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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

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hi Simon,
can you give me advice about this introduce,please?
thank you,

Countries in the world are keeping pace with each other to succeed and develop. Some people think that to measure their success, countries must have strong medical support for citizens while others claim that knowledge is the most effective way to evaluate the growth of a country. My essay will shed light on factors required to appraise the attainment of a country

and I wonder that whether the second and third paragraphs will overlap?
thanks,

Hi Simon,

Here my introduction.

A number of factors associated with a country whether or not it is be a successful in the world. The most important factors are stability of economy, standard of education and a strong political system.

Does it suitable for this essay?

Thank you

Hi Simon,

I'm confused using "could" & "can". We use "could" as something unreal? So it cannot be applied in a academic report?

For example, when I write the report about MRI, my sentence was: MRI could contribute to the identification of early disease expression, which may not result in detectable morphological changes at conventional imaging (reference).

In this case, I need to change to "can"?

Here is my intro.:
It is usual thing to assess any country by its economic position.However,people have different views about this issue,some disagree with this view and believe that there are other aspects to measure economic progress.
It is my personal opinion that success in economy of country should be judged in fields of education,standard political system and so on...

GDP,a financial statistics which has been considered as the most important indicator in state development,now is challenged by other index which has been advocated by many to judge the success of nation management,amongst these indicators,the education is most important.

The fact that how much a country is developed or progressed does not entirely depend on the economic indices like GDP or GNP and similar others. However, there are more than two or three factors which are basically social factors like the public health, social security, education system, public well-being, environmental conditions, ample employment opportunities, equity and equality in respect to gender issues, rule of law, rank in the HDI list--all determine the overall success of the country. These factors are of significant importance since the economic issues alone cannot be thought sufficient for the betterment of the people of a country.
People need proper treatments to remain healthy, to keep themselves sound and safe. They should be provided with better education so that their later generations can be taught effectively and grown up with proper knowledge and skills as they may become assets for the country in the later years. The practice of egalitarianism and justice in the society. Men and women are treated equally in every aspect of life. The capability of the country in case of creating job facilities for graduates as well as for the people to be employed as blue collar workers. The effective supervision of law enforcing agencies to reduce the prevalence of crime and deviance in the society.
Above all the welfare of the humanity should be ensured along the line of economic development. Thus the progresses is ensured, country becomes successful. There is no progress when people live in disparity. There is no development when almost all people live in distress. There is no progress when people strive for basic needs and suffer grievances.

It is true that ecnomic growth certainly plays a cler role in evaluating the success of a country. There are some other factors need to be taken into consideration such as health care, roads infrastructure and education. In my view, education is the worth considering issue.
This is my introduction. Can anyone comment on it?

In my opinion, nowadays green economy is the major policy that every country tries to enforce it; thus, it is the best way for obtaining the sustainable development. Therefore, not only the rate of economic growth, but also, the level of public and environmental gorwth are the main factors that indicate the countries' success.In addition, these three indicators are the colomn for the sustainable development. healthcare, education system, the percentage of happy people include to public gorwth. The number of people who have the green jobs and are called green collar workers are the significant indicator that belongig to environmental growth. As a consequnces, all these facts above mentoned reflect the whole sides of counties' seccess. So, I think in general,the economic growth is the most important index, yet it is one of the crucial indicator that performs the counrie's achievments.

Simon tnank you for your lessons!!! God bless you!!! Greetings from Azerbaijan!

My response:

Many developed countries are now expanding their horizons and due to globalisation, many developing countries have also shown signs of progress, but what actually measures success of a nation. Many believe that GDP rate is one source for estimation. However, there are other factors beyond economic ones, which reflect country's growth such as energy usage, equal employment opportunity and education.

Energy utilisation actually shows the expansion of industrialisation, which further helps in developing national identity. It has been clearly seen that per capita energy consumption directly reflects nation's growth. Another major aspect is equal employment opportunity for all class and religion. This represents country as impartial and a fruitful place where everyone can have a sense of social and economic well-being. Moreover, education is also seen as a progress key. More education means more knowledge and better skilled resources for future.

I think, irrational career opportunities combined with proper wealth distribution is the most significant factor to develop and maintain the progress. It seems that country, as a whole, can only develop when it has contributions from everyone. People should have that moral to respond to the needs of their area. Proper distribution of wealth means everyone has good standard of living and they are entitled to equal amount of responsibility.

Overall, I think there are many aspects which clearly indicated country's progress, but a sense of happiness prevails only under few conditions and I believe those are the best ones to measure success of a nation as well as their citizens.


I found this topic really difficult to develop. I just expect few comments for improvements.

Hi Simon,

May I request you to post a model answer for this essay? I am quite confused on how to answer this one. Is it a discussion and opinion essay? Thank you

Hi Simon,

I'm quite confused on how to answer this kind of essay. Is this a discussion and opinion type of essay? May I request you to show a model answer for this one? Thank you so much.

Hi simon

could you give the modle answer for this questen.

Hi Simon
Here is my structure
para1: intro
para2: 2 other factors
para3: 1 factor I think more important(but I didn't mention it in paragraph2)
para4: Conclusion

is this structure ok? or do I have to mention all 3 factors in para2?

Thx!

Dear Simon,

I’ve read this website for weeks and Writing Task 2 in particular. I’ve got a lot here and really want to say thank you to you. I got 5 in writing twice, which really upseted me. I hope you could take a look at my essay and give me some advices.

Sincerely yours, erin liu

Economic progress plays a key role in the development of a country. As to me, the success of a country is formed by many factors, and economic progress is indeed the most critical one.

In spite of economics, other essential indicators should be considered in the measurement of a country’s success as well. First of all, the general living standards of entire population is quite important. Take China as an example, while metropolises like Beijing and Shanghai are developed, many people who live in inland provinces are suffering low health and low economy. With potential dangers like this in the midst of fast economic growth, this huge economic entity is still disagreed to be advanced as a country. Another factor should be highly valued is soft power, which means the ability of a country to attract others because of its culture, political values and foreign policies. For example, typical American spirits such as the American dream have been enhanced repeatedly by not only the mass media but also their political talking, and therefore be appreciated around the world.

Among all the elements of a country’s success, economy is the foundation. In fact, we could hardly achieve anything without money. Many ancient countries with highly developed civilizations disappeared because of the collapse of economy. Since it is too hard to guarantee health services, education and as well as armament without enough material supply. Furthermore, to pursue further goals like the improvement of culture and arts, the steady developing economy is essential. With globalized communication, national cultures and identities are exported accompanied by commercial goods. It is evident that developed countries with vibrant culture industry have more advantages in this aspect.

In a nutshell, a great country has more than one benchmark. However, I personally believe that economics is such a base that no other ones could compare to.

@ziaul

Your intro looks ok, very similar to Simon's style
But I'm not sure about the phrase ' worth considering issue'
If me I'll write ' worth more consideration'
Just my opinion :)

Dear simon, can I write my para as follows?

Intro
2factors
1more factor w longer explanation
My pref that Econ is most important+ reasons
Conclusion

Thanks

hI Simon,

I just paraphrase the question in and introduced I will talk about other factors that will have an impact on a country's success but didnt actually give what the factors will be.. is this gonna be ok??

I mention more important factor in the conclusion part....

the structure is slightly different than yours but i think the logic is similar.

is this gonna be ok?

Thanks
Jimmy

Hi Simon and everybody else, here is my try:

The way to define a country as successful is still an open question. Although there is the temptation to rely only on measurable indexes such as economic progress, from my point of view, many other political an social factors should be taken into account. Thus, I think that only with all those factors balanced, the citizens of a country can live meaningful and fulfilling lives which should be the final goal of a country.

There are many other factors other than the economic ones that account for the success of a country. Many countries with a healthy economy fail in developing political rights. Take Saudi Arabia as an example, although it is full with petrodollars, more than a half of its population lack of fundamental rights such as freedom of movement or speech, so political development is also necessary. Other countries, such as the USA, foster great inequality between the richer and the poorer or even different social groups. Therefore, even when the economy is fueling, there are many people without the means to make an honest living, that had led to riots that made people fear for their lives.

Consequently, it is clear that no single measurement can be used to define a country as successful. So, only in countries where economic success is bundled with political freedom and a public welfare system allowing social mobility and easing social inequality can provide their citizens with decent lives, as it happens in Nordic countries such as Finland, can be defined as successful.

To sum up, even though economic development is a necessary condition to define a country as developed, by no means it is sufficient. A country must be truly politically and socially advance to accomplish its more important mission, to provide all their inhabitants with meaningful and fulfilling lifes.

Thanks.

Hi Simon !
Could you please check my Introduction will be highly thankful to you..

Question
News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news, and would it be better if more good news was reported?

Introduction
Newspaper and television is an integral part of everybody's life. Each media has its own guideline on how news is transmitted for a ranger of reason, and i would argue that we should not become immune to bad news.

It is true that a successful country is often considered as the economically strong one. Although there are various other factors are equally responsible for a nation’s prosperity, I believe that educational development is more worthy than others.


While measuring a country’s success, several factors should be taken an account, because single indicator as economic progress might not be sufficient-enough to assume it. Firstly, improvement in education is one of the necessary evils for a nation’s success. For example, compulsory schooling for all children, proportion of people involving higher education, these are major criteria for a developed country. Secondly, political stability is also another important matter of measurement. If there is political unrest present within the country, other vital issues might be neglected. Government in such countries would probably give more importance on dominating opposite parties or deterring terrorism. As a result, enormous amount of money and power would have been wasted for this purpose. For instance, Middle-east is suffering from this problem. Finally, developed infrastructures such as health-care system, road constructions and traffic are also essential measures of prosperity.


Among all the factors, I think education is the most important one. Development in education system is the key to improving economy of any country. Having said, because economies are becoming increasingly knowledge-based, and most jobs require specific knowledge and skills. Undoubtedly only better education can provide these, and educated people can contribute positively to a nation. For example, recently India is giving most priority on developing their educational system with technological support. As a result they are emerging as a developed nation to the world.


In conclusion, I believe that along with economic progress, educational status, political conditions, advanced vital structures these are also worth considerations for measuring a nation’s success.
with thanks
Sathi
coments are welcome....

Hello,Simon!

I’ve read your blog for weeks and the Writing Task 2 in particular. I got a lot and really want to say thank you! My writing is the worst one in the IELTS, which upsets me… I hope you could take a look at my essay and give me some advices.

Sincerely yours, erin liu


Economic progress plays a key role in the development of a country. As to me, the success of a country is formed by many factors, and economic progress is indeed the most critical one.

In spite of economics, several other essential indicators should be considered in the measurement of a country’s success. First of all, living standards of the entire population is quite important. Take China as an example, while metropolises like Beijing and Shanghai are developed, many people who live in inland provinces are suffering low health and education. With potential dangers like this in the midst of fast economic growth, this huge economic entity is still not accepted to be advanced as a country. Another factor should be highly valued is soft power, which means the ability of a country to attract others because of its culture and political values. For example, typical American spirits such as the American dream has been enhanced by not only the mass media but also their political talking, and therefore be appreciated around the world.

Economy is the foundation of the progess of a country. In fact, we could hardly achieve anything without money. Many ancient countries with highly developed civilizations disappeared because of the collapse of economy. Since it is too hard to guarantee health services, education and as well as armament without enough material supply. Furthermore, to pursue further goals like the improvement of culture and arts, steady developing economy is essential. With globalized communication, national cultures and identities are exported accompanied by commercial goods. It is evident that developed countries with vibrant culture industry have more advantages in this aspect.

In a nutshell, a great country has more than one benchmark. However, I personally believe that economics is such a base that no other ones could compare to.

Financial datas are playing a big role when a country is assessed. However, there are some different measuring criteria such as health and education. It is not possible to say whether a country is successful or not without looking some other essential factors. Whereas all the sub factors are related to economics, monetary progress is not enough to measure success.

A country’s success is assessed by wellfare of people who lives in that country. Health system is one of the most important factor of how well people live. Consider a country whose poor citizens are deserted to death because of lacking money. Is it ever possible to mention that this country is successful? Definitely not. All developed countries which are counted successful have a properly working health system.

Another wellfare criteria is education. Without a healty education system countries are possibly vanish within years. A country which couldn’t bring up their own teachers, engineers etc. is most likely survive with their natural sources. In time they would not follow the technology, progresses in health and collapse or bend the knee in front of developed countries.

To sum up financial progress is the most important criteria to measure a country’s success but it is not enough without being successful on supporting factors such as health and education.

Nowdays, Economic progress has become prominent indicator of development. In globalization period without economic power country can't pace towards development but some people argue that there other progress are more important rather than economic progress. I would like to show some other factor which is play vital role towards country progress.
On the one hand, here we can measure the country progress through social progress, technological progress. As a social progress like basic human needs, foundation of wellbeing and opportunity are the major indicators of country development .Actually people's quality of life depends on these social indicator. For instance, economically developed country where although people are economically rich but if they are poor in health, discriminated education, lack of personal right as well we can't call it progress. As a second factor we can perceive technological factor because today is technological world. Furthermore it has been necessity of every individual country because in these days technological pace has developed day by day. Every country want to improve their techno-advancement for citizens better lyfe style. For instance today people haven't commit most of the time to work and they can involve different kind of activity because of technological progress.
on the other hand, i would like to say economical factor is more important rather than other because other factor are always relay on economic factor. For instance we can perceive child better life in which his/ her first priority has shelter food cloth materials for education which can only provides through money.
In conclusion, although technological, social, economical and political factor are for a overall country development but from those in my point of view economics is initially important.

It is undeniable fact that the importance of economic factor in a country progress cannot neglected in a modern world. Since then world has become a global village, it is quite obvious that others factors also play an important role as well. The things were different in past but now they are changed tremendously.
Some people seem to be convinced that only economic progress reflects any country’s success. On the other hand some argue that other factors are more important.
The fact that the country progress not entirely I depend on one factor. However, other factors like education, social security, political conditions, job security and public health are also important factors.
One side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of other factors. Considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that these factors are of significant importance since the economic issues alone cannot be thought sufficient for the betterment of the people of a country.
People also provide facilities in term of health and also need to be properly treated. This is government responsibly to should start health awareness programs. Education is the basic need of an individual from birth, which is another important factor in any country success. If we educate one generation it automatically carries to another. It becomes and assets of a country. All new graduates provide job opportunity to start with their career.
Country should provide more employment opportunities in order to have secure future. I believe that men and women should be equally treated and there will not be any disclamation in term of gender.
Political conditions also play vital role in success. If the country political situations are stable so the people spend their lives securely.
To final re-capsulate the perception indeed, we need to crystallize and see all the aspects of all facts which help in success of a country. The solution is in unity. Government should take inline strong actions practically by provided facilities and opportunities.

Hello,Simon!

I’ve written Writing Task 2. please my humble request to check to above post and advice me.

Thanks and regards
Sitwat

although economic progress is valuable in evaluating country's progress, I think many other factors for example health care, education, social security and and the availability and equality in job opportunities are also important.
in order to create a successful country you should first built a society capable of taking that country to a different level, a society armed with knowledge coming from strong educational system that opens minds to new destinations taking in consideration that this knowledge would be transformed to the following generations.
in addition people need to be treated properly when they get sick, this comes through high stander of medical services.
Effective supervision of law, allow people to feel safe and secure. On the other hand peaceful countries are good places for investment that not only opens the way for the country to develop, but also contributes in the creation of thousands of job opportunities.
i think the factors collectively reflect, indicate and contribute in country's progress.As there is no development in country suffering from poverty and nescience, no progress in country whose citizens fight for their basic needs.

Hi Simon
I've written writing task 2. please can you send me your advise


Thanks and regards
Masaa

Here is an essay question that appear in academic ielts 7th september. I have attemped to answer this task.
In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?
Nowadays, small civic centre markets are losing or have lost the trade simply just because people used to drive to big suburb super markets. This trend leads the individuals a restricted entrance to out of urban outlets, and ultimately number of vehicles get increased. In my view, drawbacks of this alteration outweigh the advantages.
On the one hand, there are many drawbacks of this change affecting the entire surrounding around us. First, people who do not own cars have inadequate admittance to out of city provision stores. Second, if people visit these big out of urban super markets, the number of vehicles would increase considerably. This would lead to global warming. More cars mean a high volume of traffic can be seen on the roads. This over growing traffic makes the urban areas more congested, more air polluted and more crowded. For example, in Hyderabad, India, there is a giant super market named as Bada Bazar located in the suburb of the city centre. The street on which this super market is situated always crowded and it usually takes hours to reach there. As this shows that increasing number of cars is advantageous. Thus, it can be concluded from this example that visiting out of town shopping malls by using their private transport is having more drawbacks that its benefits.
On the other hand, there are some arguments that benefit the car owners visiting out of city shopping centers in some way. The prices are cheaper than the street markets. There is promotion also available on wide range of foods, clothing and electronic devices. In this way, any one in particular family can save enough money by purchasing products in large quantities. For example, one of my friends usually drives to out of civic outlets for his weekly shopping. Thus, it is clear that there are some limited benefits too.
In conclusion, it has been shown that the trend of visiting out of city provisional stores considerably do not benefit the people as a whole.

comments are welcomed.

Economic progress is considered to be one of the key indicators of a country’s success.However, there are some other factors that play significant roles in determining the overall competitiveness of a country. Political stability and a sound social health and welfare system are among the top of those crucial influencing power.

It is undoubtedly true that successful country could not exist without right decisions taken by citizens in different spheres of life. Although, many commentators are of the view that economic progress is one of the most significant reasons leads to a county’s prosperity, I think that the number of other factors are also involved.


Naturally, country’s prosperity is a consequence of a strong educational system. In fact, almost all successful countries provide a high level of education for their inhabitants; governments invest huge amount of money in high education with the practical purpose to obtain professionals in every field of economy or, in other words, to maintain country effectiveness. At the same time national resources are also really important for modern countries. This is mainly because it gives the country an opportunity to obtain a stable level of income from national resources export; hence government has enough money in budget for pension, medicine and educational programs.


It seems to me that wise management is the most important factor leads to prosperity. Obviously, it is unimaginable to develop the county without specialists who know how to make it true. A good illustration of this is China that became one of the world leaders mainly because they have organized intelligent administration in every part of national economics. Alternatively, Mozambique, one of the poorest countries in the world, constantly living in a civil war, was one of the most fashionable and expensive spa resort in the world when it was the Portuguese colony.


In conclusion, economic progress is definitely one of the most important factors of welfare country. However, economical progress it selves is a consequence of complex actions taken by citizens in order to live in successful county.

Kindly comment

All other factors most of my friends including Simon used here as an idea are actually define economy progress or growth. Or you can say are the sub components or dimensions of economy progress.

Increase in goods production and increase in wealth of nation - impact of GDP etc define economy and when it goes higher actually all of this because of better knowledgeable or educated people - trained- technology - infrastructure healthcare

So can anyone explain me here What is that factor with which we are comparing Education , Healthcare etc etc....appreciate it..thanks

Hello dear simon and friends
Here is my introduction

Countries rankings have recently become an important issue. An issue which is second-to-none in term of its importance to our society.
How ever, experts use economical assess for ranking it seems that other factors can be include.

Hi Simon and everyone,

I'm a person who met this subject in real exam on 12th Oct.
Unfortunately I couldn't manage to write well..But I'm glad to have a chance to review it. Here is my intro.

Economic development is one of the important factor when we talk about the success of nation. Although people have various view how to define and which statistics reflect the country's success, I think it can be judged from combination of some key factors and education system is most important of them.

Thanks.

Hi Simon,

i got a band 5.5 in this essay and I feel so exhausted. Because my overall response was quite good i think. Therefore, I sent my writing for remark.
Is it possible to write 'whether one factor is more important than other factor' discussion on introduction phase instead of before the conclusion?

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