IELTS General Training: complaint letter

Here's my letter for last week's question:

Comments

[Sunil]

Thank you Simon for your answer.

[roshavbg]

Hi Simon,
do I need to put space between Yours faithfully and the name just like the space between the paragraphs?
And do I need to write next word after "Dear sir or madam," with capital letter, for example, in your letter is "I am writing" here is "do I need?

Thank you.

[Mh]

Is it correct?

"I am writing to bring your attention to the problems very frequently happened this days on your train"

I've got a bit confused to the first sentence using bring & attention with those prepositions

Many thanks

[Mh]

Hi again,

I have seen several people complain or complaining to members of your staff??

[hq]

Dear Ryan, I just had a question from you. Can I make up imaginary surveys and researches on IELTS, for example can i say according to a research by harvard university, shopping from supermarkets has decreased by 10%. ?

[JSP]

Hi Simon,

This is my first post here, thus I would like to thank for your great contribution and suggestions.

I am used to extend the sentences. For ex:(from the above letter introduction line)

'....to your attention some issues with my local train', the same line I'll write like:
'.....to your attention about some of the issues that I am facing in local train'

Can you clarify me, elaborating the sentence will degrade the impression/band?

Thanks once again.

[Chandra]

Hi Simon,

I took IELTS exam today, and I completed the letter with 130 words because I wrote Task 2 for longer time. How many bands will I loose for not meeting the required number of words in Task 1.

[Arnie]

Hello Simon,

Is it ok to introduce yourself when writing a complaint letter?

[Sayeed Iqbal]

Dear Simmon,

Question regarding letter:
A neighbour disturb due to noise and he wrote me a complaint letter.
Tell him the reasons of noice
apology
remedy

I wrote following letter:

Thank you very much for letter in which you pointed out noise from my houseflat.

First of all I let you know that there was a repair work being done
in last week. Then few of our relatives visit us who were also
associate with two kids. They spoil the whole atmosphere, being
kids we were unable to compel them to be quiet. Installation of
airconditioner just add to this all stuff.

I apologize for this on first hand straightforwardly. I know noise
sometime unbearable and causes a lot especially if someone is ill.
With due regards I ask for your forgiveness.

As far as to overcome this issue, I would like to inform you that
the repair work, being the major factor of noise, is goig to
end in a day or so. Guest have already left and we asked them
to be carefull about their kids if they visit us again. I do
have also a plan to equip the walls with some noise controlling
material and hope it will control noise dramatically.

Once again I feel regret the inconvenience caused by the noise and assure you
this shall not occur again.

Regards

---On Same topic my teacher wrote as:

With reference to your letter regarding noise coming from my house,
I first of all appologize.
In actuality, some of my house hold items like funigure, kitchen,
curtains and wo cupboard were broken since last summer. For last few months,
I was planning to repair them but the biggest hazard was the resulting
noise. I planned to repir them in day time on a weekend thinking that you
remain away n weekends. but by chance, last sunday, you was at home with
your family and it was not there in my noitce. I worked for the whole day
keeping in view the same thing. Still i was quite conscious about the nooise
but, i feel really sorry that the same noise bothered you a lot.

Now, after above mentioned explanation, I assure you that, in future,
you will not have to face the smae problem. Actually, i have made
arrangement for a carpenter who will come in your absence and within 2 hours
he will complete his job. So, I am quiet sure that it will not be a
distrubance for you again.

In the last, I again put my due appology for the incovenience you had to face
due to me.

----
Please have a look and rate both Letters. I need your point of view Sir.