IELTS Writing Task 2: 'technology' essay

Several people have asked me about this question from Cambridge IELTS 8. I wrote the essay below with the help of some of my students. A few simple linking features are highlighted.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people. Technology has affected relationships in various ways, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.

Technology has had an impact on relationships in business, education and social life. Firstly, telephones and the Internet allow business people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other. Secondly, services like Skype create new possibilities for relationships between students and teachers. For example, a student can now take video lessons with a teacher in a different city or country. Finally, many people use social networks, like Facebook, to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they interact through their computers rather than face to face.

On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interactions by email, phone or video are almost as good as face-to-face meetings, and many of us benefit from these interactions, either in work or social contexts. On the other hand, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in the real world, and these ‘virtual’ relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships.

In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.

(257 words, band 9)

Comments

[Pam]

I'm gonna take ielts test next week and your website is really help me practice the test. Thanks for everything. Love you Simon!

[Tony]

Hi, Simon, I think we should use MIX instead of MIXING in this sentence: many young people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in the real world

I know you no longer reply our questions, hopefully you can answer in another way

[Adel Ansari]

Hi.
Which is correct?

-It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people.
-It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication among people.

I have read somewhere: Use "between" for two items. Use "among" for more than two.

[Simon]

Hi Tony,

Both are fine (and it won't change the score), but I agree that it might be 'neater' to use "mix" because I used "make". Well noticed.

...

Adel, both are correct.

[reema]

HI Simon can we used (vehicle travel) as a synonyms for word (car usage).

thanks

[Adel Ansari]

Thank you Mr. Simon for answering my question.
Your Web site is fantastic.

[Mh]

Hi Simon,

Why did you write twice "On the other hand"?
and why you didn't write on the one hand and then "on the other hand"

Best regards,

[Nosirkhan]

Mh,
Mr.Simon wrote "on the one hand" first and then "on the other hand")look thoroughly...
and be more attentive!!!)

[Huyen]

Hi Simon,
Thank you for ur tips and advice, they are really helpful for study.
By the way I just wonder about spelling mistakes in writing IELTS test. If I use American spellings instead of British spellings like : "labor" for "labour", "center" for "centre", etc.. would this affect my score, I mean whether my essay will be marked down or not??
best regards,

[Mh]

Hi Nosirkhan,

Sorry.Yes I made a mistake .Thanks

[Nafiseh]

Hi dear Simon,
I do not understand why we used "on the other hand, in the beginning of the third paragraph? then again " on the other hand" in the following paragraph while both paragraphs talk about the same things (advantagesof technology no different ideas).
Therefore,I would be grateful if you could explain this please,because it seems to me very complicated and i could not understand.
Thanks

[Nafiseh]

Sorry,I mean why "( on the other hand)"? in the beginning of the third paragraph? while the ragraph before ( second paragraph)is also taking the same things(advantages).Thanks

[Nafiseh]

Hi dear Simon,
I have looked at it again and I appologise for my mistake,it is "(on the one hand not on the other hand twice)" .Sorry about that.

[hanashahi]

Hi Simon,

According your sample essay, I recognize that the structure of the essay organized in 2 parts; the first part is answer the question "new technology achievements affect in what ways", the second part is answer the question "they make positive or negative". Your organization is match to the the arrange of the question.

My question is
"Is it wrong if I organize the essay in 2 parts, one for positive effects, one for negative effects and explain more detail in which way they impact on each part"

I hope that I can get your idea. Thanks

[ann]

Dear Simon,
I have read your essay and I realize a very clear organization. Sometimes, I find difficulties in finding and arranging the ideas in the essay. Could you give me some advice or suggests?
Thanks.

[leila]

Hi Simon plz tell me can i write body 2 like first second finally as in body 1..will it be considered as right plan?

[Tim]

Hi Simon,

It's a great essay. I just wonder a bit when I read your first sentence of the opening part: "It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people". As far as I know, 'between' is used when we talk about 2 people or objects whereas, from my understanding, you are mentioning about more than 2, meaning that 'among' should be used instead.

Please correct me if I am wrong somewhere.

Thanks.

[Simon]

Hi Tim,

It's common to use 'between' when talking about more than 2 people. Your rule is only for physical positions (e.g. she is sitting between her mother and her father). "Communication between people" is a very normal phrase in English.

[Richard Ma]

Hi Simon,

I think it is really easy for me to structure a paragraph using the connectors such as 'firstly, secondly, thirdly (finally)' which you suggested in your ebook. However, sometimes, in first main paragraph, I already used these connectors, but in second main paragraph, I still want to express my ideas, solutions, or negatives(positives) in such a style, is that OK to reuse these connectors ("firstly, secondly, thirdly")? or can you please suggest some alternatives?

Thanks in advance!
Richard

[Simon]

Hi Richard,

Have a look at question 2 here:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2012/03/students-questions.html

Also, there are some alternatives in my "essay templates" attachment (that I sent with the ebook).

[tiady]

Hi Simon,

My writing teacher tell me that in the first paragraph I should post a classic background relating to the topic.
For example, if the exam topic involves education we should emphasize its importance with a very long and complex sentence.
Do you think it is advisable?

[Domenico]

Hi Simon,

I know that you don't offer essay correction on this website. From a general point of view, could you tell me what you think about it?
Also, I would be really grateful to people who could give me their opinion on this essay:

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

It cannot be denied that today technology exerts a strong influence on human relationships. While I accept that it has revolutionised the way people communicate with each other, I do not believe that the effects it has on communication are beneficial.

On the one hand, the use of some recent electronic devices allows people to interact with each other more often than they could in the past. For example, the possibility of connecting to the Internet from any laptop or mobile phone enables users to maintain close relations with their friends and enlarge their circle of acquaintances. In addition to that, Internet can cover long distances and thus persuade them that friends are closer than they really are. In my experience, even though I live miles away from my family and some of my best friends, I can speak to them as often as I did when I lived in their same city.

On the other hand, the impact that technological progress has on people’s relationships is not positive. Firstly, if it is true that social networks can remove geographic barriers, it is equally true that they may give rise to a sense of isolation and loneliness in those who use them. The impression to live close to a person who is physically distant may persuade us that chatting on Facebook or Messenger may be the best alternative to a pleasant meeting or a tasty dinner in a restaurant. Secondly, relationships have become more superficial. People tend to create virtual friendships and reveal their secrets to “friends” they have never met. Finally, making use of symbols to express feelings may lead to a lack of spontaneity in human relationships and a gradual impoverishment of language.

In conclusion, technology has certainly marked a turning point in the way people communicate, but the effects it has on the relationships they establish are detrimental.

[mstaysi]

So lucky I found this website! Please pray for me and wish me luck. I'll be sitting the exam on 31st March. Thank you loads Simon

[Faisal]

I got a 7.5 overall band with 6.5 in writing. Comparing my writing to this one, all I have to say keep it simple and structurally organized. No need to use high end words.

[Simon]

Well done Faisal!

[hussain]

why hv u written" on the other hand"in 3rd paragraph?

[Simon]

Hi Hussain,

Because I started the paragraph with "On the one hand". The same paragraph contains both positives and negatives.

[Lily]

Hey Simon,

Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams.

In the sentence, the word should be "write" rather than "written", right?

Lily

[Simon]

Hi Lily,

"written letters" means "letters that are written by hand". It's correct.

[Bac]

Hi Simon!
I think that you should use "limited to write" instead of "limited to written" in the sentene below:
Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams

[Simon]

Hi Bac,

"written" is correct because I'm using it as an adjective: "written letters" = letters that are written (by hand).

[sajal]

Try best man.

[kuljinder]

sir,is it possible that we can write both sides in essay in exam? by doing this i don't lose the band?

[rahman]

answer written by domenico is far better than simon's writing,as i have got band 8 in writing,i can say,examiners these days like complex words,rich in vocabulary with clear arguments.In block method one can use both sides of arguments,does not hamper ur band, provided u have clear orientation in writing.

[Sophiya Aryal]

While I was writing this task...my mind went blank...I didn't have get ideas...bt when i saw your essay i got lots of things...Thank you Simon..

[traxanh]

Hi Simon,
I'm lucky to know your website with a lot of useful lessons. Thank you so much!
I just wonder why you mentioned both sides in the second question of this task" How this been a positive or negative development?". As I remmember, the lesson you gave on Wednesday, October 05, 2011, you advised us not to need to mention the other side of the argument to the question " Is this a positive or negative development?". Your support is of great importance to me. Thanks.

[ceyhun]

hi simon
i want to know how did you achieve this success? i mean 9 point from the ielts?

[bedo]

thanks about this eassey

[Anuly]

This Question was asked in Nigeria,March exams 2013.Sport is a big business and has made sport professionals rich.Companies has invested financially and in other ways.What positive and negative developments does it have in sports.What is your opinion.How can one go about this question.Thanks

[Me]

To understand the difference between 'between' and 'among' watch this video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnJJqfu6i8U