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Wednesday, January 09, 2013

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Hi Simon or anyone

I still didnt get this topic exactly what it wants to ask.

plz explain in depth

hai simon,
can i expect full essay from you for this question?
thanks in advance

what does life expectancy means??

Hello Simon,

I had a few IELTS recently. My writing ranged significant between 6.5 and 8, which I believe is due to the limitation of lexical resources and ideas in some particular topics.

So I bought your e-book and started to practice. But, based on your experience, does it cover "most" of topics would-be in the test, or should i find additional resources to "memorize" more.

(it raised my concern when this topic of ageing population doesn't seem to be in the book)

Dear Simon,
My Exam is in next saturday in Cambridge,i am wondering about the fact that,in task 2,if i would like to put an example about suppose climate changes which i read in a journal,,should i have to give the reference on that,or i can just mention that information? I am not sure whether is would be plagiarism or not?
please give your kind valuable advice regarding the matter.
thanks.

How should I make use of your writing task?To remember the ideas? Or to write an essay with the ideas you gave us? Or maybe just inspire us?

This is my writing:
I will join in the test on this Saturday 12th January so I really need some useful advices form you. Thank you!

The gradual increase of old population in developed countries is really alarming. This will lead to a variety of negative impacts on their people and society that measures need to be introduced immediately to tackle this problem.

In our modern society, many developed countries are dealing with burdens from their ageing populations. More people age, more working population decreases. It is clearly to see that the proportion between young adults and retired people is declining considerably. Therefore, governments must spend more budgets for pension whereas young adults must spend much more time and money in order to look after their old relatives. Furthermore, the demand for medical services of this population increases which may affect to the budgets for other age groups.

Many solutions should be taken to solve these problems. In developed countries, governments, with the help of excellent medical systems, can rise the retired ages so they still both have their contribution with many precious experiences and take the big burden on the pension budget away. Besides, young adults should be encouraged to give more births to create a younger population. The governments should loosen the immigration policies to attract many more young adults population. These measures are hoped to provide a younger population for the society to keep balance with the ageing population.

In conclusion, the augmentation of average life expectancy in developed countries is creating some problems. The governments should have immediate and appropriate measures to increase the younger population in order to keep balance for the society.

(252 words)

It is certainly true that the increase in life expectancy in the rich, modern, industrialized countries could cause several problems for individuals and society. There are various measures can be taken by governments to improve the situation.
One of the main problems associated with the increase in the population of senior citizens is that governments need to allocate much more money as a pension for this age group to survive. This imposes a greater tax burden on working populations because of the reduction of working people and larger amount of money needs. Furthermore, if countries have a higher elderly proportion , the demand of healthcare will rise as older people are more prone to disease and illnesses by nature. Another problem is that young adults will have to sacrifice their time to look after their elderly relatives.
However, it is not impossible to tackle these problems . Firstly, governments need to enforce the later retirement policy and raise the state pension age. For example, retirement age raised to about 67 years old in France. At the same time , government should encourage people to have more children and immigration in order to boost the number of young adults in the future. With regards to the demand for healthcare service, governments of developed countries could play their part by supporting new medical research and health programmes which might allow the elderly to stay healthy and work longer.
In conclusion, governments should tackle higher aging population by having more adults workers and reduce unhealthy conditions. If these measures are taken, I believe that the increase of retired people will have less impact in most developed countries.

hello simon
I read all your ideas but according to me they r not clear , can you explain in more pls
regards

hello Simon
can we practice using the tests in the official British council website?
Are they similar to Cambridge book`s tests?
thanks

Hi Son,

If you don't mind I put here some comments on your essay.

The introduction is good and covers the whole question in brief, just make the society plural.

In the paragraph one, you didn't make your opinion clear. I guess you it would be better you put two ideas then develop them. In terms of grammar I should say you made a lot of mistakes which mostly you have problems with prepositions.
EX:In our modern society, many developed countries are dealing with BURDEN FROM their ageing populations:
burdens from???
One possible rewrite is:
In many developed countries, older people can impose/place a burden on their governments.

More people age, more working population decreases ????
when you use the structure be sure that you already know it well.And also consider whether this structure fits into what you are saying. You are going to say this ( a smaller proportion of young adults = smaller working populations) Then possible rewrite is:
The longer people live, the smaller proportion of young adults work in workforce.
Then develop it in detail.

Furthermore, the demand for medical services of this population increases which may affect to the budgets for other age groups. ?
AFFECT does not follow with preposition" to"
Dont try to make sophisticated sentences while you are not sure about them. To avoid make more mistakes use those structures that already are confident enough with them.

I write down merely those sentences that have problems in terms of grammar and word choices:
"can rise the retired ages so they still both have their contribution with many precious experiences and take the big burden on the pension budget away "
rise==>raise
take the burden away?? Lift the burden from its shoulder.
should loosen==> facilitate the immigration policy
population "for"==> of
keep balance "for"=> in

To conclude, you should consider more about your word choices, prepositions and thoughts.If you have problems with mixing sentences to create sophisticated language, use more simple language. Remember that the less you make mistake, the more likely you get high score. If I had time, I would rewrite your essay.
Many thanks

Hello Simon and all,
I bought your e-book a day before and this is really helpful for me. I want to take ilets exam next month and my requirement is 7 bands in each module, but my problem is only writing module as I am really weak in grammar,ideas----- and always achieve only 6 bands. So please help me everyone to improve my writing skills.......

Hi Simon,

I've just tried to put all your ideas in my essay, as a practice.

There is an increase in lifespan in many modern countries. This may pose some problems in a society. However, to address them some practice should be taken as will now be explained in this essay.


The main problems that the extended lifespan would be caused is increasing the tax burden on a society. It is more likely that governments should put aside more expenditures to pay retired people’s pensions as they are very likely to live longer than people living in other countries. In this case, governments should levy greater taxes on working people to compensate those expenses, inclusing health care which older people receive. In addition,young people should spend more time on looking after ageing population.


However, there are some solutions may be put forward in order to mitigate this situation. Firstly, the authorities can raise the age of retirement, as today many countries have done, the UK for example. Some might argue that as people become older,they display less effectiveness, as they are prone to more diseases, but I think today thanks to medical advances, people can stay healthy and work longer even at ages above 60. Secondly, since today we see a drop in the birth rate, people should be encouraged to give more birth to already ensure there will be the young people enough to replace the older population in the future. Finally, immigration would be the last resort if all other solutions didn’t meet the needs of a society or governments require to revive their markets with younger workers.


In conclusion, although the increased life expectancy in developed countries leads to some problems, there are still ways to tackle them and steer the economy.


Hi, Simon

This is my first comment here.

Is this okay whether I write 1st problem and solution in the 2nd paragraph, and 2nd problem and solution in the 3rd paragraph?

Thank you!

Dear Teacher Simon,
Is it impossible to take myself of my relatives for example in body paragraph of an essay ?
Thanks a lot for your help !

here is the introduction I wrote:

With the increasing of lifespan of people in industrial countries, some social problems caused by ageing population have arisen. Both these problems and the possible solutions will be discussed in this essay.

Hi Salamat
I think your essay is very clear and easy to follow. thanks for sharing it.

Thank you Salamat for all.
Your essay is easy to follow!

Oh,i like this site and peoples' comments there, thank you Salamat for ur essay, and also Son, at least we learn from one another.

hello salamat
u really write a good essay .
It include all suggestions. thanks

Hi Simon, I try myself to write a essay, please help me to collect! Thank you!

Ageing population means the number of younger is decreasing, instead of growing of elders. Usually, it described that the rates of over 60 years old people reached 10% or higher in the whole population or 65 years old population took 7% in the whole ones as the standard of ageing population. According to United Nations published “The outlook of world population in 2008”, in the next 40 years, the scale and rate of global ageing population is rapidly increasing. The number of over 60 years increased from 760 million to 2 billion, reached 22% from 11% in the whole population.The rate of over 60 years population takes 21.7% in the developed countries and will most likely increase to 32.5% in 40 years.

Developed countries take the lead to entering ageing soceity, although high standard of economy development level provides advantage conditions for solving this problem, it is still the main economic and social problems in the developed countries. The most obvious situation is an increase in the number of retired people will receive a pension, the government will take more burden. In some west European countries, because of implementing high income tax and high social welfare policy, the cost for social security reaches to nearly one third of national income. For US, the expenses of pension exceeded the national defense fees and became the main financial expenditure projects in past some years. In addition, ageing population will also rise the demand for healthcare. Elders need richful mental life. The elders’ suicide rates reach highly in many developed countries, kinds of mental diseases make trouble of elderly groups. The main reason is the loose family connection in these countries, especially for self living elders who lose companion and feel longly and helpless that need more young adults to look after them. What’s more, ageing population changes the age sturcture of the labour supply. Ageing population decreases the labour supply that leads the comparative balance of rate between labour supply and working-age population. Accompany is the decreasing of new borned population that reduces the new created labour increasing speed.

Generally speaking, the policy meatures to solve the ageing population problems for developed countries are mainly four categories: delaying the retirement ages, compression pension fund expenses, increasing income of pension funds and accumulation the pension funds. In Germany, the retire age raised from 65 years old to 67 years in 2002. Then in 2004, Germany government modified the public pension policy. The new policy according to the change of etirement populations paying rate automatically adjust public pension treatment. When the rate of ageing population is raising, the pension treatments will automatically decrease. In 1970s, Great Britain government reduced the public pension expenses and encouraged developing supplication pension plan which included providing tax incentives. In addition, some countries also adopt other ways to face the ageing population problems, such as encouraging families to have more children and immigration in order to increase the number of younger adults.

To sum up, developed countries is facing ageing population caused severe social problems. For instance, employment, higher pension expenses, social welfare and health care and so on. However, this situation for ageing population is the direct achievement of medical, education improvement and economy development as well. It also the improvement results of public health affairs, such as drinking health, solving malnutrition, infectious, parastic deseases and reducing maternal and child mortality results. If using the collect ways to treat and solve it, the whole societies will reach harmony.

Hi This is my essay, please anyone to help me to collect it. I want your suggestions!
Thank you!

According to United Nations published “The outlook of world population in 2008”, in the next 40 years, the scale and rate of global ageing population is rapidly increasing. The number of over 60 years increased from 760 million to 2 billion, reached 22% from 11% in the whole population.The rate of over 60 years population takes 21.7% in the developed countries and will most likely increase to 32.5% in 40 years.

Developed countries take the lead to entering ageing soceity, although high standard of economy development level provides advantage conditions for solving this problem, it is still the main economic and social problems in the developed countries. The most obvious situation is an increase in the number of retired people will receive a pension, the government will take more burden. In some west european countries, because of implementing high income tax and high social welfare policy, the cost for social security reaches to nearly one third of national income. For US, the expenses of pension exceeded the national defense fees and became the main financial expenditure projects in past some years. In addition, ageing population will also rise the demand for healthcare. Elders need richful mental life. The elders’ suicide rates reach highly in many developed countries, kinds of mental diseases make trouble of elderly groups. The main reason is the loose family connection in these countries, especially for self living elders who lose companion and feel longly and helpless that need more young adults to look after them. What’s more, ageing population changes the age sturcture of the labour supply. Ageing population decreases the labour supply that leads the comparative balance of rate between labour supply and working-age population. Accompany is the decreasing of new borned population that reduces the new created labour increasing speed.

Generally speaking, the policy meatures to solve the ageing population problems for developed countries are mainly four categories: delaying the retirement ages, compression pension fund expenses, increasing income of pension funds and accumulation the pension funds. In Germany, the retire age raised from 65 years old to 67 years in 2002. Then in 2004, Germany government modified the public pension policy. The new policy according to the change of etirement populations paying rate automatically adjust public pension treatment. When the rate of ageing population is raising, the pension treatments will automatically decrease. In 1970s, Great Britain government reduced the public pension expenses and encouraged developing supplication pension plan which included providing tax incentives. In addition, some countries also adopt other ways to face the ageing population problems, such as encouraging families to have more children and immigration in order to increase the number of younger adults.

To sum up, developed countries is facing ageing population caused severe social problems. For instance, employment, higher pension expenses, social welfare and health care and so on. However, this situation for ageing population is the direct achievement of medical, education improvement and economy development as well. It also the improvement results of public health affairs, such as drinking health, solving malnutrition, infectious, parastic deseases and reducing maternal and child mortality results. If using the collect ways to treat and solve it, the whole societies will reach harmony.

According to United Nations published “The outlook of world population in 2008”, in the next 40 years, the scale and rate of global ageing population is rapidly increasing. The number of over 60 years increased from 760 million to 2 billion, reached 22% from 11% in the whole population.The rate of over 60 years population takes 21.7% in the developed countries and will most likely increase to 32.5% in 40 years.

Developed countries take the lead to entering ageing soceity, although high standard of economy development level provides advantage conditions for solving this problem, it is still the main economic and social problems in the developed countries. The most obvious situation is an increase in the number of retired people will receive a pension, the government will take more burden. In some west european countries, because of implementing high income tax and high social welfare policy, the cost for social security reaches to nearly one third of national income. For US, the expenses of pension exceeded the national defense fees and became the main financial expenditure projects in past some years. In addition, ageing population will also rise the demand for healthcare. Elders need richful mental life. The elders’ suicide rates reach highly in many developed countries, kinds of mental diseases make trouble of elderly groups. The main reason is the loose family connection in these countries, especially for self living elders who lose companion and feel longly and helpless that need more young adults to look after them. What’s more, ageing population changes the age sturcture of the labour supply. Ageing population decreases the labour supply that leads the comparative balance of rate between labour supply and working-age population. Accompany is the decreasing of new borned population that reduces the new created labour increasing speed.

Generally speaking, the policy meatures to solve the ageing population problems for developed countries are mainly four categories: delaying the retirement ages, compression pension fund expenses, increasing income of pension funds and accumulation the pension funds. In Germany, the retire age raised from 65 years old to 67 years in 2002. Then in 2004, Germany government modified the public pension policy. The new policy according to the change of etirement populations paying rate automatically adjust public pension treatment. When the rate of ageing population is raising, the pension treatments will automatically decrease. In 1970s, Great Britain government reduced the public pension expenses and encouraged developing supplication pension plan which included providing tax incentives. In addition, some countries also adopt other ways to face the ageing population problems, such as encouraging families to have more children and immigration in order to increase the number of younger adults.

To sum up, developed countries is facing ageing population caused severe social problems. For instance, employment, higher pension expenses, social welfare and health care and so on. However, this situation for ageing population is the direct achievement of medical, education improvement and economy development as well. It also the improvement results of public health affairs, such as drinking health, solving malnutrition, infectious, parastic deseases and reducing maternal and child mortality results. If using the collect ways to treat and solve it, the whole societies will reach harmony.

I have spent time reading this blog and I found that there were many mistakes which I could avoid if I read it sooner. Thank you Simon!

please, asses my essay.
The paper will be concerned with the possible problems and solutions on the middle lifespan that is increasing in modern civilization.
First of all, longitude of the increasing life expectance will affect on the price of taxes in society. Goverment expenses high amount of money to its citizen in the field of pension. In this case, Goverment will adopt higher taxes for paying retired people’s pensions due to the age of people that are living longer and also, duration of employees in their working period will be a greater while. Another point is that as much older workforce, as few younger workers on society. One consequence of this is Goverment can adopt rulls about the responsibility of young on looking after their relatives, even if sons or daughters have not provided with jobs yet and it causes another negotioations.
As regards the most appropriate response to this situation would be encouraging immigration in order to enhance the quality of workforce by replacing old workers by youngers. Majority of foreign workers are ready to do even black works, however older workers health can not allow to do phisical loading activities. For this reason, immigration is quite suitable solution for Goverment and simultaneously for citizen to avoid extra astronomical prices. Also, another way of overcoming this problem is encouraging people to have more children. This method gives a chance to keep life expectancy in normal stage, likewise it is very suitable for countries that care about saving their originality. In this way, Goverment may promise payoffs like UAE countries. It looks like a prevention which is better than cure.
The world surely be better place to live in if everything will keep in middle gold and life expectancy is not exeption.

FROM SIMON:

I'm afraid I no longer have time to answer everyone's questions individually. However, I do still read them all, and I try to answer some questions in a lesson once a week (usually Saturdays).

PS. I'll continue with the essay topic above next week.

Hi Bek,

Thanks for sharing your essey. It's great to pick up some good ideas from your essay. having read your essay I should say that you've dealt with second paragraph better than the first one, as you did write more abour solutions rather than problems. Then I think putting more than difficulties of ageing give more balance to your essay. Yet, there are some drawbacks in terms of grammar and word choices. I picked a couple of them up here.
1)Article: dont leave your nouns bare throughout the essay. Ex: Goverment expenses high amount of money to its citizen in the field of pension.( when you talk about something in general make it plural unless it is identified followed by "the"
Majority of foreign ( the majority of..)

2)expense is noun " Government expenses( incorrect)
3)structure and preposition:as much older workforce, as few younger workers on society( the much older workforce, the fewer younger worker in a society.( I think " the" is more natural) and also "in" a society
4)word choice:(Government can adopt rulls about the responsibility of young on looking) :introduce/impose rules : ex Governments could introuse rules for the youth who have the responisbility of taking care of older people, or There are rules could be introduced to make looking after older people compulsory(as what I think you were going to say)
5)spelling: Goverment,negotiotion

There are other errors in terms of word choice. I think considering the clarity makes your essay greater, and improves your coherence and cohision, as you already know about making good sentences and lexical resources are to some extent fine. Hope you find this comment useful,

Salamat

Thank you Simon, your comments are really beneficial

Hello, Salamat. I appreciate your work, you have really done great work. I would ask you if you can give me your email and check my essay?

Hi Simon and every one. This is my essay, every comment is an advice for me.
It is inevitably true that people’s age is going up with the development of the world. The increase of human life’s length leads to significant problems for individuals and our society, however, we can implement various methods to deal with these problems.
The rise of senior citizens number results in hug pressures on authorities and young people in the reality. Governments have to reduce their spending on other sectors such as: education, infrastructure and economic investment because of raising welfare funds. Moreover, there is an increase in retired people who will receive a pension that brings about strongly effects on the national budget. Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults means that smaller working population. They also have more heavy tax burden and responsibilities to look after their elderly relatives.
In order to resolve these difficulties, we can adopt many effective ways. Age retirement will rise so that the expenditure of national pension funds could be released. Authorities should spend more on programs studying advance medical techniques to help old people can work for longer and stay healthy with low costs. On the other hand, governments may also encourage people have more children to increase the percentage of working population. Reducing the migration restrictions is alternative method to raise the national human resources.
In summary, average life expectance increase puts high pressure on community and every person. And to solve this trouble, we can use approaches to raise the number of children, the young density higher and bring the expenses for old people down.
(254 words)

HI thangngovan,

You have done good work, covered all bullets and put some phrasal verbs that definitely raised your writing. The paraghraphes are well-organised and easy to follow throughout the essay.However, some points I'd like to put forward here:
Dont socrifice your clarity to make sophisticated sentences, try to display your meaning as clear as possible.

here are some word choice and grammar errors:

1)The increase of human life’s length leads to==> The increased longevity of humans leads to

2)The rise of senior citizen numbers results in hug pressures on authorities ==>
The growing number of senior citizens results in financial pressures on

3) who will receive a pension that brings about strongly effects on the national budget===> who will receive pensions that bring about strong effects on the national budget

4)Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults means that smaller working population===>( better structure)==> Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults, the smaller group of working populations.

5)They also have more heavy tax burden and responsibilities ==> They also bear heavier tax burdens and responsibilities

6)Age retirement will rise so that the expenditure of national pension funds could be released==> The retirement age should be raised that the government could cut the budget of national pensions.


7)Authorities should spend more on programs studying advance medical techniques to help old people==> Authorities should spend more money on programmes studying advanced medical techniques to help out old people.

8)stay healthy with low costs==> at low costs.

9)encourage people have more children to increase==> to have more children

10)In summary, average life expectance increase puts high pressure on community and every person ==> In summary, increasing the average life expectancy puts considerable pressures on a community and individuals.

11)we can use approaches to raise the number of children, the young density higher and bring the expenses for old people down.===> we can take approaches to raise the number of young adults and cut down the expenses of old population.( both verbs use and bring down are correct)

Hope you find my comments useful.

Salamat

hi Salamat

Is there any chance to contact you by email? cos i really like your writing and hopefully can get some help from you, will be very appreciate.

thanks

cindy

[email protected]


Hi Cindy,HIbba,..

I'm glad you like my essay. I should say I'm not an examiner or a right person who can come up with all your drawbacks of your essays, but you are welcomed to send one essay to make comments on them,I'm affraid I cannot deal with more as I'm really busy.

Best Regards,

Speaking topic in IELTS today 12th of jan 2013.
Tell about place where large amount people , crowd gathered?
Where ? And why people are gathered ? And why did go to that place

Hi Salamat,

Just a few comments on your essay.

Firstly, in the introduction you could put together the first and second sentence together so it will make sense and addresses the topic.

Secondly, 1st paragraph – ‘main problems’ I think ‘main problem’ is more appropriate because you are talking about one problem here and that is the tax burden. ‘should levy’ could be better if you will write ‘put/impose levy on working people’ because if you will look on the meaning of levy it means additional amount of money that has to paid to the government which is tax.

Thirdly, ‘didn’t’ – abbreviation is not allowed in essay especially if you are taking the academic module.

All in all, the essay is quite good. It answers the question and presents a good range of vocabulary.

Kind regards,
Danny

Dear Salamat
First of all, let me thank you for your useful comments. They are really precious advices to help me improve my writing skills.I have a question : In writing task 2, is there any problem if i use possessive? allowed or not?
I read your essay above and have a comment on word number of body paragraphs. It seems not balance. Personally, it is more efficient if we have a proportional length of these paragraph.
I saw your email : [email protected] above, so could i send my essays and you can check them for me,please ?

Hi Salamat,

I have one minor comment on your very good essay, that is the use of the word "should" in your first body paragraph. As in this paragraph, the intention is to point out problems related to an aging population, I think it would be more appropriate if we "have to" instead of "should". Using "should", in my opinion, brings the sense of giving advice rather than describing a problem.

For example, "young people should spend more time on looking after ageing population" => "you people would have to spend more time..."

Hi thangngovan,

It is okay to use possessive in task 2. I don't see any reasons why it should not be allowed, but it's important to use it properly. This tells about mistakes in using possessives: http://library.nakanishi.ac.jp/kiyou/gaidai(31)/05.pdf. Hope that my comments help. P/S Are you Vietnamese, by the way? I am Vietnamese too. Took the IELTS test one year ago :)

HI Thang Trinh
Thank you so much for your answer. I can't access the link above? my email is: [email protected] .So could you please send me the soft file of this topic? Well, i am trying to practice and do plan to do exam at the end of March. By the way, would you mind if you give me your email so that i can ask you some question ?

Hello frineds,

Could someone please review my post below and provide your valuable comments. Highly apriciated any feedback of you.

The average lifespan of the people is increasing in the current world. Especially we can see this in developed countries. This situation is leading to problems such as increasing expenses on healthcare, improving Para transport system, burden will rise on young adults in our society. Hence government and society has to take necessary steps to overcome this situation.
The main problems those occur when the elderly generation is increasing are the burden on the government or companies to pay pensions, the infrastructure need to changed for improvise the Para transportation system, the burden will rise on the adult generation based on the ratio between elderly and working adults, the demand of the healthcare will certainly rise. To implement good condition and provide necessities to elderly people, government has to increase taxes. There is a changes of downward in productivity and economic of the country.
In my view, the solution could be to overcome of these problems, the government and individual has to come up with proper plans such as increase the retirement age, introducing advanced health system, increasing the proportion of the young adults by having more children. The government has to increase the retirement age and people has to retire later accordingly. This will surely reduce the burden on the young adult. The healthcare system has to be improvised to provide the proper health to people and individual has to change his lifestyle by introducing exercise in their daily activities and consuming proper food to improve their health. This can help people to work extended years.
Although there are some problems with growing life span of the humans, with proper plans and advanced medical system, I think we can easily overcome those problems and have nice long life.

Hi Shedu, you have a hard effort and i have comments on your essay.
Hence government and society has to take necessary steps to overcome this situation-> However, government and society COULD take ...( suggest, not request)
Topic sentence of first paragraph is too long and not clear.
The main problems those occur when the number of elderly people is increasing, lead to raise the financial burden on the government and young adults.
There is a changes of downward-> there are
In the topic sentence, you don't need to list all ideas, let get a general one and make it clear by supporting sentence later
->the government and individual may come up with proper plans in order to deal with these problems.
improvised -> improved
Here are my supports, hope it helpful for you!

Hello Thangngovan,

Thank you so much for your valuable comments.

Hi everyone, this is my essay. Please don't cherish your words. Thank you!

According to United Nations published “The outlook of world population in 2008”, in the next 40 years, the scale and rate of global ageing population is rapidly increasing. The number of over 60 years increased from 760 million to 2 billion, reached 22% from 11% in the whole population.The rate of over 60 years population takes 21.7% in the developed countries and will most likely increase to 32.5% in 40 years.

Developed countries take the lead to entering ageing soceity, although high standard of economy development level provides advantage conditions for solving this problem, it is still the main economic and social problems in the developed countries. The most obvious situation is an increase in the number of retired people will receive a pension, the government will take more burden. In some west european countries, because of implementing high income tax and high social welfare policy, the cost for social security reaches to nearly one third of national income. For US, the expenses of pension exceeded the national defense fees and became the main financial expenditure projects in past some years. In addition, ageing population will also rise the demand for healthcare. Elders need richful mental life. The elders’ suicide rates reach highly in many developed countries, kinds of mental diseases make trouble of elderly groups. The main reason is the loose family connection in these countries, especially for self living elders who lose companion and feel longly and helpless that need more young adults to look after them. What’s more, ageing population changes the age sturcture of the labour supply. Ageing population decreases the labour supply that leads the comparative balance of rate between labour supply and working-age population. Accompany is the decreasing of new borned population that reduces the new created labour increasing speed.

Generally speaking, the policy meatures to solve the ageing population problems for developed countries are mainly four categories: delaying the retirement ages, compression pension fund expenses, increasing income of pension funds and accumulation the pension funds. In Germany, the retire age raised from 65 years old to 67 years in 2002. Then in 2004, Germany government modified the public pension policy. The new policy according to the change of etirement populations paying rate automatically adjust public pension treatment. When the rate of ageing population is raising, the pension treatments will automatically decrease. In 1970s, Great Britain government reduced the public pension expenses and encouraged developing supplication pension plan which included providing tax incentives. In addition, some countries also adopt other ways to face the ageing population problems, such as encouraging families to have more children and immigration in order to increase the number of younger adults.

To sum up, developed countries is facing ageing population caused severe social problems. For instance, employment, higher pension expenses, social welfare and health care and so on. However, this situation for ageing population is the direct achievement of medical, education improvement and economy development as well. It also the improvement results of public health affairs, such as drinking health, solving malnutrition, infectious, parastic deseases and reducing maternal and child mortality results. If using the collect ways to treat and solve it, the whole societies will reach harmony.

hello,can someone assess my essay
It is true that average longitivity of people has increase and bring many problems for the society.There are possible solutions present to tackle the problem ,only a pragmatic approach is required.
Firstly,there will be an increase in the number of retired people who receive pension and enforce government to adopt higher taxes which puts an extra burden on working adults.Secondly,as older people are more prone to health problems,therefore,demand for healthcare will rise.Furthermore,there will be smaller proportion of younger adults for workforce,as a consequence of increase in life expectancy of people.Additionally,younger adults will compromise there other work to lookafter elderly people.
To solve these problems ,government should increase the age of retirement and the state pension age should be increase that will probably reduce some burden of working adults.In particular,to increase the younger workforce, government should loosen immigration laws that allow younger generation from other countries work in developed countries.In addition,people should be encourage to have more children to boost proportion of younger adults.Government should fund medical advancement and health programmes that might allow people to stay healthy and work for longer.
In conclusion,increase in the life expectancy puts an excessive burden on society ,which can be release by government intervention and by raising the proportion of adults in the population.

I found this exercise quite interesting. Here is my version:

The improvement in health and life conditions has created several benefits to the world but it is also adding pressure on governments and families. In developed countries, such as in Europe, for example, the average life expectancy can sometimes reaches 80-years old, whilst the average age of retirement remains 55 years-old for women and 60 years-old for men. This creates an imbalance between taxes paid by working population and the use of this money by pensioners.

The scenario is quite grim. Governments of majority of countries still suffer the effects of the financial crises and are unable to raise taxes on working population, which struggles with the phantom of unemployment. Families struggle to keep their basic needs up-to-date and it is quite common to see core families becoming extended (as per adding close relatives, such as grandparents) in a way to reduce household costs.

The lack of formal employment adds even more tension in the pension reform debate. People without jobs are unable to pay taxes and in some countries, the system allows them to use a benefits scheme while out of work. The result is less money for the government to handle unemployment and retirement of the nation.

Some economists, though, defend that there is light at the end of the tunnel and suggest that the governments of such countries could apply some alternative measures to avoid the disproportion between taxes' income and outcome. One palliative measure would be to develop an immigration programme, allowing non-nationals to work and, therefore, to pay taxes. Secondly, the government could create an incentive scheme to people to have babies, increasing the base of the working population, improving the situation in the long term. Consecutively, the government could relax the retirement law, allowing that older people retire when it is beneficial for both employee and employer.

Finally, the combination of these measures could reduce the impact of the ageing process over the working population.


(321 words, but I must say that I am faster typing than handwriting).

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In the breakneck pace of modern science and technology, more and more people lives longer unlike before. The advancement of medicine that cures many diseases aid in prolonging people's lives. Moreover, the convenience of living such as clean air, safe transport, plethora of nutritional product and so on likely increases life expectancy. This phenomenon stirs an unlikable consequences to the family as well as to the community. However, there are available solutions to buck the trend.
First of all, wealthy nations produce older people by leaps and bounds in many years. This means that their governments are overspending a bucket of money on aged people through medical care, nursing home care and other. To make matters worse, the work forces are imbalance since older people do not work laboriously unlike their counterpart.
On the other hand, there are several ideas to mitigate the issue on the growing number of older people. One of the main ideas is to extend the retirement age of working individual, perhaps up to 65 or 75 years old. By giving a benefit of a doubt, these ages can still work effectively. Another equally important idea is to encourage migration of working people after job retirement. This is evidently true to many retired people who spend the rest of their lives in tropical countries like Thailand and the Philippines because they do not only appreciate the weather but also the cheap basic commodities and services.
To put this matter in a nutshell, it is undoubtedly true that older people in many wealthy countries increases in many years, albeit there are many potential drawbacks. However, there are solutions on the table to resolve the issue.

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