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Wednesday, May 07, 2014

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Nowadays people pay more attention to celebrities' look and wealth than their professional achievements. Some people think it has an negative impact on youngsters, I partly agree with the statement.

there is no doubt celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than their personal achievement . some people think is taking them as example its dangerous for youngster . on the other hand few of them totally disagree with this fact. however divergent people has own view towards this.

Can I start the essay like the below...

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People have started looking almost all the happenings around the world through various media such as cinemas, channels. Hence a tv show anchor could become a celebrity because of glamour, irrespective of their achievements and admire the youths. However the issue would start when young people started following them without looking their professional achievements.
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This is full essay wrote by me, welcome for any comment. Thanks.


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Some people think the celebrities are famous because of their appearance and wealth rather than their achievements which will lead to bad effect to young people. While from my point of view, not all celebrities are admired for their glamour and money, some of them reached great achievement due to their hard working and effort.

It is true that some celebrities they are known well for their beautiful appearance and luxury life style. For example, some actors they always post expensive cloth and luxury bags pictures to the Internet as they want to get more attention from public. When young people see these pics, they will looking forward to this kind of life like these actors and it indeed affect their motivation to get more for them through working. If every young people have this idea, all of them want to get stuff without effort, then it will give negative effect for the society. In addition, some celebrities does some improper things like drugs or drive after drunk, which is also make bad role model for young people.

Nevertheless, I believe there are some celebrities who are acting good example for young people because they get what they have through their effort. Firstly, some sports player they are payed more only if they got good score and wined the game, which motivate young people to contribute more to the society and community to get more for their-selves. Secondly, some famous entertainment popular star, people fond of them because they can deliver good movies or TV series to people to make people's life more enjoyable. Finally, some great novel authors they use their talent to born the great article for us, which is also make our life more beautiful.

In conclusion, there are some celebrities which contribute to guide young people to right direction, while for the celebrities which have bad effects to society, the broadcast organization should prohibit unhealthy images public.

Celebrities today are considered to be well-known for their charming appearances and fortune rather than their professional accomplishments, and youngsters are therefore negatively affected by this,I partly agree with this view.


Part1:
There are still super stars who are very professional and they have set positive role models for young people.

Part2:
However,the celebrities who place charm and wealth above their professions can have adverse impact on their fans,especially adolescent ones.


HI Simon
could you please help me with this reading passage ?? or anyone who can help me??

_________________________________________
Genius is a term we apply to those whom we recognise for their outstanding achievements and who stand near the end of the continuum of human abilities which reaches back through the mundane and mediocre to the incapable. There is still much truth in Dr Samuel Johnson’s observation, “The true genius is a mind of large general powers, accidentally determined to some particular direction”. We may disagree with the ‘general’, for we doubt if all musicians of genius could have become scientists of genius or vice versa, but there is no doubting the accidental determination which nurtured or triggered their gifts into those channels into which they have poured their powers so successfully. Along the continuum of abilities are hundreds of thousands of gifted men and women, boys and girls.
________________________________________

Is the following statement true or false?
A true genius has general powers capable of excellence in any area??

I put its as true
But the answer is False

can somebody explain?? thank you


Dear Simon!
I would be glad, if you pay attention to my writing and inform me about mistakes.
Also I look forward to hear from other students!

Nowadays a lot of people (mostly the young) appreciate celebrities or famous people for their luxury life style, expensive clothings and so on. In addition, it is obvious that such people tend to be like them and at this point celebrities become crucial model for society. I think, celebrities should not be good only for their money or appearance.
However, some people argue, aforementioned celebrities influence society's life in a negative way, because they did not achieve something for their personality. Furthermore, advocates of this idea, suppose that, people do not have to follow such famous people, because it can lead to undesirable changes in ordinary people's life. Actually, I partly agree with this idea due to we can observe negative impacts of some celebrities in society. For example, they are likely to show their wealth to media some of them pay attention to rich people.
Whereas, moreover, I am sure that there are still famous people who have lots of successful achievements in ther life and they can be very good example for new generation. For instance, some populars like writers, sportmans and etc. are not changed by money, play pivotal role on people's life and the society gains enthusiasm and experience from these people how to be successful.
To sum up, I think, it is highly recommended not to pay attention the celebrities who can be hazardous model for us, but we can follow the ones who got own achievements not for their appearance or fashion.

chia chia,
it is false, I can explain it shortly.
It says that: "accidentally determined to some particular direction". So it means they have general power on "particular" area. Particular means not "general" it means something special. For example, some of them are professinal on science and it is their particular subject.

It is sometime argued that celebrities have been famous for their iconic style and wealth not for their accomplishment and taking them as a role model can be dangerous for young people. personally, I believe that some celebrities can have a good influence on children.

plz comment on my intro; I am going to appear for exam on 10th may

para 1 of body ; plz comment on it.

On the one hand, it is often associated these days with those celebrities who have made a name for themselves with indecent speed, simply by appearing on reality TV. young children watch them every day either on TV or in magazines and it shows they possesses wealthy lifestyle for instance, branded clothes, most expensive cars, big houses and lavish life style. which can have a negative impact on young children as a result teenagers try to emulate them and wanted to be like them.

It is sometime argued that celebrities have been famous for their iconic style and wealth not for their accomplishment and taking them as a role model can be dangerous for young people. personally, I believe that some celebrities can have a good influence on children.

On the one hand, it is often associated these days with those celebrities who have made a name for themselves with indecent speed, simply by appearing on reality TV. young children watch them every day either on TV or in magazines and it shows they possesses wealthy lifestyle for instance, branded clothes, most expensive cars, big houses and lavish life style. which can have a negative impact on young children as a result teenagers try to emulate them and wanted to be like them.

On the other hand, there are celebrities who can have a great influence on youth generations. David Beckham is a brilliant example of this, he is considered a good role model for children. Although he is the one of the wealthiest and most charming sports man. But it is not his appearance which gets him his legendary statues. In my opinion, he possesses numerous positive attitudes that young children should copy.

In conclusion, while celebrities can have a good influence on children, negative impacts are pretty likely too.

In recent year,celebrities have dominated an important situation in our society. Many of them are famous in their advocates’circles and wealth than for their achievements. But some people thought that maybe they have set bad examples to youth.About this controversy,I am just partly agree.

To begin with,entertainment celebrities often famous for their beautiful surface, which can confused young people on their future plan. For instance,many Chinese children set their goal to be a singer or a dancer when they grow up.The reason is very simple which can be concluded for earning more money.We should ask ourselves if everyone in our country are all become the celebrities,who will be the person to develop our country?

Secondly,Celebrities often earn more money than their real achievements,which can support their luxury lifestyle. And sometimes they even show this inappropriate to the general public,which can make them feel stressful and unbalanced mind.Some people even losing their hope and confidence for their life.

Nevertheless, it is true to say that some of the celebrities have tried their best to set good examples to the youth.For example,Jackie cheng and Lianjie Li are all establish and operate supported aid organizations by their salary.

From the overall,we can pay little attention on the celebrities who set hazardous examples to us,but to follow the step of those celebrities who make contributions to our society.

Dear Simon, should I see the first half sentence ( celebrities famous for their glamour and wealth) as the background of the topic and discuss the later part of the sentence ( it is a bad example of youth) or should a discuss both part?

Put it short, please show which arrangement is right:

1. introduction
agree/disagree it is a bad example for youth reason 1
agree/disagree it is a bad example for youth reason 2
conclusion

2. introduction
agree/disagree celebrities famous of glamours and wealth
agree/disagree it is a bad example for youth
conclusion


Thanks for your help.



Here's a sample intro:

Most people argue that celebrities have negative impact on the youth since they are famous much for their state of being rich. While I accept that this is a bad effect, I also believe that some famous people can really serve as a role model.

People have different views about the fame of celebrities. While some people highlight their wealth and social class as the main reason for their success, others including me, believe their renown mostly come from their talent and hardworking which can be a good role model for others.

There are two reasons why it could be argued that celebrities become famous just because of their wealth or position. Firstly, they may come from a family which is well known for a specific reason. There are numerous actors’ children who followed their parents’ career without being good at it. The son of Tom Hanks, for example, has had experience of playing in several movies without any prominent success, but he still is seen as a celebrity. Another reason can be the power behind of an individual which make him or her to reach at the top. A good example of this can be George W Bush Jr, the son of the US president, who became the president of the country after failing different business in his younger age.

Nevertheless, I disagree the idea that all public eminence are successful because of their affluence. I believe their success is because of their individual talents and abilities. These personalities need years of hard working before become famous on their career. An actor or professional musicians, for example, need up to 10 hours a day practice for years before be a real performer. In addition, they can be considered as a good example for others for some of their extra professional activities. There are numerous actors or sportspersons who are well known as human rights activists or advocates for different social groups.

In conclusion, although some celebrities’ fame is due to their wealth, I believe most of them are gifted with hardworking and they can be a good example for others.

To rr: Regarding your intro, you mean that you agree with the idea, but there are exceptions? Or you do not agree? I think the second sentence should be clearer showing your opinion...

(I am not a professional, this is just my personal opinion, so excuse me if anything wrong)

No doubt, it is very necessary to be famous by achievements rather than glamorous activities and showing wealth in front of public. To me, it is also very considerable matter because it will set bad trend for the society and will frustrates the real generous who is struggling to become a famous.
Undoubtedly, by becoming a famous through glamour and wealth is not a positive trend for young people who generally follow celebrities. Following this type of celebrities, they will motivate to be famous the way their favorite do. A Bangladeshi actor, Riaz, for example, who was not good at acting, but the way he can able to show his glamour through his interactive words and definitely wealth by riding different brand new model cars are really fantastic. Following him, our youngsters are showing glamour by wearing costly cloths and costumes. Though it is bad trend, however, they are trying to make attention to others people by this way. Definitely, this trend reduces their mentality to do hard works.
We must acknowledge the contribution of people who work very hard for the progress of world. When they observe that some people are more famous than them by showing their glamour and wealth, they will demotivate for doing activities. As, human have tendency to become familiar within the community, hard working people is not an exception. If they stop their hard work for the human welfare, this will be negative impact for the society. For example, my friend, Towhid, who graduated from engineering university, but he started to work as a fashion designer to become famous. He left the laborious engineering work that was crucial for the society. From this example, it is clear that how glamorous and wealthy celebrities are demotiving are real heros.
To conclude, celebrities should not be famous only for their glamorous life style and wealth as it does not give right message to our younger’s and demotivates the real generous.

I am expecting help from everyone to show me where I did grammatical mistakes and where I have sentence stucture proble. Thanks in advance for your help.

Recently, there has been a broad scope of discussion on the influence of celebrities on young people. Some advocates support that their fame and fortune are the major attraction for the young but represent a bad model. Disagreement, however, stems from those who believe that achievements of celebrities still play an educational role in guiding children. From my perspective, consistently presenting inadequate facets of their lives would misguide children. The present essay shall dwell on the divergent views and attempt to clarify my stance.

my question is if i have balanced opinion(i think celebrities are liked by young people because of wealth and glamour as well as achievements ) and i write

Intro
body 1=related to glamour
body 2=related to wealth
body 3= achievements
conclusion

is this structure right?or it giving the sense that i am supporting one point(glamour + wealth) more than the other ?
should i merge the wealth related para with the first one (glamour para) ?

Hi Simon
I just had my speaking test.....i was asked about the item i brought back home after spending holidays somewhere ....what was that, who you gave it to...how did you feel about that...my part 1 and part 3 went very well...but i got stuck in part 2 too much, i stammered a lot and i could speak for only 1 min. After that the examiner asked me 3 questions regarding souvenirs and around 4-5 questions regarding photography. how much can i expect....looking forward to recieving your response....
Thank you
Sukhpal Singh

Sophia

I would advise you not to write an introduction like this. Apart from being very long and taking up time and words that can better used in the body, it contains some 'unnatural' phrases that sound strange to native ears, and this is not what we want.

One of the reasons I recommend Simon's website to my students is his presentation of clear and natural English which is in contrast to many IELTS books that encourage writing which is overcomplex.

1st body

On the one hand, celebrities are mainly popular due to achievements in their career and they are great admire individuals for young generations. For example, nowadays, professional football players such as Lionel Messi and Cristian Ronaldo, who are very good patterns for youth in order to achieve great goals. Virtually, famous people are known because of the accomplishments, which are attained by them. If the stars can not achieve anything in their fields, they also might not be a person who is a good example to young people. Artists and musicians, for instance, are known for singing well music that is liked, but that does not always make them popular.

please give your opinion about my body. I really need them because after 2 days i take the exam

HI sjm can you please correct my essay.

Nowadays celebrities tend to show their popularity through glamour and wealth and social media keep highlighting their fame and therefore attracting the youth who are getting inspired to this showcase mentality rather than taking inspiration from personal achievements of famous persons. For some extent this lifestyle of popular persons adversely affect the minds of youth, at the same time they certainly could be role model for their achievements.

On one hand, there are some reasons why it could be argued that the sophisticated lifestyle of famous personalities could affect youth badly. One of the reason is, these people publicizing their fame with every means of social media, for example celebrities are keeping their photos with highly posh cars and costly life style in Facebook and other website and want to create buzz about them. Sport personalities are well known for their great efforts and role models for young generation, but they are giving wrong direction to youth by taking drugs and mischievous behavior in game.
On the other hand, lots of people take inspiration from celebrities who are well known for their professional accomplishments and social responsibility. There are sports personalities who are actively participating in social activities like helping poor children to study and creating awareness on protecting national heritage, these things definitely stand as motivation to young generation . The hard work and dedication they shown in their journey of success make them role models for youth.
To sum up, young age is right age is decide their future,at this time they should not fall in the trap of false attraction of famous people and should get the inspiration from the right people who reached their position with sheer determination and dedication.

Hi Ishu

I'm sorry I can't correct essays but I can give you one comment:

This essay contains many verb errors. Even your introductions has four of them. Because there are many errors, it is quite possible that this essay could get a 5 for grammar. I would certainly focus on that at the moment.

Thanks sjm..for your feedback..i try to correct them..please tell me what is the correct approach to find suitable verbs??

Hi sjm
I had my speaking exam yesterday. The part 1 went very well, but in part 2 i got stuck and started stammering and could speak for only roughly 1 min. After that the examiner bombarded me with lots of questions. He asked nearly 7-8 questions. Is it possible to achieve 6.5-7 in spite of not performing well in part2....please reply.

Ishu

Start with this rule. For present simple verbs (and we use many of them in essays), when the subject is singular, put an 's' on the verb:
social media keepS
attractS
this lifestyle affectS

Sukhpal

The examiner bombarded you with questions because that is Part 3 of the test. it is certainly possible to achieve 6.5/7 with a not so great Part 2, depending on your general performance over the whole test, although it is harder.

The ability to speak for two minutes is part of the assessment, and stopping after a minute is something that all examiners notice. Unless you did a great part 3, with some long answers, you may be limited to a maximum 6 for fluency, or even a 5.

Hi sjm
Thank you so much for such a prompt reply. I did great in part 3 as I had really a great conversation with the examiner with a smile and laugh on both sides. Hope I wil get at least 6.5....if l am lucky!!!


Hi Sukhpal Singh Bhari,

It is possible. I took the exam a few months ago. I talked less than one and a half minute in the part 2. I spoke so clear in the first and third part and I got 7.5.

Have a good one.

It is sometimes argued that people can get fame because of their luxurious and alluring lifestyles. However, i tend to believe that the attainments which people had made in their lives , are the main catalyzer which have imparted such glamour in their personalities.

This is obvious to say that these celeberities are the end product of alot of ingredients including talent and hard work. To take an example of a top-listed footballer named as David Bekham. He has incredible talent and determination and has put in years of hard work. He have had made several victories to attain such a high-profile image and worked so hard to raise himself to the top level. So these achievments in his feild made his way towards a famous man. After getting this position , media as enlighten his personality in front of the world. For instance, he did a comercial in which showing him wearing a branded clothes or driving an expensive car. Which may effect the youngsters all arround the world.

Celebrities can effect on youth badly in number of ways. Firstly , children sometime did not realise that what is the actual source of this glamour . And these children when grow into adults , often deal with depression and anxiety if they cant live up to their dreams of fame. There is nothing wrong with young people having big dreams but these have to be based on reality. Unfortunately reality is being replaced with reality telivisions and the culture of instant fame. Secondly, youngsters have an unhealthy appetite for fame. They ate more interested in becoming glamour models than doctors or scientist. Which is the alarming and upsetting trend.


All in all, young should realise the reality of the whole picture . And people should convey the message to youth that you are good because what you do and not just who you are.

PleasE ANYONE COULD GIVE ME THE SCORE FOR THIS ESSAY

I was given the same topic, when I appeared for IELTS last month. I applied one of your strategy which you have mentioned before.
I started with my writing task by I disagree with the statement.
And then till the end I just made my point with few examples from real life.
After doing that, I thought I didn't did well but I secured band 7.
I need to ask a question regarding reading, can we start reading part from the last passage? As I really felt shortage of time, while reading the third passage, and I found it comparatively difficult.
Thank you Simon. :)

Hi Sjm
In reading it was mentioned that train service at station A starts at midnight till 4 AM. Another train from station B runs at 2am to 4.30 am.

The question was "The train services run throughout night"
Would it be FALSE or TRUE..

Thankyou.

Hi shukhpal


The answer would be true ..
because the question is regarding the service.. wutever the train would be . Does not matter

Hi sami, but it was asking about the time. So what is the timing of night precisely? Coz it was asking "throughout night" and in the passage was "from midnight to 4 o clock". M confused too much....:-(

Hello. Everyone.
I tried to write an essay with the topic.
I'd really appreciate it if anyone can give me some feedbacks. All the best!


It is undeniable that the lives of the rich and famous are fascinating. Although I accept that celebrities’ luxurious and splendid lives are usually in the spotlight than their success in career, I disagree with the idea that celebrities cannot be an ideal role model for youth because they can still be a great motivator.

On the one hand, it is certainly true that millions sit hypnotized by the celebrity life. There are seemingly no limits and bounds that celebrities can do. They seem to spend vast amount of money on housing, leisure activities, and their beauty. For instance, it is not difficult to find articles about that one of famous singers in America purchased a $20 million house in cash. Media often choose to glamorize celebrity’s extravagant life to attract people’s attention rather than focus on their achievements. As a result, the public might think the celebrities lives nothing but an object of envy.

Nevertheless, I am convinced that lives of some celebrities can bring about positive impacts on youngsters’ lives. Firstly, some celebrities’ successful life stories often help inspire young people to follow their dreams. There are some celebrities who found their talents during their early stages of life and made huge efforts to make their dreams come true. Tracing back the celebrities’ successful life stories, overcoming adversity and keeping hope, can be a good stimulant for the young to develop their vision. Secondly, some celebrities who value their contribution to the society such as donating money to charity can produce a positive impact on young people. Finally, the youth can also learn from the mistakes that some celebrities have made in their life.

In conclusion, while celebrities are often paid attention to their resplendent life, I believe that they still can become wonderful role models.

sjm can you please evaluate my essay..thank you!


Presently, popular television personalities or celebrities are known for their attractive and luxurious life they are living in, rather than for what they have reached or achieved in life while, other people say that this thinking influence younger people negatively. I strongly believe, there are famous people who sets as a good model and influence to young one's.

Prominent personalities usually serves as a model especially to children today, being fond of following their favorite celebrities on the different forms of media available today such as, televisions, radio, magazines and even on the internet. Influence of this personalities could either be good or not depending on how fans will look at this personality.For instance, Justin Bieber, a simple boy from Canada who became well-known because of his ability to sing and charm that spread from all over the world because of this, he became wealthy and live in an affluent life.As this shows, Justin Bieber serves as an inspiration to a lot of young people in his generation, to continue, believe and hold on to their dreams no matter how young or your status in life, as his singing career just started when he was just discovered because of his videos posted in a certain website. As a result,many ordinary people nowadays, especially of young age posted their video clips on this website too, hoping to be famous, to have something for a living and help their family even at a young age.

In addition to this, living in an abundant and glamorous life could serve as an opportunity for celebrities towards greater achievement besides singing, acting or dancing, this could serve as a chance to show what else they can prove to people. For example, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, a power couple from Hollywood both famous for their crafts as an actor and actress,chose to use their money to help other people, assist different charity and adapt abandoned children.Thus, those personalities known for their abundant kind of lifestyle is not a bad example for younger one's as they could attend to the needs of other people by using that money that they have and be a good role model to all.

In conclusion, many young people look up to different famous celebrities as their idols because of the their wealth but, it is proven that they could be a positive model for them.Celebrities living in an attractive and wealthy life has a lot more to offer.


i agree with sukhpal........i also said it was false.........thoughout the night means that the train schedule is available for every hour and not from midnight till 4:30 what about at 10:00 pm at night and 11:00 pm at night.......there are not trains.........can somebody tell me what the right answers were for all the reading parts of the exam i also chose the same heading twice for the section with the paragraphs on musical history ....is it correct i chose paragraph F twice

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