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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

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Thank you so much, Teacher Simon.

Wheres the second video about introduction. You proised us last week wednesday

Hii frnds today I have my speaking test topic was on interesting conversation you .did with some one

Hi everyone, I'm a Vietnamese girl and I'm a beginner. I find it's so hard for me to write a essay like this. I only learnt about write a paragraph with basic topics. I have any clear ideas for each paragraph. Should I wait for the answer from Simon and start rewrite with his ideas and vocabularies?

Hi Simon,

Please correct this essay for me. I have need a band 7 in all section of the test. I took the exam last Sept 27 but unfortunately had 6 in reading. I just want somebody to check my writing as I get a tendency to have 6.5 on this area. I am running out of funds so I thought you can help me in this way. If you get a chance to check this please let me know what band you can give on this. Thanks

Writing Academic essay question:

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, However, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views.

My Answer:

Some people feel that each particular crime committed must correspond a certain sentence, whereas, others debate that considerations should be observed, the instances of every crime and the reason for committing it prior to giving a sanction. In this essay, I shall discuss both opposing views and I shall identify my own view.

A considerable number of people believe that crimes must equate to a specific punishment. They contend that if people know the corresponding punishment to a certain criminal act, one will surely think twice in planning and implementing an unacceptable behaviour. For instance, petty crimes, like shoplifting will serve a year of community service plus a hefty amount of fine once caught and proved to be guilty. Resultantly, this will massively help decrease the number of shoplifters. Another important reason, peace and order is highly likely to be achieved when there is fixed punishments. To illustrate, serious crimes, specifically murder, gets a lifetime imprisonment. No other reasons will lessen the gravity of the sentence, if an individual is convicted for the heinous crime they enacted. Consequently, many will contemplate before submitting themselves to any criminal act due to specific sanctions that has been made.

However, some group of people say that every crime must be investigated meticulously and take into consideration the factors why a person committed the crime. Firstly, some people commit crime because of self-defence. A case in point, one is attacked by a bystander and as an instinct, protected himself and ended up killing the perpetrator unintentionally. This situation is a sheer example of why there should be a trial for judges to weight the situation before deciding what punishment to be given. In addition, juvenile delinquents commonly do not abide by the social rules of the society but it is unfair if these vulnerable children will be sentenced by a fixed punishment when the root cause of their behaviour are the ones that causes them to be in trouble. Thus, fixed punishment for them is not applicable and must have a rehabilitation program to inculcate to them on how to be a good civilian and not to rot in jail.

By and large, criminal act must have punishment, but, the authorities must keenly scrutinize every detail of an incident, in the form of a trial before convicting an offender. The degree of the sentence must be equal enough to the gravity of the crime performed.

Hi Simon
This is my essay on the above topic. Please say my mistakes in this essay. I need your help, my exam in 25 oct
Please

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

With increasing crime in the world especially in megacities, technology has tried to develop tools in order to reduce crime. CCTV (closed-circuit television) or video cameras are one of the best invitations in technological world, which its benefits are more important than its disadvantages, especially in public sits such as supermarkets or shopping centers that different people come and go there.
There are several privileges for using of video cameras in general places. Firstly, in these places people can have a sense of safety because these tools record all things and don’t permit convict do any crimes easily. Secondly, these video cameras can use as an evidence for proving a crime, later. Therefore the police can pursue guilt by these evidences; also one who commits a crime doesn’t deny his or her crime. Finally, this technology can be a big help to the police that they don’t have to recruit police officers more.
However, technology has more advantages, nonetheless brings drawbacks with it. Some people are opposite with these measures on the grounds that they believe that these tools restrict people freedom, and also enter to people privacy. In addition to I think one of the other drawbacks is high financial costs which governments should pay to provide this technology in public places.
In overall, to my mind, benefits of these technologies outweigh the drawbacks. In spite of some disadvantages, these new technologies like CCTV or video cameras can decrease crime in general places.

Hi simon
sorry if I ask in this lesson but I was reading economy and found this phrase " Demand is surging "
which I don't know what it means , would you please
help me out !
thanks a lot for your concern.

@shomie

I'll help you. Just email me at arslan_saeed33@yahoo.com.

????

Dear Simon,

It took me three times to successfully upload my answers...

Anyway, nice to meet you! And thank you for your website, it helps me a lot!


I am Sue Yuan from China and I have come across a topic that is tricky:

"Gender imbalance is evident. To what extent do you think it is acceptable?"

I fear that I missed the point and the essay is not logically relevant... Would you mind checking my answers and maybe giving me some feedback?

Thank you so much!


Here is my answer:

Gender imbalance, which means that in some areas, one gender group clearly outnumbers the other, is common around the world. This phenomenon exists because of the inherent differences between men and women, although its validity remains to be argued. (39)

It is acceptable for some occupations to have gender preferences, especially ones that demand specific characteristics or physical strengths. (A+C) In general,women are more emotionally fit for nursing the injured while men are more physically fit for fighting a war. The intrinsic differences between the two gender groups combined with different job qualifications make it understandable to accept gender imbalance in certain areas. (65)

Another important fact is that people tend to seek employment in places where they assume the most suitable for their future development. Although women have more qualifications and chances than ever to choose careers as they wish, most of them still consider it important to form a family and enjoy domestic pleasure. In that case, young girls mostly choose well-paid and stable jobs that do not interfere with their life plan, getting married, having children, etc. In contrast, men are more likely to embrace challenges and take demanding jobs so that they can achieve greater success in middle age. Therefore, this discrepancy between men and women when choosing initial careers makes gender imbalance more obvious. (115)

In my opinion, however, there are some cases when this phenomenon is caused solely by discrimination, especially in under-developed countries, where women have no access to higher education and thus are deprived of the ability to work. In these rural areas, gender imbalance is not a debatable question but an unfortunate reality. People in these areas are in need of help from other countries otherwise the discrimination will continue and the imbalance will get worse. (75)

In conclusion, although gender imbalance proves reasonable from two perspectives, job criteria and personal choices; it is always unacceptable when it is the result of sex discrimination. (27)


Here is my answer:
Gender imbalance, which means that in some areas, one gender group clearly outnumbers the other, is common around the world. This phenomenon exists because of the inherent differences between men and women, although its validity remains to be argued. (39)
It is acceptable for some occupations to have gender preferences, especially ones that demand specific characteristics or physical strengths. (A+C) In general,women are more emotionally fit for nursing the injured while men are more physically fit for fighting a war. The intrinsic differences between the two gender groups combined with different job qualifications make it understandable to accept gender imbalance in certain areas. (65)
Another important fact is that people tend to seek employment in places where they assume the most suitable for their future development. Although women have more qualifications and chances than ever to choose careers as they wish, most of them still consider it important to form a family and enjoy domestic pleasure. In that case, young girls mostly choose well-paid and stable jobs that do not interfere with their life plan, getting married, having children, etc. In contrast, men are more likely to embrace challenges and take demanding jobs so that they can achieve greater success in middle age. Therefore, this discrepancy between men and women when choosing initial careers makes gender imbalance more obvious. (115)
In my opinion, however, there are some cases when this phenomenon is caused solely by discrimination, especially in under-developed countries, where women have no access to higher education and thus are deprived of the ability to work. In these rural areas, gender imbalance is not a debatable question but an unfortunate reality. People in these areas are in need of help from other countries otherwise the discrimination will continue and the imbalance will get worse. (75)
In conclusion, although gender imbalance proves reasonable from two perspectives, job criteria and personal choices; it is always unacceptable when it is the result of sex discrimination. (27)

In my opinion people always complaining about every thing . if there were no cctvs they were afraid of no protection and supervisions and now that it is , they think their privacy is endanger.
maybe they are right but sometimes we have to consider that some situations are critical and vital so we cannot skip them or neglect them , we all know about street crimes and we all are
afraid of them in that case these cameras make villains be more cautious about the complications of what they doing .I am completely agree with CCTV an i accept the defects for the best of
myself.
sometimes we think that being seen by CCTV is a bad thing or may disturb our privacy and in some cases i am agree if it goes far through people's houses in this case it have to be
declined , i am pretty sure that it is against the law . and also i think it is very important that we know what will happen to the data and information that are saved and when or how they
could be used against us ! I am not that sure but i kind of feeling that they are not that much safe for us.
although there is a question that why people think its bad to be seen in cameras and what do they afraid of ! men will feel suspicious when they want to do something bad or in stealth
so this type of people don't like to be seen with cameras which can record their acts and save them as clues other else the benefits of CCTVs are much more considerable than anyone
can deny is.
all and all with all types of crimes such as street theft , banking robbery and persecutions nobody would refuse this protection even if it cost the privacy which is not that much considerable
security in the cost of a little street privacy , its a fair deal , at least for me.

Hello Shomie,

I'd like to comment on your essay, First of all it does seem you are wordy( write too much). As it is seen in your introduction, you care too much about putting words no matter they are applied correctly or not.
ex:
Some people feel that each particular crime committed must correspond a certain sentence!!!
You could replace I by a simple sentence such as:
some people feel that punishment should fit the crime,..
the next thing on your essay is"Task response". You didn't look at the question in depth, and the paragraph one is , on occasions, went beyond the topic. In other word, you didn't response well the first part of question or at least less effort made on it.
Poor word choice seen in every sentences. To avoid it, try to write in simple. Remember that writing simple and clear sentences is not that easy that not receive high score.
If I had time I would correct and change your essay.

There is no doubt that technology has a crucial role to play , when it come to offering a wide range of products. These days , it has become a growing trend to see an upsurge in using video cameras in public places. With its advantages , however , come correlative negative too, in this essay I will explore them both in detail.
To begin with , one of the most conspicuous aspects of installing these gadgets in such places is that it gives the sense of safety . Not only does it shake off the crime to some extend but also it spread the awareness to criminal mind. For instance , one of my friend went to the shopping centre to buy some stuff , suddenly she realised that she lost her wallet so she complained to the staff member . He said , he checked the Video footage for her . When he saw , he found the victim , he was still there . I firmly believe that she got her wallet back can largely attribute to ubiquity of technology.
Please correct my mistake as I am new here please help me out .

INTRODUCTION
Unquestionably, security cameras have become commonplace in many countries. Whereas before they appeared only in banks and in high-security areas, they are now entering public places such as shopping centres, streets, sport stadiums, airports and public transport. To me this question is not black and white as there are strong arguments on both sides.

BENEFITS
Surveillance cameras have several benefits.
An obvious benefit is that the police can catch criminals in the act, thus reducing crime.
A second linked point is that they act as a deterrent. Criminals, particularly young offenders or petty criminals may think twice before committing crimes. Consequently, society will be considerably safer.
Thirdly, cameras are cost-effective and unobtrusive. Authorities do not need to spend such large sums of tax-payer’s money on the police.

OBJECTIONS
However, security cameras are far from being a perfect solution.
The main objection concerns privacy. Many people feel that they should be free to travel or move around a shop, street or country without being photographed or recorded. They feel that being watched constantly is an invasion of their privacy and that as a result ordinary people are losing their freedom.
A second serious objection is that although the police say that only criminals have something to fear from the cameras, many people do not trust governments with too much information. As Edward Snowden´s recent revelations demonstrate, Governments and Big Business can abuse cameras and other means of surveillance, for their own ends.

CONCLUSION
In conclusion, although there are definite advantages to using surveillance devices such as cameras, I strongly believe we need to balance the need for security with respect for the individual's privacy and freedom.

Placements of video cameras in public areas have become common these days, especially in big cities such as New York, London or Paris. However, some people disagree with the statement as they think that the cameras disturb the residences privacy. In my opinion, video camera usage in public places have more advantages than the disadvantages.

There are various reasons why some people do not like with existence of CCTV In the community. Firstly, the camera can be misuse for inappropriate matters such as for spying someone or can be used for any adultery activities. Secondly, the high investment and maintenance cost for procuring those video which will be a burden the government, while the fund can be allocated for the improvement in education and health sectors

On the other hand, many people admit that CCTV placement in public locations have given benefits for the society. Video camera existences in the community make people aware that their activities are watched by the authority, therefore they will think twice before doing any illegal acts. Police departments reported that traffic crimes such as speeding or breaking through the traffic light have been reduced due to the existence of the video recorders and criminal records on retail theft are also declining as most supermarket and mall are placing the recorders on their service areas.

In conclusion, it is true that the utilization of video cameras in open areas are common in big cities nowadays and I personally think that the CCTV has more positive points that the negative.

Surveillance cameras are increasingly installing in various parts of different cities in order to combat crimes. Some people find them as an intruder to their privacy , I personally believe that benefits of these cameras do outweigh its drawbacks.


It is sometimes argued that public places and other premises which are under surveillance are likely to breach human rights to liberty. As people go out whether for day to day business or just for hangouts along with their mates, they are consistently being watched and filmed. At the same time,all the database retained with the authorities for a longer period of time. Therefore, this act of keeping data have made people much more curious about their privacy as well as personal freedom. If innocent people are being photographed unwittingly it would definitely disrespect their dignity and liberty. Some people argued that these cameras are invading every part of their lives . For instance, recreation places such as pubs, restaurants and cafés , where everyone would like to relax and to have a quality time with their family and friends , are being filmed and this has led to a fear and anxiety in their behavior.


Nonetheless, Video cameras are regard as a key tools that help to cut crimes and save lives. It have numerous advantages which are worth considering in terms of security. Firstly,endorsement of Video cameras in public places especially the areas of high density population such as city boroughs, help in detection and prevention of criminal offense. As a result, people feel much more safer , so the safer communities are the prerequisite to any permissive society. Secondly, CCTV footage allows judiciary to carry out prosecution as the imagery produced from these devices are required as an evidence against perpetrators. Finally, these cameras are tend to be cost-effective measures relative to a number of police officers on the streets.


Although ,there are graving concerns about people,s personal liberty , public cameras playing Pivotal role for people's security which seems to be more crucial. .

PLEASE ANYONE GIVE ME A FEEDBACK......

Surveillance cameras are increasingly BEING INSTALLED in various parts of different cities in order to combat CRIME. Some people find them INTRUSIVE to their privacy.
I personally believe that benefits of these cameras outweigh THEIR drawbacks.

Nonetheless, Video cameras are REGARDED as a key TOOL that helpS to cut DOWN / REDUCE CRIME and save lives. THEY have numerous advantages which are worth considering in terms of security.


Although ,there are GRAVE concerns about people,s personal liberty , public cameras PLAY A Pivotal role IN SAFEGUARDING people's security which seems to be more crucial.

Hello Simon,
I should say you are the best among all that teachers teaching ielts on the internet,that because you have methods ans stick to it,despite all that knowlege you have and can easily write much more complex you wouldnt do that. Your style n methods like what we see in high schools
Easy to follow , simple and all appliable,that makes students to follow and give them such confidence that yes you can either. You are like all scottish,Irish and Briton smart in teaching.

Hi everyone,
I am trying to write a part of the essay. This is the third paragraph followed Mr Simon' guide. Pleas give me some advice if you can.
Thanks.
It is no doubt that surveillance cameras brings more safe to public places. Rarely will someone attempt to harm you if they know their activities are recorded on camera. This keeps you and your personal property safe. Besides, this tool also prevents vandalism. In fact, in many important areas, such as museums and under-way stations, the number of this equipment is installed closely. So the vandalism crime will be easily controlled. Through the surveillance tool, police can both prevent crimes from happening and solve criminal cases with material evidence.

Hello simon, could you give me a feedback? Is it possible if I reach band 7? thanks in advance.

Video cameras are the second security. For this reason, some parts of the world require the surveillance cameras which are situated for some public areas to prevent illegal actions. However, several people argue that these solutions will introduce restriction for individual privacy. Therefore, I strongly believe that the implementation of closed-circuit televisions has some merits and demerits.

Supporters of this development assume that video cameras set some beneficial values for citizens. Firstly, those devices can secure some unfortunate victims to a serious crime when video cameras spread in bus stations. Those tools can evoke a sense of fear among the criminals due to they realize that legal authority watches the condition in this location. In addition, local shops can earn much income because the surveillance cameras help them to cut down labours on duty and they can open the shop for long hours. Lastly, CCTV can be authentic evidence to investigate a vicious crime.

However, the development of sophisticated video recorders violates individual privacy because the equipments restrict some activities. Take some shoppers as an example, they seem to be a criminal when CCTV takes them under control in every corner stores. As a consequence, they do not feel to visit these supermarkets and some people point out the fact that their movements are being watched closely every minute and they do not feel relaxed. As a result, few people vote against for the camera systems.

In conclusion, there are some potential drawbacks as the impact from the development of video cameras in public pleases, whereas CCTV can reduce the rate of crimes for some reasons. Having said and that, I strongly believe that the public camera system should be encouraged for a safer tomorrow.

Thanks 'one in IELTS world'! Having a method and sticking to it - this is the key for me.

could you explain what do you mean by details

Having a method and sticking to it - this is the key for me. ?

i am going to sit in the exam on 1st nov. Anyone from india who sat in 25th oct exam please send me topic of writing task 2

Hi simon can you write introduction for this quetion?
The advancements in communication technology have taken a lot of people by surprise. While for many it has become a way of life, some are unable to comprehend it .Eventually we could have a polarized society, which would pose severe social problems. Form an opinion based on this observation and write a well reasoned essay.

And I am writing my introduction please corrct it.
Today many people feel wonder by seeing advancement in communication technology and for many individuals it is part of life while some facing difficulty to understand it. And some people think that eventually, it could lead to be a could cause social problems. In my opinion, there advantages and disadvantages to this technological communication.

Hi Simon,

Here is my essay (for CCTV topic, Wednesday, October 15, 2014 post), please check and give a feedback.

A lot number of people say that increasing trend of CCTV camera installment in different general places is a crime reducing activity while others believe that this disturbs individual's privacy.

It is true that CCTV surveillance sometimes causes controversy. People do not want to be detected while they are walking in the streets or searching some product. But I think this is not a justified reason to remove CCTVs because the main reason of its placement is to reduce and minimize the ratio of crimes, not to interfere in public personal matters.

Besides this minor objection,there are many benefits of using CCTV cameras. Firstly, CCTV security system saves your home and business places from potential thieves. It would be very hard for robbers to select your home for robbery. Secondly, closed circuit television system increases detection. For instance, You can record 24 hours activity of your office, and if you are unfortunate enough to be a sufferer of crime, at least, there would be a firm chance of detection. Finally, this system offers a remote monitoring. You can keep strong eye on your home and specially workplace. You can even check your staff movement out of your office via iPhone, laptop etc.

In conclusion what I personally believe that the benefits of using cctv cameras outweigh its disadvantages because this is one of the best ways to lessen the crimes in the society and nothing can take its place.

( 240 Words )

Please have a look and give some advice.

Amjad

From dawn of the civilization, people have been choosing and changing their leisure time activities which have effect on combination of socio economic development tendency and styles rather than individual contribution. Although it is evident that modern society convinces the people providing popular ideas which have great interest, personal choice in selecting pastime activities should be given priority.
It is true that over the decade, in modern technology computers as a first priority are conquering the people’s mind to be leisure activity that is being azure in the society. The internet shopping, for example, is gaining popularity in Bangladesh day after day. To expedite the overall cultural development, such type of habits makes people more influenced than ever before. Moreover, watching satellite TV helps people to adopt which spare time functions can bring enriched our society ongoing fashionable style. People also accept the most favorable outfits that make them to dream in life. It is undeniable that popular cultural always dominates people’s life to pass their time with enjoy and entertainment. Because of available popular source of pastime activities, people are compelled to choose more rather than individual’s like.
On the other hand, if the modern science engulfs our personal taste, then our individual liking will be abolished. In this case, identity of a person might not be exposed and creativity is not supposed to be expected as per demand of society. Of course, to thrive the society, we should heed to blossom the innovation of individual works. Basically, different people have different types of choices that depend on their view. If it is given an opportunity to select the hobby, he/she will be able to provide the new discovery through individual liking.
In recapitulation, I am agreed that with the advancement of society, we have some influence of spare time activities rather than a person’s will. So , we cannot avoid the ongoing world

Hello Simon ,

I find there are 2 types of essays .

(1) To what extend do you agree or disagree

(2) Do you agree or Disagree

Is both these type approaches are same , i can understand for 1st type i can write a balanced opinion but can i do it for the 2nd one . Because i find balanced opinion is easier to write :) .

pls help me since my exam is on 10th.
Thanks

In todays world some people argue that security cameras which located in some parts of the cities are violate the privacy. I do not believe that security cameras has become a threat for societys and I completely disagree with this point of view.
In my opinion, goverments should take measurements regarding of provide security to their societys. However this kind of actions has to remain in the legal districts. For example, listening citizens phone conversations or filling their intensions are couldnt consider in a country which has a proper law system. However, establishing law cameras in some important points of the cities is different. Some of the recent surveys which conducted by criminology professors shows that security cameras are really likely to reduce crime rates.
I also disagree with the idea that putting video cameras in public places cause problems related to freedom. For instance in my country, goverment use security cameras which called CCTV and nobody felt that their freedoms are restricted by these video cameras. Equally, the usage of video cameras ensures the security of society and most of the people are happy with this tools. Finally, this system offers a remote monitoring. You can keep strong eye on your home and specially workplace. You can even check your staff movement out of your office via iPhone, laptop etc.
In conclusion what I personally believe that video cameras provides societys a better and more secure life and thats why I believe that people should support the usage of them.

Let me know your views.Wrote this from going over your classes from yesterday.

It is true that, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime. Even though it has rare effect on the privacy, I believe it is being outweighed by the benefits.
In recent years, there is news all over media that the CCTV has been used by a gynecologist to record and release the examination videos over the internet. Even though he was punished severely, for breaching the trust of privacy, this sent a wrong wave of message to the people about CCTV.
In my opinion after the introduction of CCTV in most of public places like Banks, Gas stations and shopping centers, the crime rate has come down drastically. For example, if a person enters a big store and sees an attractive product which he plans to shoplift. If there is a CCTV and the person notices it, will trigger a caution in their mind. This will prevent the person from shoplifting.
On the other hand, the increased security using video cameras not only reduce crimes, but also has saved many lives by preventing it from happening. Most of them are afraid to commit a crime, since it gets recorded and will be used to testify against them.
In conclusion,I believe that the increased use of video cameras helps to reduce the crime drastically and has way more benefits in comparison to restricting individual freedom.

Hi dear.
would you please help me to improve my scores in ielts test.

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom.
Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

In this question can I answer that the merits of security is as many as the drawbacks.
then discuss the benefits of increased security and the restriction of freedom as drawback.

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