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Wednesday, August 07, 2013

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Hi SImon,

In second para,you mentioned more about why artist should be supported by government.
But you have not mentioned about other resources.
For example , I would write,

I thinks to avoid descrimination against other professional,they should funded by othe resources.For example, university students have to borrow loan from bank or society,so artists should get financial help from these resources.

Please let me know whts your opinion.
I had a same topic and my ideas were same as what you mentioned in your essay and I got 5.5.
Then I thought I might have to write something like this in opposite view.

Thanks

Hi:
Tnx for your efforts.It is great .Would you please tell me the band score of this writing?

Is this question had given in IELTS exam in 2013??

Hi Simon,
Is it necessary to write a topic sentence in 2nd and 3rd paragraphs?. My teacher suggests us to write a concluding sentence each paragraph.

Thank you so much!

hi Simon,
how should I work on this essay??
I can't write more then 150 words.

hi,would you pls tell the bandscore?what is te bandscore of this writing

Hi Redwan,

As I understood, your issue is that you don't have adequate information to develop your essay to reach 250 words limit. You can get main idea from the topic but it is not enough to build a good essay. If you have sufficient supportive information with you it is easy to write an essay with very good flow.as well as it will avoid repetition.

Best thing is reading some articles and build up your information base and grow up your vocabulary.

Dear Ladies and gentlements,
I heartly welcome to all of your comments.

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views about the funding of creative artists. Some people agree that funding of creative artists is the responsibility of the government. However, many others have completely different argument and believe in alternative ways. While, I tend towards my viewpoint is that it is the duty of the state.

One the one hand, creative artists such as painter and musicians are the ornaments as well as pride of the any nation because they always contribute their valuable and incredible skills. Art and sculpture are the important things which help to introduce about country’s culture and heritage. It’s undeniably true that the cities and places are less interesting and less attractive without art and sculpture. Furthermore, it is the good way of developing tourism in the state which helps to earn revenue and support for the economic development of the country so that why government shouldn’t funding on creative artists?

One the other hand, there are other necessities in the country in which sectors may most be preferred. Many Asian and African nations are still under the poverty where people are struggling every day for food. Support money for creative skills may be overambitious and imagination for such type of countries. Food, housing, healthcare, safety drinking water, education and others basic needs are much more essential part than artists and musicians so government should be serious when they separate the budget. Creative can be collect money from concert and selling their materials. Moreover, developed countries can help to poor countries to promote these types of works and skills.
In conclusion, government should support the fund any areas of development of the countries. However, they have prefer to funding at basic necessities and food, water, healthcare and education are most preferable than creative art or artists.

thankyou simon...

[email protected]<<

use MS Word as attachment. That'll help check some spacing and grammar slips. Your E$s@-y-s are welcome

Hi Simon,

Some people told me that we should not write something like " I believe" or "In my opinion" in the first paragraph, even if the question asks about your opinion. They believe we need to put them in the conclusion after a series of arguments. Then I check the Cambridge IELTS 8 and 9, the model essays prove it. What do you think about it?

Hi Simon,

When I write an essay,I often edit my work by crossing out the sentences and inserting better wordings/sentences. I notice that it makes my essay looks really messy. Will this affect the marker's impression and give me a lower band as a result?

Hi Simon, I think the following task 2 question is really difficult. I noticed that you listed "It can create multi-cultural societies" in your ebook. Would you please give more advice on the ideas? Thanks a lot!

Some people think that people who immigrate to a new country should accept the new culture as their own rather than live as separate minority groups with different lifestyles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Dear Marja23

The first thing that I've noticed is although you made your position in intro explicity, you went in favour of both views. Having looked at Simon's essay, you see he did support both of them, because of his position in the intro. In the second paragraph you could say about opposite side and then went to give some reasons to show how you oppose them, or simply add other reasons.

However, I corrected the introduction and the first paragraph, but as I think you need to change the second paragraph, I did not work on it. Hope you find it useful

here is your revised essay,(intro+1st paragraph)

People have different views about the funding of creative artists. While some people may think that artists should look for other financial resources, I think this is the responsibility of the sate that provides them with government funding.


One the one hand, innovative artists such as painters and musicians are of great value to a society, as they are always there to contribute greatly to our society. Sculptors and painters, for example, their tasks introduce our cultures to other parts of the world, preventing that cultural heritage that handed down from previous generations will be lost. Moreover, their works either in museums available or being predicted on the city’s wall makes cityscape more attractive not only for citizens but also for tourist. Needless to say, a rise in the number of tourists may result in higher income that can be spent on the developing of a country or city.

Thank you very much M.S.
You are correct

FROM SIMON:

Please note that the essay I wrote with my students is not perfect. There are no problems with grammar, vocabulary or organisation, but the 'task response' could be improved. I think 'jms' is right (see first comment at the top): paragraph 3 doesn't say enough about 'alternative sources' of funding. We could have written more about artists (e.g. painters) selling their work, performing in public to raise money (e.g. musicians), or funding themselves through loans, donations etc.

The essay above would still get a high score (maybe band 8), but the lesson to learn from this is: keep checking that your answer "fully responds to the question"!

Dear Simon:
My name is Nili. And I am currently living in Australia. My situation is very bad: continuing to get 6.5 or 6 in writing. Have tried few ways and nothing has worked. I did buy your book that is very helpful. However, I am lost and do not know what to do to achieve 7 in writing. Please help. My recent scores: listening8.5, reading 8, writing 6.5 and speaking 7.5.
Please help.
Thank you so much

Dear Simon,
I got my results today for 27 Jul, IDP
L : 7.5
R : 8.5
W : 6.5
S : 6.5
I just went through your lessons for 2 weeks and it helped me a lot, especially in READING module, but I need 7 in all.
Thanks a lot Simon, your tips are very useful and effective, need some more practice to get my desired results.

Thanks,
Krish

This is the question last may 25, 2013

*was

i was surprised when Simon actually deleted my comment regarding this essay and i dont think i wrote anything wrong.
Here is the original comment:
This is a fairly good essay for task 2. However, in my opinion, the score should be within the range of 7 to 7.5 maximum.

Hi Simon

I have a question.Does writing too much affect scoring? for example 300 words?
I suppose that the examiner would be bored perhaps...

Here is my attempt to answer this essay.
People have different opinions about the funding of creative artists. While others argue that the government should not support artists, I believe that the grant should come from both the government and other sources.
On the one hand, there are some good reasons for believing that the state should help for renovating some of the art works. In central parts of a city, there are museums, art galleries, statues and sculptures. For example, in my home town, Bangalore, India, there are several statues and art galleries, which need to be renovated in order to give them a new look. Art related projects and works reflects the culture, heritage and history. These art works are playing a key role in educating the public about the town. Authorities should grant money to artists to produce the masterpiece of their work.
On the other hand, there are strong views against government support to artists, because the state has many important concerns. An instance illustrating in action is that much of the budget need to be spend on education, health care, urbanization and defense. Another opinion is that artists work like other professional workers, so they can earn money on their own by selling their paintings. As this debate shows that art performers can get financial support from other resources.
In conclusion, my belief is that art performer should be funded by both local authorities and other plans. It is predicted that artists should be supported, when it comes the pride of the cultural renovation.

Hi aaron
Im wondering if you are an examiner or simply scored this essay based on your thought.

My friend and I are at odds over whether or not with this question type an opinion in the introduction is required. I would welcome your input.

Bob in the Philippines

Hi Simon,

Can we use ‘quotation’ in the essay? Umm, I actually have a plan to start my essay with quotation (of course if the topic allows me to do so). To illustrate, lets say the topic is ‘Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold’. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Can I have the following introduction: ‘Brother, please convince dad to buy me Galaxy S4′-said my 12 years old younger brother. I was wondering why a 12 years old would need a Galaxy S4. Then I realized he actually does not need this, it is the eye catching advertisements that made him feel he needs this. Truly, people nowadays buy many things because of the attractive advertisements, even if they actually do not need this.

Umm how do you rate this introduction? Is there any problem to use ‘quotation’? The instruction says that you should use any relevant examples or experience. So logically there should not be any problem, right? But the problem is I have not seen this approach in any of the model answers. So not sure whether this is a good one

Thanks in advance

Hi aaron,

I also faced same situation like you. Simon deleted one of my comment which I wrote for Redwan. I really got upset when I understood that it was deleted by Simon. But Simon is the one of a greatest IELTS teacher I have seen. I believe that he is doing wonderful job for IELTS students. Therefore don't worry about it.

FROM SIMON:

Hi Nili,

You're very close to getting the scores you need, so my advice is just to keep trying!

...

Congratulations Krish! I'm glad my advice and tips helped.

...

Hi Aaron,

I deleted your original comment, but I'll leave it there now that you've posted it again. You're entitled to your opinion, but it would be more helpful if you explained it. I disagree by the way.

...

Hi Nazanin,

No, there is no maximum word count.

...

Hi Bob,

The rule that I follow is this: your introduction should cover everything that is asked of you in the question. For this reason I'd include my opinion in the introduction.

...

Hi Zayed,

You should definitely NOT include quotations or speech like that - this is not appropriate. Just follow my simple introduction technique - look through my lessons to find more about it.

...

Hi Nuwan,

Your comment is there now. My website system put it in the spam folder - sorry, I don't know why that happened.

Hi Simon,

Sorry for late reply,I had horrible last week.busy with family and didnt get chance to visit your website.

First of all I am saluting to your honesty that you accepted missing bit of essay.If your essay get 8 then I can say my essay was worth 6 band.I scored 5.5 but that doesnt really matter as I need 7.hopefully I can score next time.
Nowdays, essays are not straightforward.you need a brain to develop ideas.You need english as well as genral knowledge otherwise you might struggle.
I am your student(have taken you classes) but due to continuous failure not publishing my name.
But I am determined to clear this exam,and then will come up with my name.
Thanks

Hi Aaron,

I do not think Simons essay can get 7 or 7.5, definately its above 8 for sure.
I have score 7.5 in writing twice,so 100% Simons essay can not be 7.5.I would say atleast 8.5.I know my english level.
I hope you can write an essay here,so we all can take an advantage of your essay.

Easiest job in the world to criticize someone who is helping others,and most difficult job is to help other without any expectation.


Thanks Simon.

Whether public money should be spent on creative artists or other financial resources should be allocated is a matter of debate. However, artists should be looking for alternative sources rather than government funding.

It is widely accepted that the government should step in some essential areas such as medical care and education to raise standard of living. People require much more health care than establishing theatre and galleries to unsure that they can have safer lifestyle and a country can eliminate illiteracy. In this case that a government can pave the way for economic development and shake off poverty and people live better off. In fact, health care and education is two wing of developing of a country.

In addition to this, the arts are more likely to be survived with no help of the state. Creative artists including musicians and painters are able to hold their business with the help of the private sectors which enthusiastic to invest in this area. There are, however, many galleries, museums and concerts running either by artists or businesspeople who seek to have a return on their investments.

Moreover, it is likely that those arts created or produced by government funding would have a tendency towards governments’ thought. In totalitarian governments, for example, it is likely to see biased artists’ works as they are already funded by the government, driving them to support a certain thought.

In conclusion, I believe that government funding should go somewhere required more help and is essential to the well-being of society such as health care and education. However, the arts are able to find their own ways and become independent to not be fund by the state.

Dear Simon, here is the rewrite of the P3.

Meanwhile, other funding sources are also non-ignorable. When some more important concerns of government such as healthcare, security and education are consuming the budget, thousands of artists are enjoying the help from charities, individuals and other organizations to achieve their dream. However, the uncertainty and limited sponsorship would not be able to the primary support for the un-well known artists.

Looking forward to hear from you

Q today, the high sale of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertisement and not the real need of society in which they are sold.
what extant do you agree or disagree?
Ans..whether the advertisement influenced people to buy unnecessary product which they even don not need or they are un
important to buy. it is still a controversial issue. so, I partly agree with this idea.
to begin with, technology has huge impact on people when they making choice to buy things. For example, advertisement on television which has been given by one of their favourite actor, model or well known personality would attract a person to buy it. Even though things that individual bought would not be essential for him. As a result, there could be many unnecessary product would be gathered which indicate wastage of money .
{that the introduction and first paragraph which I wrote about this statement could anyone help me read and tell me is that good for 7 band or not}

Hi Simon,
Thanks for your reply to my last question.
If asked do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages,do I need to discuss both sides or simply the side I agree with. Value your comments.

Hi Simon and everyone,
This is the first time I've ever posted my essay here, so hope you guys will help me to correct it :D
I read Simon's essay to have some ideas and then try to rewrite, so there are a few similarities :)


"It is a fact that we have many views of what source should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Some people think that support to these artists should come from government while others believe that we do need to find alternative sources, but in my opinion, support should be raised from both kinds of fund.
On the one hand, many products of creative artists are public property and they are not owned by any particular individual, therefore, they should be supported by public fund. In the UK, for example, variety of statues and sculptures in the streets or squares, which need redeveloping annually, are fund by government’s revenue. Another reason is that some creative products present culture, heritage and tradition of a country and they have been attracting more visitors and tourists. As a result, government should support those kinds of art to develop tourism and introduce their culture to all over the world.
On the other hand, it is understandable that there are many arguments against government funding creative artists. The most common reason is that government has more important concerns namely education, healthcare, infrastructure or economy. For instance, many people find it more reasonable to spend money building new schools or hospitals instead of opening a musical concert or art gallery. Therefore, finding alternative sources is a good way to decrease the pressure against government spending. Last but not least, artists can fund themselves by selling their products as well as performing in public to raise fund.
In conclusion, I believe that creative artists should be supported by many sources in the economy, such as individuals or organizations, and sometimes, government support is also needed."

Thanks.

Here comes some model answers for IELTS writing: https://www.facebook.com/hocvietielts

On the other hand, Government can create local bodies who can accommodate artists and musical bands in low budget but it will be waste of assets. In my consideration, arts is adapted naturally and people who have arts skill can create their position by their natural talent that cannot be created with money. Question arises how much funding would be needed for creating arts schools? The answer is present in the question musical bands perform in every ceremony either its marriages or either its official event and this is the main school of learning for new talent. Artists needs platforms rather than institutes for learning arts. Arts is adapted easily as Arts is natural talent and if Governments starts funding on this side may be it produce some artists. Many institutes offer arts to the students who can’t study in science and some institutes feel it as asset of their family so they transfer their talents to their wards.

Dear Simon,

You have done a great job.I had started my essay with quotation in my last exam.I scored only 5.5.I am so worried.I am giving exam again in september 21.I need 6 minimum in each band and 6.5 overall.I have just found you web site.

My teacher has suggested me to start essay with quotation or with question.

Hi Simon,
I am very weak in listening and reading.scored 5.5 each.how can i improve both of these two.
Thank you a lot.

Hi,
I am weak in listening and reading, how can I improve my skills?
Thanks

Hi Simon
As is seen in your writing, you expressed your opinion as a sentence only at the end of introduction and conclusion. Is that enough?

Dear friend
is it possible for you to correct and score this essay too?
thanks in advance
//====================================
The argument that government should support artworks and artists financially would be true at first glance, although depending on the situation, it can loose it’s strength to some extent. In my idea. I believe that these artworks certainly need a part of government budget but the amount of this would be a good question.
On one hand, it can be seen in many parts of the world that artworks such as historical monuments, sculptors and other kind of art structures could have a main role in tourism industry. Artworks like painting, carpeting can even be shown or exhibited in museums, palaces in order to help foreign people to be acquainted of culture and history of this people. Theater and film industry can be another powerful income resource. The more this industries improve, the more income that government gain. Needless to say that if it haven’t provide financial resource for these kind of artworks, we wouldn’t have seen such unique samples.
In another view, many society’s economical conditions doesn’t let them to finance on art and artworks. These societies face to many financial problems in governing . it might have been more substantial for them to devote budget in vital living problems. As well as this, many of the artist can earn money by selling their works by setting up international auctions. Not only there exists many countries which are are eager in supporting them, but also there are a lot of people who are in passionate with art and artworks. So, if government budget is not enough for artist support, they will probably find some alternative funding resources. However, the likelihood of creating some unique national artworks will be abated.
In conclusion, I think that it would be really important for a country to support their artist financially and even spiritually, however, it might have been considered too that the vital living needs of people is prerequisite.

hi simon
im shiva from tehran,iran
i have a ielts exam on 26 october (about 1 month later), i need to get 7 in 4 skill, i have a big problem, i self study the ilets material and my problem is that there is no body who i can speak with, so i fear from "speaking" skill , its my weak point i think, what is your advice?
(your website is very useful and thanks for run it)

Hi simon
i have problem with my writing ....i wanna improve it plz help me

HI I THINK YOUR ESSAY IS VERY GOOD, OF COURSE YOU ARE EX-IELTS EXAMINER. WELL, I WANNA SAY, JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, I WROTE TWO LITTLE STORIES, AND I SHOWED TO AN AMERICAN TEACHER, HE SAID I HAD AT LEAST TEN ERRORS, NOT MORE THAN TWENTY. I WAS SHOCKED, CUZ I CHECKED AND CHECKED BEFORE I SEND TO HIM. I AM CONFUSED...

Hi Simon

I am studying for ielts exam for two months but my language skills not too strong. Because this is the my first year with English and i need 5 band score from this exam quickly. So, i wrote somethings about this topic. I am ashamed because there are many faults in my essay but i am wondering is it enough for 5? Thanks for all your supports!


It is difficult imagine a world without arts, painters or musicians. So, i think these people need government's support for make their job easily. In this essay i will discuss to two contrast opinions about that.

On the one hand, according to some views artists should be supported by different sources. It is looking good but not easy. Some foundations and instutions provide a support for art but it is not enough every time. Therefore, in last decade, this issue is discussed by many writers and researchers in the world. According to these, the best way for support arts is the creating to regular and continually sources for arts. This won't realize with alternative sources.

On the other hand, some people think that government ought to fiscal support to artits. I totally agree this belief because arts and artists are most valuable things for nations. When they need any support, they should find what they need. So, government is stronger than other sources. Some authors will can say this is not goverment's duty but i don't think like them. For instance, some of arts are really expensive. A musician can need new mediums, piano, guitar or something about her art but this items too expensive for them. If their instruments are broken, they can not resume their job anymore.

In conclusion, there are some different views about which sources should support to artists but i strongly believe that government should support arts and artists.

Hi Simon,

In this essay, you wrote something for both views because task was related to discuss them. If the task says "do you agree or disagree", should we choose one of these opinions or should we write an essay like that?

Thanks for your interest.
Regards,
Tezcan

Hi Simon,

I want to ask you about the same last question by: Tezcan

so, that why you discuss both views?

thanks simen

Hi Simon

In this essay you supported both views,so could we support both views and in 3rd paragraph,u wrote "In conclusion" shoud we write this word in the starting of the 3rd para?

Can you check essays on daily bases.

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