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Saturday, December 14, 2013

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Dear Simon,

I rewrote it already and posted it in Wednesday's lesson common there. Can you give some comments? Please.

Your sincerely,
JAY

Just one thing about your Wednesday essay. You have mentioned something about why people have to agree with the essay proposal question.Then you contradicted that view in a very outstanding argumentative sentence

Do you think if we can write like yours approach to such kind of argument in exam , may give a good impression of our standards in formal writing to the examiner

Hi Jay,

Thanks for sharing your essay - you obviously 'looked closely' and did the hard work that I suggested. Despite this, I'm afraid I can't give you any feedback. If I did this for one person, many others would expect the same help, and it wouldn't be fair if I said no to them. Keep up the good work, and sorry I can't offer any feedback.

...

Hi Sulaiman,

Yes, it's quite a nice approach, and the examiner would be impressed if you did this well. However, it's not the only approach - I don't think I've used that technique in any of my other essays here on the site.

Dear Simon,

there are some essay types where required to answer the following question:

...Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

I know that we have to discuss both advantages and disadvantages and mention it in introduction that I think advantages outweigh disadvantages. But what if I think that advantages and disadvantages are equal in importance?

Dear Simon,

It is ok, Thanks for replying me.

Your sincerely,
JAY

Hi Simon,

I took a close look at the essay and have a question. I felt that the UK example in your third paragraph doesn't support your topic sentence in that paragraph very well. I suppose the example would be something about people made a decision to go somewhere else because of different money they need to pay. But the UK example is just the consequence of such policy.

Would you explain to me a bit.

Thank you very much.

Dear Sir,

It is one of the greatest essays from you. and I read it again and again to understand each points.

I have a question for you, how I do write sentences with using different grammar rule. Do you have any ideas for that?

Thanks

HI Simon

I believe your writing has following structural errors .

* In your introduction, the topic sentence has no supports for your opinion, instead it is only a rephrasing of the title.

* In your second paragraph, you started an argument which is not explained or even asked to answer, therefore, it is irrelevant to the question. This part of your writing was a good choice, if the question would:
” Tourist have to pay more for some cultural and historic attractions because they don’t contribute on some cost of those place while local residents do, To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.”

* In the third paragraph your example is irrelevant to your main idea in topic sentence. If we consider paying different price is the main reason for tourists avoidance to visit a country, you should bring an example or a support why they are reluctant. In fact in this part you brought consequence of not to come instead of why they do not coming.


I see this writing as a good example of an essay which has a good vocabulary and grammar without answering the main question, and I think that was the reason you put it for us.

It would be great if I have your feedback soon, as I am preparing just for my writing.

Hi Nika,

It's fine to argue that the advantages and disadvantages are equal. Just make that opinion clear in the introduction, then explain it in the rest of the essay.

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Hi Raveen,

I'm glad the essay helped you. I don't recommend thinking about grammar rules while you're writing a task 2 essay. My advice is to focus on writing a good answer, so the development of good ideas is more important. In terms of grammar, just try to write as accurately as you can (i.e. avoid making mistakes).

...

Hi Leo and Aria,

Well done for 'looking closely'. You both make some good points (although I'm going to try to stand up for the essay!).

Starting with Aria's point about the introduction, I don't agree that we have a problem there. We don't need to think about 'topic sentences' or supporting arguments at this stage. Just keep the introduction short and simple: introduce the essay topic (paraphrasing the question is an easy way to do this), then give your overall answer. You don't need more than this.

I also disagree with Aria's second point - it's perfectly acceptable to imagine what the opposite argument would be (i.e. why foreign tourists might be expected to pay more) and then refute it. However, it is true that I don't usually do this - I normally stick to writing a topic sentence that fits my argument, then I explain and support it. I think I was experimenting a bit with this paragraph, and my students found it useful to see an example of 'refuting' (I wrote the essay with my students in a lesson).

You both make the point about my example in the third paragraph. I agree that the coherence could be 'tighter', and we could improve the way that the example is explained if we had more time. However, the paragraph is easily good enough for the purposes of an IELTS test, and the example is fine (although perhaps not perfect).

Finally, the essay does answer the main question Aria. I make it clear what my view is, I refute the opposite view, and I give some reasons for my own opinion. That's what the examiner will see. Perhaps I've encouraged you to look too closely and made you over-think your analysis!

thanks a lot Simon

It is very useful to have these kind of advices from an examiner.
As I used to learn some rules and structures from different sources, I thought we need to follow only those rules. the way that you mentioned we have more choices and will be more flexible to write.

Now, I have the feeling of being in your class.

No problem Aria. I'm glad you found my explanation useful.

Sir do you think the listening of gen. Exam easy as compare to Ac exams please reply me if any one have any idea about this

I want help about digram and picture graph because i'm going to give the exam

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