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Saturday, November 26, 2011

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I firmly agree with you.Thank you for making this important advice too precise and easy to understand. I believe all aspirants of IELTS will get benefit from it.

hi simon,

i am from india

here,for essay, many friends ask me to write 3 sentences in introduction(including 2 general statements+thesis+your opinion),and 3 sentences in summary(restating thesis+summarising written data+future possiblity statement).

but, being a regular follower of your site,i am rather comfortable with your way of writing.

so, the comment is that short introduction+conclusions will not give you band7 in task2.

i have just 6 days left for my test ,and is really confused about this comments.

pls help..

Hi Simon,
I think it is great when you show us your sample essays as well as speaking answers. I hope you will post more of them so that I can see how to apply your writing techniques mentioned in your previous lessons.

hi simon
yesterday,i wrote an essay for task1 i followed your advice.it took short time , it was easy to read and undrestand it and i used all data of the table. but when i read the example essay on Essential ILETS book,i was disappointed .it was totally different.it was a complacated essay.i dot know ,how i could know that which way is fine.becase that essay didnt follow the introdaction,sumarray and paragraphs' pattern.it was written all in one paragraph.

Hi Simon

I think most candidates who are likely started learning English from advanced level and did not care about basic rules , and also they are dealing too much with difficult Cambridge READING , want to apply those vocabularies and complex grammar in their essay, then I think it appears awkward as we are probably not at such level of writing . I think we forgot that Language is a means to communicate effectively not for showing off and using pompous words .

Thank you Simon for remeber us that simple rule and put us in right direction

Hi Simon,
I am Maia from New Zealand. I appeared ielts exam yesterday 26 of November. Task 2 question was really tough so i want to share question here.

economic growth all over the world is increasing and the number of rich people are increasing in both developed and developing countries. while study shows rich people in developing countries are happier than in developed countries. what do you think reason behind this and what lesson can be learnt from this?

hi simon,

please give me advice about the inclusion of striking point\highlight of the graph\table\linegraph,which is also an important aspect of task1 writing,as taught by many tutors here,in my place.

looking for your words..

Hi Simon
I you could please answer some of my questions. I have some questions related to the use of million and USA in this paragraph that is written by international IELTS teacher:
1)In the following year apparel expenses of both Japan and USA grew even bigger to 12 and 10 Millions respectively.
and
This picture has 12 million pixels; 5 millions of them are black.
My question is it alright to use USA alone without the, and Millions instead of Million after a number.
2)The word "spent" could be a noun as in the sentence: The total spent for...
3)Could we use cloth to vary our writing insted of apparel
Thanks

Thanks Pretty!

...

Hi Rajeesh,

Believe me - main body paragraphs are the key to a high score. Long introductions and conclusions are just wasted words.

About highlighting the main points, I recommend this too. First you need to summarise the main points, then you need to select key details. Have a look through all of my writing task 1 lessons - there are many examples of summarising and selecting main points.

...

Thanks Oanh!

...

Hi Sabah,

Don't let sample essays that you see in books worry you. There are many ways to write a good essay. I'm sure yours is fine.

One thing that is definitely wrong is writing the whole essay as one paragraph - don't do that!

...

Hi Mh,

I couldn't agree more! Thanks for making a great point.

...

Hi Maia,

Thanks for sharing your question. Best of luck!

...

Hi Hassan,

Those sentences contain several mistakes! I think a student wrote them.

You need to write "the USA".
"10 millions" is wrong.
You could use "clothing".

Hi Simon
Thank you for the correction you did with respect to my questions.
This pargraph was taken from the "Target band 7" book by Simone Braverman page 38.
Now I think that who will follow his method of writing and tips will target band 3 and not 7.
Thank you

No problem Hassan.

thanks simon

Hi Simon,

Great points!

I always tell students that using memorized phrases can in fact make sentences/paragraphs/essays look very awkward most of the time. Also, examiners are experienced enough to easily tell when students are trying "too hard".

Although I am also trying to make students understand about these points, there are (unfortunately) still lots of students who are reluctant to believe that "difficult words/expressions" are NOT necessary to get a high score. Instead, they would waste so much time memorizing those "beautiful vocabularies" and they tend to forget about the importance of being able to speak and write in a natural way.

Best,
Martin

Hi Martin,

It's not easy to get the message across to everyone, and it does frustrate me at times. However, it's encouraging to see that many students ARE 'converting' to our approach!

Hi Mr, Simon
First of all, thanks for your excellent website.
Second, I need some pices of youre advice.
I hade an essay and in that essay i hade 2 or 3 spelling mistake but i think my essay was so good. I also wrote "..., etc" in my essay. Examiner gave me bound 5.5.He told me "etc" is an informal word and if I write whithout any spelling mistake and informal word, IELTS examiner will give me 6 at first and then scruting collocations and phrases and so give me 7 or more.
I was wondring if youd mind clearly explaining how IELTS examiner dedicate scores.

Hi Hassan,

It's too complicated to explain in detail, but the basic scoring system is that you get 4 marks for each essay:

1. Task response - how well do you answer the question?
2. Coherence - are the ideas organised in a logical way?
3. Vocabulary - do you use a range of words and phrases to express your ideas? (words/phrases related to the topic, not linking words)
4. Grammatical accuracy - mistakes and range of sentence structures.

It's not really true that you get a 6 if there are no spelling mistakes - it's more complicated than that because the examiner considers all kinds of grammar and vocabulary mistakes, not just spelling.

Hi Simon,

I was thinking that maybe you could include some info on the basic scoring system for each module under the "About the exam" section. I guess this would be useful for students who are seeking explanation about their scores and hopefully try to improve once they identify their weaknesses. Just an idea.

Cheers,
Martin

Thanks Martin. Yes, it's something I've been meaning to do.

hello Simon.
First of all, i've been following your website for three days and it's really impressive. Thanks for your great effort.
Secondly, i would like to ask you a question about proficiency exams.
Which one is more easy to achieve, IELTS-6.5 or FCE-C ?
By the way, i'm an upper-int level student and i have 3 months.

Take care.

Hi Rasim,

I think I answered your email. I'm afraid I don't know enough about FCE to be able to compare. Sorry. I'm glad you like the site though!

Hi Simon,
Your blog is simply great, I learnt a lot in few days by just reading the blog and your ebook.
Your suggestions are valuable.
I will appreciate it if you could suggest a strategy to improve my writing.
I learnt English informal way, some basic grammer I learnt in school (20 years back), but after that moved to english speaking countries. My english improved from talking to native seakers, watching movies/tele, talking to my son in english and ofcourse, mainly from reading a lot (reading is my hobby). But now I took IELTS three times and I got around 8 (7.5-8.5) in other componants including reading (7, 8, 8). However, I got below 7 band every time(6.5, 6 and even 5.5 once) in writing and I need band 7 in each. All this is before I came to learn about this blog.

In addition to the other suggestion I really like your advise, to be cosistant in plan, which I guess will save me lot of time.

Another thing is that reading your blog and analysing my writing I got the impression that I am not good at using articles and prepositions.

Do you think keep on practicing writing, checked by english teacher and learning from mistake is best method to imorve my writing or you suggest to enrol in a basic english course?

Thanks in advance.

These might help many mature age learners like me in similar situations.

Hi Kai,

I don't think you need to go to an English course. You are already doing the right things, and I think the best idea is to do what you said: "keep on practising writing, get it checked by an English teacher, and learn from mistakes".

If you follow the essay-writing advice here on the site, I'm sure you'll get a better score next time. Getting a (private) teacher to check your essays is a really good idea.

Thanks Simon.

Hi Simon
Happy New year!
I have really found your website as well as your ebook extremely useful! I took my IELTS exam in December 2011. I got an overall score of 8 and an individual score of the following: Listening 8, Speaking 8.5, Reading 8.5 and in Writing 7.5.
In spite of this, I am resitting the test on 7th January, as I require an 8 in the writing section as well. I realized that my main issue in the writing task was that I took nearly 40 minutes to answer task 1! So any advice for Saturday?

Hi Anjali,

After reading your last sentence, it's easy to give advice: don't spend 40 minutes on task 1! Task 2 is worth two thirds of your writing score.

Don't study anything new for Saturday; just review what you've already done. Good luck!

hi simon
in my last exam i got 7 L,8 R,5.5 W and 6.5 S
today i got result of my 17th dec which is 7 L,6.5R,6 W and 6.5 S
in last exam in writing i followed your formate of writing which is useful for me.
Honestly i want to tell you that i was always getting 6.5 in writing without following specific stucture but when i started to follow proper stucture from books and online after that i am reciving 6 and 5.5 why?
I have to submit my result of 7 each in all module by march and i too much tensed.
please give answer of this that how many hours i should spend for each module?is pressue on the day of exam to get 7 cause touble?

thanks a lot

Hi Siya,

The structure you are using (if you are following my advice and the advice from IELTS books) is certainly not wrong, so it isn't losing you any marks.

Maybe you need to stop worrying about structure now - keep following the advice, but don't treat structure as the key to a high score. The next step is to work on IDEAS - essay structure and grammar are useless if you don't have good ideas to answer the question. If you want a high score, you need to develop good arguments and express your ideas and opinions well.

At this stage, it would be a good idea to find someone who can check your essays. I'm sure that structure isn't the problem, and that a good teacher (or a native speaker) will show you that your ideas, vocabulary and accuracy can be improved.

I can't tell you how many hours to spend - just do as much as you can in the time you have, but don't get too stressed! Try to be confident and do your best. Good luck!

Thanks simon.Your help i will follow.I am in Australia and i got some recommendation for online check so should i do that or only follow personal teacher.

Hi Siya,

If you have a private teacher, you shouldn't need to use an online checking service.

hi,simon
i saw this site yesterday,it is very good thanks for providing this information.now iam preparing for ielts,last time i got overall band score 5.5; in w:5.5; r:6; s:5,L:5. do i need to join any basic english course? please give an advise to me.i need 7 band in each module.how should i prepare for that?is one month
time sufficient if i spent daily 6hrs time on preparation?


thakyou simon

hi !!! what i should do to get a band between 6.5 and 8 ? plzz Mr. Simon can u tell me the best way to achieve scores just like that ?

hey sir,
when there are questions like agree or disagree how we need to write them ? can we partially agree or disagree to the question...

Hi Simon
My problem is how to get ideas. Sometimes I see topics that I wouldn't be able to write about even if I was asked to use my mother tongue. This has frustrated me. ihave started to read different topics for Bbc which has topics per category.
Any suggestions?
Thanks a lot
Muhammad

Hi Simon,
I need 7 bands in each module but I could not get it till now even after giving IELTS exam 7 times. Only once I could score 7,7,7 but 6 in reading.
Do you have suggestion for me how to increase my band score in writing and reading ??
Thanks in advance.

I hope you can understand my situation and would help me !!

Regards.

Hi Simon,

I sitting for ielts for the first time and my biggest problem is writing as i left school ages ago writing an essay is just difficult for me. I will be sitting for the exam on 6 April 2013 and am really worried.
My main issue is I dont know what to write. Do you think by go thru the past year papers would give me an idea on what to write for certain topis.

Hi Simon ,

I really need an advises from you my ielts exam is on the 18th of may and its my last chance to study in uk or I should go back in my home country .

Could you please help me on ielts writing part by showing me examples essays.

Thank you so much

Sana

i want to know the simplest and more effective way of getting band score 9 in ielts writting.

Hi Simon,
I've written an essay and I'll be really appreciated if tell me what the band I deserve for it.
the question reads"Computers are now used in all areas of business and education.They are used in hospitals.and they are used to drive trains and fly planes.They are used in many forms of home entertainment .Some people say we rely too heavily on computers,and worry about how far the use of computers will go in the future.What are your views on this topic.
My answer is this:

In today's technological world, computers have became widely-used in plenty of fields such as business, education, health industry in addition to transportation . Actually, since they have been brought into our life, they made it much easier than ever before. Despite the immense amount of advantages that computers have brought to us, there are still those who argue that we are over dependents on them and they hold some concerns about what the future will look like if we still relying on them. As for me, using them in such fields has two opposite sides, useful and harmful as so many things in life .

As for the harmful aspect, using them in some jobs like using them to fly planes and drive trains could lead to disastrous consequences .This because it is highly possible for these to make mistakes that may cost people their lives. A good example can be taken is the horrible accident that occurred in 1996 when two trains crashed on the rail way in Canada. Detectives held a wide investigations to figure out the reason behind the disaster and finally they knew that one of the trains became out of control and the driver had nothing to do to stop it .The result was 154 died and dozens of injured. Therefore, some jobs are preferably to be done mainly by humans instead of computers.

However, no one can deny that they made learning process much easier and world wide since they have came .Owing to they made that process faster. For instance, people used to cross hundreds or even thousands kilometres just to get some knowledge from somewhere. But now it all changed that we can get any piece of information of any type just by click once and thousand of resources will be revealed in front of you and without making any effort. So they massively contribute in education.

To conclude, using computers in different fields has two aspects, black gloomy one and white bright one, too. The gloomy side is that they are used in some jobs that human should do like flying planes and driving trains . As for the bright, computers have made typical transition in education by make it much faster and available for the whole people wherever they are.

hey simon
my exam is in next month nd I need 7 bands in all modules , can u please help me in reading part , how can I improve it.

Hai Simon

Its awesome to learn from your essays but I have one question. Every time when I put up my pen to begin my essay I am always struck about how should I start my essay ?

Can you please help me to solve this issue that I am lacking behind.

hi simon, how do i improve from a band 6 to 7 and above? and how can i write a "free-flowing" essay?

Hi Simon, could you please check my essay? i am struggling to get band 8 in writing. i shall be really grateful, if you could check my work.

"Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion"

Trials on animals in laboratories is an agonising fact, however I oppose the use of animals for experiments, yet I admit that mankind is dependent on animal testing for better medical benefits for current and future generations.

To begin with, I believe that human activities have made the Mother Nature a matter of utter disparages, there are million species on this planet, yet human is considered the superior of all. This is of its intellectual ability to dominate other species for its own benefit. Testing animals in not only morally wrong but it also shows the lack of empathy. Brutal experiments are carried out on animal’s every day for the advancement of medical science. Furthermore, these experiments are often performed without any anaesthesia, which puts the innocent animals into the ultimate agony. They are often forcibly made sick in order to check the effectiveness of the drugs. This is unethical and puts a stigma on human race, therefore should be stopped. Otherwise the day would come, when the paucity of other species will haunt mankind.

On the other side, I admit that currently there is no substitute for animals and if tested on humans, it can create menace to life. Science has saved billions of lives by the advancement in medicines. Yet many are waiting for the new drugs to cure their illness, for instance: Cancer and AIDS. Thus the current society is greatly dependent on animal testing.

After looking at both points, it is foreseeable that animal testing would continue for decades to come until the pragmatic measure to replace them is discovered. Hence I suggest that the use of animals for testing should be limited to improve the public health and preventive medicine only and must be banned in other areas like: clothing/Manchester/accessories businesses

hey Simon
I have gotten 9 bands in both reading and listening(academic).I was abl o manage an 8. in speaking however my writing held me back yet gain as I could achieve only 7 in it.I followed exactly your methodology as far as I think.

Any points that you shall recommend me to emphasize upon?Also any writing book that you could specify to have that 8 in my bucket?

Many thanks
Chahat

1) Could you explaing the difference between "cohesion" and "coherence"? (at level 8)
2) Could you explaing the difference between "frequent error-free sentences" and "the majority of sentences are error-free"? Do that mean 90% or 51%

How to get 9 bands in writing

I don't make any grammar mistake but my ideas are always simple can I get 9 bands in writing and I m a g t candidate

Hi Simon,

Thank you for the quite informative website you made. I have learned a lot so far.

I get one question about the first main paragraph. I think for this paragraph you are trying to demonstrate why we need to help communities and people who are in the same countries. However ,the example you give is more like to demonstrate that how to help people in our own countries or there are variety of ways to help people.

Is that a good example? Thank you for response! Have a nice day!

Hi Simon,
I would like to know what it takes to change an 8 or 8.5 to 9? That is to say, what makes the examiner to decide that a writing deserves 8.5 or 9?
Thanx
Majid

Hi Simon,
I would be happy if you evaluated my essays...
Here is some...

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
In our days, the number of different kinds of music on the upsurge. And, here the question is calmed – “What is more worth-while, International or traditional music”. The straight answer further in this essay.
The key role of music, of course, entertain people, create them occasion to relax, to release tensions. For example, the person, who has lost his loved one and in depression, can console himself by listening to music, the music about love, about loss of nearest person. Moreover, music can also motivate people to do something that is, in first glance, impossible. For instance, if person listens to live music that stimulates him to act, to move, he can do something he never tried or thought he could not do it and was afraid doing it. With the help of music, with motivation he will try and will do it, maybe not, but the point is that he tried, not was frightened. From this it is clear that we all need music in our life cause of the help it gives us.

It can be argued, forever, what is more important traditional or international music. It would be better if look on equally in importance. Traditional music is a means of preserving one’s traditions, customs and culture. The latter is for socializing, getting near, making connections, having something in common. It helps people from two different places communicate, talk about one certain theme as they listen to songs of one certain type or the very song. So that, it cannot be decided which one is more important as both these represent unique advantages that benefit many.
To conclude, I would say that we certainly need music as it is utilized for relaxing, forgetting about problems or inciting people to do something. Traditional or international music, they both have identical importance for humankind, for the world. It would be better not to consider the importance of them, but rather, the benefits that they can give.


Some governments say how many a family can have in their country. They control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The population of the world has been increasing since the dawn of time. Throughout the history, families had children how many they wanted. It is argued that government need to control the number of child in a family. This opinion will be proven by looking at how this control can help to prevent overpopulation as well as maintain the level of consumption of foods in a family.
For one, controlling how many children a family can have, the government will obstruct the overpopulation. For example, in China there are some laws that prohibit families to have more than one baby. Having only one baby will prevent people from outnumbering and I believe that this law helps people to obviate overpopulation. As my example shows, government’s control has a positive effect on a country.
In addition to this, as families have certain number of children, the government permits, it will decrease would-be consumption of would-be children. An instance illustrating this in action is Hindu people, having more than 1 billion people, have a shortage of supplying the needs of a country. By forcing families to have controlled number of baby, of course in a legal way, the governments maintain the amount of necessities they have to supply population of a country.
Following this look at how legislation, about the number of children that family is allowed to have, can prevent overpopulation of one certain nation and the increase in the amount of consumption of family, it has been proven that government’s laws are necessary and it is right for a government to put average number of children for one family. It is predicted that there will be no need for such rules after finding a new place to live in outer space.

Should governments be responsible for providing pure drinking water of all or should the people obtain their own water?

Water is one of the few things in the world which needed for human to survive. But the level of softness of it can affect to people in various extent e.g. dirty water can harm, pure water can heal. To the question whether pure water should be provided by government or not, the answer, brought out, is no, with some exceptions such as desert and under disaster areas.
Generally, modern society has developed far enough not to consider thirst as a threat. There are hundreds of water bottles in shelves of stores everywhere which are sold in cheap prices. And, tap water is clean enough to utilize it to cooking or just drink. Water is one of the cheapest of all home utilities in many countries and almost everywhere available. Therefore, governments are not responsible for supplying people with pure water.
However, though in many countries there is no need for help from government, in areas which under war or some kind of disaster there is great demand for aid. For example, Africa, the country which is full of different kinds of viruses and disasters, should be provided with soft water by government. As there is no clean water supplies , the government is responsible for creating source of water. That is why, it can be given responsibility to governments to supply people with pure water.
In conclusion, the government is not responsible for availability of drinkable water in most cases, with exception places which under disaster or war. It will be useful if government create chances to provide themselves with water by diminishing the amount and the level of disasters in that area.


273 words


Do you think is it wrong for people to drink and then drive. Do you think they should be punished.

It is sad but fact that the number of road accidents is in upsurge line. One of the reasons of this phenomenon is drunk driving. That is definitely wrong and not just should but must be punished.
First of all, it is wrong because it can end up with death. Drunk people, when they driving have no clear mind and they are unable to notice if any living being is crossing road and can bump him. Causing a death or, in lucky case, some injuries they bring anxieties both themselves and the others and, of course, this occurrence cause damages, both physically and morally. Thus the guilty should be punished in order to prevent next would-be accidents.
Furthermore, behind causing the death or serious damage to the person, it will yield fiscal problems to family of that person. For example, if he dies in this crash, his family lose one source of monetary income or if he is in hospital, it requires an investment to his recovery. As a result, it will cost them a lot, causing to his family financial burden. Therefore, drunk drivers should be punished by fining them to compensate the hurt person’s family.
In conclusion, it would be said that driving after drinking is completely wrong as it cause many afterwards problems. And punishment should be put towards drunk drivers. To increase the effectiveness of these punishments, the government should be stricter and taxing large amounts of money or mandatory jail sentences to those who reoffend.

251 words


Hi Simon,
I would like you to check my essay and give a band.
Thanks in advance...
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both sides of the statement.

There are some people who encourage children’s competition while others think that children should co-operate with each other. There are advantages and disadvantages for both point of view.

To begin with, children could develop themselves as they compete with their classmates to win. It is common now, to have a tutor which can teach children individually and give them good enlightenment, namely more than they get at school. Nowadays, every pupil at school and student at lyceum or college wants to enroll to the university, thus children in our country strive to achieve this aim from their school-days. Furthermore, having a tertiary education is useful to become a part of the society, to a well-versed applicant to obtain a good job.
On the other hand, as they are excellence and busy to enter to the university and study individually with their own teachers there are odds. They become selfish. They do not help other students. But it is very important to get along with others. Because there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. Co-operating is to improve these parts. Talking with other students can help them learn a lot of things. That could also be a great opportunity to learn with their peers instead of learning alone with tutor.

In the nutshell, I strongly agree with that, children should co-operate rather than compete. In our world, nobody is perfect. People study together, work together to improve each other. Therefore, I think that parents and teachers should educate children to co-operate, not to compete.

Hi Simon,
I would like you to check my essay and give a band.
Thanks in advance...

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both sides of the statement.

There are some people who encourage children’s competition while others think that children should co-operate with each other. There are advantages and disadvantages for both point of view.

To begin with, children could develop themselves as they compete with their classmates to win. It is common now, to have a tutor which can teach children individually and give them good enlightenment, namely more than they get at school.Nowadays, every pupil at school and student at lyceum or college wants to enroll to the university, thus children in our country strive to achieve this aim from their school-days. Furthermore, having a tertiary education is useful to become a part of the society, to a well-versed applicant to obtain a good job.

On the other hand, as they are excellence and busy to enter to the university and study individually with their own teachers there are odds. They become selfish. They do not help other students. But it is very important to get along with others. Because there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. Co-operating is to improve these parts. Talking with other students can help them learn a lot of things. That could also be a great opportunity to learn with their peers instead of learning alone with tutor.

In the nutshell, I strongly agree with that, children should co-operate rather than compete. In our world, nobody is perfect. People study together, work together to improve each other. Therefore, I think that parents and teachers should educate children to co-operate, not to compete.

Can you also check this essay ...
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

In our days, the number of different kinds of music on the upsurge. And, here the question is calmed – “What is more worth-while, International or traditional music”. The straight answer further in this essay.

The key role of music, of course, entertain people, create them occasion to relax, to release tensions. For example, the person, who has lost his loved one and in depression, can console himself by listening to music, the music about love, about loss of nearest person. Moreover, music can also motivate people to do something that is, in first glance, impossible. For instance, if person listens to live music that stimulates him to act, to move, he can do something he never tried or thought he could not do it and was afraid doing it. With the help of music, with motivation he will try and will do it, maybe not, but the point is that he tried, not was frightened. From this it is clear that we all need music in our life cause of the help it gives us.

It can be argued, forever, what is more important traditional or international music. It would be better if look on equally in importance. Traditional music is a means of preserving one’s traditions, customs and culture. The latter is for socializing, getting near, making connections, having something in common. It helps people from two different places communicate, talk about one certain theme as they listen to songs of one certain type or the very song. So that, it cannot be decided which one is more important as both these represent unique advantages that benefit many.

To conclude, I would say that we certainly need music as it is utilized for relaxing, forgetting about problems or inciting people to do something. Traditional or international music, they both have identical importance for humankind, for the world. It would be better not to consider the importance of them, but rather, the benefits that they can give.

Hi Bekhruz,

I'm afraid I don't check essays that people post here on the blog. I would receive too many if I did.

For more help, read this:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/10/essay-correction.html

Thanks ...

I am NIVETHA from INDIA .Am looking forward to immigrate to Australia sooner and that's the reason am taking IELTs test.So its obvious that i need a very high band score .Though I consistently score well in Listening,Reading and Writing,I feel very down about my writing and therefore I need your help for this .

Can you please evaluate the following essay and give approximate band score for it .

USING COMPUTE EVERYDAY CAN HAVE MORE NEGATIVE THAN POSITIVE EFFECTS ON YOUNG CHILDREN .DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE .

With the usage of computers on daily basis ,the younger generations could have many disadvantages than advantages .It is agreed that this trend of computerization impacts in a negative way on children.


The juveniles of this era of Information Technology suffer from serious health issues due to over use of computers.Because of too much exposure to the video display units,Eye sight problems are common among adolescents .This is not all,perhaps there is another connected reason,they get stuck in one place for longer hours ,so there is no adequate physical activity.In this case they not only welcome obesity but several other associated problems like digestive disorders,fatigue and back pain also .

Moving on the same track,another major impact is the reliance on internet.Despite the students being tested for their own cognitive and imaginative skills,they resort to plagiarism by using sites like Wikipedia.As a result,the academic tasks which are intended to test their originality might lose their credibility.Therefore ,there is a dire need that,the academic assessments which has been a proven method ,to be revived .

In a nutshell,eventhough the advent of computers has advantages ,it poses a serious threat on the future generations.Consequently,this machine addicts and makes them unhealthy and more reliant on internet.Thus,In my opinion,computers definitely influence children in a negative manner

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