IELTS Writing Task 2: short introductions

It's a good idea to practise writing short, fast introductions. If you can write the introduction quickly, you will have more time to focus on the main paragraphs - these are the key to a high score.

Here's a question that someone asked me about:

In many cities, security measures, such as the use of video cameras in public places, are being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom.
Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

Here's my short, fast introduction:

It is true that the security in many cities has been tightened in recent years. Although I agree that some security measures can feel restrictive, I believe that there are more benefits than drawbacks.

Note:
- In reality, it might not be true that security has been increased in most cities, but I think we have to accept this in order to answer the question.
- The question gives us an example of increased security (video cameras), so we can definitely use that example in a paragraph about the drawbacks.
- Notice that my introduction paraphrases the question. I've used some of the words from the question, but there are some nice changes too (e.g. tightened, feel restrictive).

Comments

[Kai]

Thanks. Awesome, as usual!

[Dmitry]

Is it good to write "I agree" and "I belive" if there is no mention about your own opinion in the question?

[NG]

Hi simon !
i just wanted to know that can we use abbreviations , like here can we use CCTV ??

[Adil]

Hi Simon, should we use our opinion in introduction?

[Dana]

Hello Simon recently, I have encountered an essay about advantages and disadvantages of democratic education.

[Ed]

Hi Simon,

How can "security measures" feel restrictive?

Is it safer to say something as below?

some security measures can be restrictive

[Simon]

Thanks Kai.

...

Hi Dmitry,

No, you should only do what the question asks you to do. If it doesn't ask for your opinion, don't give it.

...

Hi NG,

Yes, some abbreviations (like CCTV for this essay) are fine.

...

Hi Adil,

Yes, don't save your opinion for later. Give it in the introduction, then support it in the rest of the essay.

...

Hi Dana,

Can you give us the full question?

...

Hi Ed,

It's normal to use 'feel' in that way in English. Video cameras in public places, for example, can make people 'feel' that their freedom is restricted or that they have less privacy. 'Feel' in this sense means 'seem' - so, the measures 'seem' restrictive to some people.

[ZZ]

Hi, Simon

its my intro, i dont know if i can put ' more' in front of equipment and technology, and i already bought your book and am trying to using your method. I think the ideas are great. thanks

It is true that few security measures may result in the increase crime rate. Although using more security equipment and technology can be helpful to reduce crime, I disagree that its advantages prevail over disadvantages.

[Thip]

Are we rewrite the main idea and make it short? I always write too long introduction I dont know why, it is hard for me to make it short.

[UT]

Hi Simon,

Here is my introduction and i would like to ask you 2 question from this:
In recent day, more and more societies have security measures to protect their citizens. However, while some people think this project makes them uncomfortable, I totally believe advantages about this issue are more important than disadvantages.

Firstly, could i use "the project" in term of referring to security measures?
Secondly,is "advantages about this issue are more important" a right idea?

Thank you in advance.
Best regards,

[Alex]

Dear Simon,
In Cambridge IE 1 , writing task 2 I got this :Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
following topic:
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need
music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the
International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
I intend to divide this essay into 3 parts : 1 for reason why we need music ; others for national and international music . Is that well-organized ?Would you show me another possible way ?
Thanks in advance

[Sunny]

Hi,Simon
In your introduction, you wrote like this'Although I agree that some security measures can feel restrictive...'. I just think security measures are not people, how can they feel? I change your sentence into this one' I agree that some security measures can make people feel restrictive...'. Do you think my sentence is correct? if not, can you explain to me?
Thank you very much!

[Dmitry]

Hi, Simon.
Thank you for your answer, but it's still not clear for me about your own opinion.
You said that we shouldn't give our opinion if there's no demand about it in the task, but there is nothing about your own opinion in example question that you give, but you wrote "I agree" "I belive".
Thank you.

[Mh]

Hi dmitry

When you asked that Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks it means that you should put your opinion in your essay . You can click on this link for better explanation

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/10/ielts-writing-task-2-when-to-give-your-opinion.htm
sorry Simon if intruded into this matter

[Simon]

Hi ZZ,

Your use of 'more' is fine. I'm glad you like the ebook! Keep following the advice and using the ideas.

...

Hi Thip,

Yes, have a look through all of my task 2 lessons. You will find several lessons about writing short introductions.

...

Hi UT,

'Project' is fine, but you could miss that word and just write 'think this makes...'

'Important' is also ok, but I might write 'the advantages...are more significant'

...

Hi Alex,

Personally, I would consider that to be a "2-part question" because there are 2 separate questions. I would write one main paragraph answering each question. The second question asks you to decide which type of music is more important - it doesn't ask you to discuss both types separately.

...

Hi Sunny,

It might seem strange, but 'feel' is often used in the way I used it. For example, we say "exercise feels good". Of course, this means "exercise makes people feel good", but both ways are correct English. Your sentence is fine too.

...

Hi Dmitry,

Mh answered your question well (see the comment below yours). You should definitely read the link that Mh gave you.

Remember: If I say "Do fast food restaurants make good food?" I'm asking for YOUR opinion. The question "Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?" is also asking for YOUR opinion. The question doesn't need to include the word "you" in order to ask for your opinion.

[Bart]

Hi,I am not sure how to plan a 4-paragraph essay if the question is like: Today foods travel thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend? (personally, i think this is a positive trend, do i need to mention the negative side of this issue?

[TheIELTSSolution]

Hi,

This is really great! Incredibly awesome, as usual. TheIELTSSolution.com

Thank you.

[Dmitry]

Thank you very much!

[Simon]

Hi Bart,

Just write one main paragraph explaining "why is this?" and one paragraph explaining your opinion (you think it's a positive trend). It doesn't ask you to explain both views, so you don't need to give the negatives.

[Bart]

Hi, Thanks and Merry Christmas. Now, I have two plans for this essay:paragraph 1: introduction;paragraph 2:reasons
paragraph 3: my view: paragraph 4: conclusion. /paragraph 1: introduction; paragraph 2: reason one; paragraph 3: reason two; paragraph 4: my view. (personally i prefer the seconde one, since i do not think the conclusion here is necessary.what is your opinion?)

[siya]

hiii

i want to know that if in essay of agree and disagree we can write 3 body paragraphs 1 for disagree and another for agree.last conclusion would be in favour of agree side to expree our point of view.

[Bart]

Oh, my plan is for this topic: Today foods travel thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend? (my plan: paragraph 1: introduction; paragraph 2: reason one; paragraph 3: reason two; paragraph 4: my view. )is it acceptable? what is your advice?

[simar]

hello simon!

I practising writing task 2 the topic was..."choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved."

I wrote it but I also had access to the solution in which all the paragraphs were written about saving the resource but in my essay I managed to write 4 paras 1st para introduction 2nd why water is diappering 3rd why we need to save water and last conclusion. So I am confused with the topic does the topic says that I only need to write about the need of saving a resource?

[Simon]

Hi Bart,

I prefer the first one. With the second one, there's a danger that you will write too much about 'reasons' and not enough about 'your view'. Also, it's always good to have a short conclusion.

...

Hi Siya,

No, that's more like a 'discussion' structure than an 'opinion/argument' structure. For agree/disagree essays, it's best to give your opinion in the introduction, then support it in both main paragraphs. Look through my task 2 lessons to learn more about this.

...

Hi Simar,

Strictly speaking, the question doesn't ask you to explain why it is disappearing - it only asks why it needs to be saved. However, your way of doing it wouldn't be wrong.

[josh]

hi simon

for this essay my plan is to write how these security measures make people feel restrictive in 2nd paragraph after intro and then write mention the benefits that is how it helps prevent the crime.
can i also mention about how it can help to identify the terrorist activity, along with its use as evidence for the purpose of judicial decision making?

thanks josh

[siya]

Hi Simon
thanks for replay and i have few more questions regarding task 2.its important to finish both tasks 5 mins before to make sure about spelling mistakes,i mean after writing task 1 and 2 we have to read both tasks because both tasks i can not complete in time in real exam.I practise at home and i am able to complete home in time but not in exam.
always have to maintain structure of 4 paragraphs in any topic of essay.
i usally changing structure of writting according essay such as in casue and effect i am wrirting 2 points for causes and 2 points of effects while in case of description+argument i again write 2 points for reasons and 2 points for my side.

please let me know simple and right stucture of essay and can i use I in introduction to express my own point of view.

[Simon]

Hi Josh,

Yes, those ideas and that structure are good.

...

Hi Siya,

It depends how bad your spelling is. If you tend to make lots of mistakes, maybe you need more checking time, but if you don't make many mistakes you don't need to worry so much about checking.

Personally, I always write 2 main paragraphs because I think this is a good way to do it. Have a look through all of my task 2 lessons to see more examples. Also, look at the lessons I've done about introductions, and try to copy that style.

[josh]

security is of prime importance in today's world. we can observe that there is increasing trend of using video cameras as security measure in many cities around the world. i agree that these measures do make people feel that their freedom is compromised, but in my opinion there are more advantages than disadvantages.

[josh]

hello simon
is my above introduction clear enough to answer the question? or is it vague,should i be more straight forward to answer the question

[siya]

Thanks a lot for your replay.sometime i am forgetting to write to or the in my continuation of paragraph so for that i have to spend few mins rite?
In essay i can use word such as we ,i becoz you use most of the time I in your essay stucture for introduction but what about examples?we can use we. our.
Thanks

[Simon]

Hi Josh,

You've got the right idea, but make sure you start sentences with capital letters.

...

Hi Siya,

Yes, try to spend a couple of minutes checking if you often make grammar mistakes.

When the question asks for YOUR opinion (e.g. do you agree or disagree?), you need to answer with "I". You probably won't use "we".

[siya]

Thanks a lot Simon

[SouL]

Hi simon,
My teacher taught me to include thesis statement in intro and topic point in every body paragraph. So, does it really matter? Is it more clear and organized ?

[Simon]

Hi Soul,

That's fine. Personally, I don't think you need a thesis statement, but it's definitely not a bad idea to write one. Topic sentences in main paragraphs are a good idea.

[elaheh]

Dear Simon,
I'd like to know what your idea is about this introduction, is it suitable for this topic or not:
Some people believe that video cameras in public places not only could not go down the amount of crimes but also eliminate their social freedom. But I do agree with putting video camera in public place because of reduction of general offenses and increasing public safety.

[Simon]

Hi Elaheh,

Yes, it's suitable. You've got the right idea.

[nadeem]

hi simon ,plz tel me how am i gonna see a complete essay about both types of music where can i find in ur site or any other site ,and how can i publish my essays on this site ,i will be rather thankful for your response ,regards.

[Simon]

Hi Nadeem,

Can you share the full question that you are worried about?

I'm afraid I don't correct essays or give feedback on them. Read this about essay correction:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/10/essay-correction.html

[elaheh]

Dear Simon,
Thanks a lot for your response and useful website.
I have been learning English language properly through your teachings.
Best wishes,
Elaheh

[Selim]

Hi Simon,

In recent years, crime has increased all over the world. Therefore, it is certainly true that security cameras are good way to reduce crime. However, although security cameras lead to some privacy problem, I think there are more advantages more than disadvantages.

This is my intro what do you think?

[Simon]

That's fine Selim.

[dave]

hi simon, why did you use "has" in your intro:
It is true that the security in many cities has been tightened in recent years,
i thought it should have been "have" instead of has because "cities"is plural ??

[Simon]

Hi Dave,

'has' goes with the word 'security' (security has been...) - this is the subject of the sentence, not 'cities'.

[John Crisostomo]

Hi Simon,

Can you check my essay:

Increased crime rate and threats of terrorism has prompted large cities to tighten their security. The added measures include the installation of video cameras in public places. Authorities say that these measures are necessary for the protection and welfare of the people, however, some have said that these measures are invasion of one's privacy and generally are not effective in reducing crime.

The major benefit of these increased security measures is the reduction of crime rate. Using video cameras, it will be easier to catch criminals because the police can see the crime as it happens. It is also easier to convict the criminals because the police will have a record of the crime and submit it as evidence to the court. Therefore, criminals will think twice before doing anything illegal because of the notion that they will be easily caught. London has the highest concentration of surveillance cameras in the world and has reported a low crime rate. This encourages other cities to take a similar approach.

Although proven beneficial, it also has some drawbacks. For one, it violates one's privacy. Everyone will have the feeling of the presence of a 'big brother' or the feeling of being watched all the time. This consciousness creates fear in the people's mind and restrict their actions to a minimal. Everyone will have this reaction even for the good people. Even kissing your loved one in public will feel wrong because you feel that others are watching and recording your actions. Secondly, it is not the long-term solution to the crime problem. Criminals will just find another way to bypass these security measures. For example, criminals can wear masks to avoid being identified or just destroy the cameras.

It has been shown that the added security measures have more disadvantages than the advantages. The government should address the root cause of the high crime rate which is unemployment and poverty.

[Simon]

Hi John,

You seem to have the right idea, but I'm afraid I don't offer essay correction or scoring. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays.

If you would like someone to check your essay and score it, read this:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/10/essay-correction.html

[John Crisostomo]

ok thanks

[Angela Fanning]

Hi Simon,
i have a question about writing task 1:
how do you write about numbers? sometimes i see "9" instead of nine, or sixty per cent instead of 60%. i'm taking the IELTS test soon. what is the formal way to write them? is there a rule to it? thanks

[Simon]

Hi Angela,

I always write the figure (e.g. 6%) in task 1. It seems a bit strange if you write words when describing a graph, chart etc.

[Angela Fanning]

Dear Simon,
thanks a lot for your quick reply:)
i wrote an essay about computer technology, and realised i had ocassionally separated the words into "technology and computers" or just "technology".i don't know if thats ok and i would like to know if there are any alternate vocab.
thanks again.

[Simon]

Hi Angela,

That's fine. Don't worry about it.

[Jack]

Hi Simon,
The given topic says that security measures feel restrictive as "the drawback", while the question asks whether the advantages outweight disadvantages.
Can I use other drawbacks such as the considerable cost of installing video camera to discuss the topic?
Or I can only discuss the restrictive-drawback?