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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

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Hi Simon

This essay is good.Some words and short phrases are used with coherence.

1) As the topic metioned, "Discuss both these views and give your own opinion", I guess there must be paragraph 1, which should disscuss the opinions of both sides. I am very curious about that how the writter disscu the both sides.That would be very important as it would be at the beginning.
2}"some people feel the need ",should "need" need to be changed to "needs"?
3}The writter used some very good words.I will note them down. very good ones.such as
significant
encounter
routine
predictable

Hi Simon..I'm gonna ask you something.I've been trying to produce good essays for a long time, and in most cases I've no idea what to write about.So, I'm thinking of memorizing best essays for My IELTS Exam as a last resort and I need to know where I can find them..I'll appreciate your time.Thanks.

Firstly, I learnt that I should clearly mention my opinion (agree or disagree) in the first sentence of the paragraph explaining sequence using “firstly, secondly, finally” linking words and I should give at least one example related to the topic.
The ideas look original and have been presented logically.
Make significant changes
Encounter a new situation
An opportunity to learn
Grow as a person
Present challenges
Push to adapt
Acquire knowledge
Skill set
Represent a break
Boring routine
Make fun
Physical health

I learn that you divide paragraph in three parts with logical reason.
1 represent career opportunity
2 break boring routine
3 physical and mental health
Your combination of two words are logically and represent a good vocab.

Hi Simon,

Do we need to give out our opinion at the end of the introduction paragraph like this???

awesome!! I wish I could write my ideas like the given paragraph....

I would say flow of the paragraph is great,by which I mean Its easy to follow whole paragraph and the you hav edescribed the idea in detail.It seems you are reading story without scratching your head.

The way you describe your last sentece.

1st Idea about new experience(why good or advantage) then example,
2nd para about comparison or opposite view- comparing with past experience by giving any negative idea of past experience to support why new experience is good.

Here is my complete essay. Comments are welcome.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Some people always do same things for their entire life, where as others try to learn something out of change. I personally feel that change is always good and doing things routinely may cause problems.

There are some valid reasons why some people feel the need to make significant changes to their lives from time to time. Any new situation can be a learning opportunity and person grows from it. For example, a new job can present new challenges that force the person to acquire new knowledge. Recently, as part of organisational changes, I was asked to move to a new IT team. I knew that it was not an easy thing to work in an entirely new team and on a new technology. I accepted the challenge and within few months I have well adapted to the new environment and learned the new technology. It was very hard, but the sense of achievement was huge.

On the other hand, some people keep on doing the same things repeatedly. This may cause monotony of the work they are doing and eventually they lose interest on the task they are doing which may lead to faults. One of my friends was a typist. He was in that profession for almost 10 years. Initially it was fine, but as the time gone by he lost all his interest in typing and ended up with lots of typos in documents he typed. He changed his profession upon my suggestion and he is very happy now.

Based on my two experiences explained above, I strongly believe that change is necessary for everyone for the interesting and challenging life.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(274 words)

Hello Simon,

I have one question. In the middle of the paragraph, there is a sentence that I can't understand. The sentence is ' A new job, for instance, might present challenges that push the person to adapt, acquire new knowledge, or add to their skill set' and my question is what does 'their' refer to? 'some people' at the begining of the paragraph? or 'challenges' in the middle of the sentence?

My opinion about the paragraph:
Write 1 sentence to introduce the opinion about changes. Then followed by write ideas with at least 1 sentence about this topic using firstly, secondly, and finally structure of sentences collocation. Widely apply the vocab regarding this issues such as “new situation”, “opportunity to learn and grow”, “challenges”, “acquire new knowledge”, “routine”, boring and predictable”, “making life more fun and interesting” and good for our physical and mental health”. Overall, great organisation of ideas, structure, vocab and grammar.

There are good reasons why some people feel the need to make significant changes to their lives from time to time. (main sentence). (First reason) Firstly, any new situation that a person encounters can be an opportunity to learn and grow as a person. (an example) A new job, for instance, might present challenges that push the person to adapt, acquire new knowledge, or add to their skill set. (Second reason) Secondly, a change can represent a break with the past and an old routine which has become boring and predictable. (Third reason) Finally, as well as making life more fun and interesting, new experiences can be good for our physical and mental health.
More detailed answers:

Keep asking yourself "why?"
Explain the alternatives
Give an example

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own.

Plan:
(Same thing)
1. People feel secure if they do the same things;
2. Don’t need to face with difficulties;
3. Any changes don’t mean positive changes.
(Change)
1. Might change and improve their lives;
2. Give their children the best life, than before.

Over the last century the pace of change in the human beings’ lives has extremely increased. This has been driven by technological and scientific breakthroughs which are changing on daily basis. I personally believe that changes might considerably benefit all individuals.
On the one hand, there are those who argue that they have achieved some security by doing the same thing. Furthermore, it can be demonstrated that after certain achievements by the middle age many people are reluctant to face difficulties, such as change of place of work, city or country. Some believe that such changes necessity to start their life almost from scratch, even though they achieved some position in the society. Many people advocate that such changes do not always have a positive effect. There are those who tried to change their life for the best but in the end their lost more than they had.
On the other hand, people think that some changes might ameliorate their life. As a case in point, my life has extremely changed for the best recently. At present I have an opportunity to get into the best universities in Europe and as a result after graduating from the university find a better job with higher salary. In addition, some claim that changes may positively impact lives of people’s children and can be stimulating and encouraging for the youth.
To sum up, I do believe that alterations might open a variety of possibilities for individuals at any ages and any time.

Hi Simon,
here is my analysis .

1- Your paragraph has very good topic sentence ,so the reader will know that you are going to tell the "reasons why some people make changes to their lives."

2-you use "Firstly, Secondly and finally " to present different reasons.so the reader will not confuse.

3- you support your ideas by giving example"A new job for instance..."

4- The paragraph is planned well because the ideas are organised in sequence.

5- good vocabulary was used and it related to the topic like "
Boring routine
Acquire knowledge
Represent a break
Present challenges
Push to adapt

All these are good phrases.

6-various tenses was used correctly ,like
- has become boring (Present perfect tens)
- can be an opportunity to learn and grow as a person ( model verb" can be" + determiner" an opportunity + single countable nouns Must have determiner in-front
" a person ".
- superlative comparison "more fun and interesting."

6- finally word count nearly (105) for one paragraph is good.this means that the second paragraph will be around 110, so, 40 word is left for concise introduction and conclusion.

all the best .
EMAM


Some people make a change in their life to gain something special becuase their current life style is not fulfulling.For example,they change their job to achieve sense of satisfation if they are not happy at present job or some people change their job in order earn more money.Some psychologist believe that change is necessary for some people's well being and to avoid any negative impact on their health other these pepole are prone to many pschological illness such as depression etc.Some bad habits are etiological factors for many diseases so many people make a change in their habits to avoid suffering from these dieases.

Hi Emam,

I think you did a great job to show students how to thoroughly analyze a model essay.

Well done and keep it up!

Cheers,
Martin

Dear Simon,
This is my note for studying your paragraph.
Structure:Use"firstly","secondly"to methodize your point of view.
Some useful phrases and sentences
make significant changes
from time to time
an opportunity to learn and grow as a person
for instance
present challenges
push the person to adapt
acquire new knowledge
add to their skill set
represent a break
as well as doing something.

I really enjoyed and understood all Simon's website users on the topic above, especially from Fira, Ventat, Makhabbat, and Eman that dealt with the essay analysis, well done to everyone, am very optimistic that this will again assist me in my coming IELTS exam this coming sat-23rd. Thank you Simon for this your wonderful website.

Hi martin,

many thanks for your compliment,I wish I could write the similar paragraph in a real exam.
good luck for your exams if you are ieltser.
regards


Hi Emam,

Martin is an IELTS teacher. His advices and essays are also as good as Simon's. Search his name in this site. You will find some intereating discussions and essays.

Good luck.

Oh really!

that is great. I am new to this forum, I had doubted that he is a student for that reason I said "if you are ieltser,good luck for your exams"
any way many thanks ((venkat ))and good luck.

all the best

Hi Venkat,

Thanks for your kind words.
I'm not sure if I'm as good as Simon, but at least I try to help/contribute with the best of my knowledge/experience.

Good luck to you all!

FROM SIMON:

Thanks guys for some great analysis of the paragraph!

"Ted" noticed an interesting point: Why did I use the word "their" in the 3rd sentence? (might push the person... add to their skill set).

This is something that English speakers often do: when talking about "a person" we use "their" when we haven't specified whether the person is male or female. This does seem to break a grammar rule, so it's something I usually try to avoid (it slipped in here without me noticing!). An alternative would be using the plural "people" or writing "his or her skill set".

Here's a grammar site that goes into more detail about this issue:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/he-they-generic-personal-pronoun.aspx

Hi Simon

So we should avoid to use "their" instead of "he or she" in an essay?
But we still can use this kind of speaking in oral test ?
Do I catch up your meaning ?

I am really confused with the "plural" or "single" like the example you just mention. Can i say: "Any new situation that one may encounter can give them opportunities to learn an grow as a person". Can i use the word "them" to indicate "one"?

I appreciate your website and your useful guide. I never fail to visit it everyday. Hope that i can find your answer to my question soon. Thanks, Simon. Keep up your good job!


That was pretty awsome essay main paragraph which is written in an easily understanding way. The things that I prefer to mention are the combination of the words are perfect and also in a short sentences we are faced with many different issues that might lead us to think more.

Thank you simon,
Shervin

Dear Simon,
I am taking my IELTS exam on 6/04 and would really be grateful if you can evaluate the score for this essay and can give a hint where i can improve.

Some people argue that early marriage is part of traditional lifestyles in some countries and should be respected, others say it is damaging to young girls and their future.
Describe the arguments supporting both these positions and give your opinion.

Early marriage is a very relative term and its meaning may differ from one culture to another. Some argue from a cultural viewpoint that early marriage is ingrained in the traditional lifestyle of some countries and should be followed while on the counter side it is believed by some that it harms the psyche and hampers the career prospects of young girls. A conclusion will be drawn after analyzing both sides of this situation.

It is argued by one bracket of people that early marriage is a custom of the traditional lifestyles of the people in the developing part of the world and should be appreciated. For instance, India, a country deeply influenced by religion, race and tradition experience the highest number of early age marriages. According to the Indian culture and tradition it is strongly believed that children should get married early and take the responsibilities of home. As a result, the son is expected to marry early so that he can fulfill financial liabilities of family while his wife can take care of household chores. Since in some countries traditional values are of prime importance, it is argued by some that early marriages should be respected.

On the other hand, some perceive that early age marriages could have detrimental effects on career opportunities and phase transition in woman's life. For example, in India there exists a large percentage of women who are academically unfit for work or are not allowed to work by her husband’s family. This in turn restricts them to move ahead in career and downgrades their self-confidence and intellect. Thus, it is clear that why some argue that the future of young girls is affected by the tradition of early marriage.

In summary, after analyzing early marriages from a traditional and cultural view point and also studying its effect on the woman. In my opinion, personal well being and intellect which are developed from career progression are of prime importance and hence the idea that early marriage are a part of tradition cannot be supported. Living in the 21st century and dynamic global economy it is predicted that early marriages will decline and women around the world will experience more freedom and advance on career track.

Hi all

here is my essay, looking forward to receive any suggestion.

It is true that some people tend to live in a regular way without any changes in their daily lives. While some people would like to encounter some changes from time to time and I personally agree with this idea in the following reasons.

On the one hand, some people think there is no need to have change in their lives. Sometimes change is not always good for people and even leading to some bad results which could seriously affect people’s original lives. For example, it is difficult for some people who are used to the rural lifestyle to move to a city which is far cry from a local village. It may make them become unhealthy mentally or physically. Therefore, refusing to change and living in a steady lifestyle could be a safer and more comfortable way for this kind of people to live.

On the other hand, there are some reasons for people to happily accept changes in their lives. Firstly, some people think a changeable life is more fun and more interesting than a routine one. People can easily get lots of different experiences through encountering changes and, therefore, acquire more knowledge to become a well-rounded person. A new job, for instance, may let people not only learn new skills but also find out their own favorite interest in their career. Secondly, a changeable life implies a challenging life. People have to confront all of the bad results caused by some changes, and pull out all the stops to sort it out and, thus, get a huge sense of accomplishment from it.

To sum up, despite the fact that both of the viewpoints are reasonable, I still prefer to accept any changes and lead a challenging life.

Just had ielts today in Australia, would like to share essay topic.
Today children are not as fit and as healthy as they use to be in ancient time.
What are the causes for this?
How can these be solved?

Hi Senny,

Just to be clear: it won't affect your score at all if you use "their" in the way that I did - it might not be grammatically perfect, but native speakers do it all the time.

Hi All,

Just finished my test this morning, great feeling hopefully i did well.

Anyway something hits me. I think that 10 minutes planning is extremely helpful for my case, just like to share. Of course inspired by Simon, Thank You :)

Plan following this structure.
I.E: Today children are not as fit and as healthy as they use to be in the past.
What are the causes for this?
How can these be solved?
----------
Introduction: It is undoubtedly true...Unhealthy children..
Thesis: Agree, There are several causes & measures could certainly...

Paragraph 1: There are ____ major causes that created this trend.
Idea A: Unhealthy Lifestyle
Why : ask urself why unhealthy...etc.
Example : Playing video games, social networking etc.

Idea B: Eating Habits
Why : why again, explain! explain!
Example : Fast food for instance...

Paragraph 2: Of course measures could certainly be taken...
Idea A: Parents
Why : Responsible for the kids.
Example : Monitoring their eating habit / encourage regular exercise.

Idea B: School
Why : compulsory outdoor activities..
Example : Sports day, competition at school.

Conclusion: Parent & School should work together.
--------------
Feel free to give it a try. To me it is really helpful & I could write an full essay in very short time, maybe in 25 minutes more or less. GOOD LUCK!!

Hi Simon,I appeared on Ielts exam on 23rd March ,2013. The question was asking about technological progress, negative and positive effects. Agree or Disagree? I partly agreed and partly disagreed. But rather focusing on specific technologies and their positive and negative impacts. I grouped the technologies and put their impacts together. I was unable to be specific, I rather talked about how technology facilitates other things, failed to focus on their specific impacts. How the examiners will deal with this?

Hi Simon, I'm an IELTS teacher but not an examiner. I've enjoyed your Writing tips for several years and have taught them to students (giving you credit most of the time and giving IELTS-Simon homework assignments).
There is often some disbelief when I say that the intro should be simple as you suggest. And 1) one examiner said she would give your 'simple intro' essay 8.5 because the intro was so simple. 2) I've just started using Grammar for IELTS and find their model answers are very different from yours. Today I looked at Unit 24 p239. Five-sentence intro with no opinion in a probably Type 1 agree or disagree essay.
Will an examiner give higher scores if the intro is longer????? Thank you immensely.
Beth

Hi, well in my idea it can't be band 9 there is no very complex sentences and also lexical words and good collocation!

Ari,

I don't think you are the right person to judge the paragraph when you have made at least 2 mistakes in your comment ('in my idea' and 'there is no... sentences'). It would be better to trust what Simon says.

By searching google and I found this introduction. It's quite simple but kind of fantastic, right?

Undeniably, change is part of our life. In the view of some, behind change are potential chances and
possibilities in order to gain better things while others take their routine for granted and never dare to break it. In this essay, I shall examine both sides of this controversial issue

great

Dear Manish
your essay is great in vocabulary and viewpoint but it is not well-organised.

Change,a term that could either fear or brighten one's life.It is undeniable change have lead to both positive and negative impacts in our lives.I personally think changes bring more happiness in lives.

Hi Simon
How can i get memorize of Vocabulary ?

hi simon...my exam date is 18 of april and i did nt practice writing so far..do not know how to attempt and basic structure of different types of essay..plz help me in this regard as i intend to get band 8..

really is difficult
but you write one easy paragraph

Hi simon
I need your help to have 9 bands in writing skill kindly guide me.
regards

hi guys ...
I am first time here and after reading esseys and comments above i have some questions to all. I am taking IELTS on 18 th of july and still have some problems with my esseys. My question:
What is the best way of improving writing skills? What should i do read more books based on different subjects or practise more by writing on diverse topics ? I would be really thankful to any of your advices.
Best regards

Hi Simon
I am taking Ielts next month on 18 th of July and i still have some problems with my writing. I would be really thankful if you give me some advices in my further steps to achieve higher score on writing component. I have read above Walker's comment and he wrote there that with your best advices he was able to write an essay succesfully within 25 minutes or more. I want to do the same so plz when you have time can u explain me how to do it???? I will be waiting for your reply thanks a lot.,\\

At the turn of the century with the globlization there is tremandous transition in the way people live their life.some people like to stick with the routine,while other interested in newthings.personally i believe that changes might benifit to all individuals.

please comment on above introductio

Hi Simon
Yet I have not taken date for ILETS,, before this I am bit confused. When after watching topic or paragraph 49-45 sentences stuck in my mind always... When I starting writing, same time I am thinking about the effecting writing.... Some time it is not possible to effective writing ...
Another one is, I am having grammar problem.. Please refer any book if this is available in market of Indian markets.

I realy need your help to write a essay.

Hi Simon,
I read your complete essay on changes in routine life....I feel there are three spots in the text which have errors...
1. in the first sentence- it should be "'the' same things"
2.in the second paragraph - it should be " 'a' person learns... "
3. in the third paragraph- instead of gone by, in the tense of the line it should be 'time went by'.... please let me know if i m wrong...

Hi Rahul,

I think you are talking about one of the students' essays. I only wrote the paragraph in the lesson at the top of the page. Look at the name below the comment to see who wrote it.

Hello Simon,

Here is my essay for IELTs please evaluate the same.

We come to life, through our parents. They form the environment, we grow. We sense, watch and listen to them. Then, as human being we catch up and imbibe the things we observe in our lives. The best example is the first language a child starts speaking is the mother tongue.

Parents are the most proximate member of the child society. They are having not only having the physical but also the mental association as well. A parent teaches child the basic foundation of learning which includes walking, speaking and writing etc. This basic foundation the child carries throughout their lives.

But, this is not it. As the child grows, he comes across disparate environments and societies. He comes to class-room, where he learns the advanced form of skills. He interacts to teachers, colleagues and various other peoples of the society. Teacher at school teach him the subjects of further importance. A broader aspect of learning opens up when a child encounters such learning milieu. This is the place where he learns a lot more than what he had learnt at home. So, teachers at school and colleges also play an important role in the child's development

Parents lay the foundation of learning that the child carries throughout the life. But it is the school and college teacher who extends that foundation and bolster to build a full fledge building on top of the foundation. In all this regard, I partially agree with the title that Parents are the best teachers, school teachers also have a significant role in contributing to child overall development.

Regards,
Kush Shukla

hi,
I have a question about grammar ...
why did you put(s) in the word encounters
the sentence about that a person encounters, but u put (a), so it's single

thanks a lot, your website useful please pray for me to take 6.5

Hi all!

I have lately received my result for the ielts exam that I took on 21st Sep 2013 in Sydney, Australia. Here are the band scores I have achieved 9, 8.5, 7.5, and 6.5 in listening, reading, speaking, and writing respectively.
Can anyone have better ideas on how to elevate my writing to 7 bands.

Hi Simon,

I'm so curious on your writing that "It slipped in here without me noticing"

As what I've learn, it should be "....without my noticing"

Could you please explain a bit here ? Thank you

Hi Chappi,

Yes, well noticed. That's another informal thing that we English speakers do. In a formal context, "my" would sound better, but when English speakers are chatting, we use "me" all the time. Try Googling both phrases (remember to put the phrase inside speech marks) and you'll see examples of both.

PS. In my comments I'm a but more chatty, so you might find some informal language like that.

hie Simon,
can you please tell me one thing that is if i did spelling mistake in body paragraph, like- in the body paragraph i have to starts writing with the word psychological, but i did spelling mistake of the word psychological at the beginning. so how they will judge this? Is that affects heavily on my overall score??

Hello Simon! I want to thank for your ideas. I am going to appear ielts soon. May I get some tips from you to score band9?

Hello there,
I'm taking my ielts exam can you just help me with writing task 1 and task 2.
Mansi

HELLO THERE,
I'M TAKING TEST 21AUG SO, GIVE SOME ADVISE IN WRITING TASK 1&2

my exam will be on 16 august , i need 6.5 each please help me .

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