IELTS Writing Task 2: 'gender and university' essay

Here's my full essay using last week's plan:

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my opinion, men and women should have the same educational opportunities. However, I do not agree with the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender in every university subject.

Having the same number of men and women on all degree courses is simply unrealistic. Student numbers on any course depend on the applications that the institution receives. If a university decided to fill courses with equal numbers of males and females, it would need enough applicants of each gender. In reality, many courses are more popular with one gender than the other, and it would not be practical to aim for equal proportions. For example, nursing courses tend to attract more female applicants, and it would be difficult to fill these courses if fifty per cent of the places needed to go to males.

Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I also believe that it would be unfair to base admission to university courses on gender. Universities should continue to select the best candidates for each course according to their qualifications. In this way, both men and women have the same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful if they work hard to achieve good grades at school. If a female student is the best candidate for a place on a course, it would be wrong to reject her in favour of a male student with lower grades or fewer qualifications.

In conclusion, the selection of university students should be based on merit, and it would be both impractical and unfair to change to a selection procedure based on gender.

(265 words, band 9)

Comments

[Tom]

Thanks for your good essay!
I studied from your essay that, with these kinds of question, the 2nd paragraph show opinions (agree or disagree) and the 3rd paragraph give advices or suggestions. Is it OK? Please help me to understand it clearly.

[niam]

Thank you very much

[Simon]

Hi Tom,

No, it's not really 'opinion' then 'suggestion'.

I just wrote 2 different reasons why I disagree:

Paragraph 2: it's not realistic or practical
Paragraph 3: it's not fair

Hope this helps

[shahla]

hi Simon
your essay is so organized and perfect , i really appreciated for sharing the ideas. One thing can you arrange any essay related to senior citizens(elderly peoples)?

[lubna]

hello Simon,
Its really a nice easy. Thank you very much for sharing.Would you please tell us which are band 7 vocabularies here.I heard vocabulary helps to get higher band.

[Simon]

Hi Shahla,

I've got a list of topic requests from different students, so it might take me a while before I can do a lesson about that. There's a section about 'old people' in my ebook if you want some ideas right now.

...

Hi Lubna,

Good point. I'll write a list of the band 7 vocabulary in Sunday's lesson here on the site.

[Aumda]

Hi simon , could please give me a feedback for this essay ?
Sohuld empolyers have an equal number of their staff?
To what extend you agree or disagrre with this statement?

Some employers are eager to promote the equality in recruiting their staff from male and female. Having given the job opportunities to one gender rather than another is discriminatory and illegal act with probable consequences on the reputation of the workplace. However, being a diverse incorporation or company is a closer step to achieve success in several aspects like wider range of knowledge and skills with encouraging aim of modern and acceptable trend in distributing the job chances for applicants.
Many employers face some complicated obstacles to take on the workforce. For example, employment should be based on the qualification and experience rather than sex .If any candidate looks for a specific job; they would fill out an application form, requiring information on sex and marital statue. This could lead to discrimination in the offered job opportunities between male and female. Furthermore, in some countries, it is illegal to accept women instead of men or vice versa, because this could bring discriminatory reputation to the company.
On the other hand , however ,experienced managers should take into account some features in their employees such as accuracy, loyalty and practice in specific profession with a high-recorded profile to ensure a promising result in the future of their workplace. It is quite widespread to find some sectors like building projects, engineering and heavy- lift jobs are lacking women , which are frequently at men hands, while nursing ,teaching systems present more chances for women. Due to the nature of each gender, applicants could be distributed accordingly. Thus, successful work leaders should hire a equal, renewable, skilful and knowledgeable workforce.
To sum up, it is worth mentioning that employment technique must be based on the skill and experience rather than gender. Personally, I think, it would be better for employers to hire the appropriate person in the right position. Also, they should be paid and treated equally to ensure a certain improvement in the social statue of the workers in their workplaces.

[Muzaffer]

Hi Simon,

I sat IELTS today. The topic in writing part 2 was:
" Early technological developments have brought more benefits and advantages to the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments will ever have."

To what extent do you agree/disagree?

I wanted to share it.

I learnt many from your advices even in a short period.

Thank you

[deepika]

this topic is bit confusing me.As early technical developments are invention of wheel ,invention of telephone.Recent development mean internet penetration and its effect?
HI SIMON WOULD YOU SUGGEST BETTER ANSWER FOR THIS?

[Rasha]

Early technological developments have brought more benefits and advantages to the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will.hi simon ,please,can explain this topic for me. i had exam yesterday.and i could not understand it . thank you for your lessons. i appreciate your work.

[Bekzod]

Hi Simon
Can you please comment on my introduction?

The topic is:Scientists and the news media are presentig even more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibilities of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views?

The introduction :
In our contemporary world the issue regarding the phenomenen known as "climate change” remains as a source of bone of contention among all walks of life. The problem is talked much, however, there is a strong dispute whether individuals or governments should take action in order to solve the upcoming disaster of a global scale. However, before drawing a conclusion all the pros and cons have to be assesed at length.

My questions:
1. Is the use of idiomatic vocablury ok? Especial the "bone of contention" part.
2. Speaking question. There is a chinese web-site and the author is an IELTS examiner as he claims. http://ielts-yasi.englishlab.net/index.htm He says that the cue cards (Speaking part 2) can be predicted though the range of cue cards is 70. Is this true? Hope the answer is positive =)
Thanks in advance will wait for your reply.

[Simon]

Hi Aumda,

I'm afraid I don't give essay feedback or scores. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays.

...

Thanks Muzaffer.

...

Hi Deepika and Rasha,

I looked at that question with my students. We decided that both early technologies (e.g. forms of transport like cars or trains, and certain medicines) and recent developments (Internet, new medical technologies) have been equally important in our lives.

...

Hi Bekzod,

'Bone of contention' is ok, but I probably wouldn't use it myself.

One tip: you'll get a better score if you present your opinion in the introduction and then use the rest of the essay to explain and support it. Saving your view for the conclusion is not the best technique.

I'm not sure about the exact number of cue cards, but it's true that they tend to repeat the same ones.

[Aldo]

Hi Simon,

Through the information I have read while preparing for the IELTS, I have seen that some people say that one paragraph of the body should be dedicated to give the reasons why the point of view opposed to yours has some importance and truthfulness in it.

Do we have to include that in our essay?

Aldo

[Simon]

Hi Aldo,

No, it's not necessary to do that. You can if you want, but it's definitely not necessary.

[dpesh]

hi simon plz give a dscirption essay about the essay"earlier technological developements brought more benifits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent development ever will"

[Simon]

Hi Dpesh,

Have a look at this lesson:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/07/ielts-writing-task-2-technology-topic.html

[Munir]

Respected Simon,
I am a new entrant on your site. I am glad to have found your site for ielts preparation. As I am a new comer, I don't know where to start. Would you please guide me. what is the most appropriate way to get maximum benefit from your posted lessons.I am optimistic about a wonderful tip from your side.
Thanks a lot.
Munir

[Simon]

Hi Munir,

I'm glad you've found the site.

There is no special order, so just have a look around and see what you find. Try to follow the daily lessons, and look back to previous lessons whenever you have time.

Good luck!

[Mh]

Hi Simon
Im wondering why you in your essay wrote this sentence "If a university decided to fill courses with equal numbers of males and females, it would need enough applicants of each gender"
and didnt write If an university...

thank you for your tips which you have written

[Simon]

Hi Mh,

We don't say/write "an" university. We put "an" before a vowel sound, so there are some examples that might seem strange e.g:

We say "an MP" because the sound of "M" is "em" (MP = member of parliament).

We say "a university" and "a unit" because the sound is "y", but "an uncle" because the sound is "u".

[Mh]

thanks Simon I didnt know it .Am I right when the letter u has sound "you" it doesn't considered as vowel like " a Utopia"
?? but we have to say " an urgent"

Thank you again Simon

[Simon]

That's right Mh.

[Christina]

Hi Simon I wrote an essay about this question and I borrowed some phrases from yours such as " if half of them needed to go to males" or "fewer qualifications". I submitted my essay to a writing corection servie, however they crossed them out wrote their recommendations instead such as "are reserved for" instead of"needed to go to"; "less qualifications" instead of "few qualifications" and im really confused and frusted. because of these corrections, my score has been signifcantly impacted.

[Simon]

Hi Christina,

I can tell you that "less qualifications" is grammatically wrong. "Less" is used with uncountable nouns e.g. "less money". I'm not sure how reliable that correction service is if they wrote "less qualifications".

All I can say is that everything in my essay is 100% correct.

[amarkhan]

Hi
Simon
i need help with this IELTS question

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.
Which do you consider to be the major influence?

[Simon]

Hi Amarkhan,

I'd write that both have an equal influence. This allows you to write one main paragraph about the influence of our genes, and another paragraph about the influence of the experiences we have.

Have a look at this lesson for some ideas:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/08/ielts-listening-nature-or-nurture.html

[Vivian]

I really learn something from your Blog,thanks.

[Simon]

Thanks Vivian. It's always nice to hear that my lessons are helping.

[ramin]

hi simon.i do not understand that your good essays are readible,but most essays i saw in ielts cambridge books that they are difficult to explain to a level of understanding.plz write yor advices to me what ways are good.

[Simon]

Hi Ramin,

Good writing should always be readable. For example, if you read a good newspaper article, it should be well-organised and easy to follow.

In my opinion, the problem with the Cambridge model answers is that they all follow a different format or method. I think they are probably written by different people, and this makes them confusing. Hopefully, my essays are easier because I always write them according to the same method, and this might make it easier for you to use them as models for your own essays.

[ramin]

many thanks.you just encouraged me .

[Sam]

Hi Simon,

Your essay is really helpful, and it gives me hope to achieve band 7 in writing task.

I have a question about a sentence in your essay.
"if a female student IS the best candidate, it would be wrong........"
In this conditional sentence, i think "was" might be more appropriate with "would", could you explain it?

Thanks.