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Wednesday, August 05, 2015

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seem incompatible with
are becoming less relevant for
were advised to learna profession
expect much more variety
diversity from their careers
are being eroded
the greatest disparity between
are certainly applicable to
attach great importance to
can expect to come into contact with
a huge variety of backgrounds
should not dismiss all traditional ideas as irrelevant.

Simon,

Thank you very much for the brilliant model essay.

I found it very difficult

I should do my test on 8 of August this Saturday and I need to get 6.5 over all I do not know what I should do I still find the test very difficult it is last chance to me I hope I can do it

thank you simon for every thing

Thank u so much. I wish you would show me more writing's answers. It is really useful

thank you

Opinion must be clear.we can't take both sides

Thanks

hi Jing, or Dear all,

The older generations'
'The older generation'
'Older generations'
'The old generations'
'The old generation'
'Old generations'
-----
the explanations as following :

Usage:
The + ADJ express- some kind of the group / or in particular /Quantity- the group of people
----

Irregular comparatives and Superlative:

old older oldest

older(age, of people and things)

old elder eldest

elder (express -seniority experience ,family relations of people only ),
-----
The older generations'
The old generations'

Maybe, those express many generations of the past time.

Blessing

Dear Simon,

Could you correct the mistakes for me, please?

Thank you very much

The Topic is:
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is true that someone have an excellent ability at the beginning, so they can play or do something better than others who don’t have the same ability. In my view, the training is also important too to become a good sports person or musician.

On the one hand, certain talents are the most necessary thing because if you are good at something when you were born that is the advantage to become genius. For example, Lionel Messi is the genius in soccer. He can walk through three or four defensers very simple because his legs are too fast and the ball seem to stick in his leg. I believe that he doesn’t have to train too much but he still have an incredible ability. The evidence is that he got four goldballs at the age of 27 and he will take the fifth goldball because his club won three cups in this year. So the talent is very essential when someone want to good at various job.

On the other hand, I believe that child should be taught in several different ways at first so they can reach the good thing in the future. Firstly, it is vitally important to educate children properly which job they want to do after they finish their college, and this could be done in schools or even at home with their parents. Secondly, more attention about their leisure is important too. For example, Toys should be relevant to the career such as if child want to build a toy house, their parents should try to expand their ability. Finally, their friends and teachers are also the necessary too who often play and teach them daily.

In conclusion, while talents are the thing that can make children good at something. But I believe that teach children some right ways should be introduced.

Hello Simon,

I want to thank you for assisting me in scoring my ielts requirements of writing -7 bands . With your ebook and studying blogs continuously and practicing as per your guideline , i finally achieved reading -8.5, listening-8.5, writing -7.5and speaking-7. I am very happy that i put my whole faith in your teaching ways .

Thank you sir very much:)

Regards
Kamal

Dear Doan,
I appreciate your work, your already good at writting. i have just 2 remarks: the word "beggining" in the first sentence should be replaced.. and the use of "while" in the conclusion is ambiguous!!
Thanks! ^^

any body who took 1 august academic exam

Thanks Simon for the essay.

Dear DOAN,
It is very nice essay, you can check essay yourself by using Microsoft world, just put your essay and it will shows your mistake. According to me your essay able to get minimum 8 band score. Nice keep it up & best of luck!

FROM SIMON:

I'm glad people liked the essay - make sure you note down the good words and phrases that I used!

...

Mehadi,

I think my opinion is clear in the essay, and it's prefectly acceptable to have a balanced view. Sometimes it's easier to have a strong, one-sided opinion, but in this case I think the balanced view is easier.

...

Doan,

I'm afraid I don't offer essay checking - I would receive too many essays if I did. However, you've probably noticed the useful comments from other students. It's good to share and discuss with others!

...

Congratulations Kamal.

Thanks for putting your faith in my teaching - I'm happy that my approach helped you to get such good scores!

Sun,
Thank you very much for your explanation. I really appreciate it.

Dear Sandip and Briand Rovaniaina

Thank you very much, I am very happy.

Dear Simon,

Your essays are very useful for me to base on.

Thank you so much.

dear doan, your essay is following Simon's structure. However,
*it need some more good vocabularies in order to achieve a band 7. think what we say for a person who born with a talent= innate ability/talent, likewise there are many vocabularies that you easily use in this kind essay.
*again, it is better to clearly mention what is your opinion in the introduction itself. I guess that is not clear in your essay.
*make sure you are not deviating from the topic. question is just about inborn talent vs trained achievements. Just think, most of the musicians have a family background of music and actors too where as sports need continuous training.
*it is better to give a balanced opinion i guess.
*be more precise than saying"most necessary thing"
I hope my suggestions will help you. Keep practising... GOOD LUCK

Dear doan :
please do not mind my comments.

I think you will get 6, because your essay addresses all parts of the question. You supported your ideas very well. Although cohesion is not well managed, We can see progression in your essay which is a positive point.
We can see some grammatical errors.

1. Check third line of your essay . you should not use also and too together.

2. Ceck fourth line of second paragraph . very simple is not correct there. In same line the ball seem is not correct (subject verb agreement)

3. Check fifth line in same paragraph . he doesn’t have to train too , is wrong

4. Last sentence in second paragraph. when someone want to , wrong

5. Third paragraph several different ways at first so. Is not proper

6. Last sentence in third paragraoph. are also the necessary too . wrong

7. Conclusion is wrong completely. You used while and then you started another sentence by but

good luck

Hii simons,

I followed your pattern of writing essays and i got 7 bands in my first attempt.
Thanks very much.

Hi Simon, we have this question this morning.
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some believe that these are the best people to talk to school students about the dangers of committing a crime.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
I couldn’t find the ideas for this question in your ebook” ideas for Ielts topics” the book just contains the ideas about: police and crime prevention; punishments and prisons; negatives of prisons; rehabilitation; capital punishment; against capital punishment; community service; against community service; crime in the media;
Could you please give us some ideas to solve this question? Thank you so much!

I would like to add one more thing that we should learn from this essay: prepositions.

As Simon once mentioned in the blog, one of the most common mistakes made by candidates is the use of prepositions. Also, I read comment by sjm that said "Accurate use of prepositions is a sign of a high level language user who has spent a lot of time with native English." I was honestly impressed by their words. There is a good variety of the use of prepositions which are precisely accurate in Simon's example essay. Apart from topic vocabulary and linking method, we should also give emphasis on prepositions.

Thank you Simon and sjm!

James Z.

HI GUYS I AM SHARING ANOTHER ESSAY FROM IELTS CAMBRIDGE BOOK.

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is sometimes argued that by sentencing murderers for capital punishment, the community is also perpetrating murder as opposed to confining murderers for life imprisonment. While capital punishment is sometimes inevitable, I do believe that life imprisonment is the adequate form of retribution for an overwhelming majority of murderers.

There are several reasons why capital punishment is sometimes unavoidable. Firstly, supporters proclaim that the capital punishment will greatly act as a main deterrent for most potential murderers. For instance, by sentencing and executing a murderer, it would disseminate a sense of fear among the public, which prevents them from committing murder. Secondly, death penalty shows that homicide is never tolerated and would not be absolved, thus it ensures that each life is valued and respected. Furthermore, the huge cost of imprisonment is also avoided by executing the convict. Finally, this kind of retribution provides a safety measure to the public as the offender cannot pose a further threat to others.

Nonetheless, there remain many altercations against capital punishment and in support of life imprisonment. First and foremost, several innocent people could wrongly be convicted and executed because of the lack of circumstantial evidence to prove their innocence. In addition to this, capital punishment has already failed to prevent murder rate. By doing this kind of retribution, society creates a violent culture and encourages revenge. In my opinion, we have no moral rights to take another human life as well as capital punishment is not a good deterrent of murder as many criminals do not contemplate the deadly consequences of crime before they commit murder. Also, life imprisonment gives sufficient time for the murderer to realise the trauma who has caused to the society, remorse and reform.

In conclusion, though capital punishment stands good for certain rarest of the rare and deliberate cases, I would argue that life imprisonment is definitely a commensurate and sufficient method of retribution for a variety of murderers.

Dear NEE and NS

Thank you very much, This is my first paragraph. And I follow Simon's structures to write this.

Thank you very much for your useful correcting my essay. ^^

hi,simon.
I have this recent question(2015.8.8) which I think is difficult."Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree".
As to this question, some teachers said that it was related to the topic of "Crime", while some others argued that it was belonged to the topic of "Education". Futhermore, the latter regarded this question as a type of "solution", emphasising different ways to address the problem of juvenile delinquency.
Now, we need your help to analyse this dear difficult question. Please! Thank you, Simon.

Thanks very much simon sir for this essay. i just started following this site and i will follow all the rules provided by you.

HI simon
This essay looks like a discuss both view essay rather than a argumentative essay where the question asks you to what extend do you agree. I wonder if you could structure the essay like this.

Thanks

Hi Simon or anyone! Would you mind scoring my output? Please i badly need your help.


"Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world."

How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

Certainly, it is a necessity to cope with the current pace in this modern world. However, it has greatly affected the children, they are more likely to spend most of their time doing indoor activities rather than outdoor. That is why, exposing them to nature is of great of importance for them to understand and appreciate its value.

For children to appreciate the natural world, they must first learn the positive effects it brings to humans. Firstly, the physiological needs of every individual, the basic ones such as shelter, clothing and food for example. Another example is the oxygen excreted by plants which humans can not live without. Secondly, the power source it provides, coal for instance. It is one of the many source of electricity that humans use to power some equipment necessary for survival. Finally, the gasses produced by nature are warming up the Earth's surface, for it to sustain life and prevents the coming of ice age, it is commonly known as the greenhouse effect.

With this knowledge in mind, children will grow respecting other forms of life no matter how little. They will understand its value therefore avoid things that might cause its destruction, throwing garbage everywhere for instance. It will also result to some kind act of volunteerism to protect and restore the nature's beauty and pristine condition through tree planting in areas with less tree density and cleaning the drainage to prevent floods which can cause destruction to some extent.

In conclusion, even with the busy pace we are in, it is of significance that children will know the essence of the natural world for them to grasp its value and protect it form harm.


Writing 8

"Some people think that coins and paper money will vanish in a few years. We will only be using plastic cards (debit cards, credit cards, etc.) in the future.
Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?"


It is thought by some people that in the future monetary system will change from coins and paper money to just cards, credit and debit cards, to purchase goods, and coin would be extinct. While it has some negative effects, I believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks to some extent.

On the one hand, there are some disadvantages of having just cards as purchasing power. One, it is high likely for someone to spend more than needed which will result to having less or no savings. For example, the debit card, because of its convenience and availability, one will be easily tempted to purchase their wants. Another drawback is spending money you do not have. Banks and lending companies nowadays have many promos such as 0% interest for a specific span of time on credit, which in return stack the debt up and troubles on payment will be apparent.

On the other hand, there are also advantages to this idea. Firstly, is the convenience that one can have in terms of purchasing. For example, some cards have pay wave where you just hover the card and go. Secondly, during unfortunate events where the card is lost or stolen, someone can easily ring the bank to disable the card so no one can use it. Finally, economic wise, there will be improvement, tax evasion will be lessen and dealt accordingly because the purchases have records which the government can get access to. This means more budget and project to help the less fortunate. In addition, the government can organize seminars in regards to budget control to solve the problem of spending spree.

In conclusion, the effect of having only plastic cards to the people and economy are more desirable than the drawbacks it gives.

Hi Simon or anyone! Would you mind scoring this? Thanks in advance.

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It has been suggested that the aged generation people like to live in a conservative way while other think that people should be iconoclastic rather than doing commonplace works. In my opinion, conventional view will restrict us to do unique and innovative things. We should try to be unorthodox and freethinker.

It is very common that old age people follow the traditions which they got from their ancestors. They are afraid of thinking in an unconventional way because they believe it can harm their fortune and they will commit mistakes. When young people attempt to do something new, aged people don’t want to accept it easily and think it may ruin our society. They always try to designate long-established view as society’s backbone. So, the society remains in the dark era and will not be able to develop in the future.

On the other hand, modern people don’t agree to endorse traditional rules from their predecessors as they know it can limit their imaginativeness. The present stage would not be possible without their nonconformist efforts and innovativeness which could be interrupted by old-fashion. We should always appreciate any kind of radical change to the society which will beneficial and will inspire everyone to think in a creative way and make them accustomed to embrace any situation in a positive manner.

In conclusion, to acquire modern life each and everyone should come out from ancient outlook. Yes, anyone can learn from conventional custom as there are so many things to know but we should not take it as our standard.

Dear Simon,

This is a really great essay. I have a notebook in which I copy all your essays, and of course, write another one for each topic by my own. I hope it can help on my real test next 2 weeks.

I have a question: For the topic with structure like: "Some people believe that (...) is the best solution for (...)", if I totally disagree with this, should I put this argument in: "This is not the best solution because there are many other ones in which I believe to be more effective" ?

Thank you in advance.

Please point out mistakes and evaluate:


Nowadays, life has been changed dramatically due to technological developments. Many orthodox ways of spending lives have become obsolete and outdated. Some people are still stick to their traditions and cultures and are very reluctant to accept new and modern ways of lives. However, some people state that in order to compete with the current challenges, we should train our younger generation with the latest and trendy ideas.

Firstly, people like to live in joint family system for the rest of their life. This gives them opportunity to learn from their ancestor about various aspect of life. There is always a special place for elder, younger like to obey and respect them and followed their instructions. Such kind of love and respect is hard to see in modern life style. Adults become more independent, showing less respect towards their parents decisions and other aspect of life.

Secondly, there has been an element of care for their family and other members of the society in the past. Now, everyone first think about their own benefit and less likely to care about others. By this I mean that new ideas contribute in making our generation selfish and egoist.

Thirdly, there is a significant change in people behavior in modern world; they have less patience while doing any work. They have become lazier and more opted towards shortcuts and less mean of work.

Finally, I strongly believe that traditional ways for preparing younger generation is idle and have many in-deniable benefits than modern ways of handling youngster.

Intro :

Undoubtedly, traditional and modern lifestyle has their own place and importance in terms of values. Considering this, some analyst advocate that traditional lifestyle may not be useful for youngsters to shape their lives. However, I staunchly disagree with above argument for variety of notable reasons.

(Viewers please express your opinion whether it need some adjustment or not)

Dear Simon,
As I know, variety and diversity has the same meaning. So, why you use two above words in your follow sentence?
"... but today's workers expect much more variety and diversity from their careers?

Thank you so much!

Please help me to find mistakes and I will appreciate your help.
Topic:People who do not know how to use computers will become more and more disadvantaged.State the disadvantages and what actions governmnents should take

People say that the computer is one of the greatest inventions in the world. We are not doubted that since it brings us a lot benefits.Consequetly, there must be a huge loss for computer illeterate.The drawbacks will be discussed and governments’ responsibities will be stated below.
Firstly, the have trouble keeping up with times. On the Internet is a lot of information concerning a variety of fields such history, archeology, etc, but to get access to them, you need to have computer skills. Athough there are still many types of information sources like books, newspaper and news programs, computers can support you in the most economical and convenient way.
Secondly, since most positions nowadays involve in computers, computer skills are one of the important factors while employers are looking for human resources. For example, office workers use computer to write reports, businessmen analyze date, shoe-makers design products.As a result, lack of computer skills could be the reason why some people become the unemployment.
Last but not at least, computer iliterate encounter problems in their lives. So extensively are computers used that it is impossible to come into contact with them.When you go to an automated teller machine, you need to opperate a computer.When you want to find a book in a library, you are faced with a compter.
Therefore, some measures should be taken to address the problem.The government may allow citizens to buy computers with low taxes. Besides, both the young and the old need to be encourage to attend computer courses by reducing tuition fees.
Overall, computers play important rold in everyday life due to its functions. No matter who you are and where you live, you still need to learn how to use this powerful machine.

Dear Simon,

I came across your website by pure luck and have learned a lot from you already.
I was wondering if you could do me a favor and give me feedback on the following writing I have written on the same topic mentioning my mistakes and the probable score it is likely to get.

Thanks in advance
Sepehr

There are a number of people who fail to see how the traditional approach which chronologically-advantaged people hold toward life can help teach the youth what they need in order to to live a successful life today. However, I totally disagree with this idea as I believe young members of society can benefit a lot from previous generations’ experience in many aspects of their life.

Even though our lifestyle, way of thinking and behavior has always been subject to constant change by time, there are certain “lessons learnt” that human cannot afford to forget. These findings shape our habitual manner through which we think and live and is passed to us, one generation after another, under the title of traditions. Be them absolutely true or completely wrong, traditions are the gist of tested-to-be-true methods that can help man survive. Learning from the past, nevertheless, does not, in any way, contradict with learning from new experiences and updating and adapting the old-fashioned learnings with the recent requirements of today’s life in our so-called modernized global village.

While generation gap persists to exist between any generation and the next due to the continuous transformation of the environment we inhabit, there are permanent laws and ground rules governing our world such as gravity which, once discovered, could all together provide us with a basic foundation that we can use by inexperienced and naïve individuals as guidelines to having a better start.

The heritage inherited from previous generations in form of customs, beliefs and traditions is, indeed, a rich and valuable source that young members of the next generation can take advantage of wisely to pave their way toward living a happy modern life.

Same writing with one minor correction. Please disregard the previous one.

There are a number of people who fail to see how the traditional approach which chronologically-advantaged people hold toward life can help teach the youth what they need in order to to live a successful life today. However, I totally disagree with this idea as I believe young members of society can benefit a lot from previous generations’ experience in many aspects of their life.

Even though our lifestyle, way of thinking and behavior has always been subject to constant change by time, there are certain “lessons learnt” that human cannot afford to forget. These findings shape our habitual manner through which we think and live and is passed to us, one generation after another, under the title of traditions. Be them absolutely true or completely wrong, traditions are the gist of tested-to-be-true methods that can help man survive. Learning from the past, nevertheless, does not, in any way, contradict with learning from new experiences and updating and adapting the old-fashioned learnings with the recent requirements of today’s life in our so-called modernized global village.

While generation gap persists to exist between any generation and the next due to the continuous transformation of the environment we inhabit, there are permanent laws and ground rules governing our world such as gravity which, once discovered, could all together provide us with a basic foundation that can be used by inexperienced and naïve individuals as a guideline to having a better start.

The heritage inherited from previous generations in form of customs, beliefs and traditions is, indeed, a rich and valuable source that young members of the next generation can take advantage of wisely to pave their way toward living a happy modern life.

Hi dear Simon
could you please tell me what kind of assays is this ,I got confused between effect and opinions assays
thank you
Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.
Discuss the effects of lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Hi Simon, thank you very much for the essay, indeed. I hope you're available to answer a quick question from me.

I often write an essay right after the topic is given, and then compare mine with the example one you generously provide. After studying this one, I found that, compared with yours, what I wrote in the main paragraphs was much more general in terms of making arguments. For example, I made my case by starting with 'fundamentally we as humans learn from experiences, which is what the older generation has to offer' and 'learning from the experienced keeps us informed and grounded' and so on. In a word, quite high-level, unlike in your essay, where you listed specific examples to demonstrate traditional values are or are not useful. Not that I'm challenging your approach, because I also see the clarity and thoughts put into it. But I was wondering if my writing is necessarily bad for IELTS. I'v been struggling in getting a higher band score in writing for quite some time, could this be one of my big problems, not providing sufficient and detailed examples?

Thank you in advance, and sorry for the long post. Here's a potato :)
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'._.: |0| |0| :._.'
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Dear Simon,

I'm still so confused in which condition will we use one-side opinion and when can we discuss both sides?

Dear Simon,

Pls you kindly help to check my introduction. This is the first time I do writing

It is true that the older people obviously have accumulated many traditional values,however, some of them are conflicted with the younger people's attitude. It seems to me that some traditional ideas are out of date, but I believe that the others are still useful for youth's generation among the modern life

Among is followed by more than 2 things (plural), while between is followed by 2 things.

Dear Simon,
In the following sentence, you used "but" at the beginning of it.

"But perhaps the greatest disparity between the generations can be seen in their attitudes towards gender roles."

But I've been taught not to do so in academic writing. Could you tell me when we can use such conjunctions, like "but" and "so", at the beginning of a sentence in writing?

Thank you so much for your help!

Candice,

Most of us are taught this 'rule'. However, according to many writing experts it isn't correct. Have a look at this Google search result to see what I mean:

https://www.google.co.uk/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=begin+a+sentence+with+but&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&gfe_rd=cr&ei=XtdCWLDdOKr38AfVyJ2IBA

I don't often begin sentences with "But" in my IELTS essays, but in the sentence that you mentioned I think that "But" works really well.

Is the first sentence "The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave." a fact instead of an opinion? And therefore we don't need to argue about it?

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