IELTS Writing Task 2: 'hobbies' essay

I wrote the following essay with some of my students. We tried to keep it clear, concise and well-organised, but it's still good enough for a band 9.

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some hobbies are relatively easy, while others present more of a challenge. Personally, I believe that both types of hobby can be fun, and I therefore disagree with the statement that hobbies need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable.

On the one hand, many people enjoy easy hobbies. One example of an activity that is easy for most people is swimming. This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying activity.

On the other hand, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully. For example, film editing is a hobby that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years before I became competent at this activity, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when I started. I believe that many hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.

In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons.

Note:
Notice that we used examples as the basis of both main paragraphs.

Comments

[Otabek]

hi there, simon
i would like to say that i got results from ielts today which was carried out in 12th april and it was listening 6.5 reading 5 writing 5.5 speaking 5 overall,5.5 . i would also mention that i could get higher. i think its because of the first ielts exam in my life and i was less in a hurry, stress but its enough for me to enter with self-finance and i want continue studying hard with my speaking
thanks for everything simon you really helped me with writing and listening

[ravi]

HI Simon.,

I am from India and in first attempt(17-3-2012) I got over all 6 bands(l:6,r:6,s:6,w:6) and with the help of your book & website tips I got overall 7 bands(l:7.5,R:7.5,S:6.5,W:6) in second attempt(12-4-2012).

Once again thanks to your Awesome work on Internet

[Simon]

Hi Otabek,

It might make you feel better to read Ravi's comment (below yours). Most people do better the second time. Good luck!

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Well done Ravi. Great improvement!

[Aleksandra Bucholc]

Oh dear Simon!
I wish I would write like you,in such a perfectly concise,well-organised sophisticated,but easy to follow way.Each your sentence has its aim and sense,nothing is unnecessary and there is no needless detail.Your introductions and conclusions are always accurate,short and neat.

My works,instead are too long and overloaded with too many details and ideas.I liked longer introductions and explanations.Now,I suppose,I know well how I should write my essays( many thanks for your lessons on the portal plus the course)but the old habits are very difficult to remove.I was told that I have a rich vocabulary,I have already read so many books in English and perhaps I wanted to show something of that.

So,I understood that we have to write,what is relevant to the topic,fully answer the question,but without unnecessary digressions and to make it in a well-organised manner, according to the structure of essays and with all these hints you teach us so patiently and wisely.
Thank you,
Aleksandra
PS:
When I have read ,today, your essay a week,after mine on the hobby topic I have become really dissatisfied with my trial.But,I know even today I would write it almost partially in a different way.

[nur]

dear simon,i already bought the e book and my exam will b held on 12th may GT,but still i feel discomfort on reading,writing and speaking and for immmigration i need all 7...please help me how can i start for this short period of time and everyday how much time i have to spend as i have my job continuing...

[bin]

Hi Simon, could you highlight some good phrase or local expression ?

[Jason Chan]

Hello,Simon. In the essay, you take three expamples. In the third example, you take your own experience about film editing. However, I suspect this validity because I think it is difficult to demonstrate this topic by personal examples. You should take famous people's examples or common knowledge. How do you think this idea?

[mehrdad]

Hi Simon
I'm so appreciated because i used your ebook and your website and i got band 7.5
Thank you so much.You have lots of fans in Iran ;)

[Seema]

Simon your really great..love your website.In my first attempt I just got only 5.5
and I need at least 6.5 for my further education hope this time i can achieve..

[Simon]

Hi Aleksandra,

I'm glad you like my writing style. Hopefully you can modify your own style a bit; I'm sure you'll get a good score if you do.

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Hi Nur,

Just keep working hard and practising. Best of luck!

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Hi Bin,

Sometimes I highlight the "band 7 vocabulary" in my lessons. I'll do more of that in future.

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Hi Jason,

Your idea would be fine too.

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Congratulations Mehrdad! 7.5 is a great score!

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Good luck Seema. Keep working hard!

[Elle Kim]

Hi, Simon!!
I'm studying 'Ideas of IELTS topics' of e-book you sent for a while ago. It's useful to me. I appreciate you.
By the way, I'd like to ask a question.
Is it correct, the sentence below on 'Techcology in Education : Opinion'?

" It can enhance a teacher's lessons. "
--> "a" is right? I want to know whether this sentence is grammatically correct.

Please, answer me. Thank you.

[Simon]

Hi Elle,

Yes, it's correct. It means "It can enhance the lessons of a teacher" (the lessons that one teacher does).

I'm glad you like the ebook!

[Elle Kim]

Thank you for your answer~!!! *^^*

[nata]

Hi Simon hi guys.i really need your help.i should write outline to the essays,but i don't know how to write,please help to me.its reall important for me. my email addres: nata19912606@mail.ru
or nata19912606@hotmail.ru

[nata]

and i wrote one of Narrative Essay with its outline can u please check anr write your comment?

SAMPLE OUTLINE
Title: Trip to Chicago
Introduction:
Introductory statements
Taisist statement: My 2003 trip to Chicago was both nerve wrecking and exciting at the same time
Body paragraps
First supporting idea (Topic sentence): I remember the first time I went to Chicago
Rush hour traffic
Long waiting becouse of trafic
Second supporting idea (topic sentence): Stopped off at mcdonald's to use a bathroom
Faced the problem locked door of the bathroom
trying solve the problem
Second supporting idea stopped (topic sentence): Later that night we went walking
walking on the water front
excited because of tall building Sears Tower
we drove by China Town
Conclusion:
Closing statements
Restate thesis: The trip to Chicago was definitely unforgettable.I had experienced things that I may not have ever been able to experience again

Trip to Chicago

Narrative Essay
Road tripping with friends is supposed to be fun and exciting. It gives me an opportunity to jump in the car and explore somewhere or something that I have never experienced. My 2003 trip to Chicago was both nerve wrecking and exciting at the same time because I got to be in certain situations that I have never been in before.
I remember the first time I went to Chicago, my then-boyfriend and I were in rush hour traffic. My heart was thumping in my chest so fast because I have never seen traffic like that before in my life. Cars were bumper to bumper, yet people were still trying to fit their vehicle in spaces no bigger than a toothpick. I decided right then and there that these folks were crazy drivers, and I did not want any part of it. I remember thinking to myself how delighted I was that I was the passenger and not the driver.
We had stopped off at McDonald's because I had to really use the bathroom. I was relieved when I reached my destination. I turned the handle to the bathroom, but the door was locked. I sat back down for a while, and went back to the lady's room. I attempted this feat five times. My ex just sat there looking at me stupid. He said, " They keep the door locked at all times because of the crack-heads going in there getting high. You will have to get the lady up front to unlock it for you". Hello, I am from a small town and the population is 10,000 therefore, I have never encountered this problem". Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.
Later that night we went walking on the water front. It was windy and somewhat chilly, but the lights reflecting off the buildings added a little romance to the evening. Maurice showed me Sears Tower, and I was so excited because the building was so tall. I felt like my neck was going to break looking up at it. I am a pretty tall woman, but compared to that building I felt 5 inches tall. Then we drove by China Town, I was really amazed at how beautiful it was. The buildings had signs on them written in Chinese language. Everything was lit up like a Christmas tree. It reminded me of some Hollywood movie up close and personal.
In essence, the trip to Chicago was definitely unforgettable, but I am glad that I took it. I had experienced things that I may not have ever been able to experience again. I saw a lot of wonderful and beautiful scenery. Most importantly, I learned that any of my future trips will be made without me behind the wheel. Being a passenger can be stressful enough at times.

please Simon correct my mistakes.thank you

[Pervin]

Hi Simon.How are you.Simon which book do you advise me to improve my writing and reading skills? Do you have own book?

[Mimo]

Hi Simon
the word hobby was repeated in your essay for 11 times. I wonder if this would decrease the overall score or not.
Thanks

[Simon]

Hi Pervin,

Just keep practising and following the lessons. I have an ebook for IELTS writing topics. You can find out more about it here:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/ielts-ebook.html

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Hi Mimo,

No, 'hobby' is a key word and needs to be repeated. It won't affect the score.

[Dave]

Simon, just want to ask, why did you include easy hobbies in this essay when it only ask if you agree or disagree if hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable?

[Dave]

Continuation.... Simon, does this mean i can also add reasons like to be succesful in their chosen career in this kind of question... Some people think that the only purpose of working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Tnx for any response.

[Simon]

Hi Dave,

My answer was that hobbies can be enjoyable whether they are difficult OR easy, so I was able to talk about both sides.

The answer to your second question is 'yes'. If you make it clear that there are OTHER reasons for working hard (in your opinion), you can mention them.

[Dave]

Thank you simon

[Mei Fang]

Hi Simon,

You listed down both easy and challenging hobbies. And you express that "you disagree with the statement" in the full essay. However, you also said that "you partly agree" with the statement in lesson dated 18th Apr. Which one is correct in order to discuss two types of hobby are enjoyable.

Another new topic: "Some people think that a large amount of time and money spent on the protection of wild animals is excessive and should be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion."

If I hold the opinion that I think we should both spend time and money on wildlife conservation and human beings. Should I say "partly agree" or "disagree" in order to introduce and discuss both views in my second and third paragraph?

Thank you.

[Simon]

Hi Mei,

When you want to talk about both sides of the argument, sometimes you need to disagree, but sometimes you need to partly agree.

Here's an easy example:
"Coffee is nicer than tea. Do you agree or disagree?"

In this case, I need to disagree if I want to say that both are nice. I think this is the same as the 'hobbies' answer I gave.

For your 'wild animals' question, I would probably partly agree: I'd say that some of the money could be diverted to human causes, BUT we should still spend some money protecting wild animals.

Deciding whether to agree, disagree or partly agree is never an "exact science" so don't worry too much. Just make sure that your message is as clear as possible.

[Jaime]

Hi Simon how can i purchase your Target 7 book?

[Simon]

Hi Jamie,

That's not my book. I only have one ebook, and it's here:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/ielts-ebook.html

[Ingrid]

Hi Simon,

I would like to ask a question concerning about the essay structure of the writing task 2.
Would it be ok if my essay's structure goes like:

Intro

Body:
A (arguments for one side)
B (arguments for another side)
C (my own opinion and argument)

Conclusion

As I am worried that if I include my own opinion and argument in the conclusion part, it would be too long and clumsy, also it seems to me that it will include ideas that I haven't mention before.
Or would it be better if I stay on the structure of Intro AB conclusion?

Thanks a lot.

[Ingrid]

Sorry, I've forgot to mention that the essay type that I was asking about is 'Discuss both sides and express your opinion'.

[Simon]

Hi Ingrid,

Your opinion will probably be the same as the view expressed in either paragraph A or B, so there is a risk that your paragraph C will be full of repetition. I tend to put my opinion in the introduction and conclusion, and mention in paragraph A or B that this is also my view (e.g. begin paragraph B: "On the other hand, I would argue that...")

[Ingrid]

Thanks for your reply Simon!

I would like to ask one more question..
I'm not quite sure what I should include in my conclusion..

If I stick to the format of Intro AB conclusion, is it necessary for me to sum up the augments of both sides before giving my own opinion?
Or I can actually skip that and go straight to my opinion?

[Simon]

Hi Ingrid,

Don't worry too much about the conclusion. Just repeat your overall opinion.

[Ingrid]

Thanks again Simon.

[kuljinder]

hi simon
is it possible to take both side in essay

[Simon]

Yes. Just make your opinion clear in the introduction. If you 'partly agree', you can talk about both sides.

[Liu zx]

Hi Simon,
I am a little confused about this essay. In the third paragraph, you mention that "difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting","greater sense", but in the conclusion, you said "difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable". So would you say that difficult hobbies are better? Is it more logistic?
Besides, my teacher tells me in some topics, such as discuss the advantages or disadvantages and so on, I should always give the solutions or the suggetions in the last paragraph. Because in this case, I can get a higher score. Is it right?
Thank you!

[linlin]

Hi Simon,
I am a student from China, I have done an ielts test recently and my result is listening7.5, reading8, writing5.5, speaking 6. I feel so disappointed with my writing. I tried hard to find a good way to learn how to write which is suitable for me but have no good luck. When I read your essay, I am kind of shocked because you didn't use many fancy and shining words at all to furnish it. I believe this is the most appropriate style that I am looking for. Now my difficulty is that maybe I can come up with similar idea as you did, but how can I express it in a native speaker's way? Thanks for your time!