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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

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Is this introduction and conclusion right?

topic: Polices in some countries don’t carry guns and some people don’t approve of this because they think that polices with guns give them security. Others think that polices carrying guns increase crimes. Discuss both and give your opinion.

IN: Police forces play an essential role in our daily lives, which ensure the basic security of life and help us solve numerous problems. It is increasingly seen that police carry guns in some countries .However, those who object to guns for police force think that this will enhance the rate of crime. I am of the opinion that it is not necessary that every police carries a gun.

CO: To sum up, I personally think that not every police officer can carry a gun, especially those who do not need to confront with dangerous arrest actions and just do some paper works.

No one can deny the fact that the economic development is one of the most significant factors which is usually used to evaluate the country’s progress. While other people think that other elements such as health care, law enforcement and well-developed infrastructure should be considered to measure the country’s success, I believe that Education is the most significant aspect that determines the country’s progress.

On one hand, there are several factors that need to be considered to gauge a success of a country. Firstly, developed nations such as Australia and Canada provide its citizens with first class health care which is almost free for all people. Secondly, first-world countries similarly enforce strict rules and regulations and apply penalties on people who breach them. In United Arab of Emirates for example, no one can drive their car without fasten the seatbelt or talking over the phone because they fear the consequences of breaking the rules. Finally, a well-developed infrastructure such as safe roads and tunnels is a real reflection of a successful nation.

On the other hand, I believe that Education is the most significant element that defines the development and success of a given country. Well educated countries such as The United Kingdom provides their people with solid education systems and tools which help in the improvement of the whole country. It does equip people with the knowledge of different aspects of life such as science and technology; consequently it prepares them to participate effectively in the work force. Moreover, education has effect on all life elements, such as health and social problems. Educated countries has higher life expectancy because they aware of what to eat and how to lead a healthy life. Finally, well cultured nations have less unemployment and crime rates.

In conclusion, economic growth is essential in defining successful countries. However several elements of success such as providing quality health care, enforcing rules and regulations and implementing useful infrastructure should be considered when measuring successful nations. In my point of view, education is the most effective aspect of gauging any country’s accomplishment.

Hi Simon & Everyone,

I tried to write full essay and would like to share.

Economic development is one of the important factor when we consider about the success of nation. Although people have various views how to define the success and which statistics is reflected of it, I think it can be determined from combination of some key factors and education system is most important one of them.

Generally speaking, GDP and GNP which are associated with development of nation show productivity of country. If we are thinking about the status of country it should be consider how to use them, at the same time. As they are, education system, social welfare and the right of expression, can be think. The education system which is representative as literacy rate or the school attendance rate are important factors to know the competitiveness power of nation. Also well featured social security system is vital function for a development country. Lastly as long as economic is growing ,if there is no freedom to express ourselves we can not say the nation would be success. Thus it would be needed all of them to

Among these factors, education system is the most significant measure I suppose. Because it is only one way to people can improve their living standard by them selves. It is quite hard to change the life without fundamental education, even though government support them in various way.
Secondly it become the base of other factors. Educated person can be more productive and contribute nation's profit, and also they tend to pay attention to health of themselves and their family members that would reduce health care expenses. It would be influence for crime rate and the political issue as well.

In conclusion, while there are several measures represent the status of nation , proper education system and its quality are inevitable for sustainable success of country.


Thanks..

Simon you are brilliant!!!

Hello Simon. I am Levent from Turkey. I have been working in a bank named as Türkiye İş Bankası A.Ş for a year. I must take 6.5 to attend the promotion exams for the bank. I attended an IELTS exam last April 27th and took 5.5.. I havent used English in any area for 2 years and I must study. What is your valuable advices to me to take 6.5 and over? Thanks a lot for your interest :)

Dear Levent YILDIRIM,
Need to practice more.
Please follow all the pose of this web-site carefully.

Hi Mina,

As you asked us to consider your essay, Id provide you with some comments on your writing. First of all, one can easy notice that you have problems with prepositions and word choice,

Ex:when we consider about the success of nation==> when we consider the ...
Ex:various views how to ==>views on how
Generally speaking==>is informal


Article:show productivity of country==> a country( you made this mistakes frequently.

Second, you did not develop many ideas,leaving them without any support, and a reader gets into muddled what do you want to say?
Ex:As they are, education system, social welfare and the right of expression, can be think. The education system which is representative as literacy rate or the school attendance rate are important factors to know the competitiveness power of nation. Also well featured social security system is vital function for a development country??

I'm afraid I had no time leave more comments. But try to not use more complicated sentences, and give more important to structures.

Good Luck

I am attending a self-study writing for 7.0 guidence in my country. I find Simon is a great helper. Who want to share ideas to get 7.0 in writing please email to springtime1004@yahoo.com. I need someone who can exchange ideas to achieve 7.0 in writing.

Thank you

Hi Salamat,

Thank you for your kind advices. As I couldn't realized my weak points,your advices are great helpful for me.I'll read it carefully and try to improve it.Thanks a lot for taking your time.

This is an old topic. However, I would request you all to suggest me some improvements if you find any.

Thanks in advance.

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Everyone is searching for happiness in various forms. Some people search it in the form of valuables or money, but even the wealthy people are in the pursuit of happiness. Happiness means different things to different people and this essay would highlight some of those aspects.

People have always been hunting for happiness. Since ages, even the most powerful kings have been in the hunt of happiness. However, it has diverse meanings associated with it, depending on one’s need and perspective. For some, it could be defined as a feeling of pleasure or enjoyment; whereas for others it is something that they gain by helping someone. People achieve a sense of happiness by spending time with their friends or family. Others find happiness in bringing up their children. Apparently, different people interpret this term in different ways depending on many factors such as stage of life, gender, their requirements and so on. Hence, it is an abstract term.

Nonetheless, there are many factors which contribute to living happily. Firstly, health is an important element of life. One could not be able to relish each and every moment of life without being healthy. Secondly, relationships play a fundamental role in enjoying life. Every individuals need a companion to share their success stories and enjoy those moments. One definitely needs a company of his/her friends or family members to enjoy an achievement. In addition to these two, I believe money also has a key role. For instance, a middle class working person would always require certain amount of money to fulfill the demands of his or her family and that person would be delighted by performing this moral responsibility.

In brief, although happiness is difficult to define, it is achievable. People are likely to become happy if they become content and give more values to whatever they possess.

________________________________

Regards,
Piyush

There are wide Spectrum of scale that can be use for measure countries’ rate of wealthy success, more of them related to economic and some others depend on non-economic factors and in my point of view the set of main factors is important.
Countries Economic indexes usually represented in wide variety which are available for who beneficiary such as World Bank, World Union or other countries and etc. although this information is necessary but it’s not enough for realize which countries generally work well or not. In recent decade there was some example of bankrupt countries that represented best view of economic situation on the paper without mention to the other problems which is effect on general condition. According to this argument it’s easy to understand economic indexes are manipulatable and non-reliable.
In my idea there are some other factor that should be consider as substantial factor such as education, capital resource and health care . In the other hand should be attend to a set of variables don’t have directly relation with economic but have effect on authorities’ future and make a value. For example education is a most important considerable subject for ranking government’s success rate. Wealthy education system will be introducing valuable expert persons who will participate to make a better future.
In conclusion, nations can be assessed and compared in a variety of ways, but I would argue that the standard of a country's education system is the best indicator of its success

Please could anyone clarify the type of this question ?

I thinks its 4 . is that right ?

Dear Simon,
This is a topic I recently met as follows:
People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and sometimes has a negative influence on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I my essay ,I agree with this statement,and I don not mention the positive impacts of commercials. However, my teacher told me that I have to write something about advantages of advertising,otherwise ,I would not answer questions fully. I cannot understand why?
I appreciate your help and hope your reply sincerely.

Hi Simon!
Iam a bit confusing with this topic: “ The economic development brings a better life to people but only people in developing countries do feel happier while those in developed ones are less. Why is this and state your view?
The topic asks for reason for this belief and also requires my own opinion. Does it mean I have to agree with it? If not, how can I illustate my view that people in both developing and developed countries all get happiness as well as some difficulties ( pollution, competive job market)? Can you give me the arrangement of the ideas? (Just what each paragraph)
Please help me. Thank you
Wait for you answer

In the breakneck pace of modern world, economic prosperity worldwide grows by leaps and bounds. Some people think that economy plays a major factor for nation's development while others think otherwise. For me, other factors like political system, education and environment are equally important for a nation's progress.

First of all, it is without a doubt that economy is a major element to gauge a nation's development. Specifically, the outflow of cash is necessary in order to purchase basic products and services. However, it is important to have a controllable inflation rate so that basic products and services are at reasonable prices. For this reason, political system plays an important role. More often than not, inflationary measures are implemented to control the prices. Also, through laws and ordinances that mitigate crimes and corruptions greatly contribute to a nation's progress.

Furthermore, education is vital for the development of a nation. The schools and universities that can able to produce knowledgeable individuals that can give a quality labor in the society helps a nation to progress because of innovators and inventors that reshape the people's way of life. For instance, Bill Gates successfully developed Microsoft. In turn, it doesn't only aid many people to store and analyze data conveniently but also aid employment in the society.

Finally, environment plays another equally important factor in nation's success. This is because natural calamities such as typhoons, earthquakes, floods and so on are hindrance for a nation's development. The recent typhoons and earthquakes that strike the central Philippines destroy many properties. To make matters worse, many lives are loss. Unfortunately, almost all of the victims start from a scratch in order to build their society.

To put this whole matter in a nutshell, it is true that economy is an important indicator for a successful nation, albeit political system, education and environment are equally important too.

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