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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

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I wrote ielts exam 3 times ,always got different scores. I need 7 each.I am always stuck 6.5 in my writing and speaking.. I am very disappointed now.. In my speaking I loose marks in lexical resources because I saw score in real exam.and could u please suggest any solution to get 7 each because my visa going to expire and I need 7 to apply for my PR.

Hi, I have same problem with you. I took test few times but did not attain the mark that I desired. I think the better way is to follow strictly what Simon is instructing, for example, planing carefully before writing, or preparing as many speaking topics as possible. This can raise your mark for the next times. Keep your chin up.

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is true that salary is one of important factors to consider when young people initiate their career. However, in my opinion, choosing a job that they are indeed passionate about would rewards them the most in the long term.

Thank you Troy

I am going to take my exam on ___. I hope to gain more insights from here.

Now a day, increasingly young people graduate from University, most of them wonder that what tracks they should follow in the future.It is degree that young people should choose a job that they love rather than one that pays the best salary. Analyzing the advantages as well as disadvantages of this choosing will show this.

Within a year I took the exam 5 times and had 6.5 every time on my writing.Although I got 9 for reading and listening for various occasions, it's just frustrating that I can't move on with my plans since I can't get 7 across all bands.But I would like to say that this site by Simon is really helpful in many ways.Just reading different sentiments,insights and tips from people somehow makes it easier in a lot of ways.I'm planning to sit for the exam in the near future,hopefully I will bag it!Thank you!Goodluck to everyone!

Me too guys,I got 7 in some modules and 6.5 in others in diffrent sittings.I need to get 7 as you all.

I beleive that smart practice is the way to get your desired score.Simon's website is amazing,I improved by 1 band in Speaking and 1/2 point in both Writing and Reading in less than 2 months.Keep the good work up.

Cheers,
Soha

Can we not take ielts administration to the court😖
There should be someway. I am going to speak to local solicitor this week.

Hi jj:)
I'm Suman. I think you can check Simon ebook for task 2 if you dont have. I think its a great work from him. I also want to give exam in few months. I found difficulty in listening multiple choice question.
It's great u achieved band 9 in reading and listening.
I'm sure if you keep confident and try again u'll get your desired score.
For me reading is the hardest part, it'd be great if u could help me with reading.
Thank you so much.
Best of luck.

Hi jj,
I completely agree with suman that if you are struggling in writing especially in tast 2 it would be better if you go for simon's ebook. I,m so excited to hear that you got 9 in reading and listening. Thats an amazing score !!!
My hardest part is reading...how we approach reading test. would you please recommend for me.....
Thanks a lot.

The introduction:

It is undeniable that salary is the vital factor that affects job selecting of successful school leavers. In my opinion, however, adhering to desirable occupations will benefit them in the long run.

I just practice restating the introduction.

Nowadays postgraduate student are struggling about which line they will follow,some enjoy high- paid jobs others however, prefer to be employed in their interesting field.I agree with the idea that money should be the goal not the interest.
The main reason why high salaries should be the aim is that the job it self. Many jobs are now so demanding that it takes over your life,put you under a lot of stress and worry and sometimes you work unsociable hours and never get to see your family or your friends.of course there are many other negative factors such as adverse working condition.Fortunately, good salary would compensate these negatives and makes jobs worthwhile. A good example is a doctor who have made several studies and training before starting to work.
obviously, the expenditure in today's world is greater than the income , consequently there should be alternative sources in case you earn less money.To start with, the cost of living is very high renting an apartment for example is very expensine.Furthermore,the governments in many countries have imposed different type tax and insurance that employee have to pay regularly .finally, the residual money is for shopping which in turn cost alot due to high prices.
overall, you will be creative and productive if you are employed in your interesting field however,your debt would be great.therefor,for mentioned reason I believe that high salary should be the ultimate goal.


After leaving an educational institution, young people face a dilemma when deciding between a job or a career that pays the best wage and one that they love. In my opinion, a job or a career that you enjoy is a prudent choice.

My first reason is that if adolescents choose a job that they enjoy doing, they will enjoy life more. For instance, a survey done by Oxford University researchers concluded that the people who enjoy their jobs are happier and ten times less likely to be depressed than the people who do not like their jobs. From this example, it can be seen that when young people have a career that they like they are satisfied and content with life. Moreover, they will also avoid mental illnesses and this certainly will help them to keep enjoying life.

My second reason is that young people could be better off financially- in the long term-by choosing a job/career that they love. For example, if a person do not enjoy being a lawyer and is only there for the money, he/she will find himself/herself not motivated enough to do the job. This could lead to his/her bad performance as a lawyer. Because of this, he/she might lose the job and the income from it. However, people who love their profession are motivated and passionate to do well in their field of work. This leads them to achieve more for their company. This, in most cases, translates into their promotion and that means more financial reward for them.

To conclude, the young should pick up the job or career they love. This way they will be happier and eventually money will also follow.

Hi AJ,
your eassy is great in terms of ideas, structure and sequences and this probably rate band 8 and above ..
good luck for your exams

Hi Emam,
Thanks for your compliments. I wonder what Simon would reckon about the essay.

Hi AJ,

I just read your essay. You did really well!
It's not squirreling and hits directly to the points, hence people understand it easily. Moreover, your explanation and proofs are well-delivered.
I shall agree with Emam. Are you going to take IELTS? I'm taking IELTS this Saturday, yet i still find difficulties in writing. Good luck for us both.

hi aj
agreed with dee and emam...
wonderful essay..

To a certain extent I agree that graduates should prefer the career which pleases them greatly and delight in every aspect of it. However, I also believe that everyone should think profoundly when they make significant decisions for their life ahead in order to be wealthier, prominent, and in good health.
In general, some people argue that in order to be prolific in their career one should do his enjoyable job putting aside the low remunerated sum it offers. Some low paid workers also believe that their annual sum is more beneficial than the salary earned by hard work, because that might be wasted spending on the energy they lost during arduous work. Referring to the youths’ opinion they are also strongly opposite of being involved in the jobs which take much time for them in order to earn high amount of money, they tend to run their own business instead. In my opinion, these reasons could be explained the negative effects of new technologies have on the young people’s life style since they are considered to make people more indolent and slothful.
On the other hand, many people think that it is reasonable to find a well-paid job in order to meet increasing living standards. The reason why people prefer to have the highest paid occupations not regarded the harder work they demand is that they usually cannot access to further their career and educational development due to the great amount of money it requires. As a young lecturer, I would also prefer to have another well-paid career since the fact that teachers are undervalued in the organization I work. This factor caused the workers become fed up with the low remunerated package and leave the job.
In conclusion, individuals’ rights determine their choices in all aspects of life, including their decision made on the job career.

Emam, your essay is good, however, you might have considered "unsocial" instead of unsociable in the first body paragraph.
Keep going ahead!! Good luck

Hi Fira,
Many thanks for your advice.I did the the essay in 45 minute so its not that pretty , but to practice against the time I think is great idea.
good luck every body.

Some people believe that graduates should consider following a career that brings satisfaction rather than one that pays good money. Although it might be a way to attain personal success, I think that money is the most important aspect when choosing a profession and I will try to give some reasons for it.

When deciding what course of study to undertake, many young people choose one that they are interested in, one that challenges them or simply makes them happy. For example, as a young female I wanted to study a foreign language and become a qualified teacher. Reaching my goal seemed back then to be a dream- come- true. However, as the profession was not bringing the best income, I was very disappointed and even discouraged after a year in the workforce.

On the other hand, having a job that pays the best salary seems more practical. To illustrate, a graduate that has chosen a career simply for the salary will not necessary dislike his job. A good paying job can be a source of happiness too. Money allows us to live comfortably, travel, pursuit our dreams and perhaps not to worry about finances. From a personal experience I know that having money allows you to get and do things that you enjoy.
To sum up, it would be ideal to have a career that we love and pays a good salary; however, when choosing between personal satisfaction and a good pay, I believe that the latter one is more practical.

Hi Dee and Lexi,

Thanks for appreciating the essay.
Dee, I'm taking the IELTS test in Melbourne on 9 March. I would suggest you to plan your essay well before writing- this is the most important thing which I've learned from Simon. Have a look at different questions and instead of doing the whole essays, try to plan as many essays as possible. Anyway, best of luck for your test.

Hi all,

Here is my answer to this topic, could you please have your feedback on my essay. All comments are welcome


In recent years, there have been ambivalent attitudes towards the issue that whether young people should find a well-paid job or pursue their favorite career paths. In this essay, I will express my view on this controversy.

Undoubtedly, high-salary jobs are irresistible magnets for those young people who have an intense desire of raising their fortune. In order to get well-paid jobs, some people are prone to stay in immense cities after graduation in despite of having to struggle for their lives. In fact, they could accept any job that pays the best wage although they might not be fond of this occupation. There are several positive aspects involved in this choice of job, that is, young people could temporarily resolve their poor financial status, and become independent from parents. Moreover, having a well-paid job, they would be able to aid their parents, as well as kinsmen. As a result, they would stand a chance to shoulder responsibility towards their family.

Nevertheless, this manner of choosing jobs would probably have far-reaching impacts on the young’s life. Firstly, if people are reluctant to do their jobs, they could not perform well; and they could not make an adequate contribution to their organizations. Secondly, people are very likely to become frustrated and demotivated when they cannot fulfill themselves through working activities. The tragic consequence of this fact is that some people might become pessimistic and then commit suicide. Furthermore, those people, who leave their dreams aside to focus on earning money, usually do not tend to develop their competencies as well as foster their skills. Therefore, they would face so many difficulties to come back to their favorite professions, where they could have gone further and acquired more successes.

In conclusion, I would strongly advocate that young people should select a job or career path which they are most keen on. To achieve this, young people must endeavor to sharpen all necessary skills required for their picked jobs. Skilled employees are always given the red-carpet treatment as well as being sought for by all employers.

Dear friends,

I will post my answer.Please give me some advice.

It is questionable whether to choose oppcupations that people pursue after they complete their compusory education. I strongly agree that individuals should obtain whatever professions they like.

it is claimed that the payment is imperative. If there were not ample amount of budget, noone would purchase enough foods, and they would not be able to enjpy their lives. In addition, in recent years, money has become more and more significant.For example, if people have family, they have to pay a large amount of tuition fees for their children. In order to raise family, the high saraly is essential.

However, I believe that young people should devote themselve to find thier ideal occupations. As long as work does not facinate them, it is ardous to continue to produce good results. Moreover, it should be easy to terminate jobs. Nowadays, the competition among them is becoming more and more severe. Even if jobs did not appeal to young graduates from high school or university, most of them would find it difficult to continuously contribute to companies.

In conclusion, it is essential to make a living. Therefore, to gain high income is important. However, I firmly believe that young graduates should be keen to procure occupations that they pursue. They can work as passionately as possible and do not easily give up.


dear Apkapa,
regarding your introduction you did't address the tow side of debate, then completely chane the issue in your opinion (should obtain whatever they like= as far as I know this means freedom of choice not the interest ).
my tipin writing is :
1- identify the issues (understand )
2- being clear about what you need to do
3-PLANNING THE ANSWER (MOST IMPORTANT)
that all i can say
good luck for your exams

For many people, in particular, young adults deciding on the career path is of great concern. Some think that they should choose those jobs for which have a particular liking, instead of simply following well-paid jobs. I tend to agree with this point that youngsters should do what they desire to do.

Firstly, it is highly true that those who have a strong preference for their careers have more chances to climb up the career ladder as quickly as possible. Having looked at the biography of successful people, one can easily notice that there is a strong feeling toward what they have performed over working period. This can allow them to insist on their works till carve a niche for themselves. By comparison, those who have no or less preferred jobs find it very difficult to make such sacrifices in order to remove all obstacles happened at a time when working.

In addition to the above, young people who pursue their interests probably find more satisfactions in their lives. This may have great influence not only on the personal achievement but also on interactions with their families and colleagues, leading them to get along well with others. Young adult having such job satisfaction can bring happiness in the environment in which they live. Not surprisingly, such job satisfaction may bring a life satisfaction to those who their choosing based on their heart. This happiness might be ignored when you only look for earning huge money.

In conclusion, while following good earning jobs are very tempting to many young people , I think one should listen to his/her own heart when embarking on a new job.

Hi Simon, I want to ask u that if I stand in the middle(50/50 between agree and disagree) of the question, so what are the sentences that I can use to expression this opinion?

It is not wrong to say that money is very essential for survival.Having said that, most freshers pursue a career that they are passionate about and do not pay much attention towards salary scale. I totally agree with the idea of pursuing a career one is passionate about and giving a secondary position to the wage.

At a first place, choosing a job one is fond of is , acts as a driving force to achieve the desired result.As a consequence, the outcome is always the best and is appreciated by others .Besides, it is acknowledged by the employer in the form of rewards like promotion or salary increment .Though, this may take some time to happen, hard work never go waste .Hence, great wealth always follows success.Lets take an example of a person who loves Arts, ends up becoming a lawyer just to earn good money, and is not motivated enough to do well in the field.As a result, he could lose the job and the income too.Thus,where there is success money automatically flows in.

In addition, if one pursues a career just for the sake of making money, this can turn into a disaster.Although, one makes great money , job satisfaction can never be attained without love for the job. Furthermore, this can not only affect the professional life , personal life too cannot remain untouched.The resulting lack of contentment can lead to several mental illnesses. .As shown by the research data from the Department of Psychology, Oxford University, young people who love what they do in the professional field are more satisfied with their life, less depressed and are more successful in life, and hence, better off financially.

In conclusion, Its extremely important to work in a field one has developed interest in and not just for monetary gain.Success that lead to both wealth and happiness makes life worth living.

Question in ielts feb exam:
Nowadays young people are less polite and respectful to others. Who do you think can influence them more, family or society, to change their attitude? Give examples from your own experience.

please suggest ideas or main body paragraphs for this essay.

Hi Prince Panda ,

I tried to write a balanced essay (partly agree), hope you find it useful.
===================================

It turns to be very challenging for young people when deciding on which jobs is more suit; remunerative jobs or favorite jobs. In my opinion, it depends on thoughts and conditions one has.

The first reason to support that one should follow his/her interests is it helps people to develop their skills. In fact, people are very likely to display more talents in those fields which passionate about rather than simply focusing on monetary issues. This not only helps employees to secure better positions, but also assists firms to being profitable, as those employees probably come up with more ideas that in such world where fierce competence are very common would be of great help. The second reason may lay down into the fact that taking favourite jobs leads to life satisfaction that is taken for granted today.

However, it is not possible to everyone to step in what dreams for. Deprived people, for example, are likely forced to enter in jobs that not go for it. They in many cases are pushed to consider careers that help them to cover their expenses in order to support other family members, rather than only thinking of themselves. Moreover, for some being wealthy is a great aim to achieve. They would find their prosperities in jobs with a hefty income, allowing them to posses what they already have imagined about, such as luxurious houses, cars and high social status that might be thought come along such incomes.

In conclusion, I think there is no certain answer to which jobs young people should choose and it varies from person to person and in which circumstances they are.


Hi Salamat, I'm very happy that you help me. However, my question is about how to write a thesis statement for partly agree(discuss both sides) not for the whole essay. Anyway, I still find it helpful for me, thank you~ ^_^

Dear All,

Appreciate your comments on my essay:-

My plan:

Introduction: I disagree with the statement, so career is more important than money
Body Paragraph 1: positive effects of choosing a career you love on the company.
Body Paragraph 2: another benefit for the person
Body Paragraph 3: salary/income is important and will come along a thoughtful career
Conclusion: repeat the introduction in short.
____________________________________________

It is true that salary is considered an essential factor when choosing a job especially for fresh graduates( especially in the beginning of a career), in my opinion I think that doing a job which you have passion for is much more important and rewarding in the future than doing one which pays the best salary.

It is advisable that young people should have a definite career plan when choosing a college; this plan should be based on their skills, capabilities and interest. After graduation, I believe that choosing an interesting job can lead to several benefits, such as high work performance which creates a healthy competitive atmosphere and raise productivity in return. For example when you are doing something you really love, this stimulates more desire for learning and continuous development and accordingly reveals employee’s hidden talents and potential.

Another benefit of deciding on an
interesting job over one that pays a good salary is that it helps to fulfill one’s self actualization and to increase job satisfaction and will naturally lead to high productivity. It has always been noticed that people with high performance and continuous development becomes the stars of any organization and those are the most recognizable and well paid employees.

However,No one can deny the fact that the income is extremely important factor when choosing a job particularly for young people. Money is essential to make a living, to pay bills, and to pay training fees which is important for career development, but at any good corporation, I believe that high performance employees is being always appreciated with financial rewards, salary increase and more opportunities for promotions as a compensation for their outstanding performance.

In conclusion, I would recommend for young people choosing an interesting job over a well paid one because money will come along as they grow and develop.

Hi Suman and Tika,
Your kind words are appreciated.Thank yo.
I'll check Simon's ebook right away. Weel, regarding the reading I prefer to focus more on the questions thoroughly first, thereafter I skim and scan for obvious answers. If ever I'm caught in a situation that I really need to read the entire passage to find the answers, I mark or encircle details like dates,names, unfamiliar words etc.,and go back again to the Qs. And if a section is quite hard to get it done, I skip to work on the easier ones.It can save me from the feeling of frustration and TIME most of all.Goodluck!

HI IELTS_Soha,

You did well in your writing and fluency is obvious throughout the text. But I feel in your writing, in particualr, in the section two you had a little topic-off, as you all mentioned how important is "salary" not why young people not to have a well-paid job.

Hi Simon.

I have 2 question:

1. In this essay: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Can I write 1 paragraph to agree the statement and 1 paragraph to disagree the statement?

Or I could only write that way in this essay:

"Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising. However, some claim that it is the result of the real needs of the society in which they are sold. Discuss both view and give your own opinion."


2. May you check grammar in this sentence for me? Did I write "capitalizing" exactly?

In fact, advertisers frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products, CAPITALIZING on humans’ desire to have a relationship with such products.

I mean:
ADVERTISERS frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products AND ADVERTISERS CAPITALIZE on humans’ desire to have a relationship with such products.

Thanks a millions ^0^
I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.

HI Ali,
(I have tried writing this Essay to you ..)


It is certainly true that today's young generations are impolite and ill-mannered.There are several reasons for this problem,and various measures can be taken be families to combat this behavior and improve the situation .

I believe that families have greater and more efficient impact on modification of such behavior than society.As we can see this in extended families , where individual can rely on more than one person, bad attitude can be disappeared easily and good one can be can be acquired instate.Famalies can reform young impolite individual by taught them the traditional family values and how to behave well both inside and outside home.living among many members of family , younger generations will experience variety of good behavior such as when and how to listen or to speak to their grandparents ,so they will copy this experience and treat others the same.Families also can influence good behavior through regular incentives such as present and exra-money to the well-adjusted child , consequently, the less respective one will try to behave well.

Many argue that society has more influence on altering youngster bad manner,but I would say that the revers. bad behavior is increasingly on streets where people treat others impolitely smoke cigarette, abuse drug and spoke offensive languages, therefore, young's can do the same and this will change their attitude from bad to worse .

In conclusion,the blind can not lead the blind so,I believe that families have greater effect on altering young's bad manner.

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is an opinion based essay.

Usually high salary jobs are always alluring to most youngsters who seek to pursue a career after passing school/university. In my opinion one should always pursue one’s area of interest rather than chasing after job that pays high money.

As it seems, high paying job is an easy option to earn and own in less time for young people. More money can help young people to settle down fast in their lives and they would be able to afford their personal needs readily. So it becomes very natural for them to choose a high paying job. Although a high paying job can fulfill one’s needs initially yet the job will start looking like a burden after a while and money won’t matter much. So I disagree with the idea of young people of choosing a job that pays higher money than the one where their interest actually lies.

In my opinion, youngsters should pick a job in which they could follow their own area of interest. If they love their jobs, they would find their work always easy. The work will no longer seem like a burden rather it will feel like a fun game to them. Youngsters will face no pressure while at work. As being an interest to them, they will get expertise in their sphere of learning and will become more knowledable. As they say, “money has a habit of following knowledge”. So the money will follow eventually.

In conclusion, young people must follow a career that they love and they would be able to achieve success without any doubt and also they can hope to achieve financial stature as they go up the ladder in experience.

Regards

Vikram Aulakh
(284 words)

Hi Simon...could you please evaluate my essay on money- young people. I am to appear for IELTS on 9th March. It would be really helpful for my writing tips.

Regards

Vikram Aulakh

Usually high salary jobs are always alluring to most youngsters who seek to pursue a career after passing school/university. In my opinion one should always pursue one’s area of interest rather than chasing after job that pays high money.

As it seems, high paying job is an easy option to earn and own in less time for young people. More money can help young people to settle down fast in their lives and they would be able to afford their personal needs. So it becomes very natural for them to choose a high paying job that supports their personal needs. Although a high paying job can fulfill one’s needs initially, yet the job will start looking like a burden after a while and money won’t matter much. So I disagree with the idea of young people of choosing a job that pays higher money than the one where their interest actually lies.

In my opinion, youngsters should pick a job in which they could follow their own area of interest. If they love their jobs, they would find their work always easy. The work will no longer seem like a burden rather it will feel like a fun game to them. Youngsters will face no pressure while at work. As being an interest to them, they will get expertise in their sphere of learning and will become more knowledable. As they say, “money has a habit of following knowledge”. So the money will follow eventually.

In conclusion, young people must follow a career that they love and they would be able to achieve success without any doubt and also they can hope to achieve good money as they go up the ladder in experience.

Regards

Vikram Aulakh
(284 words)

Hi Simon,

Could u please answer below questions:

1. In this essay: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Can I write 1 paragraph to agree the statement and 1 paragraph to disagree the statement?

Or I could only write that way in this essay:

"Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising. However, some claim that it is the result of the real needs of the society in which they are sold. Discuss both view and give your own opinion."

Thank u very much

Good afternoon Vikram Aulakh

I liked the way you wrote your essay.It is organized, well sturctured and each paragraph has its own clear and illustrated idea.

But I would recommend you change the word Youngester,because it means" kid or child or teenager ) but in this essay we talk about " Young people, youth" I also did not understand what this sentence means "money has a habit of following knowledge"

Also i recommend not to start the introduction with usualy, you can say, it has been noticed , or , It is a fact that ... Just recommendation :)

Keep it up

Hi AJ.

Your essay is simply perfect to me. You illustrated each idea very simply and fleuntly.You applied each and evry rule of Simon's writing.

Keep it up and keep us updated with your result.Wish you a good luck in your 9th March exam.

If, just in case, you did not get your desired score,I invite you to practice with me.My exam will be on April 27th.


Have a good day,
Soha

Hi LA,

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my essay. I appreciate your feedback and time as well:)

In my essay i tried to convey a message with an idea of "however the salary is important factor in deciding to start a job, but if you peruse a career which you have passion for, this will lead automatically in the long term to high income"

May be i was not perfect in delivering my message. Anyway. I will keep you updated with my grading. I have an expert IELTS teacher to check my work.

I am glad i have another Colleague to check my writing :0)

Hi Ali,

That was my Writing Task 2 in my Feb IELTS exam in Egypt-Cairo.

I can help you with my ideas as i got 6.5.So i beleive my writing was ok.

Introduction:

I agree that family has the most influential role on young people behavior

1st main paragraph:

children spend most of their time with their nuclear and extended family so they are affecting their manners and behaviors the most especially in their early stages. + Family role of raising up healthy child and that children imitate parent’s behavior + parents instill good behaviors that last with their children forever

2nd main paragraph:

no one can deny the rule of the society such as peer pressure, school, neighbors, and work mates. Then I talked about the school effect with more details+ example how the school can be an important supportive system to the family to raise up children with good qualities.

Conclusion:

I repeated my idea on how important the family part and that it is vital to introduce good qualities to children from the early stages .If parents did a good job in the childhood stage nothing can negatively affect it in the future.

But still you can take the side of society and I think this will be easier in writing, cause you will have much more to say about how society can affect the behavior of young people.

I hope this can help you.

Regards,
Soha

Dear Eman,

Your ideas are in reality great; you did an excellent job. I just need to add some comments for more improvements if you please accept it 

Introduction:
I recommend (and various measures can be taken BY families to DEAL with this behavior)

First paragraph:
‘Bad attitude can be disappeared easily and good one can be can be acquired instate. Families can reform young impolite individual by taught them the”
I believe you meant” Instead not Instate”
I recommend: By teaching them, or by introducing a good behavior
Younger generations will experience variety of good behavior such as when and how to listen or to speak to their grandparents, so they

2nd Paragraph:
I recommend: Young people will be exposed to ………how to deal politely with others……
Families also can influence good behavior through regular incentive such as present and extra-money to the well-adjusted child, consequently, the less respective one will try to behave well.
I recommend: good behavior can be encouraged through regular ……
The less respective one will try to behave well.
I recommend: bad behavior will be adjusted

Third paragraph:
Many argue that society has more influence on altering youngster bad manner, but I would say that the reveres. Bad behavior is increasingly on streets where people treat others impolitely smoke cigarette, abuse drug and spoke offensive languages, therefore, young's can do the same and this will change their attitude from bad to worse .
I recommend:
Several people argue , or There are several arguments that ……
But I disagree is better than I would say the reverse, or you can say, on the contrary
You need to add a verb after increasingly ….or, bad behavior is increasing ….
You also need to talk about whether or not the society would affect the young people because you said two contradicting ideas. The first one that you agree that society has bad effect and that young people will copy these behaviors while in your introduction and main paragraphs you confirm something else. Am I right??

I noticed that the first paragraph is much longer than the second one. Try to keep balance, either by adding more details or another idea to the second one, or shorten the first one. Balancing your ideas and details is extremely important. I am not sure if you divided it into 2 main paragraphs as a second supporting idea or it is just a formatting issue

Keep the good work up.

Have a wonderful day,
Soha

Hi robrerto

Your essay is very good, well organized and you supported your ides very well with a personal example. you convienced me with the opposite idea which i wrote about:)

Keep it up,
Soha

Hi Eman,

your essay about Money Topic is really good one.Keep going on the same track.

Regards,
Soha

Hai Soha,

Can u pl help on my doubts too .

. In this essay: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Can I write 1 paragraph to agree the statement and 1 paragraph to disagree the statement?

Or I could only write that way in this essay:

"Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising. However, some claim that it is the result of the real needs of the society in which they are sold. Discuss both view and give your own opinion."

Thank u very much

Dear Soha,

(Alsalamo alykom) and very good morning to you.

Many thanks for your really detailed, helpful and valued feedback that surely will help any candidate in this forum.I have to say, together there is no mountain we can't climb and this is why we all try to write , read and comment.personally, I think that SOHA is the best commenter in this forum simply because your explanations are clear and to the point .Also you have many feedback to riborto, Ali ...
that is great idea if we all share our experience .
good luck for you exams
EMAM
Bristol(West of England )

Good morning Shafva.
Please review Simon's writing lesson because it contains valuable advice on how and what to write. But from my experience with these lessons I can summarize the following:
In the first question" To what extent do you agree or disagree" you should provide your own opinion, not others. So you can fully agree or disagree OR partially agree or disagree. Which Simon calls a balanced opinion? I advise you to take the side of the argument based on your ideas and vocabulary. I mean it is not necessary to tell your REAL opinion about the topic.
In the second question. You must discuss both views. There no other choice in this question and then you MUST give your OWN opinion.
The difference between the first and the second is “in the first question you have the liberty to choose one side of the argument and discuss it in details and provide supporting ideas, while in the second question, you must discuss both views”
I hope this can help
Soha

Hi everyone,

Please explain my question above.
May you check grammar in this sentence for me? Did I write "capitalizing" exactly?

In fact, advertisers frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products, CAPITALIZING on humans’ desire to have a relationship with such products.

I mean:
ADVERTISERS frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products AND ADVERTISERS CAPITALIZE on humans’ desire to have a relationship with such products.

Huhu I'm dying for your answer T.T

hi Soha

Thanks a lot for your feedback...I really appreciate it and I will try to follow your advice.

Thanks

Vikram...

Thank you very much for a prompt reply Soha.

God Bless u

Hi Sue:

Hi Sue,

Omitting clauses has its own rule.

The original sentence would be:

ADVERTISERS frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products AND ADVERTISERS CAPITALIZE on humans’ desire to have a relationship with such products

Advertisers is a subject you can replace it by " They" ..

ADVERTISERS frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products and THEY capitalize on humans’ desire to have a relationship with such products

But if your original sentence would be like this:
Advertisers frequently use glamorous and celebrated people to promote products, it affects people's shopping habits

Advertisers frequently use glamorous celebrated people to promote products, affecting people's shopping habits.

Clause reduction :
To be + that/which/who
Clause + voice verb==> gerund verbs

Dear Emam,
Thank you for your reply and try to give some hints which i wanted.I really appreciate ur work.

Dear Soha,
I want to thank you for your guide. I m very happy that u write an essay for guiding me and many others as well.

Regards,
ALI

Dear Ali,

You are most welcome.

Regards,
Soha

Thank you Emam for your nice comlement.
We are trying to help each other and i really wish that my comments benifit each one here.
I am sorry to mis-type your name ,I thought your name is Eman Lool.


Any one can help me on how to subscribe to the comment feedbaco on this website?.I do not know what is wrong with this feature.I jsut has to check each section in which i wrote comment in to know what others said or wrote about the topic. So i need someone to giude me on how to do this.

Thanks alot,
SOha

HI Soha,

that is OK, actually its my family name and even here people do mis -pronounce it as Eman which is a female name

I don't think that this forum support comment feedback.

Good by

Hi Emam.

The site has this feature in the top of each lesson. If you post a comment or an essay, Do you have to go again to the same page to see who replied to you OR you get a notification on your e-mail that someone commented on your post ??

Hi Salamat

I still cannot understand your examples clearly.

What is difference between "ADVERTISERS CAPITALIZE on humans’ desire" & "it affects people's shopping habits"? Why cannot I write "CAPITALIZING on humans’ desire"

May you explain this point for me again?

Thank you very much for your consideration^^

Hi LA.

I got 7.5 as a feedback about my 'Money essay" after checking it from my IELTS teacher.

Just to let you know.

Thanks alot for your care.

Regards,
soha

Hi all,
It's great that many people share ideas and correct essays as well. I wonder if I can post my essay here and receive some comments.
It is true that everybody wants to have a good job. Many people think that working for love is better than working for money. In my opinion, I believe that employees should be concerned both criteria seriously.
To begin with, the interest in work plays a vital role in the success of an employee. If someone does what he or she likes, the task will be carried out very well. Take Thomas Edison as an example; with a passion for science, he invented many things that changed our way of life such as thr recorder and light bulb. His inventions would not have come about if he did not like his work, although someone had given him a huge salary. This example illustrates that the interest in work is a main factor in the success of people.
On the other hand, high salary is crucial to ensure the efficiency of work. High wages will make employees’life and their family more comfortable which means they can concentrate on their work. As a result their task will be done better. For instance, Vietnam has more doctors and professors than Malaysia, however, number of inventions and researches announced by Vietnamese scientists is significantly lower than that done by Malaysian ones. The main reason is that Vietnam government does not pay enough to Vienamese scientists, and they have to find other work to earn more money. It is clear that work with a high income is very necessary to encourage workers.
In conclusion, interest and money play equivalent roles for every employee. Job hunters should find the work which they love with a reasonable income so that they will succeed in the future.


Thank you very much!

Hi Thanh,

You did well but you need to develop more ideas and details.

I re-worked the essay but the comments that i made in Word Document could not be copied here.I hope it helps:)
________________________________________

Please find below my comments:


It is true that everybody wants to have a good job. Many people think that working for love is better than working for money. In my opinion, I believe that employees should be concerned both criteria seriously.

"Working for pleasure is better than working for love"

"I believe that a person or people is better than employee. Because we are talking about people n general, they are not necessarily to be employed to take a decision based on monetary factors or emotional factors."

To begin with, the interest in work plays a vital role in the success of an employee. If someone does what he or she likes, the task will be carried out very well. Take Thomas Edison as an example; with a passion for science, he invented many things that changed our way of life such as the recorder and light bulb. His inventions would not have come about if he did not like his work job, although someone had given him a huge salary. This example illustrates that the interest in work is a main factor in the success of people.

"I deleted TAKE, you can start the sentence by Tomas Edison is an example of ……..
Passion for work OR doing something you like"

"Last sentences is a redundancy, no add value of adding the same sentences."

I recommend that you need to develop your idea in the first main paragraph and add more details OR to add another main idea in the same paragraph."

On the other hand, high salary is crucial to ensure the efficiency of work. High wages will make employees ‘life and their family more comfortable which means they can concentrate on their work. As a result their task will be done better. For instance, Vietnam has more doctors and professors than Malaysia; however, number of inventions and researches announced by Vietnamese scientists is significantly lower than that done by Malaysian ones. The main reason is that Vietnam government does not pay enough to Vienamese scientists, and they have to find other work to earn more money. It is clear that work with a high income is very necessary to encourage workers.

"Salary not wage, because WAGES are used for blue collar jobs."

"So they can focus on doing a better job"

"The number of inventions"

"As a result is a short and separate sentence, I think it is better to replace it with long sentences but with more details or to delete it."

"I had to read your last sentences that starts with Vietnam example, I understood your idea but it needs to be reformed, you want to say that however Vitnam has a huge number of doctors and professors but they are underpaid so that quality of their work is not competent".

In conclusion, interest and money play equivalent roles for every employee. Job hunters should find the work which they love with a reasonable income so that they will succeed in the future.

Hi Thank,

just read through your essay. i would like to suggest some of the word phrases or vocabularies.

In Introduction: should be concerned = employees should consider

Paragraph 1. the task will be carried out very well= the task will be carried out with ease.
Take Thomas Edison as an example = Take, Thomas Edison, for example,

although someone had given him a huge salary= even if someone had given him a huge salary
Paragraph 2. and they have to find other work to earn more money= and they have to find works in other fields to earn more money ...
high income is very necessary to encourage workers. = high income is essential to encourage workers.
Conclusion.
Job hunters = job seekers

I hope these changes would help a bit.

NB. "Salary not wage, because WAGES are used for blue collar jobs." = the definition is not quite right.

A wage is when you get paid for how many hours you work, while, with a salary, you get a set amount of payment.

Dear Soha and Christy
It is great that my writing get the correction from both you. I was extremly happy when I saw your comments.
Through your correction, I know about the difference between salary and wage. At that time, I tried to use a synonym of salary.
I have many difficulties with word choices and idea. My vocabulary and ideas are very poor.
I hope that I will receive more comments for my later essays from both you as same as this one. Thank you very much!

Hi everyone, i would be appreciated for any comments of my essay. Thank you very much


Deciding to work for interest or money has always been a matter of concern. While some people favour the view of obtaining the job with high paid, others, myself included , believe differently.
Following the career of interest is very essential for students. Firstly, people are likely to become successful if they can work in their favourite profession. In facts, this has been a popular advice from many successful people. They believe that working in the area of interest would give people a strong motivation and determination to overcome many difficulties, which are main factors to success. Secondly, it would be more enjoyable to work for the desirable job. People would feel more motivated to work hard as well as strike to develop and sharpen their skills, leading to more a meaningful life. Reports have shown that people who work for their favourite profession are likely to feel happier compared to people who choose to work for other reasons.
Nevertheless, some people insist that choosing the well-paid job is a better option. Their belief is that the monetary factor plays an important role in defining the success of a person. People with high paid jobs are generally well-respected and regarded as success. However, unlike the choice of following the profession of interest, having a high paid job does not guarantee a high job satisfaction. Furthermore, over the time, people who choose to follow their career of interest would make a high earning since companies would try to retain them with a higher salary and attractive incentives. Not surprisingly, many people who are in high positions choose to leave and follow their heart to work in the profession of their interest.

In conclusion, it is clear that some benefits of choosing the profession of interest may not be available in the option for money. Thus, students are advised to follow their heart when deciding to work.

Dear Nice,

Here are my suggestions to the first half of your essay. The second haft is quite confusing to me, because i can't see a clear structure, and therefore I am not able to give you any ideas to improve.

favourite profession = chosen profession

determination to overcome many difficulties, which are main factors to success = which are hurdles to success.
work for favourite profession = work in a chosen career path
are likely to feel happier = feel more satisfied compared to working for other reasons.

Dear Nick,

sorry for spelling your name wrongly.

Christy

Thank you so much Christy,

i change a little bit of the second paragraph to make it easier to follow. Please give me your opinion.

Nevertheless, some people insist on choosing the well-paid job. Their belief is that the monetary factor plays an important role when choosing their career since people with high paid jobs are generally well-respected and regarded as success. However, unlike the choice of following the profession of interest, having a high paid job does not guarantee a high job satisfaction. Furthermore, over the time, people who choose to follow their career of interest would make a high earning since companies would try to retain them with a higher salary and attractive incentives. Not surprisingly, many people who are in high positions choose to leave and follow their heart to work in the profession of their interest.

Thank you so much Christy,

I change a little bit of the second paragraph to make it easier to follow. Please give me your opinion.

Nevertheless, some people insist on choosing the well-paid job. Their belief is that the monetary factor plays an important role when choosing their career since people with high paid jobs are generally well-respected and regarded as success. However, unlike the choice of following the profession of interest, having a high paid job does not guarantee a high job satisfaction. Furthermore, over the time, people who choose to follow their career of interest would make a high earning since companies would try to retain them with a higher salary and attractive incentives. Not surprisingly, many people who are in high positions choose to leave and follow their heart to work in the profession of their interest.

Dear Nick,

To me, it is seemingly that there are two ideas in one paragraph. First you mentioned about why people prefer jobs with high salary. And then you used the linking word Furthermore .... After this word, you talked about people who choose to work in a field that they have interests in and gain knowledge and skills which are appreciated by their employers and therefore pay them more. If you don't want to separate it in two paragraph, then I believe that you have to change the linking word Furthermore to On the other hand/In contrast ... just to show something opposite...

For example:
Furthermore, over the time, people who choose to follow their career of interest would make a high earning since companies would try to retain them with a higher salary and attractive incentives. =

This can be compared to those who have chosen to follow a career of interest. With time, they gain experience, skills and knowledge and therefore are expertise in their area. As a result, high salaries and attractive incentives are rewarded (by their companies/employers). Hence, it is not hard to see why people, who are now in high positions, have opted to pursue a profession of interest.

NB. Nick! I got only 7 for my writing. So my writing is not good enough to give you good suggestions. But if I wrote that paragraph, I probably would have written it in that way. (my other scores are: listening is 9 and reading is 8.5. my speaking is swaying between 6.5 and 7.5 I need band score 8 in each sub-unit).

Dear Christy,

I can see your point now. I do understand your confusion but if you have a look at the sentence before that " However, unlike the choice of following the profession of interest, having a high paid job does not guarantee a high job satisfaction". This sentence is to contrast the opposite view . The linking word " Furthermore" after that is the second idea of supporting the contrast idea.

The way i set up my essay is:

Paragraph 1: Support the profession of interest.
Paragraph 2: state the opposite view and contrast it with supporting the profession of interest.

By the way, you already achieved 7, that is good enough for me since i only am aiming at 7 in every skill. I am also struggling with speaking too. My speaking score always stay at 6.5 and i get a 7 in the most recent exam but unsure what will happen in the next test.

Thank you again for your feedback. I hope you can give me further feedback of my essay in the future.

Nick

Some graduates tend to pay more attention on the salary, whereas others put much importance on job satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment. Personally, i support interest should be the goal not money.

It is known that a good salary directly links with high pressure, resulted from big responsibility. Sometimes these stress may stroke our nerves so much to allow us get happy. Subsequently,hardly will we get the expected success thanks to the mental burden. Take my brother as an example, he loved playing computer games,and he determined to be a software engineer. Through his efforts ,being made from the passion for this job, he finally got some achievements, including a decent pay of course.However, the story may come to a different end ,if he was persuaded by his mother into being a clerk in investment bank , which is supposed to earn big money, it is likely that he may not get these success. This makes it clear why graduates need to indulge more time in the jobs bringing satisfaction.

What money can give a graduate may be financially equaled with several clothes or shoes, whereas a sense of fulfillment, brought from the job we enjoy, is invaluable. Still take my brother as an example, he is a interest oriented person. Confronted with barriers ,he may consider these obstacles as opportunities to enhance his computer skill rather than a risk of being sacked or saying goodbye to the high salary. Consequently he overcame difficulties one by one and got trust from his boss. What count most is his harvest of a sense of fulfillment, he thought the efforts are rewarding. Thus, it can be clearly seen from my example that interest plays an important role .

Overall, after looking at how important interest is in a person’s working life, it has now been proven that young graduates should spend more time on exploring what their interest are.

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Model answer:
Can we accept development at the cost degrading serene environment of town? Very often people suggest that establishment of a new factory leads to economic prosperity of the surrounding. However, there is no denial of its negative outcomes to environment. Personally, I strongly believe that it could be far more constructive provided that we excercise great caution .
Establishment of factory plays a pivotal part with the stream of diverse benefits. The main benefit that it can offer is job opportunities. It is like a foreign soil which has been so fascinating for the Nepali Diasporas. The need of workers both skilled and menial can be resolved by accommodating of the unemployed. As a result, the town would economically prosper. Looking from advertisement perspective, it would unquestionably make the place known to all at least to its countrymen. Hence, it is going to be the backbone of growth. Nonetheless, it is not devoid of disadvantages either.

On the other hand, the harmful impacts are the stark reality. What is very significant adverse effect is factory will contaminate the quality of the air and water in town by emission of smog. It contains poisonous carbon mono oxide. Consequently, people are likely to prone to some respiratory illnesses which later develop into incurable chronic illness. Also, bangs and unmanaged garbage may lead to sound and water pollution respectively. On the whole, it spoils the beauty of surrounding. To make matters worse, it sometimes does devalue human skills. To put it another way, relying on machines takes away the opportunities for menial workers. Thus, due to these dangers, people often emphatically deny it. It is also true that a systematic approach would be remedy for it.


Weighing these into consideration, I firmly endorse the idea of initiating a factory in the town. Its worths outweigh other by fair margin. It is a univerasal fact that it results in improved public transportation. Also, local infrastructure sees a drastic change with reliable supply of water and electricity. It is all thanks to setting of new factory. Economic growth due to revenue from it will boost real estate development in our community. Despite a strong criticism, it is time to think ahead and accept the new. Also, can’t we minimize the ill-effects? Environmental pollution through human effort can be lessened, left alone devaluing human skills. Thus, I uphold it whole-heartedly. So do the most people.

In a nutshell, whatsoever the harmful outcomes are the advantages would certainly be beneficial. However, we must make an effort to pacify the inevitable negative outcome. As a matter of fact, development at the cost of a liitle change should be acceptable.

Hi Sue,

I lost () in that sentence,to more explanations, contact me by email:
essayskills@gmail.com

Choosing a career is a difficult task in one's life. Some people belive that sticking with the interested field is better than a high paid job. I partly agree to the opinion that it is good to choose a job which one loves to do

Firstly, selecting a filed which is of one's interest is good for the mental well being of that person. For example, if a person find joy in painting rather than teaching and he choose teaching instead he will be mentally stressed. Like wise, if the career is of interest the job will be easy and tension free. It can be seen that people who love their work is more satisfied than the people who start a career in terms of high salary which can be seen from the study conducted by scientist in Europe. More over, if a person is more active in the interested field his performance will be appreciated by the employer.

On the other side, people who select the well paid job have more financial security and less burden in this expensive world. How ever, the high salary job will be stressful and less enjoyable. For instance, being an engineer it is his responsibility to finish the job in time so he have to work 24/7 in order to full fill his goal. In addition, if a person find the job less attractive his interest towards that job will be less and he may loose the job due to being less productive.

In conclusion, considering the both sides i tend to agree that a job which one love to do is more rewarding than a high paid job

hi simon..i would like know that if one our essay is off topic..then how much mark we will lose..plz let me know

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