IELTS Writing Task 1: four pie charts essay

Here is my full essay for a question about 4 pie charts.

Cambridge IELTS book 7, page 101:

The pie charts compare the amount of electricity produced using five different sources of fuel in two countries over two separate years.

Total electricity production increased dramatically from 1980 to 2000 in both Australia and France. While the totals for both countries were similar, there were big differences in the fuel sources used.

Coal was used to produce 50 of the total 100 units of electricity in Australia in 1980, rising to 130 out of 170 units in 2000. By contrast, nuclear power became the most important fuel source in France in 2000, producing almost 75% of the country’s electricity.

Australia depended on hydro power for just under 25% of its electricity in both years, but the amount of electricity produced using this type of power fell from 5 to only 2 units in France. Oil, on the other hand, remained a relatively important fuel source in France, but its use declined in Australia. Both countries relied on natural gas for electricity production significantly more in 1980 than in 2000.

(170 words)

Comments

[Vilma]

Hello Simon,

Could you please post for us the pie charts?It might help us to get a better understanding of your essay which is very helpful for us. Thank you very much for your precious help.

[Simon]

Hi Vilma,

I agree but I haven't got a digital copy of them I'm afraid.

If I find a copy, I'll give you the link.

[Vilma]

Thank you Simon.

[Konstantin]

Simon, thank you very much for your unvalued help

[Simon]

No problem Vilma and Konstantin.

[justin]

Dear Simon, the most difficult thing for me when I do writing task 1 is that I know what I have to write. with regards to 4 pie charts, can you tell me the way to select the most important features to describe. Thanks a lot.

[Simon]

Hi Justin,

I wrote the essay above by finding one interesting thing to say about each fuel source. Try to mention each item (whatever is shown in the charts) once - this is the best way to select the features.

Hope this helps

[Lan Anh]

thanks so much for your help ;)

[Simon]

No problem

[tenzin]

Hello Simon,
I would like to know, is it the american english or UK english that you are using in all the modules? Thank you.

[Simon]

Hi Tenzin,

I'm from Manchester (England), so I use British English.

[NIke]

thanks simon for the essay, kindly post the charts as the essay will be well understood when the graph is seen.

[Simon]

Hi Nike,

I usually do, but I didn't have this one.

[Elaine]

It is useful,Thank you very much,so generous.....

[Simon]

No problem Elaine.

[Goli]

I love you Simon. You are a nice man. Your teaching is great
Thanks alot

[SImon]

Thanks Goli

[Feng]

Thanks very much Simon. I've learned much on your website, and I will recommend it to more people. Thank you again.

[Simon]

No problem Feng.

[ayesha]

The pie chart compares the change in the amount of electricity produced by using different sources of fuel over a span of 20years in two different countries I.e. Australia and France.
Pl let me knw, is my intro ok?

[Simon]

Hi Ayesha,

You've definitely got the right idea, but don't use i.e. or e.g. in your essays.

[ayesha]

Thanx for the advice:)

[Ghyath]

Dear Simon
which is correct
the pie charts provide information on how (many units/how much units) of electricity used
Thank you and Merry Christmas

[Simon]

Hi Ghyath,

"on how MANY units...were used"

Merry Christmas!

[beatrix]

What would be if I had 2 pie charts but each chart contained 8-9 items? Shall I mention all of them?

[Simon]

Hi Beatrix,

You probably can't mention all of them in only 20 minutes. Choose the most important numbers e.g. highest, lowest, biggest changes or differences.

[beatrix]

Thank you very much, I've found your site and it seems to me that it's better than some Cambridge books that are confusing so much with their model answers. :)

[Simon]

No problem Beatrix.

[hathanh]

Hi Simon,
Can you tell me the grammar structure in the introduction sentence? For example, how do you reduce relative clause in this sentence?

[Simon]

Hi Hathanh,

"the amount of electricity produced" is the same as "the amount of electricity THAT WAS produced".

[wolfgang]

Hi Simon,
i think you should compare the use of nuclear power in both countries as there is no use in nuclear in Australia at all.

[Simon]

Hi Wolfgang,

Good point - maybe I should have mentioned that. It just shows that even I can't do a 'perfect' essay in only 20 minutes and 150 words :)

[Mona]

Hi Simon
I have a question regarding this topic.
Can I compare two separate years (1980 and 2000) in two separate paragraphs and in each paragargh compare the data given for the two countries?
thnx for your help

[Simon]

Hi Mona,

Yes, that would be fine. The important thing is to make some comparisons.

[Kieu Anh]

Thank you very much for your valuable information.

[murali]

The pie chart compares the production of electricity by using 5 different resources in TWO Different countries over a period of 20 years.

[dr gagan]

hello mam,
i want to ask about the answers given in bracket in reading test in cambridge books .

[Ritu]

Hi Simon,

Could you please corrct my following sentence-

In 1980, half of the total electricity, that is 50unit, was produced in Australia by using coal, whereas in 2000, the electricity production increased to nearly 3 foild by using the same fuel.

Many thanks

[Simon]

Hi Dr. Gagan,

The answers in brackets are words that are correct but not necessary.

...

Hi Ritu,

I'm afraid I don't offer sentence correction here. If I did, everyone would send me their sentences, paragraphs etc. Sorry.

[Yen]

Hi Simon
I'm new here, i have known ur website by accidentally. I found it is very useful for my IELTS study. Thank you very much.

[tony]

hello simon. incidentally, I found your website. It has been of tremendous help to my revision. I have sat for three IELTS exam, always, i have a means score of 6.5. my greatest foe is reading which I have never gone beyond 6.how can I improve in reading?

[Neil]

http://ielts-simon.com/files/t1-marriage-charts-2.pdf

Hi simon i am writing an answer to the question in the above link. please give me some feedback.

The first barchart compares the ratio of marriage to divorce over the period of 30 years and the second bar graph reveals the proportion of relationship status in the year 1970 and 2000.

As can be seen from the graph one, the marriages occured more compared to the divorce in the given time frame. similarly, it is clear from the graph two that the proportion of married status outnumbered the other relationship status in both the years.

The number of divorces remained lower by almost half the number of marriages between 1970 and 2000.In 1970, the number of marriage was 2.5 million which was also the highest number compared to other years. while the number dropped to the least of 2 million in 2000. On the other hand, the number of divorces remained below 1.5 million through out the given period.

Similarly, the proportion of relationship status was highly dominated by married followed by never married in both the years. There were only 15-20% adult who claimed to be never married in the respective year 1970 and 2000. While, the proportion was less than 10% in case of widowed and divorced in both the years.

please simon help me out find where i should make correction, help me identify my weakness and strengths. you are my last resort i need to score 8 in ielts before november.

[Simon]

Just keep practising Tony!

...

Hi Neil,

I'm afraid I don't offer essay correction or scoring. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays. If you would like to get some essays corrected, read the link below:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/10/essay-correction.html

[KatiePham]

Hi Simon,

I don't understand why you wrote "Australia depended on hydro power for just under 25% of its electricity in BOTH years". Meanwhile, I reckon from the pie chart of Australia in 2000, the amount of electricity produced using this power was 36 units.

Can you please explain the reason why you made that conclusion?

Regards,

Katie

[Simon]

Hi Katie,

The units and the % are two different things. A pie chart always shows you the %. If it's less than a quarter of the pie, it's less than 25% - it doesn't matter how many units that is.

[KatiePham]

Hi Simon

Thank you so so so much. I think it is my weak point. I only focus on what I can see from the chart/ graph and I forget to use different ways to make the reports/ essays more interesting to read. That is the reason why my writing results were always 6.5 or lower.

Can you please give me some ideas of how to fix my problems?

Best regards

[Simon]

Hi Katie,

Try to look through as many of my task 1 lessons as you can. All of my best advice is in the lessons.

[KatiePham]

THANK YOU SIMON. I HOPE THIS TIME, MY SCORE WILL BE HIGHER THAN IT USED TO BE.

BEST REGARDS,

KATIE

[Acharya]

Hi Simon,

Lately i got known this site and found it so helpful for them who are preparing for IELTS.

After few days i m going to have my test, if i will get the scores i need, thank you so much, if i won't get, will be back to you.

Acharya

[Levi]

Hello Simon,

Can I describe the charts in 1980 in the 3rd paragraph and the ones in 2000 in the 4th?
I mean, I'd like to talk about both countries in 1980 in the third and both countries in 2000 in the fourth. Do you think it's a good idea?

[Negin]

Hi Simon,before anything I want to thank you for you sincere helps.

I tried to write an essay regarding the topic bellow.would you please give me some advices and tell me what score it may get in IELTS.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the in formation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below illustrates some factors which make farm lands damaged,The table displays how these items influenced on three areas during a decade, the 1990s.
It is noticeable that feeding cattles on farmlands,as the major reason, causes these parts unproductive.The table gives some information about these factors and their effects on three various regions,namely North America,Europe and Oceania.

Regarding the pie chart,the most significant land degradation is happened by over using of plants due to so much animal feeding on them and high consumption of jungles,constituting 35% and 30% respectively.O n the other hand,farming in high rate holds only 28%.

About the table,it is obvious that Europe had the most proportion of damaged farmlands by 23%,where as North America formed only 5%.Besides,over gracing made up 11.3% in Oceania which was in sharp contrast to situation among other regions.Another figures emphasizes that Europe constituted as much as 9.8% of degradated lands by clearing the forests which is very disastrous. As another information,although Europe had the first position in over-cultivation too,there was a high tendency to farming in North America which was three times as much as Oceania.

[quang]

Hi Simon,
Can you interpret this sentence:"Coal was used to produce 50 of the total 100 units of electricity in Australia in 1980, rising to 130 out of 170 units in 2000"
Why did you use "rising"?
Is it a phrase?

[Thao Huong]

Dear Quang,
I think that it is a reduced sentence. ""Coal was used to produce 50 of the total 100 units of electricity in Australia in 1980; it rised to.."

[Quang]

Thank Huong Thao ^^

[george]

u are nice man
thanx a lot for ur advices

[Ceyhun Babashov]

I can even learn many tips from comments to your posts...it is incredible..thanks you a lot..On saturday i will have the official exam :)

[Carol Odero]

Thank you Simon for the great work that you are doing .I do appreciate so much,God bless you.