IELTS Writing Advice: cohesion

Albert wrote a comment below Wednesday's lesson that I would like to share with you. It contains a key observation about how to write a good paragraph.

"Thanks for the great paragraph. I noticed that this paragraph is highly cohesive without any explicit linking words such as ‘furthermore/moreover’. I think this is what ‘uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention’ means for the band 9 level according to the descriptor, right? The way the sentences in the paragraph are linked together is by all the ‘money’ words in each sentence: earn money/the salary/pay/need money/wages/to save for the future/if…needed money. Is my understanding correct?"

I replied to Albert that this is exactly right! Cohesion means "togetherness", and the best way to link your ideas together is by developing them in a logical way, not by using 'moreover' or 'furthermore'.

Read my paragraph again, and hopefully you'll see what Albert means.

Comments

[Kasia]

Hi Simon,

in the first paragraph,for example an opinion essay ,do we need to introduce the ideas which we are going to present in the next paragraphs?for example if the question is: what do you think about private medical insurance?o
Do we need in the first paragraph say that for example we do not support private health centers because: 1.only rich people will be able to afford it and the majority of society will not have access to see doctors as quick as possible in comparison with wealthy people. 2.impoverished people will feel excluded from society/schools due to the division into poor people and rich people.

my question is that is it necessary to introduce our topic sentences for next paragraphs?or should we only express our opinion and paraphrase the question?

[Iqbal]

Hi Simon,

Today I received my Results. I got L8.5,R7.5,W6.5,S8.5 overall 8.

I need 7 in each, what do you think,if I go for Remarking for writing? what are the chances in your opinion?

thanks

[vivek]

Good Simon. "Togetherness" is what i am trying to achieve in my essays. I can easily gather the ideas for the topics, but i took long time to write the introduction and often i missed the flow in my essays. I am working hard to improve in those areas, and still i cannot find the perfect way. Do you have any tips?

Thanks Simon..

[tariq]

Dear Simon,
Thanks for as usual very helpful advice.I have a problem with my spelling which I think is cause of low ielts score.Kind give me some advice how can I improve spellig in short time?
thanks

[tariq]

Dear Iqbal.
Sorry for writing score,but you scored great in rest.I'm also struggling for 7 each.I think you should go for recheck but wait for Simon's advice.
best wishes
dr tariq

[gangchil]

Iqbal,great score.i am struggling to get individual 7 score.can u pls suggest me how u proceed to achieve this score?i think u should go for rechecking.but wait for Simon's advise.

[Kasia]

Hey are you all doctors??? I'm a doctor as well seems we are all in the same boat ...

[Iqbal]

Hi,Kasia yes, I am, not sure about others.

[Tariq]

Hi kaisa and Iqbal.
Yes I am a doctor as well.

[Simon]

Hi Kasia,

I don't put any ideas in the introduction. It's easier to save them for the main paragraphs.

...

Hi Iqbal,

As you got 2 bands higher in speaking, they've probably already double-checked your writing. This means that it's less likely that your score would change I'm afraid.

...

Hi Tariq,

Spelling is a matter of practice and learning from your mistakes!

...

Hi Vivek,

Just keep practising using the advice in my lessons. You'll get better with time.

[Mantarx]

Hi Simon,

are writing task 1 and task 2 examined by the same person or different ones?

I would like to learn this since is it a good idea to use same words,phrasal words in both tasks.

Thank you for your help.

[mahender]

i got score writing score 4.5 .how i can get 6.5 band can u advice me.