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Wednesday, September 05, 2012

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true! we need to address all, but lastly we need to favor one only ?
please ans this to me.

It is true that people have different views about whether punishments for serious criminals or petty offenders should be given.However,I believe that the role of prisons should be to punish each criminal,and I do not agree with the idea that training courses and education are a waste of money.

My first try to write an introduction here.If there is any mistake,just correct me.Thanks!

hi simon,
what i got the idea from ur suggestion is that
1st paragraph=the role of prisons is to punish serious criminals

2nd =there should be courses and educational programmes for the prisoners.
am i rght?
simon i thought that the examiner just want to describe a fact in the first part of the question and it is nothing to do with repeating that fact ,but i think u mean that we should discuss that part too.AM I RIGHT?
kindly tell.
thanks

There are two opinion for criminals who commited serious crime wether to punish them or educate them.Personally,I believe that they should be given imprisoment.

Prison keep them away from society.If they are in prison and if they get punishment then they might hesitate to offend a crime in future.Criminal might warn other criminal not to commint particular crime as punishment for that crime is difficult to tolerate.For example, in some middle east countries there is death sentence for rape.

Although,some people belive that criminals should be given education training,I believe that it is a waste of money,becasue criminals have their motivation behind crimes.For example,some people commit crime to feed their family.In this case education progrramme will not solve their problem.There are some patient who commit crime because they are not mentally stable so they get help form psychologist.

Conclusion-

hi Simon

If there are two main reasons or effects in a paragraph, will you use firstly, secondly, or firstly, finally
thanks

Hi simon , actually i found question about tourism which is a relatively easy topic for me,however the question is confusing.
here is the question:
The tourist industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefit the countries which tourist visit.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.


the answer obviously is disagree but do i need to mention the benefits and the drwaback or just the benefits???

thanks

Hi simon,
fascinating lessons!
But if I agree with the first statement, and have a different idea about the second opinion, then how to write the introduction paragraph? (background + opinion)
For the opinion, can we should see:
Apartly, I think the prison is the ideal prosition for those people who commit serious crime; however, the money is worth to spend in the prisonors education and training courses.

It is reasonable?

Here is my introduction for the topic;
It is true that prisons are a type of punishment which is reserved for serious offences.I disagree with this statement as all offenders should be placed behind the bars at least once .I also disagree that money spent on the teaching and rehabilitation of offenders goes wast.

simon just to ask you that can we write two sentences about disagreement for a two part question as i did.

Hi Simon,

Can you help me distinguish between two types of questions"Do you agree or disagree?" and "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" Can I have the same structure assay for both two kind of questions?

Many thanks

Some people argue that a prison is a place in which serious criminals should be served out their sentence . And also they do not believe in educational programs running in prison. I think this is partly true due to the following reasons.

Prison has been established to maintain offenders to receive sentence. Even in the past, there were categorized among offenders to keep them in a proper place. Today we encounter various crimes from assassinate to kidnapping to computer crimes. It does seem that we cannot keep an assassin with a hacker or a serious criminal with a petty criminal. Meanwhie,it would be better for some crimes such as computer hacking, offenders serve out some social programs rather than to be hold in prison.

However, I think training course assists offenders as well as a society. They learn some skills that bring a sense of fulfillment to a prisoner, opening up a greater chance for criminals to find a job when released. This helps offenders to return a normal life and reduce the risk of recommitting. And also it is likely that taking control of those prisoners, who their time already have been filled by education programs, is much easier than those who are deprived of such courses.
To sum up, I agree with this point that prisons should be deal with serious crimes. They also need to run some courses such vocational courses to be to the benefit of prisoners. This opens up opportunities for offenders in their future lives as well as helps wardens to have a better control on them.

Other version from Brian:

Some people argue that a prison is a place in which serious criminals should be served out their sentence. And also they do not believe in educational programs running in prison. I think this is partly true due to the following reasons.

The main reason why serious offenders should be kept in the prison rather than petty criminal is rooted in the prison’s approaches. One approach aims to protect the public against criminals. We should notice that some crimes are not as much dangerous as serious crimes. Addressing those crimes in other ways would reduce the crime rate as well as cut the budget of prisons. Social programs, for example, could be run for some crimes such as street fighting or disruptive behaviors. Meanwhile, we already higher the crime rate if imprison a petty criminal along a serious one. In fact, a fresh prisoner would learn some tricks from hardened criminals, and it is very likely to see that those prisoners recommit crimes.

However, I cannot ignore the importance of training courses for prisoners. There are some benefits in running vocational educations. First, a prison through learning some skills or master of them can increase the chance of finding a job when releasing. It would possibly reduce the risk of recommitting, as they have such abilities to be employed and earn a living. Second, not only prisoners would benefit from training courses but also security guards would face less disruptive behavior. In fact, prisoners are already preoccupied with such programs that have less time to get others into trouble.

In conclusion, I agree with this point of view that the prison should deal with hardened or serious criminals not petty criminals. And also prisoners should be prepared with training courses to learn some skills and knowledge that will be of the great benefit to them.

hi brian,
are you a native speaker?
thanks

a little bit revised:
Some people argue that a prison is a place in which serious criminals should be served out their sentence. And also they do not believe in educational programs running in prisons. I think this is partly true due to the following reasons.

The main reason why serious offenders rather than petty criminals should be kept in the prison is rooted in the prison’s approaches. One approach aims to protect the public against criminals. We should notice that some offenders are not too dangerous that we consider them the serious criminals. Addressing those crimes in other ways would reduce the crime rate as well as resources of prisons. Social programs, for example, could be run for some crimes such as street fighting or disruptive behaviors. Meanwhile, we already higher the crime rate if imprison a petty criminal along with a serious one. In fact, a fresh prisoner would learn some tricks from hardened criminals, and will be tempted to apply them after releasing.

However, I cannot ignore the importance of training courses for prisoners. There are some benefits in running vocational educations. First, a prison through learning some skills or master of them can increase the chance of finding a job when releasing. It would possibly reduce the risk of recommitting, as they have such abilities to be employed and earn a living. Second, not only prisoners would benefit from training courses but also security guards and wardens would face less disruptive behavior. In fact, prisoners are already preoccupied with such programs that have less time to get others into trouble.

In conclusion, I agree with this point of view that the prison should deal with hardened or serious criminals not petty criminals. And also prisoners should be prepared with training courses to learn some skills and knowledge that will be of the great benefit to them.

Hi Brian

Second attempt is very well written.

I am sure you are a native speaker ...

Isn't it .

Alka

hi brian

i m sure u r a native speaker. rnt u?

kevin

FROM SIMON:

I no longer have time to answer everyone's questions individually. However, I do read them all, and I'll try to answer some of them in a lesson each Saturday.

PS. Thanks for sharing your essays Brian.

HI, ALL
i am wriing the all parts of this essay question. Hope you will enjoy.
The role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. Training courses and education offered to prisoners are a waste of taxpayer's money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that prison is the best place to penalize hardened criminals. Vocational training courses and reeducating the offenders is just to misuse the huge sums paid by public. It is agreed partially for the following reasons.
For one, the main function of the prison is to punish the offenders who commit the serious criminal activities, not the petty or white color offences. Prisons first of all make the people to think about the consequences before they commit a crime. Prison sentences somehow reduce the rate of crime effectively in many parts of the world. For example, last year, in London, many communal rioting groups of people were sentenced to prison in order to put an end to communal riots. As it is clear from this that now at least these individuals will think to deteriorate the law and order situation. Thus, it can be concluded from this real life example that prison is the appropriate place to house the criminals.
Another point is that vocational courses and reeducation programs could help the criminals for starting a new life, when they are free from the jail. These life supporting trainings and skills will certainly benefit them, when they will interact with the society after completing their sentence tenure. For example, a relative of my co-worker was sentenced for five years for an offence, who was found guilty in a trial in 2010. During this period, he learned the skills and training of carpentry. At the moment, he is working hard and enjoying this profession contently. Thus, it is understandable that vocational courses, rehabilitation and education programs can play a very clear role in making the lives of these people better and comfortable.
In conclusion, it has been shown that the prison is the best place to serve the offenders, and also at the same time it is also true that vocational training and skills are more beneficial to help and prepare the new life of offenders.

Hi Simon,

I have received the ebook and cant believe that only when I read it once (without learning) while answering questions, ideas wont stop coming to my head.

now there is a problem with that..
I have written an essay based on environment (damages, who can do what to prevent) and when i counted the words.., it was 450. although, I have finished the essay in 25 minutes, my question is - is there any disadvantage of writing double number of words than required. and second

Do I write only 2-3 reasons for each body para? os is ok to write as much as I can.

Thanks
Mohit

Hi simon,

Thank you for your guidelines.

Was this question on of the ielts exams ??

Cheers
REENA


Since time immemorial, prisons have been practiced across world to punish the offenders but very recently education and training for prisoners have been implemented in various prisons. Some people argue that when prison's primary function is to punish the guilty then money spent on education and training is a simply waste of public money, while others say that, the later has a pivotal role in molding the behaviour of the prisoners. However, this essay discusses both the view points before drawing a well reasoned conclusion.

In one camp, people believe that the prime motto of prisons is to punish the guilty. Based on this principle the prisons function all over the world and sends a strong message to the world that constitution follow zero tolerance against any sorts of crime. For instance, Mr.Kasab who was involved in conducting inhuman act in Taj Hotel,Mumbai,India and he killed many people n that day now facing a life time imprisonment. Already government has spent crores on this investigation and if government start spending on education and training him its nothing waste of taxpayers money. Thus, education and training should not practiced in prisons.

On the other hand, though the above point can be justifiable but every guilty should be given an opportunity to understand the mistake and develop humanity in the heart and for that education is must.For example, a criminal in the United States who used to produce duplicate currencies after counselling and education he started helping in finding the duplicate currency as he was expert in it. As a result, the police, public and counties economy benefited from it. Thus, this illustration clearly show the importance of education in molding character.

After analysing the above arguments, it is felt that education and training may act like oasis in the life of criminals and in the society as many gets benefit from it. Thus, it is anticipated that such training will continue in prisons irrespective of its expenses.

Dear Simon,

I bought your ebook recently. I was looking for the idea for a question...

Some people believe that creative arts like painting and music, should have financial suport from the goverment. other argues that creative arts should get financial support from other sources. discuss both views and state your opinion.

I could not find any idea regarding art, music or paintings. I am not keen into these subjects, thus I have no idea of their use in our life. Could you please help me?

regards

Hi Shana

Here are some ideas for this topis .
Simon please correct me if I have out of the track.
• Due to lack of fix financial support, artists are unable to purchase basic equipments
• Unable to get training to enhance their creativity in art and music
• Demotivated, they feel family pressure, as they need a source of fix income
• Other sources of finance like own exhibition, sell of art always not successful.
• Some artists even do not have enough money to organise such events.
• Govt can help to release some monthly fix amount in order to promote creativity

Dear Simon,
Thank you indeed for your useful webpage.. God Bless You...

Could you please have a look on this sentence below..

1. I believe that it is more inclined to be a positive trait.

or

2. I believe that it is a positive trait.

Can I use this in introduction as my opinion.. Which one seems better..?

Thank you..

Dear Simon,

I feel its a kind of different question and need to include two facts to argue..It seems bit confusing me... Please have a look into the introduction..

Imprisonment and rehabilitation programs for criminals are always a matter of debate. Some people argue that jails are mean to punish those who commit serious offenses, and the educational and practical sessions provide them would be a waste of national wealth. However I partially agree with the former view, it is completely disagreeable about the latter view.


Would you please write a concise introduction for this..

Thanking You

Dear Simon,
I have an IELTS exam this weekend and I have been following your website for 2 weeks, and learned a lot more than others.
I have a question about a writing topic. Here it is:
"The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"
I wrote introduction and ended up with "I agree with this point of view for couple reasons. The following is a discussion of the extent to which I agree." However, I stuck to start my body paragraphs. Should I start about discussions like "One the one hand,...On the other hand..." or "Firstly,..." or "Secondly..." why I disagree ?
I know you should be busy but, still
Many thanks
Ayshe

Hi Shana,

First, Id like to say something about Simon's ebook. Besides this ebook is great, you should not expect to find every thing, the way in which you use this book is to get used to how can make a plan for every essay. ALks already did it well, providing you with good ideas.

Here is the essay I tried to write about your topic, although Im not sure whether it is an IELTS topic or not.

Artists like other people should earn a living. And as the art is still the only their main income, and more often than not they cannot afford to prepare their equipment therefore they need to be assisted by sponsors. Whether this sponsor should be the government funding or the private resource, is a matter of some debate.

Some people may argue that the private sector can provide artists with greater facilities. They think that the private sector tend to return their investments, it is very likely to create better atmosphere to artist to feel relax with less concern, resulting to more creativity in artworks. This benefits both the artist and the private sector. Hollywood, for example, is running by private companies such as Fox, Paramount and Sony. I think if there were not the private investment, we have never seen such blockbuster movies.

However, there are kinds of arts that attract no or less attention of private companies. As they possibly have fewer fans, it is unlikely that the private sector has a tendency to invest in it. Traditional arts, for example, among such new modern arts possibly need more governmental resources to survive, as it is widely accepted how significant its role is to distinguish one country from others. It is no exaggeration to say that if there were not such supports, it is likely some traditional arts would die.

In conclusion, I think both the public and private sector need to go hand in hand in this case. And it is true that some arts require private sectors to develop and others are at the mercy of a government.

Artists like other people should earn a living. And as the art is still the only their main income, and more often than not they cannot afford to prepare their equipment therefore they need to be assisted by sponsors. Whether this sponsor should be the government funding or the private resource, is a matter of some debate.
Some people may argue that the private sector can provide artists with greater facilities. They think that the private sector tends to return their investment, it is very likely to create a better atmosphere to artist to feel relaxed with less concern, resulting to more creativity in artworks. This benefits both the artist and the private sector. Hollywood, for example, is running by private companies such as Fox, Paramount and Sony. I think if there were not the private investment, we have never seen such blockbuster movies.
However, there are kinds of arts that attract no or less attention of private companies. As they possibly have fewer fans, it is unlikely that the private sector has a tendency to invest in it. Traditional arts, for example, among such new modern arts possibly need more governmental resources to survive, as it is widely accepted how significant its role is to distinguish one country from others. It is no exaggeration to say that if there were not such supports, it is likely some traditional arts would die.
In conclusion, I think both the public and private sector need to go hand in hand in this case. And it is true that some arts require private sectors to develop and others are at the mercy of a government.


Hi Simon
is that ok if i use some components of structure of discussion in my essay?

The functions of the prison are punishment; therefore life in the prison should be hard. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Bangladesh 2012 Academic October.

From the centuries criminals are detained and punished for their deprived actions. This can be seen in prisons around the world. It is agreed that living conditions in prison should be hard. This will be proven by analysing both by teaching lessons to criminal about their criminal act as well as deter general public by showing living style in prison.
Firstly, tough punishment teaches lesson to prisoner, about the wrongful act he did in his life. For example, murders, rapist and robbers are detained in special cells in prison, where punishments are very hard. This is because; these crimes are treated as notorious in societies, and thus reflect or make perpetrator understandable the ramifications of his action. As a result he is penalized by putting in solid and unhealthy conditions. Therefore it is obvious that style of life for criminals should be strong.
Secondly, rough circumstances in the prison frightened general public to think before conducting any criminal act. For instance, centuries ago, prisoners are hanged till death in open to public because of their unlawful act. It is obvious after looking this example, no one in society dare to do any criminal act. Eventually nations become crime free. From this it is concluded situation in the lockups should be callous.
After analysing the area of teaching lessons to detainees and deterring general public about the wrongful act. It is thus believed, environment in lock ups should be hard hitting. It is therefore I hoped government should make stricter punishments for brutal criminals.

The role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. Training courses and educations offered to prisoners are a waste of taxpayers` money. To what to extend do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age there are many crimes committed across the world. Some of these offenders committed are very serious. In case of such crimes I believe these offences should be severely punished, not educated.
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why the government should spend taxpayer’s money on training courses and re-educate prisoners. First of all, society should provide an opportunity for criminals to start their life from scratch. Some believe that if criminals acquire new skills it may help them obtain employment in the prison. As a result, they can support their families financially, particularly as they have lost a breadwinner.
At the same time on training courses criminals can rethink the crimes they committed. By common observation crimes are usually carried out by someone who is from a poor family or who does not have a proper education. Additional educational courses may help inmates not to repeat the same mistakes which they have made before.
On the other hand, providing training courses and re-education for hardened prisoners despite many other serious issues, such as unemployment and housing problems for everyday people, may seem as a highly unreasonable policy. There are those who argued that the government should direct money to healthcare and social programmes. Moreover, others advocate that prison is a place where those who are in prison should be penalised, not solve their problems. A number of criminals adjust to the life in prisons and attempt to return after they are released. This is because in many developed countries living standards in prisons are quite high. In this regard, it seems that jails should serve as a deterrent for such people. Those who are in jail have to understand in what kind of place they are and reconsider what they have done.
In conclusion, despite various negative implications that hardened criminals have on a society, I do believe that training courses and re-education could be a way of rehabilitation and a second chance to change their life for the better.

It's what i write for the introduction of this question using your style i hope i get the right idea.

People have different views about what the purpose of prisons should be.Although it can be argued that governments could save money by just prisoning offenders, i believe that society would be benefited more from educating prisoners.

Dear Simon,

Thanks a lot for this lesson. However, I am still a bit confused about it. Could you please help me with some questions? Thank you.

Here is an example question:
“These days everyone seems to have more and more possessions (e.g. computer, cars, mobile phones, etc.). Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others. Do you agree or disagree?”

My question is:
Should I write two paragraphs containing the two sub-topics, respectively?
1. Does everyone seem to have more and more possessions these days?
2. Is our strong desire to own these things making us less aware of important personal qualities?

But it seems to me that the question only wants to me to answer the second question…and answering the first question mentioned above does not seem to make too much sense either….What do you think about this?

Or if I only address the first sub-topic a little bit and then get to the point by focusing on the second sub-title, shown as follows, do you think it is acceptable?

Below is my attempt (second paragraph):

First of all, I am aware that the society has become increasingly materialistic and it is therefore tempting for people to pursue materialistic wealth. For example, we aspire to earn more money so that we can buy a bigger house or a better car to make our life more comfortable. However, we are also becoming less concerned about others as a result of such prevailing materialism…..

Please help. Thank you very much! ^^

I think this essay is best for neutral opinion
first main paragraph-
role of prison essential for serial offenders specially because it is very unlikely for them to deter from the path of wrong doings especially the serial murders n rapists etc.
Also to caution the other people that they would have to pay a price for their crimes
2nd main paragraph:
A prisoner's motive for crime should be thoroughly investigated. A large number of crimes are committed by individuals who illiterate and unskilled they see stealing as an easy way out n commit mistakes. such individuals should definitely be guided in learning skills. especially the kids in juvenile prisons. they are most likely to realize their offenses n can definitely benefit from vocational and educational programmes

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