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Thursday, March 20, 2014

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Hi Simon!
Thank you for useful lesson!

Hi Everybody!
Please, check my task 1 essay! and give it your band score!

Here's the diagram!
http://www.essayforum.com/shared_files/uploaded/56437/226105_1_o.jpg

Given is a diagram illustrating the different phases with the special machine in the process of producing cement and the making concrete.

It is clear that there are five main stages including packaging in the full operation of the cement making, while concrete production involves only one stage.

Beginning at the crusher stage of the cement production, we can see that limestone and clay crumbled together to make a powder. At the second stage, the powder hits specially-designed section of the equipment, which mixes. The next stage, the mixture goes to heat in rotating heater section through the pipe. At the next stage, the warmed combination is grinded thus produced cement. Finally, the cement is packed into bags.

With regard to the concrete production, there is only one particular equipment mixed four different elements to create concrete at the same time. The concrete is composed of 15% cement, 10% water, 25% sand and a half of the mixture is gravel

I'll wait all of your opinions!

Hi Jasur,

If I were you I would just paraphrase the question and wrote my introduction.

The first diagram illustrates the process of cement production, while the second diagram shows how concrete is produced from cement.

It is clearly seen that there are five main stages in the cement production, whereas concrete production involves only one stage. It is also noticeable that there is a significant difference in the use of raw materials in both process.

Your essay is good but try to keep the description simple and easy for the reader.

Hope it helps.

Hi. I would like to introduce a useful website which can help you to improve your writing skills by students like you.

Here is it: http://www.essayforum.com/

Just register for an account then post your essay, try to help other people to correct their essays and then professional team will work out your essay.

Hi Simon,

You mentioned in this lesson that conclusion is not important in Task 1 but if I do not write conclusion in task 1, does it affect my band score? I really need your help.
Thank you.

Pharrell

First of all, I like your music.

Secondly, the marking criteria are clearly outlined on the IELTS website and examiners use them to mark your writing. In the Task Achievement area, IELTS requires an overview of the main 'trends', and a description of the key features. A 'conclusion' is certainly not required and I would not advise it because it means you will write less on the overview and key features, which ARE required.

Hi Sjm,

Thanks a lot for your useful advice and I am also a big fan of Pharrell. Thank you.

For every essay introduction and conclusion are very important part. Most of the time people try to find the summary of full essay from the introduction and conclusion part.

Hello Simon! I've recently found a bar chart on this website: http://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/769/
In the question they say between 2001 and 2006, but on the chart the 2 years are mentioned separate. In my opinion, there is a mistake in the question. What do you think? Thank you!

This is my description for the bar chart I mentioned above:

The bar chart compares the proportion of overseas students who graduated university in 8 different Canadian regions over a period o 5 years.

It is clear that the percentage of international graduates was higher for each Canadian province in 2006 than it was 5 years before. It is also remarkable that most overseas students chose to study and graduate at New Brunswick between 2001 and 2006.

The university in New Brunswick is the most popular among international students over the period shown, with around 7% graduates in 2001 and about 12% in 2006. The next more popular regions in 2006 were Nova Scotia and British Columbia with just under 11% graduates. However, British Columbia was surpassed by Quebec in 2001, with just under 7% graduates for the former and about 4% for the later. The same proportion of students, 4% respectively, graduated at the University of Alberta.

In 2001 and 2006, both provinces Manitoba and Newfoundland and Labrador had an equal percentage of graduated overseas students. There were around 3% of them in the first year given and approximately double this proportion in 2006. The least popular region in Canada international students chose to study in was Ontario, with just under 3% graduates in 2001 and just over 6% of them 5 years later.

I need a partner who is trying for band 7.5,
skype: rahat_sham

Hi Simon!
Thank you for you greatful lesson!
I consider you as my first IELTS Writing teacher, so thankyou so much!
I have to say that: this has been the first time i try writing an IELTS writing task1. I am sure that I have made a lot of mistake. However, I still write it down here. Can you and other readers help me incorrect and improve it? Thank you so much!
Here is question: http://www.ielts-writing.info/index.php/academic/ielts-writing-task-1-41/
And here is my paragraph( i tried it in about 25 minutes)
The given graph illustrates the employment patterns over a 70 year timescale in the USA.
In 1930, the USA labor force concentrated on farming,fishing and foresting, while the employment of industry, sales and offices, technology and other services were at such a low percentage. However, through 70 years, the number of employee in farming, fishing and foresting decreased dramatically in contrast of sales and offices, industrial and technical ones.
There was over 75% labor force in farming, fishing and foresting in 1930. But it started to drop down gradually until 1970 and significantly went on dropping and got only approximately 3% in 2010. It was a more than 70% dropped over 70 years.Also other services labor, nevertheless, this patterns slightly decreased about 5% over the exact time length.
On the contrary, sales and offices as well as technical and industrial employee number increased slightly from 1930 to 170.Although later developing, Industrial labor also achieved the same proportion with the above two patterns at around 12%. All this three patterns witnessed a robust rise from 1970 to 2010. Whereas sales and offices percentage increased about 8%,that of industry and technology rapidly accelerated and get similarly around 35%. It was approximately 25% raised percentage in overall for these two patterns.

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