, media plays a crucial part in making the cultures less distinctive.

Furthermore, while development in technology makes our life easier, it also changed the way we live. The introduction of many appliances like the microwave and electric grills has radically transformed the way of our traditional cooking. People no longer spend time in the kitchen to make food for themselves as they were used to do before. In addition, development in travel and tourism industry has made it affordable for everyone to explore the world and to visit different countries. Every time, when a tourist visits a country, he brings with it his own culture, and it leaves some impression on the local people. For instance, a great number of people in Northern Pakistan started wearing jeans after the development of tourist attraction in that area. Hence, the link between the evolution of technology and cultural damage can be seen.

In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that while technology brings comfort to our life, it makes the cultures more vague and indistinctive.

My answers to Simon's question

01. Traditional cultures has formed by the beliefs and practices held or observed by specific human groups who are living in local environment. These beliefs and practices have been passed down by their ancestors.
Examples : farming culture, Bedouin Culture in Middle east.

02. As I observed, traditional cultures are being lost in my country. Beliefs will no longer valid with findings from science and technology. Technology development will improve education, heath and infrastructures etc. and it will bridge the gap between village and city.
In other hand it will bring both good and bad things from some other cultures

03. Modernization is inevitable. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. Traditional things will replace with technologies. As an example: in farming culture, earlier they used buffaloes in rice farming but now with modern technologies they use machines to do the same.

04. My view is moreless all the traditional cultures being lost with science and technologies. But there are some cultures specially build up with religious influence still remain same as they do believe the things in their religion that things found by technology.

THANK YOU Simon for all the great work you’ve been doing through this blog.

I have a couple of questions for you. Firstly, Can I choose to go with discussing both the views even if the question says only “agree or disagree”? I really find it difficult to argue on one side because often I ran out of ideas for my second paragraph.

I wrote the following introduction for recent examination question so that I can argue both the views.

International sports are contributing to the world peace. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that playing sports between nations could aid in maintaining peace. Personally, I witnessed that sports did cause violence in few circumstances notwithstanding their positive motives. Therefore, I disagree with the above statement.

So, in the first paragraph I wrote how sports contributing to peace and in the second paragraph, I explained about how they cause violence in some cases.

Am I doing right? Do you suggest any other strategies which I can adapt?


Secondly, For these types of questions, my teacher insisted me that I should NOT write my opinion in the introduction. For instance, I wrote “Therefore, I disagree with the above statement.” and he says that it needs to be included in the conclusion statement instead of begining. However, I saw few of your essays where you have clearly mentioned your view in the beginning.

Now I’m in dilemma, appreciate if you could clarify.

Sorry for the long queries.

Thankyou

INTRO
Many traditional cultures around the world got lost throughout history. There are several reasons why they disappeared. Most researchers in history believe that technology is the main reason of their disappearance. I partly agree with this view. Although some technological developments caused some cultures to disappear. I think there are many ways that technology can help them to survive
PARA 1
Technological innovations such as guns destroyed the Indians
Transportation systems like ships destroyed 'the silk road'
PARA 2
In spite of these, I believe that we could survive these cultures with the help of technology.
If there were no Internet, I would not learn much about 'the Indians' or 'the Silk Road'
We can make traditional festivals and announce them on the Internet
CONC.
I believe that people killed these traditional cultures by technology. In my opinion, people would survive them by technology if they wanted to.

Hi Simon
I think that i will divide the above opinions into two small opinions
-traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops.
-Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible
then i write two paragraphs, totally disagree with both of the small opinions. Is that clear and logical enough ? please give me your answer

Charile

1. it's completely okay to look at both sides in an agree/disagree essay. In fact, it's often easier because you have access to more ideas, and you won't run out of ideas (as you mentioned).

2. The introduction you wrote seems like a 'strong opinion' essay. Look at Simon's essays and you will notice that a more 'balanced' essay more clearly introduces both sides.

3. Your teacher is mistaken. The band descriptors state that to reach the 7 level you need a clear position 'throughout the essay'. The reason for this is that IELTS is testing your ability to communicate an idea consistently over a long piece of writing. Put your opinion in the introduction, topic sentences and conclusion.

Could anyone suggest me am i write or not?
I will write body paragraphs like this
BP1 - traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops.
BP2 - Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible

Technology the buzz world of today has meliorated the life of human being in myriad ways. Although, technology is sounding the death knell of tradition, it is still not right to believe that they both cannot go hand in hand in some respects. Consider education system as an example; in past era education was imparted among students in a classroom with chalk and talks yet orthodox methodology of education has replaced with smart classes but still traditional subjects like History, Sanskrit, Mathematics or Hindi has been teaching to students in schools. Therefore, it is evident that it is not necessary the conservative culture will be lost with the development of computers or Internet.
There is no doubt that technology has made life more convenient than earlier time, but it does not mean that they both cannot go together. In bygone days people cooked food with the assistance of firewood that was such a herculean task. However, in fast pace of life electronic appliances such as electronic gas, microwaves and ovens have made it easy for mankind to cook cuisines quickly with less effort but still people consume traditional foods on the regular basis rather than fast food. Thus, it is clear that traditional culture and technology can go together.

Are these write ideas to write in body paragraph please give me suggest.

INTRODUCTION

I THINK IT IS BAD TO BLAME TECHNOLOGY FOR DISAPPEARANCE OF TRADITIONS . THERE ARE MANY FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO VANISHING OF TRADITIONS AND CULTURES.HOWEVER , TECHNOLOGIES HELP IN SPREADING THE TRADITIONS TO FAR TO WHOLE WORLD

can anyone guide where to put the coma or full stop(on the other hand some argue that technology itself is not a factor attributing to environmental crisis rather it can be proven a major part of the solution


Undoubtedly, there is a special relationship between development technology and cultural tradition. Some people argue that they are not able to survive in the same case, the mainstream culture has been losing because of a tons technology products. I completely disagree with this ideas, this essay will analyse how they are not effecting on each other.

On the one hand, it is cannot be denied that hi-tech stuffs are protecting value culture from the wheel of time. People tend to save their historical moment in order to transmit from generation to generation on the internet, handphone, computer and so on. For example, in Vietnam, traditional weddings have been being filmed to announce on private blogs or even appeared on television. Young generations recognise how to organize a wedding ceremony such as what the bride and bridegroom do. In this case, there is an amount of evidences for why the developed country such as America and England have been keeping their ancient cultures.

On the other hand, the industry of technology is able to exist independently in the modern life. Basically, protecting traditional culture bases on the education system country without known-ledges about technology. For example, there are a number of smartphones have been invented while the traditional information festivals are still releasing more and more on the social media. Apparently, the beauties of culture can not be ruined because of developed technology rapidly, people can be seen their country cultures on the internet easily.

In conclusion, the governments could provide specific measures to balance between these issues in order to gain a harmonious human life.

Hi Simon,

Thanks so much for your lessons and advices. I find your blog very helpful to improve my English. I am going to take IELTS test in April/May, 2017 and my target is at least 7 for each skill. Hopefully with your help, I can get it.
I just wrote the essay and will appreciate much if you can take a look and advise which band it is. Thank you in advance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The development of technology recently has brought numerous advantages which are very helpful for people. There is opinion, however, that the modern technology is destroying traditional cultures because these two factors cannot co-exist. In my opinion, technology only replaces the old practices that are not suitable in modern era, and it is very important to maintain good cultures.

On the one hand, the the development of technology has made the lives of people much easier . Take the invention of mobile phone or internet as an example. These technological gadgets replaced old methods of communication and have helped people connected in an effective and easy ways. With mobile phones and the internet, people do not have to wait for long periods of time to communicate with people in other parts of the world. Another good example is television. Nowadays, people can learn much of what is happening in the world just by watching television.

On the other hand, modern technology can also contribute to the restoration and preservation of traditional cultures. A lot of valuable and unique works of different cultures only can be preserved well by advanced technology. For example, old paintings can remain undamaged in standard rooms with modern equipment. Also, thanks to technology, scientists can restore missing information about old societies and civilisations so that we can have a better understanding about the past.

In conclusion, technology, if used effectively and appropriately, can contribute significantly to preserving and restoring precious traditional cultures.

Dear Simon,

I have ever read the criteria of band 9 writing task 2 (for public) stating that we have to use cohesion attracting no attention.
Meanwhile, when writing task 2, I usually use question in the first sentence of the introductory paragraph. Is it good for achieving band 9?

Warm regards,
Royan

Dear Simon,
I am having problem with my intoduction part.The main idea seems to match with your ideas but the starting part does not have the touch.What would be your suggestion for it?
I am giving my test this saturday.So I hope to listen from you very soon.
Regards
Nischal

Some people argued the Modern technology will destroy the original culture and both are inversely proportional to each other. but i believe that with the technology we can survive our tradition culture.

As technology develops, some traditional cultures fade because they are substituted by technology, either in the aspect of entertainment or convenience. Some would therefore argue that technology and traditional cultures cannot exist in the same time. In my opinion, the argument is not plausible since in some circumstance, technology can help traditional culture to evolve.

It is undeniable that technology ceases some traditional customs. Some technological innovation increase the mobility of people, so people originally living in the suburbs would move to metropolitan areas and join the modern culture. The obvious case of this phenomenon is the booming of McDonalds and Coca Cola, which indirectly replace the need of traditional cuisine and threat their survival.

On the contrary, there are many cases to pursue that technology improve the quality of traditional culture. Take The Lantern festival for example. Although technological entertainments such as computer games, TV have largely reduced people's desire to light traditional lanterns in this festival, it also enhances the safety standard of lanterns. Nowadays, light sources of traditional lanterns, which were used to be candles, have commonly replaced by more safe materials, for instance LED, bulbs. As a result, fire disasters no longer happen in this reunion festival, and people can at the same time enjoy magnificent lantern indoor.

In sum, it is undeniable that technology threats the existence of some traditional culture, but there are also various opportunities for traditional culture to be renewed and revitalized by technology.

Hi Nguyen Thu Ha!

I am also planning to take IELTS in April/May,2017 if you don't mind could we both practice together and share ideas with each other. It would be beneficial for both of us in acquiring desire band scores.

Thanks

My attempt

It is common today to debate about the influence of technology on traditional culture. This is very apparent in our every day talks and media programs. I disagree that developed technology could lead to disappearance of traditional culture or even effect it negatively. This essay will prove that by analyzing not only the capability of advanced technology to preserve culture but also its ability to globalize it.

Firstly,although of all the technology in the world today, societies' culture are still present and obvious. For example,most western students who study abroad return back to their countries to celebrate with their families during the Christmas holiday by planes or other advanced transportation ways. They don't use some technology like internet and social networks instead going back and celebrate with this cultural day. This example shows that technology did not effect culture negativity but it helps people to preserve their culture heritage.

In addition to this,it can not be refuted that technology has a positive ramification on culture globalization. For instance,internet played a huge role to introduce different culture to different people and communities and make it acceptable to them. This example shows that technology influenced in a positive way on culture.
Thus,technology is considered as one of the keys to makes culture more viable ,widely known and accepted among people.

After analyzing the ramifications of developed technology on culture,it is believed that the harmonized life between technology and culture are already present and obvious. It is hoped that this life would continue to encourage a creation of international culture which will definitely promote the global peace

Hi Payal,

Its wonderful to have you to practice English. But how do you like to share or practice English together?

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