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Thursday, October 07, 2010

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Hi Simon,

I wrote an introduction and an overall trend.

The three column charts illustrate developing and industrilised countries participated in education and science at different levels in terms of average years of schooling, scientists and technicians per 1000 people, and spending on research and development between 1980 and 1990.

As an overall view, it is clear that the gap of participation in education and science between developing and industrilised countries became wider from 1980 ot 1990.

Over a decade industrialised countries have spent higher amount on research and development, had more scientists and technicians, and even more years of schooling.

In industrialized countries, in 1990, there is a direct correlation in number of people going to school and having more scientists and technicians.

Also, in industrilised countries, in 1990, a correlation exist in spending higher amount on research and development and having more scientists and technicians.

Hi Simon

Here is my introduction, but I think its very long. What do you think?

The three graphs compare the developed and developing countries in term of schooling level, number of scientists and the amount of fund for research and development between 1980 and 1990.

It is quite clear that the educational level in industrialized countries greatly increased in a ten year period, Keeping a significant difference with those in developing countries through out the whole period.

It is clear from the charts that most related levels of educational and scientific factors increased over the selected years with the exception of developing countries which had a slight decrease in spending on research and development.

FROM SIMON:

Thanks for your contributions. You have all got the right idea.

I think there are 2 key things to notice for the "overview" or summary paragraph:

1. The figures for industrialised countries are/were much higher.
2. There is/was an overall increase in participation in education and science from 1980 to 1990 (for the moment, we can ignore the one figure that decreased).

So, here's my overview. Remember, it comes after the introduction (in which I would already have mentioned that what figures in each chart refer to).

OVERVIEW:
It is clear from the three charts that the figures for developed countries are much higher than those for developing nations. Also, the charts show an overall increase in participation in education and science from 1980 to 1990.

Keep working hard!

Simon

Hi Simon. Here's my answer for Academic Writing Task 1, multiple bar graphs. If possible, please give an estimate band score for my writing, so I can improve it. Thanks a lot!


The bar graphs compare the competency levels of developing and industrialised countries with regards to years of learning, ratio of professionals and amount of money spent for investigations
over a period of ten years.

In 1980, developing countries gained an average of 2 school years, with 10 scientists and technicians per 1000 population, and 50 US billion dollars spent for research and development. Industrialised countries, however, got an average of 8 schooling years,40 scientists and technicians per 1000 population, with 160 US billion dollars spent for research and development.

In 1990, Industrialised countries showed an increase of 2 points reaching 10 years in education in contrast to developing countries having only an average of 3 schooling years. There are 70 scientists and technicians per 1000 population in industrialised countries while developing countries only have 40 professionals.
Lastly, there is a 50% decrease in funds spending only 25 US billion dollars for investigations performed by developing countries in comparison with industrialised countries where they doubled their funds
and spent almost 350 US billion dollars for research and development.

As a conclusion, the report shows that industrialised countries had the highest
level of participation with regards to education, science and investigation,
as compared to developing countries over a ten year period, 1980 and 1990.

Hie Simon I have been reading an essay in E-book about Education,is it okey to write one side of the essay when it is about agree or disagree question.Thank you.

Hi Diane,

I'm afraid I don't check students' essays on this site. Many students have asked me to do this, so I have to say no to everyone - otherwise I would be marking essays all day.

My advice is that you find a teacher who can help with face-to-face lessons where you live.

...

Hi Jennet,

Yes, when the question is "agree or disagree" you do not need to discuss both sides. The question is only asking for your opinion.

All the best

Simon

Hi,Simon
In the following sentence"It is clear from the three charts that the figures for developed countries are much higher than those for developing nations." Is it OK if I omit the pron."those"? I noticed that in some cases when we make a comparison, we don't have to include "those" or "that". For example, in the sentence"English homes use around double the amount of electricity in the winter as in the summer" Should I say" as that in the summer"?

Hi Adverb,

Yes, it's ok to omit "those" (although I think the examiner would be impressed if you used it).

I wouldn't say "as that in the summer" but you could say "compared to the summer" or "compared to that which is used in the summer".

Hope this helps

Hi, Simon.
One more question. Is this sentence"English homes use twice as much electricity in the winter as in the summer" right?

Yes, it looks fine to me!

hi simon
in this chart given the time period we will define this chart past or present sentense

Hi Akram,

I would write the essay in the past because the years are in the past.

hi
the three table charts illustrate the variation in years of schooling ,number of scientists and technicians and amount of money spent on research and development between the developing and developed countries in 1980 and after one decade .in general the education system is mush more advanced in the developed countries .

Hi Saif,

This is fine, but make sure you use capital letters at the start of sentences. Also, don't write "table chart".

hi simon.
can u explain for me that why in folloưing sentence we use simple present but not simple paste.
(It is clear from the charts that the figures for developed countries are much higher than those for developing nations.)
thank u for your help.

hi simon
or in this sentence :(There is/was an overall increase in participation in education and science from 1980 to 1990)
thank u so much.

Hi Tung,

You could use either present simple or past simple.

Present simple is fine because we can see the figures NOW (they are on the graph/chart now).

Past simple is also fine because the figures refer to years in the past.

I sometimes use present simple for the "overview/summary" paragraph and then past simple for the "details" paragraphs, but you could use past simple in each one.

Hope this helps

The bar graphs present statistical data from a survey regarding the average number of years spent in going to school including the figure of medical scientists and technicians for every 1,000 individuals, as well as the amount spent on research and development per billion US dollars between the year 1980 and 1990.

It can be clearly seen that the industrialized countries topped all of the studies involving growth of a realm for both years. In addition, there was a significant rise in the figures for developed nations among the three surveys after the 10-year period.

In 1980, people in the modernized countries went to school for an average of 8 years, while the citizens on the developing countries spent only greater than 2 years. After 10 years, the rate of the former escalated up to more than 10 years of schooling. However, there was a minute increase with the figure of the latter of about 1 year.

In addition, there were only about 40 researchers and technicians in every 1,000 people in the industrialized nations during the start of the study. However, the figure rose up to almost 70 on the last year. On the other hand, developing countries only had less than 20 individuals involved in the mentioned field in 1980, yet the number did not increase significantly at the end of the study.

Lastly, developing countries spent less than US $ 200 billions for research and development. This amount doubled after the 10-year period. Whereas the progressing states allocated a diminutive amount of less than US $ 100 billions in 1980 and surprisingly, the quantity even reduced after 10 years.


thank you and God Bless!

Hi Brisbane,

Thanks for sharing your essay - I'm sure other students will find it useful.

I'm afraid I don't check essays or give scores (if I did, everyone would send me their essays), but you seem to have the right idea.

Best regards

The Data shows the differences between developing and industrialised countries participation in education and science.

In terms of the number of years of schooling received, we see that the length of time people spend at school in industrialised countries was much greater at 8.5 years in 1980, when the figures rose to 10.5 years and 3.5 years respectively.

We can see a similar pattern in the second graph, which shows that the number of people working as scientists and technicians in industrialised countries increased from 55 to 85 per 1,000 people between 1980 and 1990, while the number in developing countries went from 12 to 20.

Finally, the figures for spending on research and development show that industrialised countries more than double double their spending from $200 bn to $420bn, whereas developing countries actually decreased their, from $75bn down to $25bn.
Overall we can see that not only are there very large differences between the two economies but that these gaps are widening.

HI, Simon I am sitting my IELTS exam tomorrow and i am really worried about the writing part one. I have completed the Cambridge Practice Test for IELTS 3 test 1 please advice me as per.

The chart gives information about Japanese tourist travelling abroad and Australian’s share of Japanese tourist over one decade from 1985 to 1995.
Overall Japanese tourist and the Australian’s share of Japan’s tourist market rose dramatically over the period shown, moreover percentage of tourist travelling to Australia just tripled over period of 10 years.

In 1985, over 5 million tourist travelled abroad, however the percentage for Japanese tourist travelled to Australia was only 2%. From 1985 to 1990, the number of Japanese tourist travelling abroad rose gradually by 6 million, whereas there was a slight fell down on Australia travelling tourist in 1989 by 0.8%.

After 1990 rate of tourist travelling stayed the same till 1993 between 10 to 12 million, However, Australia’s share of Japanese tourist fell suddenly before peaking to about 6.5% by approximately by 0.8% in 1989. After 1993 number of tourists peak to 15 million till 1995 but Australia’s share dropped by 0.5% in 1994.

The figure shows that the trend of Japanese tourist travelling abroad is going upward and few numbers of them like to travel to Australia.

Hi Prakash,

I'm afraid I don't give feedback or scores for essays (if I did, everyone would ask me to do the same). However, you seem to have the right idea.

Best of luck tomorrow!

Hai simon,can i write the introduction like this;
The bar chart depicts information regarding the
status of education and scientific development in developing and developed countries regarding the years of schooling,number of scientists and the amount of money spent on space research development.

Hi Minu,

I wouldn't use "depicts" - it's normally used for "show" when describing a painting or art work. Also, I would delete "the status of" - it confuses the meaning.

The three bar graph shows the three different categories of participation in science and education such as schooling, spending in research and development, and science and technicians, according to develop and developing countries between 1980 and 1990.

In 1980 to 1990, the average years of schooling was similar to poor countries, at 3 to 4 per cent, while the wealthy nations had 8 to 9 per cent. Meanwhile, scientists and technicians based the level of participation per 1000 people, over a period of 10 years from 1980. There is a small gap in numbers in developing nations ,at approximately 1 per cent, whereas rich countries had a big difference in figures that rose to nearly 25 per cent in 1990.

Finally, the figures spend in research and development is in billions of dollars. In developing countries the number rose dramatically by 200 billion in 1990, compared to 150 billion in 1980. By contrast, the figures increased slightly in developing regions, who had 1 percent difference over a 10 year period.


It is clear that the first world countries spend almost similarly in all levels of education and science and showed improvement over the years, while third world nations illustrated slow development in science and education.

Hi Simon,

I have few questions about this practice:
a. Can I use "years of education" or "years of learning" to replace years of schooling?

b. Is it ok if I write a sentence:
The figures show that industrialized countries more than double their spending, from $150 to 350 (measured in billions of dollar)

c.Is it fine to use “ , whereas developing countries decrease theirs”, from $50 to $10?

Thank you,
Karen

Hi Karen,

"years of education" is fine. "years of learning" isn't wrong, but it's not so clear that it refers to school attendance.

Yes, your sentences are fine. I'd probably use the past tense e.g. "doubled".

thank you, Simon

The three charts illustrate the statistical data from a survey in terms of number spent for schooling , scientist and technicians per 1000 individuals and the amount spent for research and development during ten years of period from 1980 to 1990.

it is clearly shown with the help of all these three charts that the industrialised countries topped in all levels where as the developing countries went down in this decade.

In developing countries the number of schooling is 2 and half year in 1980 , and produced only 10 scientists ans technicians per 1000 people , and spent 50 US billion dollars. the figure is drastically changed with that of developing countries where the number of schooling is 8 years and produced 40 scientists and technicians and spent 150 US billion dollars for research and development in 1980.

with the ten years of period the number of schooling increased to 3 years with the out come of 10 scientists and technicians per 1000 people in 1990 , significantly the amount spent in 1990 for research and development is 25 US billion dollars almost half of the amount spent in 1980.

outstandingly the years of schooling in industrialised countries went up to ii years, with the production of 70 scientists and technicians per 1000 people with the amount of 350 US billion dollars for research and development.that is totally in contrast with developing countries.

With a significant numbers in every field, it is obvious to say that industrialised countries are on the top in terms of years of schooling, producing scientists , technicians and spending sufficient amount for research and development, the developing countries however, lacked behind.

Hi Phatyma,

Thanks for sharing your essay, but I'm afraid I don't offer essay correction or scoring. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays. Try to find a teacher who can analyse your essay in detail.

hi Simon,
can i write overview like this,
Overall the level of participation increased for both the countries over this period shown.Unlike the developing countries,in the developed countries,more people went to school,there were more scientists and technicians,and more budget was spent on research and development.

That looks fine.

Thank you

These three graphs show comparison between developing countries and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990 by three different items.

Overall, industrialized countries spend more time and more efforts to produce scientist and technicians compared to developing countries.

In first and second graphs, two countries spend more time to study as well as they can get more experts in 1990 than in 1980. Looking at the industrialized countries, the number of scientists and technicians increased in 1980 and 1990 with 40 and 70 per 1000 people respectively. Whereas, just around 8 per 1000 people increased in developing countries during that periods.

In third graph, the figure of 1990 invested two times money as much as the one of 1980 in industrialized countries with $150 and $350 respectively. On the other hand, the pattern of developing countries was shown reversely in two years with $50 and $20 respectively.

In conclusion, more money and more time are spent in industrialized countries in 1980 as well as 1990.

hi Simon,

please, look through my report, thank you in advance!!!

The bar charts illustrate the difference in education and science between developing and industrialized countries in 1080 and 1990. At the first glance we can see, that industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990.
At the first glance we can see that industrialized countries had significantly higher level of education and science in all mentioned years. To start with, the number of schooling years was approximately three times lower in developing countries than in developed both in 1980 and 1990 and was 2,4 and 3,6 years of studying respectively.
The number of scientists and technicians per 1000 people in industrialized countries was 41 in 1980 whereas forth less in developing countries. Evidentially, the number increased sharply in developed countries than in developing countries and reached 70 persons in 1990.
The developed countries spent much more money on R&D than others. The figure was 170 billion USD in 1980 and that was 120 billion higher than in developing countries. Industrialized countries spent nearly 350 billion USD on R&D in 1990 in contrast to developing countries that spent only 30, that was even the less than ten years earlier.

Can I write like this?

Overall, the figures of both types of countries followed upward trends in which the figures for industrialised countries were much higher than those for developing ones.

Thanks a lot

The bar graph provide information about changes in education participation in science and research funding in affluent and poorer countries over 10 year period.

The bar charts compare the average amount of time spent in school, the ratio of scientists and technicians per 1000 people and the amount of money spent on research and development in developing and developed nations in 1980 and 1990.

Overall, the figures are much higher in developed than developing countries in both years and there were also an increase in the figures over the decade in both developing and developed countries.

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