IELTS Writing Task 1: 'consumer durables' table

Yesterday I looked at the following question with my students.

The table below shows the consumer durables owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.

Here's our essay plan:

1. Introduction: paraphrase the question
2. Overview: highest = TV, biggest change = telephone and central heating
3. Describe figures for the 4 items with highest percentages
4. Describe figures for the 4 items with lowest percentages

We did paragraph 3 as an example:

In 1972, 93% of British homes had a television, and this increased to 98% in 1983. The majority of homes also had a vacuum cleaner and a refrigerator. These consumer durables were owned by over 90% of households by the end of the period. Washing machines were the fourth most common item, with 66% of households owning one in 1972, rising to 80% of households in 1983.

Comments

[Karin]

Hi Simon,
this is my first essay....
1. The data shows the percentage of british consumer goods between 1972 and 1983.
2.It can be said that the highest number of appliances was the television with 93% in 1972 and 98% in 1983.
The biggest changes in british households for the entire period were in telephone and central heating with a steady increase from around 40% to 64% in central heating and 77% telephone owners.
4.In 1972, 42% of the british consumers had a telephone and over the eleven year period it increased considerably to 77%. The central heating ownership grew about 25% from 39% to 64%.
18% of the british customers bought a video recorder which was introduced onto the marked in 1983.
The lowest increase in british homes is the owning of dishwasher.
First seen onto the marked in 1978 with 3% there was a slowly rising to 5% in 1983.

[grazilda]

Hi Simon! I'll be taking my exam on January 22 and I'd like to ask a favor from you-can you please post your sample essay for Cambridge IELTS 6,test 4,writing task 1-it shows 2 bar charts on number of marriages and divorces and marital status of americans from 1970-2000. Please! :) I just can't find the relationship between the two charts because in the first chart n;umber of divorces is increasing while it decreases in the 2nd figure.
Tnx in advance.

[Simon]

Hi Karin,

I'm afraid I can't give detailed feedback or a score, but you seems to have the right idea. Just make sure you write 4 clear paragraphs (don't start each sentence on a new line).

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Hi Grazilda,

Ok, I'll find that question for next Thursday's lesson.

[Najla]

Hi Simon,

i have question about task 1 . is it important to write linking words. such as Also, However, etc..

[Karin]

Thank you Simon for your feedback.

[tung]

hi, Simon.
please explain question to me.
in following sentence
''These consumer durables were owned by over 90% of households by the end of the period''
you use the past simple. but i think that '' by the end of period'' means that a time before a specific point in the past. so we should use past participle .can i use past participle in this sentence?
thank you so much

[SamEer]

I have written the following introduction and overview for the above mentioned task,please correct it sir ,

The table illustrates the percentage of british families who had different consumer appliances during the period from 1972 to 1983.

It is clear that the television had the highest figues of ownership in the table.There was a significant rise in the telephone and central heating ownership in this period.

[Simon]

Hi Najla,

It's good to use some linking words, but the obvious ones like "however" are not the only words that link ideas. In my paragraph above, "this", "these" and "one" are also linking words.

...

No problem Karin.

...

Hi Tung,

Do you mean that you want to use the past perfect "had been owned"?

Often we do use the past perfect with "by", but not always. In this case I'm talking about the end of the period, not the time before it, so "had been owned" would seem strange.

...

Hi SamEer,

Great, you've done exactly what I suggested. Just remember the capital "B" for British.

[yagnesh]

Hi simon,
for dishwasher, do we say that it was introduced in 1978? and same for video 1983?

[Simon]

Hi Yagnesh,

Yes, you could say that. Or you could say that no figures are given for video until 1983.

[SULTAN2020]

hi Simon

you are my role model reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly

[Simon]

Thanks Sultan!

[Tabriz]

it is my essay . third paragraph is plagiarized :))

The table represents percentage of household devices bought by British consumers between 1972 and 1983.

In first glance, it can be seen from the table that the highest percentage of people owned television while biggest change was on telephone and central hitting in given period.

In 1972 , 93 % of people had television and this increased to 98 % in 1983 . The majority of homes also had a vacuum cleaner and a refrigerator. This consumer durables were owned by over 90% of households by the end of the period .The fourth most common item was washing machines and owners of this rose from 66% in 1972 to 80% in 1983.

Dishwahsers began to be used only form 1978 by 3% of British population and this percentage increased just to 5% in 1983. Then came videos which were owned only 1983 by 18% of householders. Central heating and telephone were owned by 37%, 42% of British respectively at the beginning of the period and these consumer durables become highly popular 1983 with over 25% growth in percentage of consumers.

[Simon]

Thanks for sharing your essay Tabriz.

I can't give scores or check mistakes here, but you seem to have the right idea.

Simon

[naji]

dear simon

i am not looking for a specific score for the piece of writing below. i wrote it a bit differently from what you suggested. instead of focusing on the highest figures, i focused on the changes,both big and small. could you please tell me if this approach is ok?

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The table shows the proportion of consumer appliances owned by families in Britain between 1972 and 1983.

It is clear from the table that there was a steady rise in the figures for household gadgets over the period shown. While the highest increase was seen in the use of telephone, the percentage of television and dishwasher ownership grew very minimally.

In 1972 only 42% of British families had telephones, but the figure shot up dramatically to 77% in 1983, an increase of 35%. There was also a 25% increase in the central heating ownership in around a decade. While refrigerator use rose by 21%, washing machine ownership saw a 14% growth between 1971 and 1983.

In 1983, in the year of their introduction, just 18% of English families possessed videos, and from 1971 to 1982 the proportion of vacuum cleaners grew by 8%, where as households with television and dish washers rose slightly by 5% and 2% respectively.

[Simon]

Hi Naji,

Yes, this approach is really good too. Very clear and well-organised.

[zhon]

thanks simon, you are really helpful!

[Simon]

No problem Zhon.

[johnson]

hi simon

it this correct sentnce

although bristish households had significantly a greater percentages of televiosion ownership throughout the period, the growth was much less significant in the following years as it rose by just 5% in total over the period shown

[johnson]

specific details >2 less growth
having exam soon , pliz comment on this

In sharp contrast, the percentages of other electric appliances owned in the British households showed less growth during the same period of time.To be specific, the percentage of television ownership rose to 98% in 1983 from 93% in 1972. similarly, the percentage of vacuum cleaner ownership rose by 8% and those of washing machine significantly lower by just 2% even though this was lately introduced in the British households in the year 1978.

[johnson]

the table reflects changes in the number of electric appliances that were owned in the British households for a period of 11 years.

it can be seen that the proportion of goods owned increased over the period shown. Television ownership indeed accounted the significant growth, however.

[Simon]

Hi Johnson,

I'm afraid that sending sentences and paragraphs separately is the same as sending full essays.

It's impossible for me to offer grammar correction or individual feedback on students' work. I would be working 24 hours a day if I did this.

Sorry I can't help. Try to find a teacher who can check your work and help you face-to-face.

[reshade]

Please evaluate my essay if possible

The chart above provides information about the number of various durables that are consumed over the 10 years period started from 1972.
As we can observe from the table, in that decade the most common consumer durables were television set and vacuum cleaner, numbers of which rose to just above 90% with slight growths till 1983. Videos and dishwashing machines, however, were the least favor, as might be expected. Although telephones and heating systems owned were not popular so much in 1970s, they were followed by greatest increases- 77% and 64% respectively.
The rest 2 types of durables which are consumed by British from 1972 to 1983 named refrigerator and washing machine. Despite some poorer figures, they also rose steadily among these years.
From this table, it is obvious that the number of all types of durables – the overall trend is upward in the years between 1972 and 1983.

[Simon]

Hi Reshade,

I'm afraid I don't offer essay correction and scoring. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays. Try to find a teacher who can help you face-to-face.

[Moka]

Hi Simon,could I paraphrase the introd as follows
The table compares the British households in terms of (their consumption) or (their ownership) of different durables between ......
Does it make sense?

Could I say consumption of durables?
Also,could you please confirm that the percentage is related to the household or families not the goods?
Thanks a lot

[Moka]

Ownership to
Ownership of

[Simon]

Hi Moka,

Your sentence is fine, and both consumption and ownership are possible. Note: ownership OF (not 'to').

Yes, the percentage is for households. For example, in my paragraph I wrote: "In 1972, 93% of British homes had a television".

[simran]

is this sentence very confusing , sir?

The percentage of telephone ownership , although popular throughout the period in the British households accounting well above 90%, rose by just 5% over the period shown.

[Simon]

Hi Simran,

Yes, the big phrase between the commas is a bit confusing.

[simran]

how about this, sir?

The percentage of telephone ownership rose by just 5%, rising from 93% in 1972 to 98% in 1983.

[Simon]

That's fine Simran.

[abdullah qadir]

Respected Sir Simon,

I couldn't improve my writing task 2 ability.plz give me some tips in this regard.

[Ann]

Hi Simon,
Would you please give comment on my following essay. Thank you very much

The table gives the information on durables that British households owned in their houses between 1972 t0 1983.
It is clearly seen from the table that percentage of all durables in UK families increased during 9 years. It is easy to recognize that telephone percentage increased dramatically by 35% (from 42% in 1972 to 77% in 1983). The second biggest change is in central heating consumption. There was about 64% of family owing central heating while there was 39% in the year of 1972.
However, it can be seen that there was a little change in the televion consumption. The percentage of TV consumption rose slightly by 5% (to 98%) although the numbers of family having TV were always the highest.
Especially, there was no family using video and dishwasher in the first years (1972,1974 and 1976). Dishwasher started becoming one of the household durables in 1978 with very low percent (3%). After few years, the percentage of using it increased slightly to 5%. Other durable such as video appeared in UK family very late, in 1983 with very good beginning (18%).
In conclusion, most durables such as central heating, TV, vacuum cleaner, fridge, washing machines, dish washer and telephone were used in British families. And after nearly 10 years, the number of family using these equipment increased from slightly to dramatically. It can be clear evidence for better living standard of British family