IELTS Writing Task 2: sample discussion essay

Here's an example of how I write a 4-paragraph essay for "discuss and give your opinion" questions. Notice that I give my opinion in 3 places (introduction, paragraph 3, conclusion).

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university.

The option to start work straight after school is attractive for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In this way, they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. In terms of their career, young people who decide to find work, rather than continue their studies, may progress more quickly. They will have the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession. This may lead to promotions and a successful career.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. Firstly, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having the relevant degree. As a result, university graduates have access to more and better job opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications. Secondly, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive, and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people who do not have qualifications from a university or college will not be able to compete.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their careers if they continue their studies beyond school level.

(271 words, band 9)

Comments

[Pete01]

Hi Simon!
I've had a look at your essay. It's completely perfect! and it is very easy to follow. I wasn't wondering about this essay deserving a band 9!

In contrast, city life has several drawbacks. = city life has not all been without its drawbacks.

Do you think the second phrase is a good way to say?

[ana]

hi simon,
its a wonderful essay !can u please advice how can i improve my writing skills on everyday basis? before taking the exam,approximately how many essays should i practice to reach the goal of band 7....i am writing new words every day in a note book and try to use them .
thanks a tons for this wonderful site from which i am getting inspiration to pursue my dreams...

[Maya]

Hello Simon,

When they finish school,teenagers face the dilemma of either to get a job or continue their education.Weather or not to go to university or collage straight after finishing school in order to have a better career is a matter of debate.The pros and cons of both arguments will be discussed below.

Can I write my first para this way or does it affect the band score? In most of the argument/giving opinion,I've used 'pros and cons style'. I've never used I,for giving a direct opinion like you did 'I would argue'

I usually give my opinion at conclusion.I wonder,maybe that's one of the big reason why I get less band. Please let me know does it really affect my marks or suggest me how should I IMPROVE on this matter.

I would really appreciate the support from you.

[Munie]

Dear Simon,

I don't know what is formal writing and what is not-

eg. Every individual has to do recycling but then the government should encourage them.

is this sentence formal enough to write in the academic writing test?

is "but then" too informal? and how does those spoken language affect the mark??

I posted this question here because I couldn't figure out where to post. :)

thank you so much Simon-

[Sunny]

Hi,Simon
This is a fantastic essay!
I did follow your way of writing and I got a band 7 for my writing recently!
I am very happy, thank you for your help that is great!

[cao]

Hi Simon.can you give me advice for this topic:

Some people think that international sports events create problems for the hosting country and they are a waste of time and money. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

my introduce:
it is true that the hosting country has several problem when organizing international sports events. However, i definitely disagree with the idea that the hosting country is waste of time and money.

and then i will write 2 paragraphs about the benefits of hosting international sports events.

do you think that 2 paragraphs i want to write is suitable with my introduction.

thank you!

[Rey]

Where can I find the format for such a good essay?( band 9)
aside from vocabulary and grammar?

[alice]

Hello Simon,

Can we say
"heiratage and tradition will be destroyed"
and also what can we say instead of "people suffer"?

Thank you. Alice

[Simon]

Thanks Pete,

You're sentence is nearly correct. You could write "City life is not without its drawbacks."

...

Hi Ana,

It might be a good idea to write an essay every day (spending a few hours to make it perfect), then test yourself at the end of the week (spending 40 minutes only).

It's also a good idea to find a teacher who can check your work.

Good luck, and keep using your notebook!

...

Hi Maya,

Your introduction is ok, but you might get a higher score if you use my technique. Examiners give a higher score when "the position (opinion/response) is clear THROUGHOUT the essay".

...

Hi Munie,

Words like "but", "then", "and" are neutral (used all the time - formal and informal). Don't worry too much about formal/informal - if you haven't lived with native English speakers, you probably don't use much informal language. The language you learn in most English lessons is formal enough for IELTS. Just avoid contracted forms (e.g. don't, haven't) in your writing test.

...

Great news Sunny! Well done.

...

Hi Cao,

Your 2 paragraphs would definitely be suitable with the introduction you have written.

...

Hi Rey,

I send some 'essay templates' as extra materials when people buy the ebook. They might be what you are looking for.

[Simon]

Hi Alice,

Yes, but be careful with the spelling of heritage.

It depends how you are using "people suffer" - it can be used in different ways.

[alice]

Thank you so much Simon,

I want to use "people suffer" in a sentence like "people will suffer from pollution of the environment"
Can we say like that?

[Simon]

Hi Alice,

Your sentence seems a bit strange. It would be more normal to use 'suffer' like this:

"People suffer from respiratory problems due to air pollution."

'Suffer' is usually used when someone has an illness of some kind.

[alice]

Thank you, Simon.
I now understand what you mean.

[Maya]

Thank you so much Simon.

[Munie]

Thanks Simon-

you are a legend.

[adverb]

Hi, Simon, could you give me some ideas on the following topic?
Some people think museums should be enjoyable places to attract and entertain people. But others think the purpose of museums is to educate, not to entertain. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

[sulaiman]

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In our modern world, there are controversial debates between people. The argument is what is more advantageous to acquire a job with or without a scientific degree.

Job satisfaction and good working conditions could not be achieved if the candidate does not hold a scientific degree. The reason is that well paid salaries and flexible working hours are essential in job contentment. For example, .An architecture engineer ,who has a degree in architecture engineering, could estimate the amount of bricks and cement needed to build a compartment in a building according to the building measures. therefore , this engineer would be praised and awarded by these companies because his skills help the company in saving money and time.

Every student has his own pace in understanding maths , literacy and science in schools; some of these teenagers could not continue to study in university . If the teenagers find a vocational job after they finished schools , parents should encourage them to continue with this job especially if these teenagers want to. The reason is that there is no guarantee jobs even if you have an academical degree so far.

It is illogical to ask the students to go for vocational or low paid jobs if they do not want to do so, but if there are exceptional circumstances , which prevent the child to proceed according to low budget families and his level in high school us irrelevant to go further, it is advisable to work.

To conclude, parents should give the opportunity to highly motivated teenagers to go either to further education or to work after finishing school.

[Simon]

Thanks Alice, Maya and Munie.

...

Hi Adverb,

I'll try to cover that topic in a lesson soon.

...

Thanks for sharing Sulaiman.

I'm sorry I can't give feedback on your essay, but I'm sure other students will appreciate it.

[Nguyen]

Hi Simon, i can write like this:

Young people will have the chance to go through a series of working environment, condition,and constrained pressure hoop.

This is true or false?

Thank you very much.

[Simon]

Hi Nguyen,

I'm afraid your sentence is a bit confusing - it seems like you have translated wrongly because "constrained pressure hoop" seems strange to me.

[TheIELTSSolution]

Hi,

The essay shown above was absolutely great. I guess no revisions are needed for this. Keep up the good wok.

Thank you.

[Simon]

No problem.

[Ngan]

Hi Simon,
I bought your ebook few days ago. I know how to use it but I am afraid that if I write exactly your ideas and just add some linking words to complete my essay, is it plagiarism? Do I need to paraphrase your ideas?

could you give me some help?

[Simon]

Hi Ngan,

Don't worry, my ideas are not "original" - they are just normal things that any native speaker might say. You will not be punished for using the ideas in the ebook.

[Nguyen]

Hi Simon

I use structure: Go through a hoop

For ex: the heavily indepted poor country have to go through a series of economic and administrative hoops designed by international creditors to establish their fitness for debt write-offs.

Maybe i have wrongly applied this above structure , right?
Thank teacher Simon so much.

[Simon]

Hi Nguyen,

We talk about "jumping through hoops" to mean "perform a series of difficult tasks" (so you've got the right idea), but I don't think you'll be able to use it in most IELTS essay contexts.

[nguyen]

Thanks my teacher so much

[lpThao]

hi simon,
is it ok if i start like this:
"Getting a job or pursuing higher education after school is many people’s concerns. I believe that it depends on what job they want to do in the future."
in this type of question, do we have to support for one site only or we can have a different idea about the option? which is easier to write?
thank you very much for your useful blog. I have learned a lot from it.

[Simon]

Hi IpThao,

It's ok to say that "it depends..." - you don't have to choose one side to agree with. However, I find it easier and clearer to choose one side.

Also, "is many people’s concerns" is not correct. Try to find a different way to say that.

I'm glad you like the blog!

[md zillur rahman]

Hi simon,your essay was really brilliant

[roohidanish]

hi simon,i found your essay easy enough it should be more high level.

[Simon]

Hi Roohidanish,

Students often have the wrong idea about what "high level" means. You might find my essay easy to read (because it is well written), but that doesn't mean that it was easy to write!

[sha]

hi simon,
can you help me to give some ideas about "Outline the skills required for an international student (who is not a native speaker of English) to be successful on a degree level programme.what strategies can he uses to ensure that he has the skills required and are fully prepared for the challenge?
thanks Sha

[Simon]

Hi Sha,

I guess you need: to have a sufficient level of English to understand lectures and articles, to be hard-working, to know how to find resources like articles and books (online and in a library) etc.

To prepare, students should look at the degree programme to know what to expect and what the course modules are, and maybe buy and read some of the key textbooks before the degree starts.

[visal]

hi , i saw that u have used personal language such as "I" , so is that ok to use personal language in academic essay?

[ANNE]

Hi, Sir!
I plan to take up my IELTS academic exam this June 9 but i have difficulties in writing, both task 1 and task 2..Would you please help me how to start my writing and how can I identify the overall trend using words that will attract the examiner? Please give me tips on how to write my essays within the allotted time frame. I badly need it. i couldn't enroll in the testing center, I am financially short. Please, please help me...
Thanks in advance.
God speed!
I want to know more.

[ana may g. ambos]

hi simon,good day! I amtaking my IELTS academic exam this coming may 26,2012 at cebu city....but i still have some difficulties in my writing,both task 1 and task 2 and my speaking test.can i ask for more sample answers please? thanks thanks!

[Leata]

hi
i'm trying to write an essay on a topic that is needed to be explained..does explain the same with discussion essay

[claudia]

Wow great content in this article just what i am searching for thanks for sharing it to the public.

[ancy]

hi simon,

it is very beautiful and easy un derstanding essay.iam trying to follow this style.so piz give tips for good writng.

[Abhishek Srivastava]

Hi Simon

I have red your sample essay and i got little bit confidence to write essay but here i just want to tell one thing like i am appearing for IELTS general training after one month .
However i am IT professional and every day i use to write mails but still i did not have that much confidence to clear the IELTS exam because my school back ground was Hindi medium and i struggled alot on English. Specially i am facing problem with reading and writing . Actually i can write but i am unable to frame my sentences in required topic format also unable to use effective vocabulary . So please help me by seeing this text how good i am in Writing.
Thanks
Abhishek

[ranish]

Hy Simon
Its a wonderful essay i have ever read. So how can I improve my essay writings. Plz give me some tips to write am essay for band 8.

[Hrsh]

Hi Simon
i need to now which kind of essay are appearing in the task 2 ielts also how to write them ? what i mean is the order and were can i set my opinion, please rewrite to me as soon as possible.

[IELTS Singapore]

Hi Simon,

Is it necessary for you to refute the arguments in your second paragraph - the opposite argument you don't agree with? Is it OK to just leave it there or do we need to show why it's wrong and why you dsiagree with - i.e. refute it?

Or would it be good enough to just list your own opinion and arguments in the third paragraph and that's it? Thanks.

[Ethan]

I can't understand why it use "to getting" rather than "to get".Is there anyone who can explain it for me.Thanks